Musical guest, phoenix, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 666. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness hey welcome welcome [ cheers and applause ] you know its going to be a hot show. I feel it. I feel the love i give it right back to you. Thank you very much. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, to the tonight show. This is it, baby [ cheers and applause ] this is it this is the show to be at tonight. Hot show tonight. Heres what people are talking about. This is pretty big. I saw that today President Trump had a phone call with vladimir putin. Yeah. Actually, theyre just continuing the phone call they were just having last night, since neither of them would hang up first. [ laughter and applause ] [ as putin and trump ] you hang up. No, you hang up. No, you hang up. No, you hang up. [ laughter ] thats right, putin talking to trump. Even obama was like, now, this call im going to wiretap. [ laughter and applause ] put the popcorn on. [ applause ] thats not the only world leader trump wants to talk to. Yesterday he said he said this that he would be honored to meet with kim jongun. [ audience groans ] [ light laughter ] he would be honored. When asked why, trump said, because ive heard her music and she sounds beautiful. [ laughter ] youve got the wrong no, the wrong [ applause ] trump also took some heat this week when he said he didnt know what caused the civil war. [ light laughter ] to prove that he does have a a good understanding of history, trump just released his own textbook. Yeah, and take a look at some of the definitions he wrote. For example, for the ottoman empire, he wrote, fantastic store. Its where i buy all of my foot stools. Steve wow [ applause ] thats not 800588 [ laughter ] jimmy next for plymouth rock, he put, this is where simba was held up after he was born. Thats not true. [ laughter ] nants ingonyama thats not true. Steve thats not thats pride rock. Jimmy its not that either. [ laughter ] next for the gunfight at the o. K. Corral, he put, fake news. It was a tremendous corral. [ laughter and applause ] better than okay. Thats fake news. Fake media. Next up for the bubonic plague, he wrote, a World Without boobs . Can you imagine that . That would be the worst thing. [ laughter and applause ] and finally for the battle of the alamo, he put, makes sense, i hate paying my exwifes alamo. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] he shouldnt release that. Steve no. Jimmy this kind of surprised me, but White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer gave a new interview where he said that he loves his job and hes humbled to have it. [ laughter ] then spicer blinked his eyes in morse code to spell out, help me. [ laughter and applause ] im so happy to be here [ laughter ] hey, i saw that this years tony nominees were announced, and [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Exciting. This years tony nominees were announced, and groundhog day was nominated for best musical. [ cheers and applause ] thats right. This years tony nominees were announced, and groundhog day was nominated for best musical. [ audience groans ] [ laughter and applause ] hey, if youre excited about the tonys, you must be pumped about the nba playoffs. [ laughter ] last night the cavs were playing the raptors, and after a play, lebron james went into the crowd and almost drank a a fans beer. [ laughter ] check this out, its real. Despite the foul, would have gotten the call and one. Continues to hit the free throw six for seven. Oh, lebron tempted to take a a sip. Jimmy he was going to drink it until he saw how much the arena charges for beer. [ laughter ] what, 9. 50 for a plastic a a fake plastic bottle of beer . Some health news here. A new study finds that high salt diets actually make people less thirsty over time. [ audience oohs ] the way it works is, you die. [ laughter and applause ] another study finds that american toddlers are more likely to eat french fries than green vegetables. The study is published in a a collection called, how is this a study . [ laughter and applause ] really . Oh, so they liked, uh [ light laughter ] spent four years on it. Absolutely. Kids like chocolate better than they like vegetables. Steve whod think . Jimmy they like chocolates better than they like vegetables. [ laughter ] steve do they like broccoli . Jimmy they dont like broccoli as much as chocolate. Steve i set two pieces of broccoli next to four chocolate bars. [ laughter ] the children almost every time ate the chocolate bars. [ laughter ] jimmy i got to catch my train. Ill talk to you later. Steve one minute can i borrow a dollar . Jimmy yes, just take my metrocard. [ laughter ] finally, new Research Finds that people who are bullies are more likely to get plastic surgery. Unfortunately the nerds they bullied are more likely to be plastic surgeons. [ laughter and applause ] well, well, well, look who we have here. We have a great show. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh [ cheers and applause ] woo steve hey jimmy we have a fun show tonight. This guy is one of the alltime greatest. Oh, hes doing his first standup tour in nine years called the total blackout tour. The one, the only, chris rock is here tonight steve oh [ cheers and applause ] woah funny dude. Jimmy unbelievable. Hes not coming out here now. No, sorry. [ laughter ] people stood up, they thought chris was no, he will come out here, yeah. Steve yeah, weve got some stuff to do. Jimmy not here yeah, what a great crowd. Wow, they love him. [ cheers and applause ] quick story. I dont even know if we even have time for this. And this whole thing will probably be edited out. But years ago, id say 98, i got to see chris rock did the best standup show ive ever seen in my lifetime. And i got to go with a friend that knew chris. And i saw him at the universal amphitheater. And man, oh man, it was the greatest show. I was sore from laughing. It was like i did crunches for like two hours. [ laughter ] it was the funniest thing ever. Ive never seen this happen. He got four or five Standing Ovations during his set. Which never happens. Its insane. You hope to have one standing ovation on the way out. [ laughter ] he just crushed it. He was so good. I got to meet him backstage. I was nervous to meet him, you know, cause hes it was just fantastic. And then he took me and my friend and a couple of his buddies i think Garry Shandling was with us to kate mantilinis, which i dont even know if its open anymore. And he treated us to dinner. I could never afford kate mantilinis. At the time i was living off ramen noodle soup. [ laughter ] and i was like, sure. Ill get the i think i ordered the ramen. [ laughter ] and he goes, ill treat. I just will never forget that, cause i was just a young comedian. And he was being a cool guy. I just love him. And anytime he comes out with anything guys, if he is close to your town, go see chris rock live. [ cheers and applause ] you will talk about it like im talking about it years later. Hes that good. [ applause ] plus, hes one of the busiest guys in tv, our pal, andy cohen is stopping by [ cheers and applause ] steve come on jimmy hes rebooting Love Connection. Steve what . Jimmy i cannot wait for that. Im very excited. And then, weve got great music. Phoenix is here tonight, guys [ cheers and applause ] ti amo hey guys, it is time to take a a look at the stories making headlines today, and weigh the good with the bad. Its time for pros and cons. Here we go. Pros and cons and pros and cons and pros [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonight well be taking a look at the pros and cons of donald trump returning to new york city. [ audience groans ] can tell the crowds excited. Hell be back in town this thursday. Its his first trip back to the city since becoming president. So now lets take a look at the pros and cons of donald trump returning to new york city. Here we go. Pro, trump can visit his Favorite Places in new york. Con [ as trump ] wall street and chinatown. [ laughter ] chinatown. [ laughter ] pro, trump buying a shirt that says i heart new york. Con, mike pence buying a shirt that says, i heart my wife and like new york as a friend. [ laughter and applause ] thats a catchy slogan. Thats catchy. Steve fits on the back. Jimmy pro, seeing donald trump climb aboard the u. S. S. Intrepid. Con, then seeing new yorkers untie the rope and push it towards new jersey. [ laughter and applause ] hes your problem now au revoir steve say hi to Chris Christie [ laughter ] jimmy pro, going to koreatown. Con, starting a war with north koreatown. [ laughter and applause ] thats a tricky situation. Steve id be honored. Jimmy pro, itll cost the nypd over 300,000 in extra Security Forces to control crowds. Con, or they could do it for free with two United Airline workers. I mean [ cheers and applause ] get over here come here pro, hell be here for cinco de mayo. Con, betsy devos thinks thats spanish for, sink full of mayonnaise. Well, thats [ laughter and applause ] not quite, not quite. Steve almost. [ laughter ] its hellmanns. Jimmy pro, trump giving his wife melania a long, heartfelt goodbye as he leaves for his big trip to the city, telling her hell miss her and vowing to return as soon as he possibly can. Con, melania replying, k thanks, bye [ laughter and applause ] i know, i know, i know. I know. Were good. [ laughter ] au revoir steve say hi to Chris Christie [ laughter ] jimmy dont have to speak so fast, we