Item 42. Item 43. Willfully creating a disturbance during duty hours. Huh . Item 44. Fraternizing with female personnel. Aw, take it easy captain. The boys needed a little relaxation, they havent had a leave in months. Give em a break, captain. Oh, ill give em a break, all right, mchale. Ill give em a break right about here and ill personally tie the noose myself. Now dont you interrupt me anymore. Yes, sir. If id a known he was that mean, id have never asked him to dance. You shut your fat little mouth or ill give you a. [knock on door] come in ill sink you. Excuse me for interrupting, sir, but theres a new ensign whos just arrived and hes very anxious to speak to you, sir. I dont know anything about a new ensign. Thats all i need around here is another ensign. Item 45. But sir, sir, hes not assigned here, sir, hes not assigned here. Hes just laying over for three days until he can get a flight out to bora luna, sir. Here are his orders. Dont you understand . I dont want to see his orders i dont want to see him i dont want to know anything about this man, whoever he is ensign Roger Whitfield the third . Yes, sir. Is this the son of Roger Whitfield the second, my old boss . Well, thats what he told me to tell you, sir. Dont stand there like a ninny you bring that boy in here. You bring him in here right away my goodness, thats my bosss son. I want my job back after this war, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dont just stand there, mchale tidy up tidy up help me with my coat. You standing around, nobody does anything to help me. Itsi tell you, its will you get this thing off of me, you lump every time you get near me. Put that down oh i dont have time for this brat to show up. I. Ooh hello, roger boy. So nice to see you, boy. How are you . Its a small war, isnt it . Whoever thought id bump into you way out here. Huh, bingy . Bingy. Yeah. Thats what they used to call me at the yacht club. Oh . Yeah, bingy. Goodbye, boys, goodbye. Nice of you to drop in. Whats the rush, bingy . Arent you going to introduce us . Oh, you wanna. He wants to. Uhh. This is, uh, this is commander mchale. Hi, glad to know ya. Yeah. Hi any friend of bingys is a friend of ours. I know. Well, byebye, boys so, so, youre quinton mchale, huh . Oh, ho, ho, ho i heard a lot about you from the fellas on the plane. Oh . Weve heard a lot about you, too. Yeah, boy, you shoulda heard what he said about you before you came in. I was telling them all about the south bay yacht club, roger. Yeah. Yeah. How are things at the yacht club, roger, without me . I suppose theyre just falling apart. Well, not exactly. Dad wrote me that they put charlie druten in your old spot managing the place and, uh, i understand hes doing a pretty good job, too. Charlie druten, huh . That eight ball, he couldnt manage a live bait barge. Well, if i remember right, thats what they used to say about you, too. Huh, bingy . Ha ha ha. Heh heh. Great sense of humor this boy. It runs in the family. Captain couldnt manage a live bait barge. Well, if youre gonna have a little ol reunion here, captain, well be on our way. What about the courtmartial . Oh . Dont tell me youre having personnel problems, bingy. You know dad always thought that was your weak point. Uh, your dad thought that was my weak. Im not having any personnel problems. Hmm . No no, no no, what mr. Parker meant was that the captain seldom has any personnel problems. Oh, i see. Of course there are those charges on the, uh. Uh, heh heh there are no charges here, mchale. No, no. Uh, thats on the house. Oh well, wonderful, we sure appreciate that yeah boy, listen. Any time you need a favor, boy, you can call on us yes, sir. Yeah. Heh heh. You see that . Were just one Big Happy Family yeah [laughter] big hay family say, dad, can i use the boat tonight . Byebye byebye yeah. Theyre a little eccentric, but theyre fine. Make yourself comfortable, son. Make yourself comfortable. Wont pop get a kick outta hearin that i ran into old bingy ha ha ha ha ha be sure and tell him how thrilled i was to see you. Wont you do that . Uh, excuse me, roger, i wouldnt want these dirty papers to spoil your shoes. Aw. Yoohoo, mchale yoohoo, sailor. Its me, Little Flower. Little flower . She looks like a whole hothouse to me. Shh. Why dont ya get lost . Ah, well, Little Flower. Tell me, what can we all do for the most charming daughter of the most noble chief on this island . Mchale, i here to make deal. You give me ride on pt boat, i give you pig. Heh heh heh oh, yeah, but. Thanks a lot, but, actually, we dont need a mascot right now. On our 73, huh . Best way Little Flower know how to catch husband. Here. Oh, uh, you mean run em down in