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Going from windows to escape the flames an 11 year old boy is received 42000 pounds in compensation after his family says his Cub Scout Group discriminated against him for having autism but Lisa was told by the group in our future he couldn't go to camps or take part in athletics without supervision his mother is Bev It was his complete in life a reaction that made him saw it there going forward every pretty much every event had to be supervised on a $1.00 to $1.00 basis which I felt wasn't inclusive with single Banaue I felt he'd failed to well scarcer has apologized and started an inquiry the former Catalan president will appear before a judge later following his arrest in Germany Cornish pushed him on is wanted in Spain to face rebellion charges he fled to Belgium after the disputed independence referendum in October Citizens' Advice is calling for people who use Rent to Own products to have caps on repayments similar to those on payday loans they say a combination of low incomes and high interest rates is trapping people in the cycle of debt Matthew Upson is from citizens' advice it's often the most vulnerable who have to use rent to own companies a lot of single parents a lot of people without any other income unemployment etc etc So it really does compound the difficulties. And a police officer is in hospital with serious injuries after being slashed with the sword the attack happened in the one range area of Manchester a 23 year old man has been arrested the officer is said to be recovering well right Kevin How's it going. Well it could be better it could be worse I guess $147.00 for 4 are England they trailed by $222.00 run and there are $89.00 overs left a minimum of $89.00 overs left in this 1st test match the not open era Stokes on 11 Bairstow yet to get off the mark and the wicket will follows that of these going for 23 caught at 2nd slip by play them delivery from so over just a little bit of movement away and it was drawn in just pushing of the ball with no real foot movement so Milan has gone already and so England face this continued hard battle to try and save this match remember of course the roll out for 58 has been a battle since ever the 1st session helped by the weather over the weekend but can they see it I will update you throughout the morning in the meantime the rest of the sport from Shojo soccer Bubba Watson has run to victory in the final of the World Golf Match Play in Austin he never gave Kevin case now look him in the final beating him 7 in 6 Alex Norrin has been just in Thomas in the 3rd place match the Reading Women manager Kelly Chambers says the Chelsea ladies goalkeeping coach has apologized after their 2 all League draw for attempting to punch a member of a backroom staff chambers described it as heat of the moment stuff elsewhere in the Liverpool were beaten 4 nil by Birmingham whilst Manchester City Arsenal inevitably are all through to the women's F.A. Cup semifinals and Sean Murphy says it had been a real honor to share the stage with Ronnie O'Sullivan in the final of snoopers Players Championship O'Sullivan comfortably beat him by 10 frames to 4 this is B.B.C. 5 Live on digital on the smartphone and tablet a look at the weather cold overnight with a widespread risk of frost dry and bright start tomorrow those clouds soon setting in in western areas for spells of rain by the afternoon and the rain will spread eastwards later in the day. B.B.C. 2 goes by. Hind the scenes of the N.H.S. During one of the most challenging winters on record never had it as bad as this before we don't know when we can start operating and when they won't be a child said here that we. Moved way beyond the names what led to the intervention by N.H.S. Bosses that made national headlines we're being asked to cancel any non-essential activity this is nearing the present level says I've never seen anything. At all the critically acclaimed series which has tonight at 9 on B.B.C. 2. This is a full night of 5 on Dawson at empire coming up in this song from parents in funding over you can join us the number to call is 080-859-0969 extension 3 That's 808-590-9693 said a question we're asking this morning is what the children need to know about the birds and the Bee and what age do they need to know it and what age D.-G. Find out about the birds in the bees and what T.V. Wish your parents told you. About the birds in the days that they didn't tell you. About a visit bees would you wish your parents it's so cheap or is it down to the schools to do all of that 080-859-0969 extension 3 is a number to call as of 808590693 can text me on 8 father 58 or email up tonight at B.B.C. . Chat was a good as ever for our parents in phone in which walking about the issues with parents and their children Jane Edmonson number three's with us good morning have I Yes See if you have very well and I'm imagining you've had this conversation 3 different lots of times with several more than that out of how that more than one really it's a good day the. Try to get in there. They always need to know different things this is not straightforward and this is your suggestion for a chopper can tell us why you decided this is when we should be doing this one well it's awesome my daughter is nearly 77 next month in fact and the 1st time she raised the topic of the beds and she called me completely off guard because she was just turned 5 and I was sort of the Costa Coffee Shop in a hospital and she suddenly turned round and Wasserman is really busy Q and said Mommy I know how you made me and I was like hey you know I was completely distracted because I was trying to get my coffee my fix of caffeine and when she proceeded to describe how she came about I was in combat shock and everyone around me looked at me because she asked me to confess that's exactly what I'd done for had to become. Had to be a life and it was me in the queue waiting fit if