can hear you. Take your time. Steve dont yell. Jimmy and finally, pro, new york is hosting President Trump. Con, in other words, the big apple is hosting the big orange. [ laughter and applause ] there you go, thats the pros and cons [ cheers and applause ] well be pack with chris rock come on back [ cheers and applause ] deartheres no other way to say this. Its over. Ive found a permanent escape from monotony. Together, we are perfectly balanced. Our senses awake. Our hearts racing as one. I know this is sudden, but they say. If you love something set it free. See you around, giulia grooves in your sandwich . Do you always put cheezit of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Chips made with 100 real cheese. Dang right its a chip [ ] bmilk and fresh cream,a. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest this evening is a brilliant comedian in the middle of his total blackout standup tour all over north america. It is his first tour in nine years. Go check him out. Or see him right now. Please welcome chris rock [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my goodness whoa jimmy my goodness. Whoa jimmy thats what happens when chris rock comes out. There you go. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy new york city wow jimmy new york city loves chris rock. They stood up. You would have thought i had a a stroke last year or something. I thought he had a stroke. Doesnt he look good . He just had a stroke. [ light laughter ] jimmy chris rock is here. What the hell was you playing . Questlove naw man. You always complain about your song. No, no. Normally its a song with rock in the title. So its king of rock, or rocking it. Questlove i was ran out of rock songs. It was blackout by redman and method man. Oh, okay. Too much, man. Jimmy too deep. That was some deep stuff. Theres white people here [ laughter ] jimmy thats a damn redman song. You got to entertain the white people. [ light laughter ] jimmy redman. Yeah, i love redman. I guess you dont want to be here that long. [ laughter ] you know . You know, theres nine commodores that need a job. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy nine commodores. Im just saying. Jimmy nine commodores. Theres nine commodores. Like, what are we going to do . And theyll play a bruno mars song in a minute. [ laughter ] it aint too hip for them. Play the hits. Jimmy you and quest you and quest know each other but you yeah, we go way back. Jimmy were you at the were you at the white house final party at the white house . Yes. I was at the white everybody was there. It was like it was whoa, the last party at the white house cause have you been to the white house . Jimmy yeah. Its amazing. You walk in, and you see these humongous portraits of the president s, everywhere you go, right . Jimmy yeah. So im there, and its me, and then amir is there, and jayz, beyonce, oprah. It was like i died and went to black heaven, right . [ laughter ] so were all in jimmy d. C. Yeah, it was unbelievable it was a few white people there, too. You know . Couple you know, kid rock or somebody. Anyway somebody, katy couric. And [ laughter ] there was a couple. There was a couple. You know, theres a lot more now, ill tell you that. And [ laughter ] so theres a lot more now. Jimmy yeah. And they had entertain you know, you were sitting around, youre meeting people, and you mingle. First you mingle. And at one point im its me and Michelle Obama, just talking. Im not really supposed to be alone with Michelle Obama. [ light laughter ] thats not really my lane. I dont know how to talk politics. And you know, Michelle Obama is like, i dont know what were going to do, the country, and were talking about elections and stuff. I dont know i dont know whats going to happen. This is such a crazy time. And i go, youll be all right. [ laughter ] i literally said that i said that to michelle i said youll be all right. Jimmy to the first lady. And then i said, you know, you get any kind of job you want, i mean the view, the housewives of atlanta. And she goes and Michelle Obama looks at me and was like, i was talking about the country. [ laughter ] i wasnt talking about me. Jimmy the house wives of atlanta. I was talking about the country. And i never felt so stupid in my life. Its like my ged flared up, you know . [ laughter ] and she gives me a look like, who let this [ bleep ] in my house . [ laughter ] and she didnt say that. But thats what the look was like. And then she goes, oprah, ive got to talk to you. And she runs she runs away from me. And then im feeling dumb. Im like, okay, i got to find some people thats dumb as me. Like ive got to find ive got to find my intelligence. Im like, okay where the athletes at, right . [ laughter ] where are the