attackers. they were armed with high power kalashnikov rifles and suicide vests and they were able to take advantage of confusion after one of them attacked on get another attacker or two into the airport itself and create mayhem and kill a lot of people in that airport. in the last couple hours we've learned that a 42nd victim has succumbed to her injuries. a 22-year-old turkish girl who died in hospital. the latest victim of this horrific attack. the turkish government said they are not at least releasing the identities of these men, suggesting they are foreigners. we don't know any more about them in part because there's very little left of their bodies after the attack. another remarkable thing is the fact this airport is back up and running. within a matter of hours, flights were taking off and landing again. many of the people trawl tiesed by the experience who survived, back at the kioskses and at the cafes in the airport behind me. remarkable considering they just endured a triple suicide bombing. as for the survivors, i caught up with a couple whose honeymoon almost went terribly, terribly wrong. >> steven and anim just got married. >> it was such a beautiful wedding, to be honest. >> she deserves it. >> after a honeymoon in greece and italy, the couple was at a five-hour layover at istanbul's airport on friday night waiting for their flight back home to the u.s. that's when the terrorists attacked. >> i literally ordered the pizza slice. when the guy turned to put the slice in the oven, i heard the gunshots. >> did you recognize that those were gunshots? >> yes. ak-47. automatic rifle. >> what goes through your head at that time? >> that she is hurt. that this is happening. my worst nightmare is haunting us now. >> he said he saw a man with a gun shooting in the departures hall. >> what did he look like? >> i was in tunnel vision, so i'm not sure if he was the actual gunman or the caps firing at him, but there is a gun and bullets coming from it. i could see the echos and all that from the gun. >> the terrified couple ran and hid in this little kitchen which steven filmed on his phone. through the door, they heard chaos outside. >> we heard people yelling. >> stop, stop. i was like, this looks like somebody is killing somebody else. >> this is one of the victims wounded screaming. >> steven didn't know whether or not the gunmen were still in the airport, on the hunt for more victims. >> at that point i said, i'm going to make a video to tell our story. we're most likely going to die here. [ whispering ]. >> speaking in his family's native arabic, he tell them to pray for him. >> i remember, i told him, that's it. this is our last seconds of our life. we're going to die right here. >> this is the moment that i realized i might lose my new family. everything i've trained for. >> but steven said if a militant came through the door, he was not going to go down without a fight. >> i was going to kill him. this is it. this is my new wife. >> 45 minutes later this terrified couple eventually emerged. to bloody scenes in the airport. >> i want to thank all the turkish first responders, the ambulances, the drivers, the cops. they were protecting us. they were doing their best. a lot of them were bleeding. >> an ambulance rushed her to a hospital. she is recovering from bruises suffered after being trampled by paneked people fleeing the gunman. but dealing with the emotional trauma has barely begun. >> i want to go back to the states. i said i can't want to come back to this country anymore. i don't want to come to the middle east anymore. >> this evening, the couple rushed to catch a flight from another airport hoping to leave this horrible chapter of their honeymoon far behind. >> it is kind of, it is worrying but amazing the attackers were able to get so spread out so quickly to attack multiple spots at this airport. >> yeah. and you have to wonder. we've seen this video of what looks like heroic security guards. one of them shooting one of the attackers who self-detonated on the sidewalk. but to stand up to evidently suicidal men with kalashnikovs who are charging in, that asks an enormous amount of bravery. and what's appalling, i have a hard time wrapping my head around the innocents killed in the attacks. two of the victims in that airport were young turkish women who worked in a fast food restaurant. a 22-year-old and 21-year-old, part time jobs for these two women. one was working there three days a week and studying english at university. they are just two of the 42 people killed and so many hundreds more who are either physically wounded by this or psychically scarred by this horrific act of violence. >> thank you for joining us. our panel this hour. what do you make of these new details we're learning, that these attackers were able to infiltrate in three different areas creating chaos, moving large groups in different directions? how much training do you think goes into something like this? >> i think they had a lot of training. i think we'll find out they had been fighting in iraq or syria. kalashnikovs, suicide vests, making sure the detonators, getting