my response and I thought Oh my goodness Also do you want to baby Tina and I let's let's go let's get ready. So I kind of bailed out called Head dad as separate from head to head and I was fear Yes because he Davi Asli given her this really detailed honest description of how she came about and you know in hindsight I thought you know. It was OK because she talked to that and then the other day she just said to me Mommy what's the vet in. And it was breakfast time I've not had my caffeine fix and I just completely stumbled and I was like. A virgin someone like Mary you know Mary Joseph and then I could see she knew that. That wasn't enough for her and I thought I said OK no not like Mary it's somebody who has had a baby and I might well. Well some a casino OK that's not right well I just completely lost it so I went to face but dropped a line that I had lots of different suggestions like just this is food for thought and it's kind of a trend there's another friend posted up her 6 year old. About the birds and bees just this week. What is the best way to address the topic and as Jen said Good morning John I did imply they always want different parts of the story so it's about babies it's about. Virginity it's about sexuality. Can we just have this conversation once at 6 and then when we get to 13 do it again but no they're clearly. Clearly something of a novice at this. You've been through many ties were just having to having had to deal with it to ours which is all the anything she's green about the is what should she have. When her daughter asked graphic details to confirm whether that's how she was conceived or what should. You have to keep the age appropriate way I found with my children each one of them has for thirst brought up as a much younger age than the. Previous war. And I think it depends on the child My youngest is very into science say it was all about the mechanics and the biology of it and he didn't really think about anything Alph. My young my dog. Age she neither McCown expect age 10 started asking very very detailed questions. Not just about making a baby but about sex in general and followed up with Have you ever done a moment. At which point I say I have to say to you Look I'm happy to answer any of your questions except if they relate to me that says my private life I'm not going to answer it any general questions but if you're going to ask me whether I've done something I'm not I'm seeing those questions. And then my oldest was more about actually goals and goals he always had goals who were friends and it was I think it confused him that he might see them as anything other than friends so it was more about that. So they're already different and you have to adapt to it depending on your child and also depending on as class that where where they are asking the question from are they asking about babies about. Relationships about you know there are there are loads of different motives for asking questions it's really interesting John that you were able in I'm going to use a really modern term but able to Paul you had your daughter off when she have you done that because my daughter always picks me up and she's always checking in and just monitor remain the same way I wanted to be she'll say to me well you didn't do that mommy you haven't brushed if you tell me to get ready but you're not ready yet so the 1st thing she did do when she was 5 was ask me Mommy that's what you did isn't it that's how I got there and again I just froze because I was in public I hadn't had a moment to think I didn't expect to have this conversation at the age of 5. Items I'm surprised that I'm still freeze in and not able to just fall off quite quickly Yeah it is because you do have to think quickly and I think thank you do because you were you're very used to providing the everything else that they ask you know they're expecting you to be able to give an answer to this and you don't want to be terribly vague go fill them with fairy stories on the other hand how far do you take it you know and that's when I suppose you have to judge why your child is asking what response they expect and what's appropriate given their age and then if they're anything like mine they grow up talking about also until they get to the age of 17 and they tell you far too much stuff that you never wanted to know. But you said that you said you on so many of her questions apart from questions relating to you but I found that you know children really want to know the truth from their parents and if I think back to my experience of you know the whole birds and bees education and. I would have much preferred to know the truth from my mom because what I got at school was so vague I agree that I think she would have been best placed to explain things and for me yes to be grossed out but to really appreciate and understand and perhaps not engage in such experiences because I'm looking for the aunt says but I think you can be honest and you can be truthful and you can tell them what it's all about I'm trying to put this in a delicate way when my daughter was 10 she started asking me very specific questions that she'd learnt from older children about actually the mechanics of it people to this moment people that and it was very very shocking and very very specific. Act sexual acts that she was asking about not just the mechanics of it but actually specific sexual acts. And I have to draw the line at whether I've done the stuff or not she doesn't need to know that she might need to know that yes that happens yes people do that they do it because it fails and I so they do it because that's what they want what they like she doesn't need to know whether that's what I do yeah whether that's what I like she just needs to know that that is a normal thing that people do. OK And I will reiterate that we are trying to be delicate around this somewhat intriguing subject necessary subject. Be delicate because my poor