laughter america asks are we ready for a female president . And other questions that seem insulting and out of touch in 2008. cheers and applause women in the u. S. Are still dealing with the glass ceiling. Just to be clear thats a metaphor for female advancement not some christian grey sex dudgeon. Girls rule, boys drool, and transgender people are free to do whatever they want as long as it rhymes with rule. This is the nightly show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause Larry Larry Larry . Larry thank you wow larry larry thank you thats so nice of you. Welcome to the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. Im feeling so good tonight. Tonight is laundry night. I forgot i forgot something to hold it up. San antonio came through cheers and applause for those of you saying the nightly show, the home game, i apologize for the inside joke. Anyhow, we dont have a lot of time to waste. The National Chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon shutting their university of Oklahoma Chapter after this shock video surfaced appearing to show members using a racist chant. Larry racism doesnt exist anymore, larry. laughter why do you always have to focus on race on your show . Just stop. laughter you first. cheers and applause what was i supposed to do . Seriously, right . Ill stop talking about race when people stop being racist. And quick note to peter capturing racist on their phones, could you please stop shooting vertical videos . You have never heard of aspect ratio wide screen . I want to experience my hate in 16 9 not 2 5, all right. Just saying. I gotta give credit where the credit is due. The university of oklahoma took swift action. The university of oklahoma president david boren has expelled two students related to the racist chant incident. Larry thats right they also kicked the fraternity off campus. So dont worry, you wont be seeing any more of those frat boys until theyre your congressman. laughter applause right. Welcome to america, everybody. Thats how it works. laughter whos supervising these frat pratt anyway . I mean, wasnt there an adult property . Overnight another video has surfaced. This one appears to show the fraternitys 78yearold house mother. Larry oh, thats good. A house mother. Finally, the voice of gentil reason ago oh what is this . What does little angel have to say. Larry man, oklahoma what the bleep is going on there . Seriously shame on you, lady. Youre a frat house mother. You should know better. You have no excuse. In a written statement, gilbow says she is heartbroken by any racist portrayal. She does not tolerate any form of discrimination and she was only singing along to a rap song. Larry oh, oh, really, racist grandma. Thats a song . Well, what song is that . Dont believe me bleep dont believe me just watch laughter applause larry sorry, frat ma, my bad. I guess you can sing it, but maybe not with so much glee. Anyhow, to help give smus more perspective on the s. A. E. Fraternity culture, 1990s oklahoma frat guy dtrain. cheers and applause thanks for joining us, dtrain. Larry, please dont call me dtrain anymore. Im an adult. I work on wall street. Call me dennis. Larry all right. Deep dick dennis. Larry i think ill just go with dennis. Dealers choice bro, dealers shois chois. Larry im assuming you saw the video of your s. A. E. Prghts. I did its stufting. I completely renounce it. You cannot use that word. Larry good, you totally agree. Im with you. I couldnt agree more, that word is racist and offensive. Clearly the song should have been. There be never be a black guy in s. A. E. There will never be a black guy in s. A. E. Larry wait, wait, wait hold on. I dont think you see the point. Oh, god, im so sorry. What do you guys go by now, African American . I got it gr no no, no. Let me try that on for size. There will never be an African American at s. A. E. There will never be an African American at s. A. E. Larry stop it youre totally right the African American thing does not work. It totally screws up the rhythm. Not that i have to tell that you. Larry look the issue here is not the specific word. Its the sentiment that youre excluding minorities. Dude. Dude. Dude. laughter dude. Maybe you dont understand what a frat is, dude. Its not about excluding anybody. Its about including people who are exactly like you. laughter larry that really doesnt make any sense. Because youve never experienced the bonding with your bros, bro. Larry until you get all your friends together on a chilly Easter Sunday and run across a football field for six hours with your thumb up each others asses youll never really understand what brotherhood is about. Larry i two brothers and im a brother. laughter applause i understand brotherhood. Whatever dude, whatever, dude. Larry dtrain, everybody. Enough of that. cheers and applause clearly were not postracial, but are we at least postsexist. Sunday was International Womens day. cheers . Larry yeah, no problem. applause . Larry absolutely. Now, this is when people around the world gaght tore demonstrate in support of womens rights. About 1,000 people came out to march in new york city. Which sounds like a lot, until you consider that last year over 100,000 new yorkers showed up at coney islands annual mermaid parade. Our priorities are definitely in order. Its amazing when you think of all the creative waitz women still get the short end of the stick. Examples do you know how most americans celebrated International Womens day on sunday . Okay, this weekend its time to spring forward as Daylight Saving time arrives. This is your remeernd to set your clocks 60 minutes forward. Larry by losing an hour in the day oh, great. We have 24 hours to talk about womens issues. No you have 23. Start talking now. laughter applause lets go. applause i mean, thats so wrong now one thing people are talking about is Hillary Clintons expected run for president. Im assuming shes not going to make her announcement have a email. Just a hunch. laughter and now if she became president that would be history. Un