people running was key to the assaults. these people had some sort of training. whether they had dead man switches or not, it is too early to tell. but they had some sort of insurance these bombs would go off because they didn't want their people caught or not to commit suicide. so i think they had a lot of training. >> they had large networks in brussels, the bomb making. it seems hard to imagine that these three did not have similar concentric circles of support. >> i think that's absolutely right. eventually, we'll figure out who they are. three men have gone missing. once we know who they are, then the concentric circles go out to determine, who were they visiting? who is their family? where did they travel? and quickly, they used taxis because they did not want transportation left there. so this is, when you think about how can you secure things better? this is a relatively new tactic. and one that we need to explore to tighten up the transportation of these guys with lots of weaponry to the airports. >> do we know enough about isis to know how this is set up? how it is organized? >> well, they'll have surveiled the airport well enough knowing the soft points and the security the. chances are if they were foreign fighters, they may have at one point land the at that airport. gone through the security protocol many times themselves. watching these images, i recall the last time i was walking through that arrivals terminal. it is very familiar to me. i afraid with bob. if they were trained in iraq, they know how to wield a weapon. they were given this indoctrination that says the worst they know that happens to you is you will get taken alive. this is a martyrdom operation. your reward will come in the afterlife. >> is there a branch in isis that specifically deals with this? or sort of an individual is tasked with recruiting people? >> well, there are several guys. when you join, and you enter into the recruitment pool. literally they ask by a show of hands, how many of you want to become the martyrs. those who raise their hands, they're taken off and given a separate training. you have to psychologically prepare someone for facing imminent want. when paris happened, we were wondering, whether one person chickened out or his device didn't work. the worst thing is where you have that situation, he doesn't blow himself up and take out a number of civilians and then somewhere down the line he gets snatched by security services. he will give up information under interrogation, under torture in some circumstances. they don't want that to happen. you can retro engineer these networks. and i agree 100% with juliet. there is no way there were only three guys involved. the bomb maker is still out this and turkey has a vast network. >> we saw that in the paris and brussels attacks. similar networks, same people involved in many cases in materials of organizing. and the bomb maker is important. they could be military detonators. the point is this is as tone. very unstable. getting it to the site of the attack is very tricky. you have to keep it cold and the rest of it. so these guys had some practice. if you try to get on the internet and try to make this, you will probably blow yourself up. you need practice. a master bomb maker. it could have been a situation where they have a command detonator. when the guy gets shot, somebody out there is watching and can detonate his vest. always possibility. we'll to have wait for the turks to tell us. >> we've also seen attacks. mumbai, there was a central commander giving instructions. if memory serves me, phone calls were being made or text messages were being sent directing. it doesn't seal like in this case, it happened over 15 minutes or so. so it doesn't seem like there was someone centrally coordinating. it seems like plans were put into place. >> these stories unfold. the facts get unearthed. one the identities are known. then the network is unmask asked then we can figure out, is there a master mind? is this directed? where were they trained? and who else knew? which is the most important they know to make sure that you get in that work, on the bomb maker side. if this is a bomb maker out there, chances are he hand retired. he's successful at it. you want to get that net boring down as fast as possible. >> are they in istanbul planning something else. are there changes for american airports and even things possible to make it harder to hit. ♪but i'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no no,♪ ♪not gonna let 'em catch the midnight rider,♪ ♪yeaaahh... ♪but i'm not gonna let 'em catch me nooo♪ ♪not gonna let 'em catch the midnight riiiiiiiideer!