their canoes . Thats a little dramatic even for leap year, isnt it . Here. Ahchoo im allergic to those things. Well, uh, Little Flower, ill tell ya. Im sorry, but we cant help you. Because if binghamton ever catches us with another girl on the boat, hell skin us alive. So, im sorry. Well. Uh. I tell you. I give you two pig well, two or 200, i. I. It just cant be done. I throw in water buffalo. Feather coat. Even pet crocodile gee, skip, a pet crocodile. Im sorry thats captains orders, and thats final. All right for you, mchale. But if i wind up old maid, all your own fault ahchoo hey, skip, cant we take just a little peek at the bosss son . Yeah, any guy that can push old lead bottom around like that. Look, i dont wanna have to hang around here any longer than we have to. But, roger, im afraid you didnt understand, boy. See, when i offered you the best quarters on the base, i didnt necessarily mean mine. Well, popll be thrilled to hear about your hospitality, bingy. Dont forget these. I gotta freshen up now, bingy. Byebye. What id say to him if only id married money. What are you pirates gawking at . Didnt ever see a man on the way to the, uh. The dry cleaners before . Hey, did you guys see what i saw . Hey, wasnt that beautiful . Hes got binghamton eating out of of his hand. Hey, mchale. Youre just the man i want to see. Ohh . Uh, what do you guys do for kicks i mean, uh, confidentially. Well, confidentially, i get a kick out of those training films the medics have been showing. Aw, knock it off you know what i mean. I mean, wine, women, song. That kind of thing. Oh, that kind of thing. On taratupa . Well, thats ancient history, sonny. Captain binghamton turned thumbs down on any more parties. Oh, really . Yeah. Well, uh, what if we can get him to change his mind . You mean, give us permission to throw a wingding . Well, you came to the right place yeah, well order us the wildest, swingingest. Stow it stow it and you can save your breath, sonny. Because caain binghamton isnt about to change his mind. Oh, really . Well, why dont we just ask him . Excuse me, roger, i forgot my toothbrush. Are you men still hanging around here, goofing off . Move out out out out all right. Lets go, boys. Go where, mchale . Arent you interested in the party . Party . What partys that . What party, what, wha. Well, my welcome aboard party, bingy. Pop always said that youd throw one for me if our paths ever crossed in the pacific. We. I. Heh heh heh that party, yes how stupid of me to forget that. Now hold on, captain now, how you can you ok his shindig, when you just chewed us out for throwin a party . Because i got four little stripes that say i can, thats how, mchale. Stripe dropper. You shut up now, uh, im going to have mchale get his boat ready. Im going to invite some of our prettiest nurses and were going off on the most fabulous seagoing luau youve ever seen. [cheers] knock it off hush far as im concerned this party is for ensign whitfield. You men are just going along as the hired help. Help . Shh. Now, roger, wont your father be happy when he hears the wonderful time that ive been showing you . Come on inside, boy, get out of this hot sun. Is everything comfy in here . [music playing] well im feeling no pain. Youre neat, baby, really terrific. Hubba, hubba. Isnt that cute. Bartender hurry up with the drinks, were running out in here. Yes, sir, ill just. Oh, hello, how are you . Hey, you clumsy oaf look what youve done thats the first time ive had this on, too. Clumsy oaf. Excuse me, excuse me, anything wrong, captain . Yes, ill tell you whats wrong. This nitwit heres trying to drown me, thats whats wrong. Well, dont just stand there, go get somo more uh, yeah, later, bingy, later. Right now i kinda figured the gals might get a few kicks outta watching me put this tub through her paces. Oh, really . Well, just back off slowly, sonny. Because nobody steers my pt boat, unless hes a qualified helmsman. Yeah, they hardly ever let me touch it. Dont worry, mchale, im qualified. Dad used to say that i could handle a speedboat better than anybody in the yacht club. Right, bingy . Oh, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. Thats what dad used to say, mchale. Yes, yes. Now, wait a minute, captain not San Diego Bay i dont care if this is tokyo bay, roger wants to steer the 73, he steers the 73 and thats an order come on, roger, ill show you where the wheel is. Ha ha is this kicks, baby, or is this kicks . Yahoo captain, i refuse to stand by while that punk plays hot road with my boat you watch your language, mchale. Youre doing fine, roger boy, fine. But, captain, these are dangerous waters. Theres no telling what were liable to run