have there been that many Women Leaders around the world . I havent been keeping up. Mien, there has got to be a second or third ever. Theres been, like, Margaret Thatcher cleopatra, isis, the queen xena warrior princess. laughter did i leave anybody out . applause cheers i know that went fast, but you may not have seen liberia and pakistan had female leaders before the United States . Thats worse than our math scores. Whats going on america . Do we have a problem with female leadership in this country . New data highlights an old problem in big business best described like this. Fewer women run big businesses than men named john. This list shows the most common first names among s p 1500 c. E. O. S. It turns out there are more named john or david than there are women combined. Larry now in all fair tons women there werent any darnells on there, either. laughter applause just saying. Just keeping it 100. Now i know a lot of you are saying, larry why are you making such a big deal about women in power . Because sometimes it feels like were scraping the bottom of the barrel with men. Ladies and gentlemen, i give you idaho state representative vito barbier. An idaho lawmaker got an anatomy lesson. The law would prevent doctors from precybing abortioninduce medicine during a web cam unless they examined the woman in person. Can the same procedure be done in a pregnancy, swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is with the mr. Chairman, and representative it cannot be done in pregnancy simply because when you swallow a pill it would not end up in the vagina. laughter applause larry you know what else is not going to end up in a vagina . Vito barbier. Seriously. cheers and applause this is a man tasked with crafting abortion law in the United States and his entire understanding of the female anatomy seems to be milk, milk, lemonade around the back fudge is made. I can think of no straighter example of why we need more women in position of power. I firmly believe that you should probably know how a vagina works because you can make laws that deal with vaginas. Well be right back. cheers and applause this is smith forge hard cider. Its like emmett, here. Strong. Sturdy. But not too sweet. [ male announcer ] built from apples. Built to refresh. Smith forge hard cider. Oww made strong. Hey. These are good. What have you been feeding us all these years . Kfc popcorn nuggets. 100 white meat, extra crispy, and made from the worlds best chicken. Try our kfc bucket and popcorn nuggets meal. These dont even come with a toy and i dont care. Larry welcome back. Were talking about women in leadership in america. Joining me on the panel tonight, shes the host of fusions Alicia Mendez tonight, and her special report generation crisis airs tomorrow night at 9 00 p. M. On fusion. Alicia mendez. cheers and applause alicia on alecia. Alecia. I get it right right away. And author of keep calm. Its just real estate, and host of hgtvs property virgins, Egypt Sherrod joining us. cheers and applause were happy to have her, comedian Chloe Hilliard is joining us. And his new comedy special contextually inadequate will air on epic april 24 yup comedian jim northon is right here. cheers and applause so were talking about Women Leadership roles. Who puts more haterade out there on the women, the women themselves or men . Who is hating more in this in terms of Holding Women back jaoh thats a deep question. Larry sorry to start off since were keeping it 100 what does it feel like . I think as a whole women, we sometimes can be our own worst enemy. We do tend to throw a lot of haterade on each other. A woman gets up from the table hey girl did you see those shoes . Larry i wouldnt hire her as a c. E. O. Thats a deep question. Ill throw it to you. I think a lot of times a woman doesnt want to support a woman outright because they still want to be respected by men so they want to play on both teams. I have ovariries but can still swing a dick. What a great bumper sticker. Larry i know. I would like to i would like to come to the defense of women though. I dont think this is about women. I dont think this is about men. I think this is about all of us. I think there are cultural expectations we put on men and women about what leadership looks like. And then i also think so women are the ones not in those position. Right, so then you can put that on men that theyve created systems that include things like massive amounts of fundraising you need to do if you want to run for office. The fact that this is a largely familyunfriendly niewgz if you want to run for office. applause . Thank you. Larry even you want to have children. Even if you want to have a marriage. Its simply not penalty for that if all of a sudden your private life is open to public scrutiny. Who wants to be a part of that . Larry i understand. Let me ask you this i voted for obama because hes plaque. I got no problem admitting that. Wow. Larry heres the thing women were asked who if they would vote for another women. Only 20 of republican women and only 69 of Democratic Women said its important to have a female president in their lifetime. Heres the thing,y just want someone who is going to follow through have a little bit of backbone, and i dont care if they are her maf rodiets, quite honestly. Larry you know you know you would be upset if there was a hermaf rodiet president before a woman president pup know you would be upset. Youd be like you got to be bleep me. What do we have to do . You have to come up with a better candidate. I want to see a woman president i really do. But hillary clinton, shes psychotic. What shes psychotic. Why . Here we go. Ill tell you why. But sarah palin is also psychotic. One is liberal and one conservative but theyre both psychotic. Larry sicot oict left. Shealize about being in a war zone. Shes changes her inflection depending on the audience. Just like every other politician. cheers and applause larry she was just code switching there. Even obama obama gets a little bit on his plaquer side when hes goes into the black