♪ ♪ [ tires screech ] flo: [ ghost voice ] oooo! [ laughs ] jaaaaamie, the name your price tool can show you coverage options to fit your budget. tell me something i don't know -- oh-- ohhh! ahh! this is probably more of a breakroom activity. ya think? ♪ amazing sleep stays with you all day and all night. sleep number beds with sleepiq technology give you the knowledge to adjust for the best sleep ever. don't miss the lowest prices of the season going on now, with our best-buy rated c2 queen mattress now only $699.99. know better sleep. only at a sleep number store. ataturk airport is by all accounts one of the most heavily secured in the world. the attackers took that into account, finding soft spots. it raises the question, should airport security begin at curbside or even farther out than that. renee marsh investigates. >> reporter: the threat to so-called soft target areas at airports make the long wait times scene across the country not only an invent but a security concern. following the istanbul attack, some u.s. airports have ramped up security at their perimeters. in new york and new jersey, officers are equipped with tactical weapons. in miami and atlanta, there is an increased police presence. in the u.s., the department of homeland security is responsible for airport security check points. cnn has learned the agency has discussed options to extend its security breach. the idea is widening the security presence that could begin at the entrance or even the parking lot. but former dhs official juliet said that wouldn't be effective. >> certainly you could extend the security 10 miles away from an airport. and guess what? the vulnerability will be at mile 10.1. so at some stage, we just have to accept a level of vulnerability, given the threat that we have today. >> because istanbul's airport has several flights to and from the united states, dhs requires strict screening procedures, comparable to u.s. standards. the head of the tsa told cnn in may, if they are not followed, night could be prohibited. >> if we have a reason of concern, it can be as frequently as every week. if you have a reason that you trust, it can be less frequent than that. >> regardless of the standard and police presence, it is kwobl to eliminate all airport vulnerabilities. renee marsh, cnn, washington. >> back with the panel, when you see people talking about extending the perimeter. i mean, at a certain point, this is plenty of soft targets. you can never secure all these places. >> there is a common problem every time we see one of these incidents. as you take an isolated circumstance, why can't you make a soft target hard? let's multiply that out by a thousand times. what have we seen in 1915 years? transport. subways, buses. every time you take the metro, a subway, an uber, a taxi, a private vehicle to an airport, a subway or a train in san francisco with b.a.r.t., in washington with the metro, in new york with the subway. multimy out what happened in istanbul to all those facilities. and then ask one other question. two months ago we were talking about tsa hines. two months from now, we talk about tsa lines. do you want safety or freedom to move? you have a chase to make. >> even in the mumbai attack, they put bombs in taxis. sent out the taxis that then exploded in different parts of the city that allowed them to get throughout the area. >> soft targets are the soft because they are welcoming to the public and the public wants them to be welcoming. as we go visit family and friends. instead of thinking a sim solution, we have to look at the issue overall. engage the public as we try to do. and then just realize that part of the balancing that phil is talking about is the acceptance of that level of vulnerability because of the benefits of flow, travel, concerts, whatever we think about it. we can call it later security but it is hook at the entire environment. and airports are not hard. we have an expectation as travelers to have flow through the airport. >> and it sounds like where you have a bottleneck, you have a the lot of people. any time people gather, that is, on you know, a potential risk. >> the problem is it is not just airports. let's say we can harden airports. but they go to a basketball game in a small town with a small police forceful they don't even have the weaponry to take on isis assaulters. in istanbul, the police did the right thing. they inserted themselves into the incident. they kept down casualties. that's an experienced counter terrorism force. what do you do about small town usa? these people are perfectly capable. >> we've seen a lot of places, not only in after shooter drills burg multiple targets with multiple locations. when donald trump talked about waterboarding as a way basically to do something about terrorism, as somebody who worked with the fbi and the cia, what do you do? >> i bristle. in this political season let's have a reality check. in 2002 the department of justice authorized waterboarding and nine other procedures we called interrogation techniques. the white house was aware. the senate was briefed. 