heart can't take it otherwise. And also it's interesting that Claire was saying a moment how she wishes her parents are taught about these issues as well I wish and part of the conversation tonight is what do you wish your parents had told you about the birds in the days that they didn't tell you about the birds and bees part of this conversation really when I think about is more about relationships I wish my parents had told me about navigating my way through the conundrum of everything to do with the opposite sex. I would say boys who. Grew up in a family of just boys. My father so I didn't stand much of a chunk even the aspects of some young go popping out of nowhere and smacking you on the chops with a kiss would you do you know I wish that was the 1st thing my father navigated me and said Were this is I talk to somebody from oh this is what the song . This is what you do and here's a bus pass to go on the bus and come if. Your brother we've been having a conversation the thing is Dotson you know I came to figure out that you know parents don't know themselves I was under the illusion for a long time that you know everyone else his parents had this perfect magical relationship but mine and then you know the older I got the more I counted new friends and family members he would I just wish my parents' relationship was like this you know we're all kind of delusional when it comes to the whole romance of it let's blame Disney for this but I don't think they really knew how to do it they're full of they didn't really know how to guide doesn't I might be being super critical of my parents but I think everyone's just guess in and even now I talked to women who are in relationships with you know young babies and they're at the stage with it contemplating marriage and that he's a really good father. I don't know if this is it though because it's just really simple and there's no Baas and you know you read all these articles about how love and relationships should be and you know how you know that they're the one before you actually get married people are still looking for the aunt says in their thirty's forty's and fifty's. I have a good relationship even though not to tell you before there are parents you know they would create their own environment on their own upbringing and mother and he's got to think this with the children I think now is more the problem not necessarily that they didn't know just you know you know it's over others because this is your children until of course you know if you brought up by a single father and you're just boys some point you start competing for the same goals I won't go into that tonight maybe you never know but. If the parents don't talk about it you know my generation had Al Green and Barry White to tell us about you know sometimes you wouldn't and maybe that was say for the war kids nowadays have. To learn. About the safer thing that it's often and you know like he I went to a single sex school in the gender school I went to a Catholic convent school in fact and then after I left secondary school I went. In City College and actually that's where we really learned about life we were. I myself my peers who were exceptional in schools when it came when it came to the academics but the whole the real functionality of life was what we learned that college and actually I have to say unfortunately for someone I pay is they got themselves into really horrible situations and he really relational. Very well for I'm going to buy the whole mills and bling still boom as I say and it was all right man take the science the education that we got didn't quite explain the details of life so I knew many ago who had determination 16 and. To also themself did I actually have ensconced How did that happen how did I actually get pregnant there was no sense of reality until it hit them really hard they were unable to tell their parents about the experience they've lived with guilt for years and years and years it's affected how they have relationships now as adults it's affected the choices and decisions about children and so on and so I feel so this in my opinion permanent damage from that glossing over and the whole romanticize in of relationships. I think my parents and I didn't really speak about it either and I'm quite glad I don't have a relationship with my parents the I would want to talk necessarily about sex and relationships with them and I found that may in my peers we kind of did it together we found out about it together there was no such real sex at school. And we just sort of yeah there were a few oversea clearly was taken by surprise but not that many and I think that while I definitely wouldn't want to have spoken to my parents about it I have a completely different relationship with my own children maybe as a result I don't know that very open about relationships especially my daughter at 14 because a lot of her pay is are quite at least in forward and some of them a still very little children there really sort of in between and she's trying to figure it all out and she does asked me. About relationships and about sex and about all of. My eldest does now and again all the $21.00 less. I think that there is absolutely nothing I wish my parents had told me I will happily speak to my parents now about things sit in the back that I think I'd have died rather than shed any of it with my parents I'd normally agree with you at the end of the show most things to them but I don't think I'm going to come to that conclusion today I really wish that my parents had given me their insight on relationships. Because you know for a long time it was in my household books before boys and that was it and the. I think I was about 23 when my parents and that's both my really conservative dad you know strict African dad actually opened up a ton I need it and even my mom and you know and 23 was far too far far far too late you know and I appreciate where they were