athletes. Then i see Charles Barkley, im like ahh my [ bleep ] whats up . Right . [ laughter and applause ] so i see Charles Barkley. We talked for a minute, right . And then, they they ring a a bell and youve got to go watch the entertainment, right . So it was me, Charles Barkley and jayz going in this room and watch the entertainment. First, it was it was herbie hancock. He was amazing. Like bom bom bom bom bom bom bom then Stevie Wonder like kind of snatches the mic from herbie hancock, right . And starts playing his stuff like and put some extra blind in it. You know what i mean . [ laughter ] put some like put some [ laughter ] you know what i mean . So stevie you know, stevie stevies been in the white house more than most president s. So when he act like he dont know where hes going, hes lying, right . [ laughter ] hes been there for like nine president s, all right . So stevies playing, and me and jayz get sad because we realize were never going to play the white house, you know . I mean, like hes never going to be, like, [ bleep ], whats my mother [ bleep ] . Thats never going to happen. You know . Jimmy i dont see that. Thats not going to happen. Not with one were only on the first black president. Jimmy thats right. You know black president 12 there might be a wutang reunion. But not [ laughter ] not. Jimmy but not now. Not now. Not going to happen. Not while were in the Single Digits of black president s, right . Then, the party started. And quest starts playing music. And its amazing. And were dancing. A bunch of black people dancing our asses off. Just amazing. In this place in a place that slaves made, okay . In a house that slaves black people enjoying the white house, man. Just amazing. Sasha, malia, and obama saying goodbye to people and everything. And as im walking out the white house, i look up on the wall, and i see a picture of George Washington with a bloody tear coming out of his eye. [ laughter ] and that was pretty much jimmy thats pretty much the party at the white house. Thats pretty much it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy chris rock, go see him on tour oh, my gosh. Well be right back with more of the tonight show, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ouch new bandaid® brand skinflex™, bandages. Our best bandage yet it dries almost instantly. Better . Yeah. Good thing because stopping never crosses your mind. Bandaid® brand. Stick with it™ officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. Woo hoo over you to you tom things have gone totally around the bend. Has the world gone completely bold . New doritos mix. Four snacks in one. This is how many people were born here. This many are fifth generation. This is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee. He keeps the town dry. Theyd prefer it a little wet. This many are proud of what we make here. This is how many will go around bragging about it. This is our town. If you cant get here, just look for one of our postcards. We send them all over. They look like this. Dont miss the 1 movie in the world. Er. [ music playing ] ha. Ha. [ pop ] [ sigh ] despicable me 3. Rated pg. Now playing. Ow no no whats going on here . Um. Im babysitting. Thatll be 50 bucks. You said 30. Yeah, well it was 30 before my fees, like the pizzaordering fee and the dogsitting fee. And the rummage through your closet fee. Who is she, verizon . Are those my heels . Yeah yeah, were the same size. In shoes. With tmobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just 40 bucks each. The price we say is the price you pay. Give extra. Get extra. Beggin skinny strips or beggin black label . Theres two . what a delicious dilemma beggin strips premium edition. Twwwoooooo . . with real meat as ingredient one. Everything to your liking . Mmm mmmmm. Beggin strips premium. Becaussssseeee beggin engine revving screams man woo hoo join in on the fun and cash in on the deals at the chevy 4th of july sales event. Man this is a fast car. Man 2 oh, boy enjoy the ride while making no Monthly Payments for the rest of the summer on these exciting chevy vehicles. Or, for a limited time, get 0 financing for 72 months on these 2017 models. Or get 20 below msrp on 2017 impala premier and sonic lt. Find new roads at the chevy 4th of july sales event. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back welcome back, everybody yeah jimmy im here with chris rock. [ cheers and applause ] go see chris on tour right now. Total blackout. Jimmy total blackout tour. Now, look, its no secret that i love music. And chris, i know youre a big music guy. Im a big music guy. Jimmy but lets face it. Theres a lot of bad music out there. Theres some horrible music out there, jimmy fallon. Jimmy so, as a service to you guys, chris and i are about to play some real songs. These are real songs. Actual. Jimmy from real bands that we think you should avoid in our latest edition of our do not play list. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] do not play do not play do not play these songs these songs jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah, good. Now, before we start, i want you all to know every artist and song that were about to play for you is 100 real. They are actual bands, actual songs. You can download them on itunes or amazon. See if your local music store has them. They are real. [ light laughter ] all right, lets see whats on our do not play list. Lets hear it. Lets hear it. Jimmy the first song is from an artist called kill the noise. You dont have to explain the album cover. I get it. [ laughter ] what the hell . Jimmy i dont know. Its a dolphin sipping sizzurp. [ laughter ] jimmy is that sizzurp . Thats syrup. Jimmy is that sizzurp . I know syrup when i see syrup. [ laughter ] jimmy this first song i had some syrup before i came out here. [ laughter ] jimmy its a heres the lets take a listen to the track called its called, dolphin on wheels. I didnt like dolphins dolphins [ dolphin squeaking ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] jimmy just kill the kill the noise. Its a dolphin. Wow. Jimmy dolphin sound effect. Dolphin on wheels. That sounds like dolphin on crack. [ laughter ] jimmy our next song is good. Oh. Jimmy this is a reggae artist. Its called guinney pepper. [ light laughter ] and the name of the album is herb, music, and food. Lets take a listen to a track called lick the chalice. [ laughter ] the herbs the herbs the herbs [ laughter ] jimmy thats good. Thats good. Okay, thats it. [ cheers ] dude, have you ever heard dude, have you ever heard anything like that in your lifetime . Wow, what part of jamaica is he from . [ light laughter ] jimmy the underwater part. Maybe hes trying to talk to the dolphins. [ dolphin squeaking ] [ laughter ] jimmy anyway, thats good. Thats, thats my man. Man, hes bad. Jimmy ive never seen that move before. Jimmy. Jimmy oh, the next singer is from the 80s. [ light laughter ] from the 80s, this is gloria balsam. Oh, gloria. Jimmy yeah. I havent heard from her in a while. [ light laughter ] jimmy man, you never heard of her. Everybody knows gloria balsam. [ light laughter ] jimmy the album who the hell didnt have a a poster of gloria balsam up when they was a kid. Jimmy the album is called fluffy. [ light laughter ] and between that, thats gloria there holding the invisible leash. [ light laughter ] it looks a little sad, but maybe her music is happy. Lets take a listen to fluffy. This is a love song about my first love. Jimmy a little red. Here fluffy [ laughter ] where are you where are you jimmy wow. All right, were good. Thats it. Wow. [ laughter and applause ] yo. Jimmy you dont hear that note. You dont hear that note enough. Wow. Jimmy you dont hear that one enough. You dont need to waterboard nobody. [ laughter ] just play that. Whoo theyll confess to anything. Jimmy wow, that was an interesting one. This is a canadian singer named sidney castel. [ laughter ] the albums called live at the beaver log . Jimmy yup. Also known as jamie foxxs house. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy i didnt know that. Lets listen to the pukatawagan song. Pukatawagon. Pukatawagon [ laughter ] pukatawagon thats where i come from pukatawagon pukatawagon jimmy thats good. Thats where i was wow. Jimmy wow, thats interesting. Heres my complaint about that. I dont believe that was live. [ laughter and applause ] i dont think they were in the beaver lodge unless there was no one there that night. Wow. Jimmy that sounded like a a clean recording. There you go. Thats wow. Jimmy yeah, the thats good stuff, man. Oh, this last one, were down to our last song. This is from tim wilson. You know tim wilson . Oh, Everybody Knows tim wilson. Jimmy ever have a poster of him . Tim wilson, you know his brother, bobby . [ light laughter ] jimmy heres tim wilson, right there. Tim wilson. Jimmy yeah, mr. Wilson explains america. [ light laughter ] is this a comedy album . Jimmy no, its not. This is a serious explains america . Jimmy take a listen to the booty song. Look at the booty show me the booty give me the booty i want the booty back up the booty i need the booty i like the booty oh what a booty shaking that booty i saw the booty i want the booty lord what a booty bring on the booty give up the booty loving the booty not bad. Right on the booty round booty down for the booty i want the booty hunting the booty chasing the booty thats a hit casing the booty getting the booty [ cheers and applause ] beautiful booty smoking booty talk to the booty jimmy