15 years later a president says that's torture. a department of justice says we won't do it the senate issues a report that says you violated american values. if any president, democrat or republican, wants to return to waterboarding i have a couple questions. number one, you'd better find a cia officer who will do it. i don't know any. number two, i do not know any. not because they think what we did was wrong but because there ain't no learning the second kick of the mule. number two. you'd better find an attorney general who will once again after one president called this torture determine that it is legal and then go tell the american people, we're going to try it while the cia says we ain't doing it. >> what do you think of it? >> it is still in dispute where it works. you have the senate saying it doesn't work. you have psychologists saying it doesn't work. people i know said it did. we haven't come to a realization yet. they said it worked. we're not there yet and it is something we have to deal with objectively. at the end of the day, this won't stop terrorism. getting inside a compartmented cell like the one that attacked istanbul is virtually impossible. it doesn't matter what kind of pressure you put on people. >> just ahead, they haven't claimed responsibility. all signs point to isis. will they be focusing more on these attacks now that they're losing ground in the battlefield? 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"credit karma. give yourself some credit." breaking news in the fight against isis. u.s. officials telling us american war planes conducted a strike in a suburb of fallujah in iraq. apparently isis fighters trying to stage a retreat across the desert. more than 250 were killed in the air strike which would make it one of the single deadliest hits against the terror group. cnn is being cautious about talking about the fatalities. it didn't have anything to do with the terror strike in turkey. many feel that battlefield defeats have made targets in other countries more tempting to isis. joining us now, the author of radical. my journey out of islam and extremism. this information about the strike against isis. we've been talking about this. that isis is inferring the loss of fallujah, mosul is now on the list for the cities on try to take back for the iraqi authorities. do you think that is encouraging isis to turn to more attacks like the one in istanbul? >> isis needs to prove that it continues remains capable. and for its followers, it needs to prove that it is still an organization that can effectively target the west and strike in the heart of western and european cities. so i think we are going to continue to see these sorts of attacks. >> what is the key reaction? one visceral reaction is protect harder and softer targets. hit these people harder. when you see an attack like this, and i'm going to feel like we talked to you in the wake of everyone of these attacks. what needs to be done? >> i think there are three areas we need to look at. i will focus on the cultural scare. we've had a lot of securing american airports and what have you. if we look at the reaction of turkey, as a government. the reaction in europe and the reaction within muslim communities. there are three specific things i would advise we need to look at. and specifically about culture. first of all, as with afghanistan, governments and heads of state have to recognize that we can no longer afford to tolerate the use of jihadists as a foreign policy asset. because there will always be blowback. that's what has happened in turkey in the sense that isis is targeting turkey because they feel that they want to punish the turks for clamping down, shutting down the border and making it more difficult for isis fighters to get across that border into syria. but historically, there was a level of tolerance by the turkish regime or perhaps turning a blind eye. especially to the oil that was smuggled over the border and sold on the black market in turkey. as happened in afghanistan, this policy of turning a blind eye to jihadists for the sake of the foreign policy. in the case of turkey, they wanted to support them against the regime in syria. there needs to be a change of culture there. the second is the consequences on europe. i fear that this attack, attacks in paris ask brussels, are going to further divide europe and further exacerbate the break-up of the european union. it will lead to racism across europe and in fact the immigration flow made a huge roll in the recent debate in the united kingdom and leaving the this european union. this will continue to have an effect. and the third is muslim communities. here is an opportunity for us as muslims to use this attack as a pushback against isis propaganda. here's is a community. isis continues to speak in the name of islam. so there's an opportunity for extremists to be counter extremism activists. to use this to say this organization that claims to speak in your name is killing your brothers and sisters in the name of your own religion and it is high time we began challenging, not just isis. this notion of any form of schram can be imposed anywhere in the world. >> that's one of the things you hear about isis. people who killed in orlando said on the 911 call, the and u.s. the west is killing muslims, bombing muslims. in fact it is isis killing large number of muslims. probably more muslims than anybody else. >> yes. so this false narrative they have used. we know in the u.s., congressmen and women can be muslims. swear even their oath of allegiance on the koran. we know in the united kingdom, we have a muslim mayor of london. this propaganda is at war. more muslims have been killed by al qaeda and isis terrorist attacks than anyone else has killed them. so that's what we have to focus on within muslim communities. and i think as you know, a lot more can be done in that regard. to push back against isis propaganda and specifically, the ideology that underpins propaganda. >> go i appreciate you being on. hillary clinton and trump's responses to this haste attack. as we mentioned, a bit different. this is not the first time they've had to craft a response sadly to deadly terror attacks during their campaigns. we'll take a closer look at the tone of each and the message they sent, next. esurance does insurance a smarter way, which saves money. like bundling home and auto coverage, which 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time they have differed deeply on the subject. >> november 13, 2015. paris is under siege. 130 people killed. many hundreds more wounded. as news of the carnage starts to break in the u.s., this tweet from donald trump. long before isis would claim responsibility. they laughed at me when i said to bomb the isis controlled oil fields. now they are not laughing and doing what i say. 30 minutes later, this from hillary clinton. the reports from paris are harrowing. praying for the city and families of the victims. the stark contrast in political style now a hallmark of the presidential race. december 2, 2015. san bernardino, california. 14 people are gunned down at the inland regional center. the attackers, a husband and wife, later killed in a shoot-out with law enforcement. hillary clinton didn't speak about it until the next day. >> i know that everyone from the fbi to local police are doing everything they can to find answers. >> trump, relatively measured in the initial aftermath of the attack, until this. >> donald j. trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of muslims entering the united states until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on. >> may 19 of this year, egyptair flight 804 crashes into the mediterranean ocean. all 66 on board perish. terrorism is suspected almost immediately. >> it does appear that it was an act of terrorism. exactly how, of course the investigation will have to determine. >> trump, far more emphatic about terrorism, causing the crash. >> what just happened about 12 hours ago? a plane got blown out of sky. if anybody thinks wasn't blown out of the sky, you're 100% wrong, folks. okay? >> emfat everything but maybe wrong. now five weeks after the plane went down, investigators are still investigating the cause and the very real possibility mechanical failure or other issues beyond terrorism might be to blame for the tragedy. june 12, a gunman massacres 49 at the pulse nightclub in orlando. later that day, trump echos his call for a ban on muslims. tweeting what has happened in orlando is just the beginning. our leadership is weak and ineffective. i called and it asked for the ban. must be tough. but the ban would have made no difference because it was soon learned the shooter was a u.s. citizen, born and raised in america. this was hillary clinton's response to the orlando shooting. this is a time to stand together and resolve to do everything we can to defend our communities and country. yesterday, they have suicide bombers killed scores in turkey. hillary clinton issues a statement, promising to deepen our cooperation with allies. trump has another idea. >> they said what do you think about waterboarding? i said i like it a lot. i don't think it is tough enough. >> cnn, new york. >> let's talk about this with the panel. kelly macanenny, christine flynn and patrick healy. it is, patrick, interesting to see the two different styles, when you juxtapose them like that. i don't know if it is fair to say that. donald trump is speaking more immediately and in a visceral way that appeals to a lot of people. and hillary clinton more measured and political in her response. one, speaking to the heart. the other to the head, i guess you could say. >> i think you're right. one thing the clinton folks are worried about and have been for quite a while. they were worried about it with bernie sanders and with donald trump. the mood of the country, the desire for real action, big statements, even if there aren't a lot of details to back it up. it is so strong right now that it may swamp the measured, what democrats are measured, thoughtful, detailed responses. her saying we need to work with nato. we need on work with our allies. a lot of americans are feeling like germany and turkey and belgium aren't going to keep america safer. it is america that has to take that responsibility. and donald trump has an appeal that goes so directly. >> you look at the latest quinnipiac poll. 52% think donald trump would be better at defeating isis compared to 29% for clinton. >> when you hear what donald trump is saying, it is to me terrifying. for someone who wants to be president of the united states, i think waterboarding is great. i like waterboarding. it is not tough enough. a practice that has clearly been labeled by everyone as inhumane torture. that's not what we're about. i understand the concern that secretary clinton sometimes may seem too measured. i saw a lot of compassion and empathy and concern in her statements. but we're talking about international terror here. at home and abroad. what we need to keep us not just safe as a country but united and not in a state of panic as a country. which is incredibly important. as somebody who will be thoughtful. who isn't going to make pronouncements that something is terror when they don't know if it was. when people will shoot off at the hip that the answer is to block an entire religion. so i actually, whatever the polls show now, terror is a tragically growing and terrifying thing in this world. and that i know americans hear more of donald trump's bombastic racist inhumane, and in this case, really terror based ideas. they're going to know hillary is the right person. >> okay. that's clearly what the clinton people are hoping for. but the polls don't seem to be bearing that out. >> right. i think americans really want to see strength right now. you look at this administration. i think they've sent a mixed message. on the one hand you have obama coming out after the orlando attacks. basically accelerating the haste of the refugee program. this was days after the attacks. then you have the cia saying isis is trying to infiltrate the united states. part of that is through refugee program. today you see obama saying, isis has lost territory. yes, that is true. they have lost territory. but they haven't lost strength. this is a warning to the united states saying they're trying to come here. you see this mixed bag of goos. people are saying it's enough. it's time to be strong. >> these situations are complex. it is not always so clear cut to be able to say, you know, waterboarding is the solution here. >> but there is one undeniable fact. that terror is linked to our immigration policies. you have ted cruz who mined the justice department date and found 380 of the 580 terror convictions since 9/11 were people foreign born. so this is linked to immigration. it needs to change and donald trump is right. >> but right after the -- >> hang on. after the attack on pulse, which is tragic, and committed by an american. when that was happening, what donald trump did was double down on his muslim ban which clearly i find repulsive as a policy. but worse than that, worse than that he put it out as if it would have been a solution that would have prevented orlando. when you're a leader, worse than giving people no hope is giving them false hope. people have -- >> but the thing with the clinton campaign is they're kind of putting a really big bet, and i understand why they're making it organization donald trump's temperament sinking him. the reality is like it or not, the next four and a half months, his handlers, his people seem to be sculpting him a new candidate. i think we'll see at the republican convention. we'll see that it is a repranlding for donald trump trying to put this forward. may be he'll tee off at those debates and the chins had been able to run ads here, there and everywhere. ultimately, if he continues to different use the argument and he is playing to that emotional chord that americans react to. you could see another brexit. >> if the clinton -- if the trump campaign takes that away as an issue, takes away the temperament thing by sort of developing a more traditional campaign, having him do more teleprompter speeches, it does take away a big weapon from hillary clinton. >> it does. it would completely destabilize the center piece of her campaign. one thing he did after the talks. he said we need to talk with the nra about making sure people on the terror watch list don't get guns. and yes, immigration was not at play with the orlando attacks. it was in play with san bernardino. he was willing to look at guns and the democrats aren't willing to look at immigration. >> waterboarding is not a softer, gentler donald trump. that does not that he to what pat said at all. the evidence is not that donald trump can be the new donald trump we talk about constantly. he called for more than waterboarding. >> just ahead, more than two weeks since the terror attack at a gay nightclub in orlando. 49 people killed. dozens more wounded. the officers first on the scene say they're haunted by what they saw. we'll hear from some of them after this break. rma. what the??? you're welcome. i just helped you dodge a bullet. but i was just checking my... shhh... don't you know that checking your credit score lowers it! just be cool. actually, 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[dings bell] just like here. anybody got a pack... that needs leadin'? serving all your motorcycle insurance needs. now, that's progressive. terror struck the airport yesterday less than three weeks after a gunman who declared allegiance to isis killed 49 people at a gay nightclub in orlando. dozens more were wounded of course in that attack. the club was packed when the killer opened fire. the first responders came into what looked like a war zone. and some are still struggling with the carnage they witnessed. cnn polo sandoval reports. >> we all looked at each other. we said there is no way we're leaving. these people need our help inside there. >> reporter: officer james highland rushed into the pulse nightclub moments after the first shots rang out. >> the one word i would describe is chaos. it was hectic. sort of trying to process what was going on while responding there and trying to figure out what i'm going into it. >> reporter: what was the first thing you did when you pulled up to the scene? >> i parked my truck out on the roadway, and i could see the offduty officer out there that initially called for help. >> reporter: the harrowing video from the scene shows officer highland helping load the wounded on to his truck. he quickly used it as an improvised ambulance to get victims to the hospital. >> i was inside the club. and that's when i started pulling some of the wounded out. i would pull one out, come outside, pull another one out. and it got to a point where i suffered muscle failure. my legs just gave out as i got the last one out to the car. and i remember one of my friends, he grabbed ahold of me and he said take a break. because i literally when i was dragging one of the wounded out, i fell back on my back. >> reporter: highland has recovered from the physical stress, but it's the wounds that you can't see that he still struggles with. although he has seen combat and carnage before as an army military police officer, to see images of bodies scattered on a dance floor that still haunts him today. >> it's in your own backyard. you know you're, not going to the fight. the fight has been brought to you. >> reporter: josh granada and carlos are also trying to process the events of june 12th. >> i never thought i would see anything like that. i could tell you for the rest of my career i don't think i'll ever see anything like that again. we've dealt with so much at one time that how can anything compare. >> reporter: they remember being the first medics on the scene. >> when we grabbed that first person, we took them to the hospital, we told the hospital, i think we're going to be back with a bunch more. and that's when we went back. like normally it would take us 20, 30 minutes to turn around, clean everything up. in this situation we knew there was lot more people. so we put everything back and went. >> reporter: how many people did you transport with your vehicle that day? >> 13. >> 13 total. >> we made four trips back and forth and took 13 people. >> reporter: these two have been riding together for six year. he even trained granada in medics school. but nothing could have prepared them for this. >> the worst mass shooting in u.s. history, and we were right there. it's all i could think about for the entire week. i couldn't get back to my normal routine. it was the first thing i thought of when i woke up and the last thing i thought before i went to sleep. if i woke up in the middle of the night, that's what i was thinking of. it was just really, really strange to have nothing else going on in your head other than this horrific act. >> reporter: the nightmare may not be over for tavares, granada and the rest of the pulse first responders. the tendency to second guess their actions the night of the shooting can delay the process of moving on. >> have i questioned myself. i said what if i could have done this, what if i could have done that. and that's the worst thing. and i say you're your own worst enemy in situation likes that. >> reporter: back in the heart of orlando, signs of a scarred city starting to heal for the men and women who answered the call for help, that healing may only come with time. and so what is that key to coping with this incident? according to the fire chief in orange county, florida. they tell us really it's all about talking about what they experienced here. and that is key to law enforcement personnel and also the firefighters to actually reflect and to discuss what they experienced in that nightclub almost three weeks ago, anderson. because clearly this is one of the main struggles for the law enforcement officers and the firefighters. many times that means sharing really some of their feelings with the people that they spend the most time with. not their families, but the people that they work with every day, anderson. >> i wish them the best. polo sandoval, thank you. we'll be right back. that does it for us, "cnn newsroom" starts now. good morning. i'm hala gorani. we are live at istanbul's international airport with the very latest this morning on the investigation into the triple suicide bombing terror attack here. >> and good morning from london. i'm john vause outside parliament, where politicians are scrambling to figure out who among them will lead the country out of the eu. >> and i'm amara walker in los angeles with details about ongoing air strikes aimed at isis militants. we want to welcome our viewers in the united states and around the world. this is cnn.

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