coming from in times of they wanted me to be independent and self-sufficient but even in the facts I think is very much shapes the my my relationship choices and options in actually have I really had the healthiest relationships going into it so headstrong masculine in my energy and self suspicion and independent and I can do battle by myself or I can fix whatever situation is put in front of me and really maybe I was just tolerating far too much for far too long so I wish that conversation was started much sooner and I'd say I think maybe about 14 when I 1st really started shown an interest in boys I wish we had a real honest gritty details conversation about it all and perhaps is a different conversation if you go daughters that if you go sons you come into the rigid iness Good Morning Glory go a little going all those interested in your conversation going on with her carried her in my tax affairs story when I was about 11970 and he said. So you're a better person you know memory 1st. Name parasail in the largest city when I will . Although I was the only child and most of my friends had no brothers and sisters so. It was something that you know got spoken about because kids with things from their older brothers notices to so you better granting an associate never literally a. Question just actually. Kate. Bush whom I watched there in a my really because art so far not to my wife not grown up with. Sort of thing but you never talk by to be a parent just too much she just introduced is right from the word go we had lots of small furry animals in play she still does someone making the small furry animals and that becomes part of life we stick out with Alphonse. Not the sickly for that reason just something you do with the kids and they would see small animals or lambs and columns and have even things being told and it just becomes part of life that is. Jonah made everything else is just O.P.'s rather than putting avid like a rabbit magician when I was a rabbit have I have whatever I teach you do it right from the would go no critic they tell it just becomes part of life the cycle of life is this. And I know if I learned very early then they don't become obsessed with thinking about wonder why wonder what might excite her when it comes to you what you sighing of you on about some what we do is what we to you now that's not top of the conversation. The locking Was it looks are going to smoke embarrassment someone comes out of a line that says something not you don't know because you told me to not. Everybody have. You know you can talk about animals you can talk about this is how you go I have thought we don't talk about on personal life as it but that happens now I'm just like when you said you dad I know they already. Know that from. That was just other kids at school as far as he was concerned he just has a visit in Paris as I would he read a good point so I get up and say that anyway not the end of that but you must also thank killed for that. But. When the other kids is school was the information helpful or unhelpful as I see the tree because no one really started talking about it so we were about 10 or 11 and then it be time you know because up until then it was a cap how in your back pocket and you were banished to many of them I do and that was your life but when people started just you know you just girls were just people that you didn't want to play cricket where if you started to see them slightly differently then other people used to come to scold what products or listen my sister told me that I need to sit there some was we had chain on the floor thinking my toes but I would never ever have gone I mean ask my mom about that my mom had a pool in the 1920 S. And we just didn't talk about stuff like that they didn't hold me back and I didn't this is not sort of not my life or make me a prude or anything it's just that it's just showed on the side the side that was just growing up in a study that I think many paid by to their parents about it. Richard thank you really appreciate your contribution and as you asked by the way. Mine on the streets of top new North London and. 8 or 9. I don't know if it was very helpful in Seoul because. They I should've known. I thought I knew the age and this is be a dedicated age of 8 or 9 but obviously we were street kids you know and sometimes parents. Didn't distinguish between the boys and the goals on the street we played together and the rules all sorts of information begs the question doesn't it at what age should we learn this and it's different narrative gen for telling girls about birds and bees and telling the boys because you've got 2 sons and one daughter today yeah I do my youngest one I have already spoken about relationships as such because he's just interested in poking Monon Star Wars and nothing particularly. To do. I think I didn't necessarily took about sex differently for both of them it was very much about keeping themselves safe. That huge emphasis on my. And intensive relationships to have no idea whether I space them different aspace I dealt with each issue as it came along and dealt with what I saw than I think is interesting what class said before about it being lovely and shiny and we all grow up thinking it's all so romantic and the reality is very different and I think a lot of people struggle with the fact the relationship so messy and relationships so difficult and they expect it all to be wonderful and the minute it isn't I say oh right this is wrong I'm going. Rather than just seeing it through we're trying to work through it people are. I think we have grown up in a culture where everything has to be perfect all the time because that's what we're told and that's what we see. And that is a massive toss of relationships that I think that you would benefit from the wisdom of your patterns. OK we'll come back to this in a mono tune if you'd like to join in the conversation do feel free to give us