into. Boy, ill say hey, sand bar, dead ahead hey, hard a port all right, yahhhh come in. Captain this is positively the last straw. Do you realize what that little lord fauntleroy wants me to do . He wants me to put my signature to this damage report. Well, thats not a bad idea. After all, youre the one who let him take the wheel. Im gonna kill him one of these days, mchale. Now you do anything that that miserable brat tells you to do, you read me . Anything, right up until the time his plane leaves for bora luna. But, but. Captain no buts this war is not going to last forever, and i am not going to go home and manage any live bait barge. Now get outta here im a sick man and i think that dunk in the ocean gave me pneumonia. I dont know, youre tongue looks all right. Uh, does it . Good. Get your grubby hands off of me and get outta here out out out all right all right, captain, well go. But im telling ya, that if you let that playboy pal of yours get away with this, theres nothing hell stop at. Hiya, fellas say, uh, bingy, there was a note on my door that said you wanted to see me . Uh, yes, roger, im giving a little Party Tonight at the Officers Club in your honor. Sort of a farewell party. A farewell party, bingy . Yes. But im not going anywhere, bingy. Oh, havent i told ya . Stay . But hes got orders. Youre due at bora luna tomorrow. Well, thats just a formality, they dont want me, any ensign will do so, uh, you can send somebody else, huh, bingy . Well, uh, i. Who . Well, like maybe. Him. Hey, thats not a bad idea, captain. Me . Why, you little pipsqueak now watch it, mchale. Put that away. Whats the matter with you . Roger, cant we talk this over, boy . Bingy, are you going to deny a little favor to the son of a man who took you out of nowhere and could put you right back there . No, no, no, captain. Dont let him push you around. Dont let him push you around yeah, you were right when you called him a miserable brat. Yeah. Idiot. I tell you, youre a disgrace, ensign. Spreading lies like that around. You start packing, youre shipping out. Oh, now wait a minute, captain be reasonable, you just cant do this i can do anything i want. Im in charge here and you got a new exec officer. Now you get out of here get out out out, out, out ok, captain, but im warning you. Yeah, what he said come on, lets go. Well, now that thats settled, i got a tennis date. So, ill see you later, bingy. Boy, just think of what a bang its going to give dad to know that you and i are going to be together. I really want to show you something. Karen o. 1, 2, ready, go its a mystery all is love is love ow ooh ooh. [howling] announcer for great play ideas, visit www. Smallstep. Gov. Well, guess this is it. Boy, i sure hate goodbyes. What a dirty deal. Its a cryin shame. Who does that binghamton think he is . A snivelin coward, thats what all this just to save his crummy job after the war. I get so mad, i could just. Oh, doggone it ow binghamton aw officer. Bingham. I was. Sorry, uh, we didnt see you coming, sir. Here well have this off in a minute. You all right, sir . All right . Oh, oh, oh all right . Oh, yes, yes, im all right. I never felt better in my life. Whats an ear, more or less . Yes, yes. All right, captain, lets have it. You want something from us, right . Oh, uh, i. You think that i want something from. He thinks that i want something from. Yes. Ha ha all right, mchale. Letslets lay our cards on the table. I want that monster off of my base ha ha i am sick and tired of that boy leading me around by the nose. Hes lead me around by the nose long enough. Ive had enough of it, you understand me . Enough, enough, enough you know, it does look like your nose is stretching a little. Get your hands off of me. Well, that should be no problem, captain. You just transfer whitfield on his original orders, and keep mr. Parker here. No, no, no, that wont work, mchale, and his father would know that i shipped him out. Beg. You got yourself a deal, captain. Yeah, all we have to do is scare the daylights out of him. Maybe we can fake a japanese attack. Not enough. Why dont we tie him to a depth charge and. Whammo yeah, whammo skip how about this gorilla suit i swiped from the. Was left over from the u. S. O. Show . This ought to scare the skivvies off of loverboy. Nah. No, no, no, that. Hey, wait a minute. That loverboy cued me onto something. Boys, what would be a fate worse than death for a romeo like that . Beats me. I give up. Well, what else . Getting married ha ha ha ha yeah gather round, boys. Listen to this. Pay attention, will ya . How bout it, virg, everything all set . Righto, skip. The carbines loaded with blanks. The guys are all staked out