my thanks to chris rock [ cheers and applause ] thats a hit. Total blackout standup tour coming to a city near you thats all the time we have for do not play. If you have an album or song you think we would want to see it, send a suggestion to our blog at donotplay tonightshow. Com. Stick around. Well be right back with andy cohen, everybody [ cheers and applause ] at red lobsters lobster shrimp summerfest, lobster and shrimp are teaming up in so many new dishes. Like coastal lobster and shrimp, with shrimp crusted with kettle chips. Or new, overthetop lobster and shrimp overboard. But it cant last, so hurry in. You have. Bug eyes [intern] i have some terrible news. Theyre destroying the whole town out of sunscreen, going on a targetrun need anything . Watermelon water please and soda grandpa got it get everyday low prices on everyday essentials, targetrun and done. What bad back . Gels work so fast youll ask what pulled hammy . Advil liqui gels make pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer what pain . Advil. Grooves in your sandwich . Do you always put cheezit of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Chips made with 100 real cheese. Dang right its a chip you know what i could go for righhmmmw . Some sweet barbeque. over speaker or spicy we got a craving go go go crashing cravings in the crave van. Jacks gonna crash your crave here, try my barbeque Bacon Cheeseburger with your choice of sweet or spicy barbeque sauce topped with bacon and onion rings. Thanks jack. Ha ha piece of cake. Oh, jack you crave it, we serve it. My new sweet or spicy barbeque Bacon Cheeseburger and chicken sandwich. Crave van [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. You guys having a good time . Oh, my goodness. That was fun. Lets keep it going. Our next guest is an Emmy Awardwinning producer and New York Times best selling author, his latest series, andy cohen then and now returns tomorrow night at 10 00 pm on bravo and his brandnew show Love Connection premieres may 25th at 9 00 p. M. On fox. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for andy cohen [ cheers and applause ] jimmy andy cohen wow hey jimmy and a standing o. Its a double standing o. Does that ever happen . Jimmy thats never happened, its a double standing o night on the tonight show. What did you give these guys . Jimmy they just love you, man. I never gotten a standing ovation in my life. Jimmy there you go. Thats what happens. Theres love. Jimmy for a fast segway, that was a Love Connection. Yeah. Jimmy yeah. I am so excited about this. James, youre a fan of the format, arent you . Jimmy i freaked out when i saw the headline that you were going to revamp Love Connection, you were going to host Love Connection. I cant think of a better casting for that. I cant think of a better human to do that. Thank you. Jimmy i am geeking out. May 25th . Yeah. Im so psyched. Jimmy were going to party. I am geeking out. Thank you. Jimmy and you got heres why im geeking out. Slice, whats his name . Mike fleiss, who produces the bachelor and mike darnell from american idol, two super powers of Reality Television coming together for Love Connection. Im the guy who loves asking awkward questions of people, you know . And so its so perfect. We set up two sexy singles, on a three days each. And theres a lot of dating and a lot of awkwardness. We have them score each other based on their First Impressions of each others looks at the beginning of the dates. And then i reveal the scores to them. Its so cringy. But i love it. Jimmy i live for that. I love it. Let me tell you something, ladies will score a gentleman poorly if theyre short. Its terrible. Jimmy really . I was trying to think of a a better phrase for short. Jimmy really . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy its based on height . No, you know, they really want a tall man. They like tall dudes. Jimmy whats the other thing . Any other scoops for for guys if theyre going on dates . Dont be late. Deal with your breath. Get to know the lady. Dont just talk about yourself. Jimmy do people vote on like little ipads . People vote on the yeah, people vote for their choice of who should be Love Connection. Jimmy everybody is like no theres a 10,000 twist at the end of the episode. Jimmy what . Its crazy. Jimmy wait a second really . Yeah, yeah, no, its crazy. Jimmy im geeking out about that. Its awesome. Jimmy i cannot wait for that. I love it. Jimmy and you get it do you were in this big like, love chamber. Like a big love spaceship. Its crazy. Jimmy a love spaceship. Its a love spaceship. No spoilers, but are there any connections . Maj connections jimmy really . Maj yes jimmy there are connections. Yes, yes. We dont let fate decide. We let a date decide. Jimmy yes thats what im talking about [ cheers and applause ] im freaking out about this. Thank you, thank you. Jimmy youre the perfect person to do this. Appreciate it. Jimmy then, andy cohen then and now is returning tomorrow night on bravo. Jimmy tomorrow night and i love the shows on bravo. 