a call or over 808-590-9693 talk about the birds and the bees the kind of questions that younger people ask in this day and age where they are to be seen hearing. The birds and the big worry Jude show children about it how do you 2 children and did your parents tell you what you wish your parents had told you about relationships that they didn't really over 808-590-9693 1st let's go the latest 5 headlines his new guide for form digital online smartphone and tablet this is B.B.C. 5 Live an adult film star claims she was told to keep quiet about an alleged sexual encounter with Donald Trump in 2006 Stormy Daniels has told C.B.S. News a man threatened her in Alaska Vegas carpark in 211 was a chump denies having an affair with her Jeremy Corbyn says he sincerely sorry for any pain caused by what he called pockets of anti semitism in the Labor Party he says he'll meet members of the Jewish community to try to rebuild trust the national trauma agency says more than $5000.00 potential victims of trafficking and modern slavery were referred to U.K. Authorities last year the highest number on record the figure includes more than 2000 children and the former Catalan leader Kalish whose demand will appear before a court in Germany later following his arrest he's facing charges in Spain over October's disputed independence referendum rights England's taking on New Zealand it's the finale of the 1st Test in Auckland Kevin Els is now battling to save the testing to no 166 performs well in the bowls and obvious while the off stump through the keeper so 166 for 4 is still trailing by 203 runs forget about let's take a look at this overs remaining a minimum of $82.00 overs. On this final day Stokes is on 16 Bairstow on 13 the wickets will fall and pass of Milan for 236 overs into play a catch of 2nd slip by lay them off the bowling of Tim Southee But since then Jonny Bairstow before scoring was dropped by the keeper B.J. Watering down the leg side of the burning of Tim Southee diving to his left hand side waffling got a glove to it one handed diving away there but he couldn't keep hold of it should've caught it so let off the Bisto and for England so won 66 for 4 trails by 203 runs the risk the sport now from shows your soccer Bubba Watson cruised to victory in the final of the World Golf Match Play in Austin beating Kevin kissin a 7 in 6 more from the B.B.C.'s golf correspondent in Carter the final turned into a non contest with Bubba Watson romping to his 2nd title of the year the big hitting left hander took complete control needing only one birdie as he took the 1st 5 holes against an out of sorts Kevin KISNER from then on it was only a matter of time his no prolonged proceedings Bye Birdie in the 11th but Watson closed it out $7.00 and $6.00 at the next this victory suggests he must be regarded as one of the favorites for the Masters that's ornament Watson has won twice before Ronnie O'Sullivan has his mojo back ahead of the World Championships Newcomb next month the rocket took the Players Championship title in plundered no with a 14 win over SEAN MURPHY In the final and he had to come from behind in 5 of the 10 frames he won in a lot of games you know which showed he was probably you know feeling confident but it kept breaking down on fifty's and fall is and stuff like that and you know I just kept winning little safety exchanges and in making you know good frame and clearances not the type of match to want to play with being a charge Well I was winning the French mom visit but you know I've done what I had to do Leicester Tigers director of rugby mount O'Connor says Jonny May took a nasty knock to the head in their premiership win over Wasps man into Lang is also likely to be out for a couple of weeks with a pictorial injury Meanwhile the Wales and lions tight head prop Adam Jones has announced that he's going to be. Higher the end of this season reading women manager Kelly Chambers says the Chelsea ladies goalkeeping coach has apologised after their 2 or League draw for attempting to punch a member of her backroom staff chambers though says it's unlikely the club will pursue the matter further Now I don't think so we're like we've got quite relationship with Chelsea and that was a disappoint inside of it but it is what it is and I see if what we want to do if we take a 5 or not that we'll know is he in a moment stuff and that's the frustrating thing that things are action happen because if it doesn't reflect on the game of football that we've had today elsewhere in the W S L Liverpool were beaten 4 nil by Birmingham whilst Manchester City Arsenal and Everton are all through to the women's F.A. Cup semi finals you had a concert in Venus Williams will face each other in the 4th round of the Miami Open tennis it's after wins over Burton's and Merton's Williams came from behind to beat Kiki Burton's in 3 sets earlier defending champion counter east past at least Merton's 6261 and that she latest from B.B.C. Sport. Is Only years ago and so Britain leaves the European Union and we are travelling across the U.K. To find out if Britain is ready for Bracks it what happens globally affections locally be just as full of the drawbridge breaks it means break I just want to leave you with special reports from Liverpool swans in Edinburgh Birmingham and Belfast will be discussing how different industries are preparing and asking people from around the country how the ceiling is just one year to go and sleek A.C.C. The facts about race is we don't know what difference will make and we're not sure the fact is on the brakes this year to go. On B.B.C. 5 Live across the U.K. This is B.B.C. 5. Dogs and by this morning's parenting Ferdie we're talking about this some more very. The birds run the bees out how you talk to children about these topics in a war Asia you talk to them about the top and indeed. Did your parents tell you about the birds in the bees and what do you wish they had told you that