To replace bobby jindal as governor. On the the republican side, weve got senator david vitter and on the democratic side state representative John Bel Edwards, two candidates who have a lot in common, with one major difference. The choice for governor couldnt be more clear. John bel edwards, who answered our countrys call and served as a ranger in the 82nd airborne division, or david vitter, who answered a prostitutes call minutes after he skipped a vote honoring 28 soldiers who gave their lives in confidence of our freedom. Trevor now, now, come on people. Thats just good manners. laughter what was he supposed to do, take the prostitutes call during the votes . He couldnt do that. Hey, could everybody shut up for a moment . Shut up about the soldiers. Im talk to my prostitute. Sorry, candice, you were saying. He had to chinese one. But if youre familiar at all about david vitter you probably know him as the family values conservative who in 2007 was revealed to be a client of the d. C. Madam, not to be confused with the d. C. Madman, the eccentric 19th century scientist known for attacking the white house with a cat cannon. laughter now, even though this prostitution scandal happened nearly a decade ago, edwards, his challenger has made it a focal point in this race causing vitter to launch this counter attack. This was last thursdays familys issue governors debate, one podium empty because John Bel Edwards never showed up. News reports exposed edwards skipped the debate and went to a risque new orleans club. Edwards advertised for voters to join him at the strip joint for free drinks and then hauled them on a party bus for early voting. laughter . Trevor wow. He invited his supporters to a strip club and then a party bus . That sounds like the tamest thing that has ever happened in the city of new orleans. laughter im pretty sure party bus outside a strip club is actually louisianas official state seal. laughter thats standard. Now, apparently, vitter thinks that this party bus is his ticket to victory because he brought it up at the debates on monday. Unfortunately for him, it backfired. He paid for that Purple Party Bus last thursday in new orleans. John bel edwards hosted voters, gave them free drinks at a very adult new orleans nightclub. I was at that place in new orleans with my wife. With my wife. And i gave a i gave an interview on the radio. Not as interesting as your date night, senator. Audience oooh trevor oooh that comeback was like a brothel. Vitter walked right into it. cheers and applause it turns out that John Bel Edwards doesnt even need an opening to bring up the prostitution scanned, even when vitter tried to get him on his state Business Association rating, edwards still brought up prostitution. John bel has a lifetime rating from that organization of 27 . When i went to school, that wasnt just an f. I thought you got more points for putting your name on the test. I give 100 to my wife. Thats who i give 100 to. Senator, you ought to try. Trevor you gotta admit, guys, that is a skill. There is no subject that edwards cant steer back towards prostitutes. Sure, maybe im soft on crime, but you know who im hard on . My wife. cheers and applause everything you throw at this guy, i bet even in a debate if the moderator was like, john bel, are you worried you might slide in the polls . Ill tell you what wont be sliding, my penis into a prostitute. applause okay, all right, all right, okay, guys. I think weve had enough fun. Its time for us to get a little bit more serious. Syria. Now, the whole issue of whether or not to let Syrian Refugees into the United States is a balancing act between moral responsibility and the risk of increased threats. Its hard to get a handle on the whole situation. And luckily, republican president ial candidate Mike Huckabee has been trying his best to explain this issue in a way that everyone can understand. Youre going to have tens of thousands of people coming here from the middle east. You have no idea who they are. Theres no way to check them. Let me ask this if you bought a fivepound bag of peanuts and you knew in the fivepound bag of peanuts there were about 10 peanuts that were deadly poisonous, would you feed them to your kid . laughter . Trevor well, it depends how bleep are your kids. applause . cheers because if theyre the kind of people who compare suffering refugees to tainted peanuts, then maybe. laughter cheers and applause i understand your position is that the possibility of a few dangerous refugees means that we shouldnt admit any of them in, but, you know, maybe you could try expressing that thought in a lesscallous way. Does it make any sense that we would say, well, were going to bring in tens of thousands of people. We have no idea who they are. When chipotle had an outbreak of e. Coli just recently, what did they do . They closed all the chipotle restaurants. I mean, how many gallons of tainted milk do we tolerate