10 00 p. M. . Its on at 10 00, right after the new york housewives. And basically we take a year every episode and we look at how the events of that year shaped whats going on today. I love looking back. I like i got to talk to mary jo buttafuoco, and you remember her . Jimmy of course. Amy fisher, amy fisher. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy i think it would be fun if we did a then and now of just pictures that i have of you. Great. Jimmy and just im scared. Jimmy this is your bar mitzvah. So bad. You know what, nothing says awkward teenage years more than these transition lenses, reading the torah. What is not awkward about that photo . Jimmy why the transition lenses . Thank you to evelyn cohen who forced me into those. And they hadnt crafted them correctly. It is not sunny in the synagogue. Jimmy clearly it was a a little bright it was a a little bright. Yeah, i guess so. Jimmy cause if it was dark it would just be clear. Allegedly. Jimmy yeah. All right. How about this one here . This one i just oh, my god, this is so bad. Im okay. Im sitting on Jim Morrisons grave. Im 20yearsold. I am attempting to smoke. Im wearing essentially hammer pants, which i wore because i do remember that my butt used to look very good in this particular pair of very baggy pants. And a polo shirt. You can almost see jim morrison jumping out of the grave. You are a loser. Get off my grave. [ light laughter ] jimmy youre ruining my cool. Yes. Jimmy youre ruining the cool. And then this one here this is crazy. Okay. Im in my 30s at a special episode of trl screaming behind carson daly. Jimmy how cool is that . It was a special madonna i was an established tv executive at this time. But im like, oh, madonna oh, my god im going crazy. So bad. Jimmy we want to show a a clip of then and now. Heres andy cohen and willy geist in andy cohens then and now. Take a look at this. You were a big wrestle mania fan. I was at the first wrestle mania. I was there. Liberace was there. Excuse me . Mr. T was there. Hold on, back up. Liberace was there . Liberace was what she was doing there . Liberace was an honorary referee. They were trying to bring star power. Thats a show. Big. It was big. The guy sitting next to my mom, his jeans came up and there was a knife in his boot. And my mom said, whats the knife for . And he said, knifes for if anybody who messes with the hulkster. He was there to defend hulk hogan at wrestle mania with his knife. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy then and now. Then and now. Tomorrow night, wednesday night, 10 00 p. M. Yes. Jimmy you know im a big fan of the show. Watch what happens live. I watch you all the time. Thanks, jimmy. You gave up our shotsky. You gave me the muff of truth. Jimmy the muff of truth. Have you ever used that or not yet . Havent again. I will though. Jimmy we like giving you i like thinking of new ideas just that you could do on your show because its so different. You never know whats going to happen on your show. And thats why you have to watch what happens live. So i wanted to up the shotsky game. Okay. Jimmy but i didnt want to change the shots, because thats fun. But i was thinking, thats a a cool shot. Invent a shot. Okay. Jimmy and this will be your shot. You own this shot. Okay. Jimmy okay . What is it . Jimmy well, i want to do something kind of fun and magical. So i thought something to do with a unicorn. And so i invented a new jello shot thats layered with beautiful colors and its called the sloppy unicorn. Its the best way to end any night. Ladies and gentlemen, the sloppy unicorn. [ cheers and applause ] thats the unicorn . Jimmy thats the sloppy unicorn. Oh my gosh. Its so sloppy. Jimmy its a mess. Its a mess. Its a mess. You okay, unicorn . Do i get the unicorn . Jimmy hold on a second. Hes sloppy. Yeah, you get the unicorn. The end of the night. Thank you unicorn. Oh, hes drunk . Jimmy no, i dont know whats happening to him. Hes alright. Hes going to be fine. Oh. Jimmy so here, cheers. Youve got it so great. Jimmy weve got got like 30 of these for you for all week if wanted. And you can have the costume but not the person inside it. What kind of alcohol is in it . Jimmy its vodka its a a jello shot, ready . [ cheers and applause ] not bad. Its so sugary. Jimmy andy cohen, andy cohens then and now aires tomorrow night at 10 00 pm on bravo well be right back with a a performance from phoenix [ cheers and applause ] you might not ever just stand there, looking at it. You may never even sit in the back seat. 