they didn't tell you lots of different questions answered any of them or any combination of them as you wish if you like to talk to us directly we got Jed Edmonson with us he's a mum in Manchester and we've got Claire Clottey with us who's a mum in London 080-859-0969 extension 3 is the number 080-859-0969 extension 3 or should I say our number. Judith in Lincolnshire says My parents were probably well ahead of their time and I knew the facts of life early on but that still didn't stop me being freaked out at the playground the sex gurus. And dire old wives' tales about the various perils of Lucy. Well we didn't know what Lucy's were and the boys go every Stephen exits and says it would have been nice if my parents had told and by the way sorry about it just don't ask OK don't ask don't ask don't ask. About Lee said Steve the next sentence says it would have been nice if my parents it's all me anything at all about anything as it was no word was said ever and everything I learned was from my peers via gossip. And Kevin says why since you have to see such a taboo with parents kids should grow up knowing how to make kids why should that be a appropriate that's just silly Jen 0. To a certain extent I think the mechanics of it are easy it's everything that goes along with kind of engineering or some very well base it's something that you do notice to reproduce very simply and. Brands and there are that yeah that as a starting point is the starting point know that you have a conversation or I consented to have some kind of vibe of feeling about somebody you want to take that vibe and feeling for. You when you are fine if and you want to know how a baby is made you want the mechanics of it the practicalities of you don't actually want to know about. How Cinderella fell in love with the prince because there are the that they're there to separate issues when you'll find life. And I think it's very easy to deal with physically what happens that the problems are everything else that goes with it and that's where it becomes a little murky a little gray a little more difficult for parents to respond I suppose because. A loss of what happens between people in relationships is private I don't necessarily go and tell my friends everything that happens in my relationship EVA So what should children. Questions and how does it come to be a child a 5 year old 67 year old like your daughter should. Or even contemplates . OK I suppose it's a question of the condition is that we question how do we. But when Gen talks about the mechanics of our we got here was a sub hero to ask him those questions in my head she's 97 but she's claiming 7 already but that was fine. I guess you know with everything you know even if you do go to school topics math they're always on pickin Les is and you know we're always finding out more as you said it's it's all in our human nature to have the inquisitive streak and you know the mechanics of it all very simple and easy. You look at the science books and there's some really fantastic children's science books actually and biology books I find fascinating and they really well animated Illustrated and they give you a real detail sense of how things happen but actually it's the emotional side of things that is way more challenging and link in the emotional things I mean how did you choose to have me with this person with my dad it's much harder to describe by just looking at the mechanics of it. Is I will still learn ingenue you going to give me some help here because I'm grappling with it I think I well I think explaining attraction is very hard because it's so individual. And. I add in the same way that EVERY are as adults all attracted to different people. How do you explain that to a child who's wondering why 2 people might decide to have a baby. And I and the thing when they're very young you have to start out well you know babies are really nice and that's what people do when they were. Christians I wasn't allowed to have those conversations with my parents. I just wasn't allowed so they said she don't judge me based on looks before boys that was if your but you were asking about boys you talk about science which is books I've read wasn't. I just knew I could not have that conversation so should be the schools that you should have called I definitely don't think so and in terms of that attraction thing is difficult to explain but I think I have a handle on that big you know when my daughter came home at 5 saying Mommy I'm in love with this boy and I'm like OK yes I love him so much and I asked What is it that you love about him he's kind O. He does this all he does that he makes you laugh and so that was quite nice uneasy and I was able to have a much broader conversation with him but I couldn't come home 14 and tell my mom or even 7 all I have a crush on this plane a paper it just was and I just was you got your daughter. In love with him anymore. For the record before. We did touch on or about what. What people wish their parents told them you know we heard from Richard nurses and we heard from a few of the Texas were about what they wish their parents had told them but they didn't tell them I had to babysit Callie said to me grown woman at this point with children running she said I wish my parents had told me when I was about 13 if not younger that there would be men my father's age who would try to seduce me. In a very serious way well this conversation is about safety and just Pinella ahead and when it's come to safety I've been in there. I mean as soon as she could understand. What I was saying and I was talking to have about privacy you know start at potty training and even. Time she's always been very aware of that and that conversations always being. Encouraged because as you know as far as I'm concerned my DIL is not with me 247 so I have to make sure she understands what's appropriate what's not appropriate and how to keep yourself safe so. Yeah it's