before we say, take it off the shelves in . Trevor actually, you know what . Go back to peanuts. That was better. Clearly, Mike Huckabee doesnt want Syrian Refugees coming to america, but as a president ial candidate he needs a plan for the middle east unless he was going to abandon the region. I dont think we can abandon the region for the simple reason it doesnt get better with age. This isnt cheese. This isnt beef. Its not wine. This is terrorism. Trevor that is the worst end to a taste test ever. laughter this is not cheese. This is not beef. Its not wine. Its terrorism aahhh aaahhh applause now, is it just me or is Mike Huckabee always bringing everything back to food . I mean, just look at the syrians. Hes compared them to peanuts, chipotle, milk, cheese, beef, and wine. And thats just the appetizer. Once you notice it, you start to see it everywhere. Whatever the topic is, Mike Huckabee always brings up food. For instance, social security. Theyre always going to say were going to fix this one day. No, theyre not. Its like a 400pound man saying im going to go on a diet but im eating a sack of krispy kreme before i do. A sack of Krispy Kremes . Is that even awe thing. Im just picturing huckabee standing there, id like a small coffee and one sask Krispy Kremes. Sorry, sir, we dont sell them by sacks. Its okay, i brought my own. How about the crowded field of g. O. P. Candidates . Republicans have a whole buffet. I mean, we are the golden coral corcorral of politics. Trevor republicans are the Golden Corral buffet. What does that even mean . Whatever you choose, its all going to make you sick . What does that mean . cheers and applause what about n. S. A. Surveillance . The n. S. A. Is collecting enormous amounts of metadata on all of us. They can know who i talked to last thursday when i ordered pizza and what i wanted on it. laughter trevor now what are you putting on your pizza that you dont want the n. S. A. To know about . Hi, i can have an extra large pizza with womens panties on top . Actually, actually, can you hide the panties in the cheese . laughter really, once you look at it, Mike Huckabees entire take on politics is food based. Politics is like opening a Baskin Robbins store. If youre going to have should sausage, you have to kill some pigs. I wish i could have had some meat i could put in the meat locker. We better wake up and smell the falafel. The popeyes chicken in terminal b. I cut myself making salads. President obama got rolled like a california sushi. Trevor that is so many fool of food metaphors, its too much. Does anyone have a sack of imodium . Well be right back. This is too much, too much. How do you say breakfast in korean . Google voice response achim sigsa. How long does milk last . Google voice; one week after the sellby date. How much vitamin c is. Is in an orange . Set timer for twelve minutes. Google voice ok, twelve minutes. Where can we find donuts around here . Coffee . What about crepes . How about a bagel . What is the most important meal of the day . Google voice breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Comment vous allez lappeler . Je ne sais pas. Stella. Named after a star. Crafted as a holiday gift. Stella artois . For the city of leuven in belgium. Theres share with. Rather. No one id rather have dinner and a movie with. No one id rather lean on. Being in love is an amazing thing. Being in love with your best friend. Is everything. Introducing the ever us twostone ring. One diamond for your best friend. One for your true love. For the one woman in your life whos both. Ever us. New this holiday at kay, jared and zales. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome back. Voting is a sacred right, but is it . Just think how much easier it would be if those in power could make decisions for all of us. Hasan minhaj reports on one groups attempt to make this dream a reality. Democracys cool and all, but if youre a business owner, sometimes you need to make democracy work for you. So when one group of property easterns in colombia, missouri, needed to beautify their commercial strip they created a special district called a c. I. D. , so they could levy a sales tax. Local reporter kaitlyn campbell. Their intent was to bring in 300,000 annually to install sidewalks, plant flowers. Before they could plant the flowers they had to clear one hurdle. The way state law is written, the vote for that sales tax would go to the people. I think theyre going to put a tax increase to vote . They know its never going to pass . Typically. When they created this district, they left out Residential Properties and people. Thats right. They gerrymandered the district so much, it looked like the bird from duck hunt, because if a voting district has no voters, the power to levy the sales tax reverts back to the property owners. Thats brilliant. A democracy with no voters. Democracy, i think, typically means a vote of the people. No. Any great