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Mmm we, the people, are tired of being surprised with extra monthly fees. We want hd. And every box and dvr. All included. Because we dont like surprises. Yeah. Like changing up the celebrity at the end to someone more handsome. And talented. Really. And british. Switch from cable to directv. Get 4 rooms with hd, dvr, and every box included for 25 a month. [crunch] yeah [slap] [slap] [punch] [crunch] im not the type to smushy garbages. You know what . Im going for it. You are completely and utterly. Awesome. Im glad you showed up. In my life i think im about to cry. You better not. Every single time i. Get down you always have. My back my back its really hard to describe. Its like. All these tiny little. Things . Yes. Yes. Things are actually. Friendship. The Energy Conscious whopeople among usle . Say small actions can add up to something. Humongous. A little thing here. A little thing there. Starts to feel like a badge maybe millions can wear. Who are all these caretakers, advocates too . Turns out, its californians its me and its you. Dont stop now, its easy to add to the routine. Join Energy Upgrade california and do your thing. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. They are a grammywinning band whose new album, ti amo, is out june 9th. Performing jboy, please welcome phoenix [ cheers and applause ] something in the middle of the side of the store got your attention when you ask for more i was excited to be part of your world to belong to be lost to be mostly the two of us something i was stealing for no reason at all they hang me higher than a disco ball but you talked them into letting me go its no picasso michelangelo something about the jewels you wear shiny shiny bangles on your wrists and at the masquerade ball you feel trapped in a vault in an empty aquarium if suddenly youre out of the woods then inside of an alley youre out of words well i thought it was radium at first just because of you these things i have to go through is it so bad is it so true is it still you just because of you these things i have to go through its more than that were chained and theres no one else to blame for us two some things they dont matter till they matter to you they stole that money from a homeless girl the truth is were all to blame the lies and moral consequences we started at the end of the line to end up giving up to a couple who cares when you talked me into letting you go no more coral on the atoll something about how hard you learned kamikaze in a hopeless world do you remember the last time you laughed and i laughed and you left and i left send me on the lonely other side of the world with a couple of guys and no alphabet put two and two together well make it last forever just because of you these things i have to go through is it so bad is it so true is it still you just because of you these things i have to go through its more than that were chained and theres no one else to blame for us two ahh ohh [ cheers and applause ] ohh ooooh just because of you these things i have to go through is it so bad is it so true is it still you just because of you these things i have to go through its more than that were chained and theres no one else to blame for us two [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, yeah come on phoenix [ cheers and applause ] catch them headlining the Hollywood Bowl june 15th. Well be right back, everybody oh, my gosh [ cheers and applause ] [brother] any last words . [boy] karma, danny. Karma [vo] progress is seizing the moment. Your summer moment awaits you, now that the summer of audi sales event is here. Audi will cover your first months lease payment on select models during the summer of audi sales event. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to chris rock andy cohen phoenix once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania stay tuned for late night with seth myers thank you for watching, have a a great night i hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye everybody [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight chris evans, from smurfs the lost village, actor mandy patinkin, music from michelle branch, featuring the 8g band with johnathan mover. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyer seth good evening, im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. Thats great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. President trump today met with the president of china at his maralago resort. And things got off to an awkward start when trump said, i thought you were really funny in the hangover movies. [ laughter ]
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