interesting and I guess. You're adults and I don't know what conversations you had about safety with your dad. Was as widely discussed as it is today. Well I didn't have any questions about. Just boys you see what I mean but you know I've had safety because a colleague of mine said that all those years ago and I've got daughters and I'll be honest. I have to stay out of this I don't have to have stayed out of these kind of conversations he's not have to go on to say should we feel guilty about saying what you just said director of us my wife to have that. I didn't know we would. Have to have a you know how important it is for you know or how I think I missed out by not having those conversations with my dad I would have loved to know more about men and my dad because my mom's have opinion but she's not a man as it were to be prescriptive I do want to Jarman jump in and poison their minds and my wife's a lot more delicate come and I want to mail a specific I have come to some slack. As well you know and I have to say that I have that conversation with them too I think when children are very young that who are vulnerable definitely regardless of whether boys OK. And they all have to be taught the boundaries and actually if you teach boys the boundaries they're less likely to break them when they're. Towards anyone else because they've learned well when they're young whether they're boys or girls yeah. And in terms of safe day I don't think that really is any difference whether you're talking about prejudice or whether you're talking about. Is or whether you're talking about pregnant say I don't think there can be any difference between what you teach your son says to what you teach your daughter saya 100 percent agree in terms of the predators as well you know it not being gender specific there's this idea that it's just a male monster that is you know that you're at risk from but actually you know I've told my daughter about safety you know with regards to who stranger danger and you know women also being in a position where they know they're not necessarily nice people automatically anybody here is here has a position of responsibility or power over them is somebody they need to know that there are boundaries down and down whether they are men or women that have the power whether it's boys or girls that you're talking about I don't think there is any difference and you need to teach all of them equally definitely be Cafu you know one of our listeners as I just. Told how to choose friends may be. Learning to choose friends. To not choose friends. And pretty. In the ways in the other ways it's all about if they. Choose I I kind of understand you know that full process but children. I guess. For them they learn a lot quicker when you are maudlin some think and I am appreciate and that more and more as I don't live with my partner and I'm separate from my daughter's dad and he's got a partner and my daughter is definitely see in the difference in dynamics and when my partner comes round even say things like oh mummy I wish he was here now because then you and I would have more time to play but I know she's also observant how we are together and actually how we are together been quite heavily influenced by how my parents were together and as I said my parents were very romantic and there was no public display of affection and in contrast to that I've become you know very touchy feely I move about the romance However the minute my daughter is in the room I'm pretty stone cold I don't want that physical interaction in front of her but I remember actually I needed to see that as a as a child so it all has an impact doesn't it was pretty key to the conversation. It's one of those not. You did say it is really well there's no it's over for. Good. And. You have. An OK value that will make a start talking to let you know depression is Kobe is like a knife he says really. A fictional We just told that Iris come from babies come from they just like to present to flatten the 70 or $97.00 he said but the woman I wanted babyhood like nightmares like that was like How old were you then 7 years old 7 years do you know any 67 I may tell you without warning. To get in the sand they just say good bye result one time is for ages without a film no. Ground is a big film and the film. Will not have an if I report on yeah yeah what did you. Do you have nightmares it's going to get members going in your mind when he's on. You know like to be like OK if. He seems like I. Can't be like this like the kid he see it seemed like a time before and because the push you know that sort of thing would you rather your parents had told you that. Robin's go and they said is only to name a thing about well you know boys doesn't do they know something is owed you know but didn't the boys also this question Is it isn't because you are definitely definitely my youngest. By 7 had asked me how babies get out so that and I was a boy yeah. They only that they've all asked that question how does the baby and very young age you know I don't remember asking that question in stores. Right 9967 knowing you know. You see. Compared to the ARI. Showed us how babies are made through some cross-section diagram so I didn't know which way out was the right way so that I think at least you got closer to the reality is is it appropriate do you think the for schools to be telling kids is. My Be well I can go and I make sweet 16 which you are unwilling to get more safely which was like and you know. What would you think if there's one thing that you wish your parens had told you. But I didn't know you were will that one thing mean. That like 10 days I'll keep going mom was like telling their Salvation Army. Bell a preacher I mean and then. Sourcing going in. There and I can see 7 all in 1979 like 10 years old. Who never one of the boys raised it didn't know his name is probably price. Ended up appearing close. Visually seen and you