Show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon well welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. Happy to be back. Oh, i am as so happy to be back. The texas was beautiful, we had a beautiful time in austin but it is so nice that i really began to feel like i had to come home. laughter and ebola. laughter we have two doctors tonight who have been, theyre down in belgium n the hospital where the two gentleman with ebola is. And they came here tonight. Said hes doing okay and that theyre working hard. And im pretty sure they washed their hands. laughter one thing you really dont expect is two guys to stand up and go oh yeah, so were over with the ebola guy. laughter you see the audience go laughter jon anyway, tonight what do you have there, oh, thats fine. We have for you tonight jake gyllenhaal. cheers and applause the favorite gyllenhaal. So lets begin tonight with tomorrow Midterm Election day. Or as people under 6 a call it, hey, why are all those old people lined up at the elementary school. Its the subject of tonights democalypse 2014. Come on republicans, just go ahead and take over. Recent polls indicate a bad night ahead for the democrats. Well, not bad. Not bad necessarily. What is this, what do you call it when a hard rainfalls and washes away all the republicans . Oh, apparently its their own damn fault. Why would anyone vote for a cem crat democratic candidate. The answer he is motion. They kringt argue on the economy. They cant argue on Foreign Policy. They cant argue on the economy tens of government. They cant argue really on anything. If you are looking for rational arguments about how best to govern, you have to turn to the republicans. Our nations true statesmen laughter the republicans closing arguments can be found in this quite pogent illuminating compendium of their element and unemotional answers. Evil forces want to harm americans radical islamic terrorists are threatening to our country. Every american is at risk. Disease, terrorism. Threats of terrorism, ebola. Terrorism and ebola. Ebola inside the u. S. Vote to keep terrorists off u. S. Soil. Vote republican. laughter all right i thought that was a power of the and cogent essayistic argument. Move over hope and change and welcome vote for us laughter does that happen . laughter you know cheers and applause some might say some might say it takes a lot of balls to say your opponent has no good rational arguments when your best argument appears to be reaching into older voters heads and poking their amygdalas. Amygdala, the fear center. laughter i probably should have just said fear center. laughter then you would probably think to yourself amygdala, that doesnt take into consideration the falmouths role. The point is come on, republicans, you got something balancesier. We would be able to bring the current legislative gridlock to a merciful end. They want two years like the last four years where we just butt heads and butt heads and butt heads. You know, somehow i think no matter what we do were going to get butt heads. laughter but cheers and applause but mitch mcconnell, senator mitch mcconnell, come on, who better to bring the gridlock to a merciful end than the guy who has been blocking the box for six years. Are you trying to get laughter so lets just say the gops message of civic optimism doesnt resonate. Lets say the voters dont take to it. Whats the backup plan. To get republicans to power who will desperately only govern when they have. Voter i. D. Law will be in force. The law could prevent more than 600,000 registered voters in texas from voting in person. More than 400,000 eligible voters would have to travel three hours or more to the nearest Government Office issuing i. D. S. Yes, the party that never met a gun purchase restriction they thought was not onerous wants to make sure no one ever walks to a school and unlaerbs a wanton spray of ballots. Now bear in mind laughter i got my pen back. laughter cheers and applause bear in mind were talking about texas. Deregulation capitol capitol of the solar system. The i imagine to get texas on the voter regulation train they have got to have a pretty serious problem. There have only been two proven cases of voter fraud in the past decade in texas. Since 2002, of the millions of votes passed in texas during that period,. Jon actually 20 million votes, 20 million votes cast and two of them were fraudulent. That is. 1 parts of a million. Or less than how much cockroach we allow in ourio gurt. And our yogurt. applause that happens to be cockroach honey yogurt. Texas is one republican states that centre stronger voter restriction after the Supreme Court got not Voting Rights act. Like North Carolina. Risking its reputation as [bleep] carolina. The new voter law includes a photo i. D. Requirement. A ban on sameday registration. No out of precinct voting, and a reduction in the number of early voting days. Over the last few weeks theres been a flurry of Court Appeals and decisions which first upheld then reversed, then upheld again the new requirements. Thanks for that report. Oh, yes, they upheld, they unheld North Carolina famously indedid seisive court, we find them guilty, not guilty, no we should [bleep] kill him. applause look, the point is far be it from me to question anyones voting. But come on a lot of these laws smell pretty voter suppression. When you look at the kinds of i. D. That can be used in texas, you can use your gun registration but you cannot use your College Voter i. D. That one is pretty easy to explain. Without a gun registration, how do you yeah. The Government Accountability office, nonpartisan research, found that a study of voter i. D. Laws that have actually lowered the turnout in tennessee and kansas two states in minority voters and younger voters. Jon the young and the brown. If only they could find a way to get women on there they would nullify the democrats. Women change their name more often than men when they marry or divorce making it more of a challenge to carry i. D. Or proof of citizenship in their current legal name. There you have it. Onerous laws prevent nonexist ent freund to tilts the election in favor of the rational argument for governance republicans never made all presented with the highest of ideals. One person gets one vote, not two or three or four or five. Its about making sure that we dont have people that are abusing the sacred right of voting. I dont want dead people voting in the state of south carolina. Jon well then maybe we shouldnt schedule elections right after halloween. laughter well be right back everyone you meet theyre jamming in the street all night long all night bud light lime cranbrrrrita fiesta forever really. Its not worth it. No worries. I got this. A 2. 7 gigahertz turbo processor. Kevlar fiber durability. Turbo charge for up to 8 hours of battery in just 15 minutes. Introducing droid turbo by motorola. To us, it means giving you a wide selection of products. The best advice. The best service. And an unbeatable price with our price match guarantee. Expert service. Unbeatable price. Best buy. You know a place if theres a pig on the sign. Or pigtails. Barbecue has a new home cuz wendys has slowcooked pulled pork sauced just how you like it. Served three tasty ways. Now thats better. cheers and applause jon you know, it has been a very long and arduous campaign season. Im feeling with so many memorable moments your mitch mcconnell, silent avantgarde campaign ads, who can forget charlie crist, and of course the ad that started it all. Im joanie ernst, i grew up castrating hogses on an iowa farm. laughter do you had me at castrating. Of course the years most amazing professional race has only gotten amazinglier. My opponent is the last one to talk about Foreign Policy because you embarrass this country and when you went to israel and skinny dipped in the sea of galilee. Jon come on who could forget Staten Island jane when congressman grimm was dipping in lake ciberuous. laughter yeah for the record, grimm denies being maked in galilee and going into tuesday lead polls by 19 points. Just one last of the number counts of in federal fraud and tax indictments. So im taking you under. But as of last night there is an underdog in the race [bleep] 2014 campaign hopeful. I give you last nights debate for connecticut governor. Governor malloy and tom foley were in the studio one of the more interesting discussions was a question. Charles says is a type of female slave or concubine and the name of tom foley. Why have you not changed it . As a registered voter i would like to know more about your stance on the real issue. For instance, why and not one of them game of throne girls there like your serfie or your shea. Now theres a sex slave name i throw on the back of a boston whaler. Look, this foley fella seems like an upstanding gentleman. Im sure he has an explanation. It means a beautiful woman, a beautiful thing. Not that women are things, i means thats not what im not saying women are things. Im not saying i [bleep] no, wait. Why is this so hard. Foley 2014. cheers and applause [bleep] laughter come on, foley come on foley, youre losing them. They already got you some kind of elitist maritime historical monger. Let them know you are a man of the people. Im great enjoyer of the arts and culture. And they are the names of many great paintings in the art world. It doesnt mean a sex slave. Come on, connecticut, dow really want a candidate who doesnt know anything about aqua . I my opponent is so out of touch he sees narrative elements in a rothko. applause of course foley opponent sitting governor of connecticut didnt waste any time suggesting this is all attempt to it is actually named for a particular sex slave. And the man has a daughter, my god. Change your name to of your boat. How is it worse that it is a particular sex toy. I mean look, he named his boat ss i would be fine with that. But you know, you dont kiss and tell. But i think the choice is choice is clear though, tom foley is a snooty, boatowning art hookernaming know it all, not like the down home governor malloy. Sapphire is a type of gemstone and the name of daniel malloys boat. Are you [bleep] kidding me . laughter sapphire . You are awe giving foley for udelay or whatever that name was and you named your boat after the single most common stripper name beside bambi. Nobody even knows what odelisk is but everybody in connecticut knows sapphire. Every day you probably take your yacht, probably sail down to the strip joint by the sea. Sit back, enjoy your lap and watch sapphire and cinnamon do their thing. Well, whoever wins tomorrow im guessing connecticut will be okay because everybody there seems to have a boat. Even the Green Party Candidate is like nobody says nothing about my boat. Says nothing about my boat. Well be right back meat sticks yeeeeesss says nothing about my boat. Well be right back these sticks nooooooooo yyyeeeeessss nnnnnooooooo yesssss nnnnooooooo yesssss snap into a yessss. Snap into a slim jim Wireless Networks are awesome. Theyre big, fast and dependable. And at net10 wireless, we let you tweet text, talk and surf. On those amazing nationwide Networks Without getting locked into a pricey phone contract. Americas best 4g lte networks for half the cost. Thats wireless your way. Unlimited talk, text and data starts at just 40 a month. And now android smartphones start at just 19. 