and Little Flowers rarin to go. Well, afternoon, captain i see youre wastin no time in bringing over our new exec, huh . Well, cant hold up the war, you know. Yeah, yes. No hard feelings, huh, mchale . Aw, no, no, no, no. Its just like i always said, you know, uh, no sense cryin over spilt ensigns. Welcome aboard, roger boy aah help me help me aah aah aah its a gorilla yeah, it is. Chasin chief wataras daughter. Shoot, virgil, shoot. Go get. Get him, shoot, shoot oh, wait, you dropped. [screaming] [all talking at once] wait a minute dont you say. Hurry up hurry up wait a minute hold it hold it hold it i think you got some dirt in your. [growling] [screaming] thats it keep firing, son, keep firing. [gunshots] Little Flower . Little flower, are you all right . All right . This happiest day of my life you saved Little Flowers life i belong you, joe. We get married marr. Married . Is she kidding . Oh, no, no. Shes not kiddin. No, its an old native custom. Yeah. Any man that saves a maidens life, she belongs to him. Bingy, this is ridiculous. No, no, no, no. Listen, the natives take their old customs very seriously. Oh, yeah. Yeah hey listen to that theres the wedding drums already. There isnt anything or anyone thats gonna make me marry her. Hey, yeah, it looks like the new inlaws are arriving. Welcome, uh, chief watara. Greetings, o great and noble warrior. Fondue, fondue knock off small talk. Who the lucky bridegroom . This one, papa he save my life i marry him. Hmm. Welcome to family, son. Ungawa ungawa set up wedding altar. They dont believe in long engagements. You do something about this. Hmm. Not bad teeth, no caps. Grandchildren be plenty healthy. Will you take your dirty hands off of me . Theres not going to be any grandchildren, there is not going to be any wedding and will. You. Let. Me. Go . I never let you go we spend rest of lives in our own little hut uhoh the wedding wreath. Sorry, ensign, it wont be long now. Nonsense. Binghamton, im warning you, oh, yes. Yes, i will. You let this boy alone, you overgrown pygmy ooh shut face, or you end up human dartboard watch it, captain hes right. Why, if any one of these two fellas sneezes, we well, were all dead enough um gah, begora, bora tuba mani wwwhats he saying . Dearly beloved, we are gathered here. Dearly beloved . No, no, wait. You cant do this to me sorry, paleface. Sorry, paleface old native custom. Once ceremony started, got to marry somebody, anybody. Mala, mali, mali, mali. Oh, so long, skip, ill be shipping out for bora luna. Oh, thats what you think im the one thats going, youre staying here to get. Married. But i cant. Im not even engaged you are now, thats an order is that all right with you, chief . You said anybody. All ensign look alike to me. You like . Yeah, i like, i like i think she likes, she likes. Its a deal. Thank you, o noble chief. Thank. Edwards oh, yes, sir. Take ensign whitfield over to the radio shack. Yes, sir hurry, hurry, hurry come on, quick, before the chief changes his mind. Come on, lets go it worked ha ha ha im free im squashed. Well, captain, just as soon as roger leaves, our troubles are over. I wanna tell you, mchale, when you put your mind to something you. It papa oh, greetings, o great chief watara. Greetings, mchale. Who are these phonies . We were just getting ready for halloween. Yes. Yeah, you know, trick or treat well, uh, what brings you here, chief . Oh, hear wedding drums. Come quick. Give bride away, ha oh, no, papa. It is all mistake. You bet it mistake. Chief daughter dont settle for one stripe when can get husband with four. Four stripes . You mean the captain . Little flower marry you. Me . What. No, no, thats out of the question. You see, i already have a wife. What difference . Watara has eight wives. Captain have two. Well, congratulations, wally, looks like the best man won. You idiot. Congratulations you keep your daughter, nothing on earth could make me marry her, nothing easy does it, captain. Here comes junior. Its nice to be in the family, papa. Listen, my planes taking off any second, so i just. Papa . Whos he . Ah, well, this is captain binghamtons new brotherinlaw. Yeah, they wouldnt settle for me, so. He volunteered to take your place. Oh, dad and i will never forget you for this, bingy. And allow me to be among the first to say that i hope that you will be very happy together. You come here, four stripe, and hold Little Flower hand. Ungab gora. Tuva bora, tuva mani. That means, dearly beloved. Whee mchale, that pretty good fun easy does it, captain. Remember this is the deal we made with chief watara. Cheer up, at least it saved you another trip to niagara falls. Now lets see. We got a few more here. Christy. Willy moss. Right here, skip. Admiral gruber . I can dream, cant i . Boy. And virgil. Mmm not bad. Ha ha well, thats about it, boys. Well, ill be seeing you guys. I got to go home. Well, whats the matter, chuck . It says here i got to report for jury duty. Hey, my kid can say daddy your kid . You mean our kid. Were the godfathers. And dont you forget it. Yeah, dont you forget that oh, just look at that doll. Little christina, charlene, leslie, willamina, tinka. Virginia, hettie, and quintilla. Uh. Fujiyama . Oh, yes. Fujiyama. Ha ha ha hey, wait. You didnt hear the best part. Im going to be able to hear her say daddy. What are you talking about . What do you mean hear her . Yeah, really. Our nextdoor neighbor, mr. Potter, has got a ham radio set, and hes going to try and broadcast to us at 5 00 teratupa time on the 23rd the 23rd . Wait a minute wait a minute hey, wait thats tonight how about that . You think binghamton will let us use the base radio tonight . Well, i think once we tell him about it, why, of course he will. After all, hes still a human being. Yeah. I saw him pet a dog once. How about that . In a few hours, im going to be able to hear my kid. Our kid sir, you forgot to dot your i. I know when i dot the is stop looking over my shoulder nobody likes a smart lieutenant. [knock on door] hi, captain. Hi, carpy. Oh. Mchale. Whats the trouble this time . Well, no trouble, sir. No, sir. Were here to make a very special request, sir. And because we know that youre the understanding kind of an officer that thinks first, last, and always of the good of his men. Uhoh. Its worse than i thought. What did you do, torpedo my gig . Oh, no, sir. You torpedoed the admirals gig. Come on now, captain. Youre kidding. Ha ha. I knew it. They got one of our aircraft carriers. No, sir. Youre wrong. Guess again. Its smaller than a breadbox. Theres nothing wrong at all, captain. You see, we are here to ask your permission to use the base radio tonight. You see, quartermaster christopher use the base radio . Oh, no, sir. Nobodys perfect. What . Im sure that if youd just listen, sir, im sure that mchale, i dont know what racket you and your seagoing mafia are mixed up in this time, but whatever it is, this is my answer. Carpenter. Sir. You will draw one thompson submachine gun and 10,000 rounds of ammunition. You will then station yourself outside of the radio shack, and if commander mchale or any of his merry men so much as cast a shadow in your direction, you will shoot to kill. Ayeaye, sir. But, captain, if you heard what we really want, im sure youd give us a break. A break . You want a break, mchale . Ill give you a break, all right. Dont shoot to kill. Shoot them in the foot. Out out out maybe youd understand if you had a baby of your own. If i had a ba him between the eyes. Right between the eyes. Byebye. Im not gonna hear her. Im not gonna hear my little baby say daddy. Boy, of all the crummy deals. And we said binghamton was human. Are we going to take this lying down, skip . No. You can bet your royal skivvies were not going to take it laying down. Now, i know that pete the radioman will go along with us. But weve got to figure out some way of getting carpenter away from that radio shack. I know, skip, but how are we going to do it . Hey, wait a minute, guys. I got an idea. What if we can get that new blonde nurse at the base to take carpy out for a little moonlight stroll . Nah. Hes too g. I. That chicken charlie wouldnt leave his post for a dame. Yeah, but wait a minute. What if the dame turned out to be a damsel in distress . Hmm . A damsel in distress. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Hey, hurry it up, you guys. Its 10 minutes of 5 00. How does he look . Good. You look great. Come on. Virge, you all set . Stay down. Stay down. Now. Now. Oh oh, how dare you, you thief put me down this instant oh, you you put me down halt sailor, put that nurse down. Now thats an order. Help save me somebody save me oh, you brute an officer on duty never leaves his post. Help save me help i may be an officer. But im still a gentleman. Save me somebody save me stop do you hear me, sailor . Stop oh oh, how dare you help save me somebody help me [shouting continues] hi. Oh, hi, skip. Ive got it all wound up for you. Im going out for a smoke. Good, good. I dont know from nothing. Hey, its 5 00 on the button. Hurry up. Shh. [loud squealing] this is w9643 san diego calling c. O. Taratupa. This is victory easy 397 taratupa to w9643. Were reading you and standing by. Hello. Taratupa . Ive got a mrs. Christopher and a little miss christopher waiting to talk to daddy. [click] hello, dear. Hello . How are you, darling . