Take out some gauze, roll it out, porvodka on the bandage for sterilization, and drink. Looking for affordable Birth Control . Go to target on a saturday. Visit the toy aisle, and remind yourself, i can just walk away. laughter its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes Joe Scarborough kate upton and Yvette Nicole brown. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen whats up . cheers and applause stephen wooo hey jon hey, hey, hey cheers and applause . Stephen good to see you. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is an exciting day exciting day for president pump, because he went on a field trip to the museum of African American history. He was so worried steve bannon wouldnt sign his permission slip. He got to go. You been down there . Jon ive been down there gli havent been yet. I heard its incredible. Now, trump was originally supposed to visit the museum on Martin Luther king day, but that had to be postponed because of scheduling issues. Its understandable. As dr. King himself said, i have a dream, unless Something Else comes up. Then it can wait. laughter applause stirring. Stirring. cheers and applause i believe obama called that the fierce urgency of now. Or later. Now, at the end of the tour, trump honored the biggest figures in African American history like sojourner of truth, booker t. Washington and ben carson. I love this guy. Hes a great guy, really a great guy. And he can tell you better than me, but ill tell you what, we really started something with ben. Stephen yes, trump really started something by hiring ben carson. It is the biggest advancement for African Americans since. About four weeks ago when we had a black president. cheers and applause but since then but since then since then, pretty good since then. And make no mistake as secretary of housing and urban development, ben carson has his work cut out for him. Hud has a meaning far beyond housing. If properly done, its a meaning thats as big as anything there is. And ben will be able to find that true meaning and the true meaning of hud, as its secretary. Stephen yes. I believe ben carson will find the true meaning of hud, just like in the beloved childrens story highway the grinch stole housing. So good. Cindy lu who opinio along with carson, trump recognized other African Americans serving in government. He honored them the only way he knows how. I also want to thank senator tim scott for joining us today, a friend of mine, a great, great senator from south carolina. I like the state of south carolina. I like all those states where i won by double, double, double digits, you know, those states. Stephen yes, he loves those states where he won by double, double, double digits. But he seems to hate the country where he lost by millions, millions, millions of votes. cheers and applause hes still president hes still president. Doesnt mean hes not president. Hes still president. Hes just a loser president. Now, the department of Homeland Security told us today how theyre going to enforce the president s executive orders on immigration, and it cant come soon enough, folks. Just last week, hunters in texas were wounded in a gunfight near the border, when, they say immigrants illegally crossed in from mexico, converging on their camp in the middle of the night, and tried to rob them. Both men are recovering, but its an unbelievable story, in that you should not believe it because it was all a lie. Turns out they shot each other. laughter applause wow. Yeah, they shot each other. They shot each other. The truth hurts. Not as much as those bullets, but still. Apparently, one of the guys, named walker dougherty, was out Walking Around and when he returned to camp he thought that illegals were in the r. V. Waiting to kidnap his friends. But instead of announcing himself, he tried opening the door, and thats when his fellow hunter inside the r. V. , edwin roberts, fired off a round. Its like the old joke knock, knock blam, blam, blam laughter applause cheers thats how it goes . Knock, knock. Blam, blam, blam. Why did the chicken cross the road . To get away from the gunfight. laughter now, from the beginning, the sheriff said that there was no evidence Illegal Immigrants were involved, but that did not sto agriculture commissioner and cartoon of agriculture commissioner. He spread the story to his 400,000 facebook followers saying that America Needs to build the wall because, quote the aliendswere ambushing the r. V. That walker and his wife, period. Man, the immigration problem has gotten so bad, even he cant speak english. laughter applause now, speaking of speaking of imgriegz, last thursday was something called, a day without immigrants. cheers and applause you guys know about it . You know about this . I didnt know. I didnt really know about this. I thought thats what trump called it when melania stays in new york. It turns out because he misses her. But turns out, its when a lot of immigrants all over the country didnt go to work to protest trumps border policies. But now it turns out that a lot of those employees who participated in the protest got fired. For instance, in oklahoma the owner of the i dont care bar and grill fired 12 line cooks, and said, im on their side, but we have rules at the i dont care bar and grill. laughter okay. Fair enough. But if thats the case they should really change the name to the selectively anal bar and grill. By the way, please, i beg you, do not google selectively anal bar and grill. But cotry the jalapeno poopers. What is this, a month. We are a month into trumps presidency. And for those of us audience booing pace yourself. Its only one month, people. Youve got to pace yourself. For those of you keeping score at home, donald trump has gone golfing six times. Six times in 30 days. That explains the Bumper Sticker on air force one id rather be golfing, and theres a 20 chance that i am. applause now, we know golf. Golf. Golf claps. Golf claps. Now, we know the president has been to the golf course six times, but for some reason, his aides would not confirm that trump played golf each time he went to the golf course. Sure, he could be on the course for any reason. We know he loves making fun of peoples handicaps applause that deserves a golf clap. Oooh. But i know why theyre dodging, when trump was on the campaign trail, he said this im going to be working for you. Im not going to have time to go play golf. Stephen well, then thats good news if trump has time to be out on the golf course, i guess that means america is great again. Also theres news from a different world leader you didnt vote for, pope francis. Yesterday he addressed students and addressed a vexing theological issue, tking at dinner. Okay, teens, i hope youre happy. You and your texting is why we have wars. Now, go clean your room before before you start a pestilence. Just wait until your holy father comes home. This isnt new. Its an ancient problem. Even jesus did it at the last supper. Judas totes going to betray me, frowny face. And francis isnt done with you young people because he also chided todays youths for their lack of manners, saying that instead of a friendly good morning, they opt for an anonymous ciao, ciao. not only are you teens being rude. You also sound super pretentious. laughter ciao ciao, il papa. Ciao, ciao. I have to zoom, zoom on my scooter for another teeny tiny espresso. Beep, beep ciao ciao. Ciao, ciao. Ciao, ciao. cheers and applause ciao, ciao. I dont get francis was supposed to be the cool pope, but now it seems like hes turning into curmudgeon roam 1. That gives me an idea for a tv show old pope. I believe we have a clip. Dramatic scene at st. Peters today as the faithful gathered to hear the new old popes message of hope. Hey, you kids, get off of my lawn. Im keeping this frisbee. cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Scash is here. Stick around, everybody. First theres sharp blades. Then shielding lubrication. And cooling. Brrr. With lubrication before and after the blades. Shields and cools while you shave. Proshield chill from gillette. Deartheres no other way to say this. Its over. Ive found a permanent escape from monotony. Together, we are perfectly balanced, our senses awake, our hearts racing as one. I know this is sudden, but they say if you love something. Set it free. 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Please welcome, Joe Scarborough. applause stephen so as you know, im an ardent viewer of your show. Right. Stephen i watch the coffee joe morning. Every day. Big fan from way back. Stephen we call you coffee joe morning over here. Yeah. Stephen and Coffee Morning joe and the brew crew we call you guys over there. Hows mika . Shes doing great. Stephen yeah. Are you the cohost are you guys cohosting or are you the host and shes the cohost. Its morning mika. Shes in charge. Stephen she is . Shes always been in charge gli understand shes the one who banned Kellyanne Conway from coming on your show. She has, she has. cheers and applause . Stephen thats strong. Thats a strong move. So, so what youre saying is wait a second. So, i recognize most of these people here from the Republican Convention this summer. Stephen yes. All in cleveland. Theyre all from cleveland. Theres one guy with a nascar shirt in the back. I think that may be the only republican in here. Stephen mika makes those calls. If i want to be on the show i can be on the show . You have to ask mika. Stephen do i have to stay on mikas good side . Yes, you do. It got to a point where kellyanne kept coming out and everything she said was disproven five minutes later. It was somebody else in the administration. Stephen theres a quicker way to say in tha in an entire sentence. Which . Stephen she just lied. Well, yeah, exactly. cheers and applause . Stephen heres a question for you. You might know this because you know the inside scoop on the white house, right . Like the president calls you every morning and says, what should i think, joe . Right . Because he calls you i know he watches your show. We know he watch yourself show every day. We think he does, based on his twitter field, yes. Stephen thats the only way we know anything did donald trump. Exactly. Stephen wean hes fine right now because of his twitter feed. Its been kind of silent. He has watched the show for years. Even when he claims hes not watching the show and sens out nasty tweets to us, we always look at the camera and say, donald, we know youre watching the show, but how you doing . Stephen you dont say, donald right . You say, mr. President. Even i say, mr. President. Were in a transgligz youre in a transition from being buddies the country . A transition. Stephen oh, the country. Hes been donald trump forever. Hes been donald forever. Its hard to start calling him mr. President. And ill be really honest with you, the way hes acted or the past month has made it even harder to call him mr. President. cheers and applause . Stephen you im sorry. No, listen, im a republican, and im a conservative. But like you, and im not being sort of smaltzy. But im an american. I didnt wrote voet for bill clinton. The guy drove me absolutely crazy. But when he put his hand up and saluted or gave his oath, i was cheering for him. I think we as americans should not cheer against our president , like Rush Limbaugh said he was doing with barack obama. I actually think we should pray for our president. But that requires all of us as americans to do what we can when a president is not doing what he needs to be doing to stand up and do our park too dispp right now, i think its the responsibility of all americans, especially republicans and let me say this everybody republicans in the senate that when you have a president of the United States. cheers and applause when you have a president of the United States that questions judicial review and questions the legitimacy of a federal judge, to stand up and say, this is not right, and were going to call it out. When you have a president that actually questions free speech, the First Amendment, and news organizations that are doing their job, i think its incumbent upon my party, especially, to stand up right now and speak out. Because i always say this of everybody that gets into the white house you think youre at the center of the world now . You dont own this place. You are renting this place out. The American People are letting you have this. The Republican Party needs to know tha there is going to be a time after donald trump and they are going to be judged for the next 50 years on how they responded to the challenges of today. cheers and applause what are you doing . Stephen you were absolutely going for that. You were totally going for that. Listen, i wish over here. Over here can you get me. Im going to juggle now. I have them going. Stephen i wish i shared your optimism that there will be a time after donald trump. Right now im a little worried. Do you think who do you think is calling the shots over there . I have heard that, like, steve bannon is driving the bus. Obviously the president is on the bus but bannon is inviting people on and off the bus. Stephen miller is on the bus. Reince priebus doesnt necessarily want to get on the bus because he believes in gft n government, and you dont understand this bus thing. Stephen you dont . Are you on the bus or off the bus, joe . You just confused me. I can tell you this, knowing donald trump they always say who is the last person in the room who influenced donald trump . Donald trump is always the last person in the room. Donald trump is the person who makes the choices. I think right now we have a tale of two administrations. You look at the Foreign Policy advisers hes put out there, theyre pretty solid. Stephen mcmaster seems like one of the best decision trump has made. Great session. The secretary of defense, mattis. A lot of people think he got him just because his nickname was mad dog. Somebody said he thought he was getting patton, but in the end he ended up getting a real statesman and somebody like general marshall. Bust you look at the Foreign Policy team, he has strong people actually will give him agreement advice. We can relax about that. My bigger problem is the inside circle. There are nobody in this administration that can go in and tell this president no. Thats bad. Its happened with past administrations, but since he has no government experience, he needs that, and we need that as a country, somebody thats got the exwuts to go in and stand up and say this is wrong. Instead you have people like Stephen Miller or as mika calls him, the little dictator. Think about that fair second. Stephen we have no idea how large his dictator is. I think that may have been mikas suggestion. He goes on tv and says the president of the United States cant be questioned. Stephen will not be questioned. Will note be questioned. Im sorry, thats a little frightening. Stephen yeah. Actually, thats very frightening. Thats scary as hell. Stephen i understand, if you compliment donald trump, he likes you pretty instantly. And that if you Say Something not nice about him, he dislikes you almost instantly. You know, i hear a lot of people say that stephen you know him, right . You knew him before he was president. Just to put it out on the table, one of the interesting things of our relationship throughout the years is ive always been able to be very blunt with him, given him really tough advice. When he was talking about giuliani or bolten as being secretary of state, you know, we were having a friendly conversation. I said, yeah, y can pick them as secretary of state. Just know that mika and i will absolutely kill you on the show for the next four years. We, of course, said it on tv. Theres never anything we say in person that we dont say on tv. But stephen really . laughter so theres nothing youre going to say to me when the camera goes off that you wont say right now. I swear a lot more to him off off camera, and im a little more emphatic. Chris has seen that. A little more emphatic. He doesnt there just arent a lot of people that actually have the nerve in the inner circ toll stawnd stephen why dont you apply for a job, joe . I am. Im going to play with your band. Thats my job. Stephen well see. Well see. We have another act to this. We have to take a little break. Well be right back with more Joe Scarborough. You make it detect what they dont. Stop, stop, stop sorry. You make it sense whats coming. Watch, watch, watch mom. Relax im relaxed. You make it for 16year olds. Whoawhoawhoa and the parents who worry about them. You saw him, right . Going further to help make drivers, better drivers. Dont freak out on me. Thats ford. And thats how you become americas bestselling brand. Hashtag crispety, hashtag peanut buttery. Hashtag stop posting about it and eat it already. Butterfinger. 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Scrubbing bubbles toilet gel, freshens and cleans with every flush. Spend less time cleaning, and more time thinking about the important things. Sc johnson and this is they like lobster party. Y, red lobsters lobsterfest is back with 9 irresistible lobster dishes. Yeah, its a lot. Try tender lobster lovers dream and see how sweet a lobster dream can be. Or pick two delicious lobster tails with new lobster mix and match. The only thing more tempting than one succulent lobster tail, is two. Is your mouth watering yet . Good. Because theres something for everyone, and everyones invited. So come in today. Stephen welcome back. Were here with Joe Scarborough. Now, joe. Yes. Stephen we were talk before the break about your bestie, donald trump. Yup. Stephen now, do you think this is a sustainable atmosphere were in right now . Because i feel like i was Walking Around this weekend thinking i dont know whether its the emotion or the divisiveness or just some sort of general vibe in the country. This doesnt feel like it can go on at this fever pitch for a long time. It just cant. And ill tell you, there are so many people republicans and democrats alike people that have voted for him, people who didnt vote for him, that all agree this this pace just cant be sustained. Stephen will donald trump make it all four years of his term . Thats up to donald trump. I mean stephen what do you what do you think . Well, i think if he continues the way he continued the first month, i just dont think its sustainable. And dont think it will last four years. Stephen or will we just get used to it . Will we just build a callous on our soul . Our soul will begin to look like a big toe. I think weve already done that. I think weve already died a Million Deaths already the first month. Stephen do you think the republicans will stand up to him . Because right now, it feels like the republicans feel like they have a tiger they can ride the tiger. They can sort of control trump, get what they want, and hop off before the toboggan hits the tree. Start with the tiger and moved tie to bogon, i realized. You know what i mean, they feel they can get what they need out of them and not get hurt by the rides. You go from buses to toboggans to tigers. I dont know whats coming up next but its frightening. Thats not what theyre saying behind closed doors. Theyre very worried about how erratic hes been. Of course, theyd like to pass tax cuts. Theyd like to pass regulatory reform. Theyd like to have their own Health Care Reform plan out there, but theyre concerned. I was interviewing mitch macobble mcconnell. Mitch dont give up anything he doesnt want to give up. And three or four times i asked him a question, he gave me the political answer, i was ready to go to the next and he basically kept talking. And he said some things that were very heartening, talking about the importance of judicial review, talking about the importance of the president focusing his message, staying off of twitter, stopping with the distractions. Stephen thats a pretty low bar to feel hopeful about, though. applause . Well, right now stephen thats really, thats a minimum right now thats all weve got. Stephen functional democracy is a low bar. Its all weve got. Did i say this and im dead serious here it hit me how grave the situation was this past weekend when the president said what he said about the press this weekend. Ben sass, a republican from nebraska, who has spoken out against donald trump, tweetedly the First Amendment i was excited. I retweeted it and said, yeah, give it to him. I said, wait a second, in 20 sphaenl, it seems a subversive act to simply tweet the words of the First Amendment and im serious that tells you where we are are right now. I hope the president corrects, and i hope he makes more decision like he made with general mcmast perp thats good. I hope he stays off of twitter. But if he doesnt i think we all have to, again, do our part as americans. applause . Stephen well, i know one of the things you do soblow off steam, to relax yourself is you play the guitar, right . Oh, thank god. I thought you were going to talk about my heroin problem. Stephen no. Thats the next time youre here. I play guitar as well. Stephen i understand you have a band called morning joe music. Is that true . It was of the first thing that came to mind. Stephen yes. Yes. Stephen would you play something for us right now . Well, i would love to you. I hear youre an Elvis Costello fan. Stephen im a huge Elvis Costello fan. I love elvis, always have, and never played, whats so great about peace, love, and understanding. Stephen is there any chance you have rehearsed with the band. Guys, have you heard the song . Jon nope, never heard it. Lets do it in g. As i walk through this wicked world searching for light in the darkness and insanity i ask myself is there only pain and hatred and misery and each time i feel like pushing aside theres one thing i want to know whats so fun about peace, love, and understanding so, i finally broke the silence with my doctor about what i was experiencing. He said humira is for people like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohns disease. In clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. And many achieved remission. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. If youre still just managing your symptoms, talk with your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. For every social occasion. So the the broom said, sorry im late. I overswept. [ laughter ] yes, even the awkward among us deserve some laughter. And while its okay to nibble in public, a lady only dines in private. Try the name your price tool from progressive. It gives you options based on your budget. Uhoh. Discussing finances is a big nono. What, im helping her save money shh men are talking. 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Please welcome kate upton applause hi stephen congratulations. Thank you so much. Stephen so its not just one cover this time. Its three covers. Three covers. Stephen now, i want to go over these covers here because i need you to explain a couple of things to me. laughter . Stephen i dont understand i dont understand everything about it but im sure you have the inside scoop. So you have three covers so its six covers all together. Im not sure theyre counting it like that stephen theyre counting. Okay. Stephen ill talk to the judges afterwards. Heres one of the three covers right here. There you go. Theres one of the covers. cheers and applause thats beautiful. Where was this shot . In fiji. Stephen in feej gee yeah. Stephen had you been to fiji before . No, it was my first time. It was absolutely beautiful there. I was able to go snorkeling the first day. I have to say it wasnt a bat bad shoo. Stephen no, pretty nice. I want to point out that you have a necklace around your neck, and a necklace around your waist. There is no bath bathing suit involved in this shoot at all. Yes. Which i guess is weird since its a swimsuit magazine. Its really for the fashion. This magazine is really for the fashion. Stephen exactly. Heres one, this one, theres a little bit more. You dont wear a jacket to the beach. Stephen i always wear a jacket to the beach. I always wear a mad dorjacket in case a bull charges me. You have a bathing suit bottom on there. Yes. Stephen this one i particularly liked. This one right here, things really go off the rails. laughter yell wl, you know, this is a onepiece, so lots of coverage. Stephen it is. You really have to cut up those plastic soda can rings before you toss them out. You look like you look absolutely beautiful but a little bit like a sea turtle that got swept up in a fishing net. Fantastic. I want to point something out. These are three absolutely beautiful covers. Thank you. Stephen i would not look nearly as good in any of these outfits. Bit do want to point out, here we go here we go heres one of your covers. This is the ad on the back of Sports Illustrated. This chest of drawers is wearing more bathing suit than you are on the back. Well, you know, it needs more coverage, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stephen well, i have a question about modeling. Okay. Stephen because i dont know a lot about modeling. You, obviously are, blessed with excellent bone structure and but theres a lot of work that goes into modeling as well. You have to keep yourself fit. You have to knowing in smg about keeping your compose nur all situations. Whats the hardest thing to do . Like, whats the hardest situation you have been in where you have to sort of keep your composure and model . I guess the hardest shoot ive ever been on is probably when i went to antarctica which was my last cover with Sports Illustrated. Stephen i remember that. I think we have okay, yeah, this is this is you in antarctica. Another great place to wear a bikini. Stephen right, exactly. Why did you go to antarctica . Just for the penguins. Well, that years magazine theme was to go to all seven continents wearing a bikeen neall seven continents. And i was the lucky mod whole got to go to antarctica. Stephen so someone someone went to fiji that year, too. Yeah, yeah. Stephen and you went to antarctica. I really envied them. Stephen you are engaged to Justin Verlander of the detroit tigers. Yes. Stephen congratulations. Thank you stephen now do, they, when someone say super model do they just go harvest an athlete and deliver him to you . Lets get you somebody good. Have verlander washed and brought to her tent. Yes thats exactly how it happens. Stephen so are you also sporty . Because guys who are into sports probably need somebody sporty. Do you have a spofort your own . Yes, i was actually a competitive horse back rider. Stephen so you could outride him. Hes terrified of horses. Stephen for good reason, theyll giant and theyll bite you. Dont be on his side about this. Hes scared. Stephen they could trample him to death. Doubtful. Stephen they could youre not scared of horses at all . No. Theyre beautiful animals. Theyre very healing. Stephen who can smell fear. Yeah, and they smell it stephen they can smell fear. Well, i know the wedding when is the wedding, by the way gidont know. Stephen you havent set a date . Oh, youve got to nail him down. Youve got to nail him down. Well, you just poachted this do you mind if i show this . Yes you. Stephen just posted this, and it is your wedding notes, and it says, this is Justin Verlander and me planning our wedding. Fun party down here it says, tequila . Food . Ive had a wedding. I can recommend food before the tequila or else justald the word fist fight at the bottom of it. I think we were more wondering what food, what tequila. Stephen theres definitely going to be tequila . Definitely. Stephen like shots . I hear weddings are very stressful. laughter . Stephen especially if youre hammered on tequila. Well, good luck with the wedding. Im sure it will be beautiful, whenever it is. Yeah, thank you. Stephen tell him to stay away from the horses and congratulations ogz your covers. Thank you so much. Thank you. Stephen the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is its actually faster than most laptops, has lte like your phone, and a touch screen you can write on. So youre kinda right. Wooooooohhhhhh im kinda right what . You know thats not yourz line, right . Did you know that h r block will file your 1040ez for free . Ahh. Yeah. The line is,rome. And my jobs done here. Ok. Thank you. Dont just get your taxes done. Get your taxes won. My laptop has the nastiest viryeah, that is scary. You know an ipad pro doesnt get pc viruses, so relax theres nothing to be afraid of. 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Im in vests and as a vested investor in vests i invest with e trade, where investors can investigate and invest in vests. Or not in vests. Sign up at etrade. Com and get up to six hundred dollars. ,,,you feel every mountain weve ever conquered. In our sports cars, you feel every podium weve ever climbed. And now, theyve come together to create something youve never felt before. Introducing the glc coupe. Part suv. Part sports car. All mercedesbenz. cheers and applause stephen hey hey, everybody. My next guest is a very funny actress and comedian who you know from community and the odd couple. Please welcome Yvette Nicole brown applause hey hi, Stephen Stephen hi, Yvette Nicole brown. How are you . Im so excited to be here with you. Stephen im so happy to see you. You have been in and on everything. Community, the odd couple, the Office Boston legal that 70s show entourage curb your enthusiasm. But i know you from donors choose. Donors choose, this Amazing Charity were both on the board for applause hey, donor choose. Stephen people at home tell the people how it works. Donors choose is a Great Organization where teachers who are in need, need crayons or books for their students say, can you give me 5 for this or 2. Its called donors choose because we are the donors and we get to choose. Stephen any classroom, any School System in the United States. Any amount, any amount. Stephen incredible. Its kind of a love letter to teachers and students and we both have a heart for teachers and students. Stephen and the best part is you actually get a letter back from the students who received you get thank you notes. Stephen who received the donations or the books or the crayons. Do you have a favorite . My favorite is actually the first classroom i funded. They just wanted the teacher just wanted a 64 box of crayons for each of her students. I dont know if anybody in here grew up poor, but if you grew up four, that 64box of crayons with its sharpener, you have made it. When i thought about these bears, the idea of them each having their own box, i was like, this is the one. This is the one i want to fund first. And then i got all my thank you notes in crayons. Dear miss brown, thank you. Go to donors choice. Org,. Will change your life. It will change your life. Stephen its beautiful. Support schools. Yes. Stephen while we still have them. While we still have them. Because betsy is dangerous. Shes out there. Shes on the run diswr you. Stephen were tweeting today. I did tweet today. Stephen you were tweeting today about the president being down at the National Museum of African American history and culture. And laughter this is your tweet. You read this one. Nope, and nope. No. cheers and applause . Stephen no. Better than not going down. Give the man some credit. Better than not going down. Is it. Stephen i dont know. Listen, listen, everything is not all better because you attack a picture in front of Martin Luther king. I need everybody to understand that. This is not a game. I dont like my people, especially ones that have done great things for, you know, civil rights, to be used as props. And if youre going to do a press a photoop, i need you in front of slavery or something really gritty so when they ask you a question you are standing in front of someone in chains and you are being really honest about all the horrible things you have said about black and brown dispeem do it in front of somebody in chains. applause stephen now, you you as i said, youve done a lot of things, but you always say you limit yourself to p. G. Roles. Stephen i do. Why the p. G. I made a decision to do graik draik and josh. cheers and applause . Yes that was a decision i made to be on a kids show, and when youre on a kids show, they kind of run it every five years. It starts over. Everyone five years, i get a new group of 12yearolds i loved you on jake and ross. I need to be careful what i do so the babies dont get confused. Stephen they dont see you and g, oh, lets watch this. And im like woo this is the thing stephen gotta learn somewhere. No, im very p g. 13 myself. Im pretty mcprude. My friends call me baby jesus. I dont need to be thrown against a wall. Im a kind of person, if its a love scene, kiss and fade to black. I know what theyre doing. I know what theyre doing Stephen Colbert. Stephen no 50 shades stuff. No, i cant do it stephen right now the new show youre doing supermansion. Stephen on crackle, the one where Jerry Seinfeld did comedian in cars. Brierk its also his animated series. Its stopmotion animation. Those who loved like rudolph the red nosed reindeer when you were younger its that kind of an makes. Its an app, everybody can get it. Crackle. Com. Its a show about elderly not elderly, but older super heroes. Stephen mature. Seasoned seasoned super heros that have to kind of come out of retirement and save the world. And Bryan Cranston is the lead one. Of play portia, who is a talk show host, and zina who is an otherworldly character. Stephen this is nasty. Its not pg13. Its dirty and theyre doing it. My character has not allegedly done anything like that. Stephen its coming. I know it is for it is for adults. I tell people and crackle tells people before you turn it on stephen its a selling point for adults but reason its okay for you the babies dont see you. Its my voice. So the babies they may see portia do something that might confuse them but it wont be my face as helen from jake and ross doing something crazy. Stephen bet is doing the new edition story. Did you watch the new edition story . Let me tell you, get your explf watch the new edition story. It is a story about how these kids from boston had a dream. Its a really comingofage story. Its a cautionary tale in certain aspects, but theres great music, theres great act glug are a musician. I was a singer. Stephen you actually sang. Digr you still sang. But actually professionally. We have a clip of you here. You do stephen doing a song. Oh, my god. Stephen one for all for one. Oh, god. Im sorry, everybody. Stephen jim, hit it. Im sorry were the only family the only family trying to make things right you gotta have some fun the 90s were not kind. The 90s the 90 its. Stephen it was lovely to see you. Thank you, honey. Stephen supermansion is streaming on crackle. Yvette nic,,,,,,,,,, stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be kelly ripa, billy gardell, and musical guest, the lemon twigs. Now stick around for james corden and his guests trevor noah, laverne cox, and luke wilson. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where you come from its gonna be all right its the late, late show