99. They take us to worlds full of heroes and titans. For respawn, building the best teractive entertainment begins with the cloud. This is titanfall, the first multiplayer game built and run on microsoft azure. Empowering gamers around the world to interact in ways they never thought possible. This cloud turns data into excitement. This is the microsoft cloud. Finally, the purple pill,hr the 1 prescribed acid blocking brand, comes without a prescription for frequent heartburn. Get complete protection. Nexium level protection™ [cheering and applause] welcome back. My guest tonight, oh, number one in the country called nightcrawler. The name of my company is Video Production news, a professional news gathering service. Thats how it should be read and said. I also want to go to the next room and meet your kids and the station manager and director and anchor and start developing my own personal relationship. I would like to start meeting them this morning. Will you take me around, introduce me as the owner and president of Video Production news and remind them of some of my many other store ease. Im not done. I also want to stop our discussion, this will save time so when i give you numbers, that is my lowest price and you can be assured i arrived at that number very carefully. Now when i say that i want these things, i mean that i want them. And i dont want to have to ask again. Welcome back to the program jake gyllenhaal. cheers and applause jon whooo yeah first let me say this, you are the number one film in this great country, the greatest country that god has ever given a man, you are number one. Thank you, man, thank you. That was awesome. Jon first of all your performance, after having how many times did you blink . Because it looked to me, are you on screen, i would say a. 117 minutes. I blinked four times. Thats what im saying. And we shot the movie over a month and a half and i didnt blink for the entire time. Four times. The em bodeiment of this character is so complete, it really, like you actually had control over body things that are not controllable. Thats the kind of acting that you were doing. Yes. The zero blink, de niro blinked but not gyllenhaal. There were other things, i was eating a lot of kale. So i wasnt blinking but there were other things that i couldnt control. Oh, does kale . Really, so your film is all night. So your biological clock youre not eating. Youre clearly not blinking. Youre inhabiting this character, it is a guy, they call them stringers, out there shooting these horrific images for local news sources. The guys that go when the union guys are asleep, they go and they collect footage. And the gorrier the footage, the more they get paid. And hes really, you know, hes the type of guy that you feel like would creep you out no matter what. Well, its interesting because the movie is really a success story. Yes. And it really is an alagory where you can put it in any job, any occupation. Extraordinarily successful regardless of what he did. But creepy. Always, always. Always creepy. Yes. But so to do that over by the way im getting very nervous. So good friends of mine, not because of the gas. But friends of mine. Im not eating kale. Are embodying the psycho pathic characters with such total commitment, that i really question like the nighttime we share. Are you saying im a psycho path. I will tell you something. I want to be known as the host of the daily show. And you must do what are you going to, you challenge yourself. You enjoy the physical challenges. Thats what im getting. I try, i fine Different Things that inspire me to create a character. And the main influence for me creating this character was specific and has socio pathic tendencies was you. laughter cheers and applause and you know, weve been getting, i want to you know i have been getting positive response from the movie. It has been very successful. The past weekend. Yeah. And i want to thank you, john. Youre welcome. The film is terrific. You were very good in it really without you i dont think i feel like you carried the writer, the director, the same guy. And in some respects, i dont want well, thank you. I want to say i am trying to put new an incredibly awkward position. The wroiing and directing is phenomenal. It is, it is i was really proud of it. But i do want to say, thank you so much for helping me create this character i cant believe you went back to that joke. Nightcrawler. In the theatres now. Dont blink. What makes thermacare different . Two words it heals. How . With heat. Unlike creams and rubs that mask the pain, thermacare has patented heat cells that penetrate deep to increase circulation and accelerate healing. Lets review heat, plus relief, plus healing, equals thermacare. The proof that it heals is you. Theyre jamming in the street all night long all night bud light lime cranbrrrrita fiesta forever so you can see like right here i can just. You know, check my policy here, add a car, ah speak to customer service, check on a claim. You know, all with the ah, tap of my geico app. Oh, thats so cool. Well, i would disagree with you but, ah, that would make me a liar. No dude, youre on the jumbotron whoa. Ah. Yeah, pretty much walked into that one. Geico anywhere anytime. Just a tap away on the geico app. Jon thats our show, before we go, tomorrow night, tomorrow night our program will be live. We will be bringing you up to the date, up to the minute Election Results as we see them, on other networks. And then well tell you, here it is, your moment of zen. Can you name a commodity or a product that gets worse and worse that produces less and less of what it is supposed to produce yet get more expensive . Maybe you can name one but the only thing i can think of is american p