know not film. This is made doesn't. It Mr Doesn't told us next day and we're. Always in close yeah yeah case well that's just one of those things I guess course Mendham Q magine Wilkins who's 71 and you're being told is going soft and yeah I think that's quite shocking I do think that's quite shocking at 7 years old to walk into assembly and be shy and not ask the player you. Definitely know age appropriate and I had to set. But put up but they do want to know kids do you want to know this class touched on there are a wealth of books out that to help parents with what happens with things like what happens 3 P.C. Or what happens with having a baby that kind of thing and it can actually really help in a conversation and have kids going to read books about ovaries when they've got a good experience so guardians or school teaches you can is pretty clear on its feet because. It helps to a conversation and helps to keep age appropriate Well yeah and if they don't have parents don't know you don't. Know how to do it had to answer those questions just because your parents yeah but. Thanks to book No I think it has been a really good. Channel for us starting conversations and I remember myself my mom had this book I think it was called the pregnancy birth and it was a N.H.S. Hospital book and it was family explicit I saw a baby yeah now a woman and it was like my face. Look what the reason why I'm just wondering is because a parent a guardian even a teacher or even an teacher knows how to judge this conversation did you know the same. Thing I said you know I think I think I'm quite good but I've been cool off God I was also just someone you hear stories about 7 year old children going into assembly and watching a pair thing video hours of the play. That was not so the right way to do it these. Days your cow on expect every adult to be able to judge it when you have the book the book has to be as explicit as going into not because it cardstock halfway you as a parent can look at your child and say OK you 7 years or so military this prayer I'm going to build it up gently that's where you have the whole notion of the birds in the bees and you get to later stage where it's OK it's not birds and bees it's men or women or men and men women and women and what you want to say and then you can explain it gradually gently but you can do that with the help of the book yes cause you can book yeah you can. It's a nice nice the way and often want to play them but want to have problems of songs saying songs or poets at work songs or a book to book I'd tell you why because you can add a finish and Shuster book well if you're listening to it on the radio you have no control of that yes you can switch Oh. Off but often the damage is already done. There are certain songs that can be incredibly dangerous that I've got very upset a very specially when my daughter was Estoril and singing songs that she'd hit on the radio. For example blood lines and hair it was just a pup song and I was horrified and she already knew the words and and it was already out there you don't get that with a book yeah but then that said I remember listening to Color Me Badd. OK thanks for doing that one me I can't sing at this time in the morning but actually I never thought about the words maybe that was just me I've never actually been good with words and songs but I never actually contextualize the song. So some people push it I was pushing it all around the living room but I did not know exactly what I was doing and I didn't know what context I was pushing and you know that brings to mind another issue and. Contemporarily there are for example all sorts of. Dance moves that kids. Some of would be quite horrifying to people of a certain generation because you would say that there were quite explicit. Now you see young people boys and girls dancing in these ways so would you do when you think well actually it's to certain extent can be regarded as something of inappropriate for younger people to be daunting in that way this is a really really interesting one because actually color. Thoughts 1st of all because she's smiling in this way. I agree I actually agree that there are some downs maids that I see kids doing and I just horrified by I think that there are certain. Things that they do and they and the reason that I'm horrified is because they have no a clue what they. Originally manned and certainly as an adult watching it you can't separate it from what I meant and I think it's terroristic some of them are perfectly innocent and some of them are just or full but they may be all full but if you intervene you're making something that was unnecessary This is a way as you talk about going around pushing it will rob a living room and it's an innocent young person citizen to older person remark. You know intervening in supposing. For 2 innocent Well I don't I see I'm I'm kind of I have had the privilege of meeting. For who has the Don studio and join a conversation with her she said that it's actually adults who sexualize physical movement it's not children and actually Johnson is just a way of expressing yourself certain cultures have very you know role the kind of sensual movements but actually that's just the natural rhythm of life it's us as adults who put the script on it. So what. Can. I well actually I did loud to get on with it if it was. Another child like that or not I don't like that then we'd have a bit of a conversation but if she starts Manhasset that final issue. OK I will come on. Board because I'm coming up to 3 o'clock Meryl. Streep. Not half an hour this conversation to go to the center come surgery is about. To be children about the birds and bees and well gee whiz your parents said she had very good. 16 years in the past my school was a C B C 5 my age through called Good morning this is awful not on 5 Live I'm Dalton at a bar in a new zone 5 points.

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