democracy gives people an equal voice. Sure. In this case, its equal because everybodys voice is zero. laughter so the sales tax passed, and the revenue poured in. The sales tax hasnt passed. It still needs to go to a vote of the people. But they cut it up in such a way that there are no people. When it was time for the sales tax to go to the election, the c. I. D. Discovered there was one voter in the district. What . There is a voter. Her name is jen henderson. The unthinkable, one lone voter. I hope you know what this means . What does it mean . Shes voter zero, i have to eradicate this problem before it spreads. Eradicate . Im not going to kill her. Im not going to do that. You know what im saying. The cotaijion is alive and i gotta go. Ive seen movies like this before. I knew exactly what to do. Citizens of columbia, missouri, this area is contaminated with democracy. There is a registered voter. She is a fullblown demohazard. Hide your kids. Hide your wives. Take shelter. Live in fear. My warning cry seemed it fall on deaf ears. I had to go straight into the hot zone to neutralize the contaminate myself. Whats it like i cant hear you. Whats it like knowing youre a disease . I still cant hear you. bleep . Jen, you are the contaminate. I dont think im a contaminant. Stop lying. I mean, they drew the boundaries to cut out all the residences who would have a vote in this. Reporter and once the c. I. D. Board detected the virus, executive director Kerry Gardner bravely tried to extinguish the problem hendersons right to vote. Gardner was very aggressive in trying to get me to unregister to vote. She showed up at my house, sent me letters, text messages, email. Whats wrong with that. You have a Friendly Neighbor coming down and saying how are you . Its a border line harassment. Thats because youre a millennial and dont know that people actually go to other peoples doors and talk to them. No, i think i know enough about the situation that i think i can make an appropriate vote. Sorry, i think the elite ownership class knows a little bit more about taxation than your average dumb voter. I mean, theyre taxing the lowincome grocery store. So, i mean, theyre taxing necessities and food on the backs of, you know, people like me, low income. Yeah, but theyre going to make it prettier. Let me show you something. Ise c. I. D. Okay . If you unregister your vote, it will go from looking like this to this. Wow, look at that. I dont really see much of a difference. Look, all Kerry Gardner was trying to do was plant a few shrubs. I think the last straw was kerry getting paid onethird of the revenue. What . Yeah, 70 grand, plus full benefits. One out of 3 poor people would pay in sales tax would go to the c. I. D. Director . Oh, bleep . Thats diabolical. Yeah. I get it now. Youre not the disease. Youre the cure. Unfortunately, yeah. She wasnt the virus and outbreak or the infected zombie and 28 days later shes a pregnant lady in children of men. Youre the only one what can stop the c. I. D. Europe the lone voter. Dont you get it, i have to i have to come and what . I have to. Protect me . Yes, i have yes, i will protect you lets go follow me to freedom. We escaped the c. I. D. , so, thankfully, legions of unheard voters now have a hero. The mockingjen. cheers and applause trevor thank you, hasan. Well be right back. Well be right back. cheers and applause the most advanced iphone yet. Get the new iphone 6s at tmobile. The network thats doubled its lte coverage in the past year. 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Take off his shirt take off his shirt oh ah alright, im putting you in charge of the holiday party. vo get rid of cable and upgrade to directv. uniqlos revolutionary thin fabric converts body moisture into heat and retains it. heattech. Super thin, super warm. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome back. My guest tonight is the host and cocreator of Esquire Networks going deep with david rees. If i get punched in the lung, wouldnt my rib cage protect me . Rib cage will protect you, but the ribs are made of bones, so you could easily break a rib. Spleen. What on earth is a spleen . It actually helps regulate blood. It stores blood. It helps with ipflection. If you rupture your spleen it bleeds a lot. Why is internal bleeding such a huge deal . The body is filled with blood anyway. Blood is supposed to be in blood vessels, not outside blood vessels. Oh, i see. That actually makes sense. laughter . Trevor please welcome david rees. cheers and applause trevor thank you very much. Welcome. My pleasure. Thanks for having me. Trevor make america oh, no make america deep again. A close read reveals that message is different from a certain other hat we see in the political landscape. Trevor who wears a hat like this . Proud american men who want to pave the country with golf courses. laughter and a thirdtier television hosts. Whats his name . His name is david rees. Trevor thank you so much for being on the show. Thanks for having me. Trevor thanks for coming. You have probably one of the strangest Television Shows ive ever seen in my life. You basically make a show teaching people to do what they all know how to do. Yes. It is a how to show that teaches you the best way to do the things you think you know how to do. It came out of a book i wrote, how to sharpen pencils. Trevor this is a real book, people. Yeah. It was an indepth examination on the best pencil sharpening techniques. And what i was trying to do with that book was take something we do all the time without really thinking about it and celebrate all the science and history and anthropology and aesthetics that goes into these simple, everyday tasks. Trevor do you know how confusing this is for someone watching the show right now . One person is going, you made a book about sharpening pencils. Right. Trevor someone else is going, what is a pencil . I dont mean to start venting like donald trump, but, i mean that is exactly, that is the point. People need to remember that a pencil is a 500yearold perfectly engineered official and elegant communication tool. Im sorry right . cheers and applause . Trevor my finger works great on the screen. I dontip dont know if agree with you. If you really want to get heat we can actually get into had. Trevor lets not get into this. Okay. Trevor lets get into the fact that you were learning how to get punched. Yeah, exactly. Getting punched is something where you think theres not much you could learn about it. Somebodys fist approaches your body and you just take it. Trevor shouldnt it be elsewhere how to not get punched . We considered that but the network said it would make more Dynamic Television if i actually got punched dget punch. Its a show business decision. Its not a health decision. Trevor well, clearly, because youre getting punched. Right. The point of the show as far as the network is concerned, lets have a middleaged man destroy his body for the pleasure of strangers sitting in the dark. Trevor you know whats funny, that title combined with the title that line coming ont of the title of show going deep makes you think of a very different type of show. A man in a dark room destroying his body is called going deep. Its this is it is a family show. It is it is i want to emphasize, its a family show. Trevor it is a family show. Like, if you think of all these things on such a meticulous level how do you live your life . No, because, i mean, if you can think of different ways to sharpen a pencil or the rye way to get punched or the right way to open a door shake hands like, what is the right way to shake hands . Well, you want to use your hand. You want to engage with the webbing in the interdigital webbing between the thumb and the forefinger. You want to come at an angle and you want that to be the first point of contact. And then it just becomes a struggle for dominance. The first person to close his fingers around the other person has the better chance of having the stronger grip and controlling the interaction. Trevor yeah, but you see, i feel like that thing is the reason people do that. Right. You came in too early. Trevor how do you know the persoperson is not going to do youre thinking every time theres a handshake now you understand, now you understand what were getting at. Trevor this is so stressful. Im getting stressed because i cant figure out your natural impulse is to focus on my hand. But you also remember according to the tenet of civil ides context you need to maintain eye contact. Trevor now its who closed the hand first. Were having fun trevor were having a great time right now. Were having a really great time. cheers and applause . Yeah. Trevor going deep with david rees airs on Esquire Network wednesday nights at 10 00. David rees, everybody. David rees, everybody. cheers and applause tim david rees, everybody. cheers and applause everyone tim pass the queso. Tim, we need to hang out more. Timnado tbone actually, my name is brian. New tostitos rolls chips. Bring the party. Ono offdays, or downtime. Ason. Opportunity is everything you make of it. This winter, take advantage of our seasons best offers on the latest generation of cadillacs. The 2016 cadillac srx. Get this lowmileage lease from around 339 per month, or purchase with 0 apr financing. Im moving out what do you mean . Well, after all a man just needs his car and a wireless plan he can afford. Dear, look at your brother he switched to verizon and hes still here because it cost him so darned much. Relax im switching to sprint. And they have unlimited data starting at 20 bucks a month [applause] if your plan is to fly solo, only sprint gives you starter unlimited data for 20 a month. So you never have to worry about unexpected overages. No credit required. cheers and applause . Trevor thats our show for tonight. Also, please, tune in to Comedy Central for my