church. She was like i tonight feel no ing who is that lady . You know what . You gotta give her credit for come, out about those emails. She was honest oops sorry, i made a mistake. Honesty is something i can respect. People make mistakes all the time. What poldition do you know has ever said, youre right. Theyre all liars. Larry all politicians not all women. I just want to clear that pup upon absolutely. I got your back. I was just clearing that up. How much is the superficial . How much do we punish women for just being feminine . Hillary thought she had to be a hawk voting for iraq but now shes running on the womens ticket. We put them in this sort of impossible situation where you have to be Strong Enough that i believe you can be our commander in chief, but you also need to be soft enough they like you. And to applause yes, thank you. And to ask somebody to lay on the perfect nexus of those two qualities . How many of us are succeeding at that. Larry and we always ask those questions. People say, i would have a beer with george bush. People would never say id have a brazilian wax with hillary. Just so you know, thats not a thing you do with your girlfriends. Larry i want to bring up this term, the class cliff. Have you heard this . Yes. Larry where comes bring in a woman as a c. E. O. When the company is failing. I thought thats what they did with paum. He comes in as the janitor to clean up all that mess. Im glad you said it. Larry is there a feeling like the country has to go so bad, all right women, do your thing. Its the 52 faik out, thats what it is. Its you know what . Were sinking. Put her in. Shes going to be the scapegoat. When the company goes bellyup, then the man comes and saves day and they pull the wool over our eyes. It happens. We all know corporate people. Can you picture corporate people going, were losing men. Lets throw more out so we can blame the woman. The fact that were even still having this conversation and questioning womens right and equality. cheers and applause . Larry ill get a realworld example. Battle star galactica. Nuclear war going on, the whole world is being destroyed. President dead, Vice President dead, the secretary of state dead. They went to the only woman secretary of education alive, then she got to be president. Well be right back. cheers and applause wow thats got a kick spicy and. Hot. Tingly and. Fiery. Mucho caliente. You speak spanish . Oui. That is not spanish. Yeah, it is. Dunkins new spicy omelet flatbread is made with diced habanero, jalapeno, and red bell peppers then topped with bacon and cheese. Spice up your morning. Start bold and finish smooth with a cup of dunkins dark roast coffee. Beers have come, and beers have gone, but one has stayed the course. Sam adams boston lager independently crafted from the finest everything since 1984. Dont change for us. We wont change for you. Sam adams boston lager. Declare your independence from common beer. Much. Welcome back. Its time for the segment we like to call keep it 100. cheers and applause for all the people who dont know that expression it means keep it 100 real. Thats what it means. Okay. Alicia would you pick who would you pick for president , a woman or a la tino . You have to pick one. And the other one wont be in office for another 100 years. And latino woman is not an option because were keeping it 100, not 10. You can tell you the freakiest thing . I knew this was the question you were going to ask me. I had it in my brain. Larry so youre prepared. I think because weve already crossed because we know race and ethnicity is no longer a barrier, id choose a woman. Larry funny how you had it prepared and still. She kept it 100 right . cheers and applause good job, aliciaia. Chloe racism, sexism, cancer. You can destroy two forever. Whichever one you leave, that one grows like a mother bleep . Okay . And ill give you a hint. Cancer should probably be of them . Which two do you pick . I would definitely have to eliminate cancer, and i would eliminate racism. Larry you would leave sexism . Yes only because racism i feel like can destroy generations did you hear the audience . What im saying is that when you do racism it has sneaky bits and cornerrers. When you deal with sexism its sneaky cornerrers a little bit of tea. No youre just going to get some tea. What larry i didnt like that answer. What larry i dont think you thought it through audience booing . Can i explain myself a little bit better then . Larry we dont have time. Just take this. Which race has the worst tame in homes and decor . Oh, no oh cheers and applause could i plead the fifth are you trying to destroy my career and my business. Larry when race has the worst taste in homes and decor . Open your hands like this. Open your hands like this . Open your hands. applause all right, jim, here you go. Good job. Jim, you talk a lot about sex in your act. Youre very funny. You really go out there on it. Reincarnation is real but you can only come back as a body part, all right. Do you come back as a penis or vagina and why . I come back as a big giant penis because i want to be in as many vaginas as possible. Larry that takes two of these. Well be right back. Theres no way to top that. cheers and applause introducing york minis. A bite size way to enjoy the full size sensation of peppermint and rich dark chocolate. York minis get the sensation. Welcome back. Thank you. Its not home. But with every well considered detail, it becomes one step closer. No wonder more People Choose delta than any other airline. cheers and applause larry thats all the time we have for tonight. I want to thank our panelists, Alicia Mendez, Egypt Sherrod, Chloe Hilliard, and jim northon. cheers and applause tomorrow on the show were talking about banning word. Who get to decide what words people can and cannot say. I almost couldnt say that. As always, tweet your questions to me with the hashtag keep it 100. This is it is 11 59 and 59 seconds, good news ladies and certain fellows the
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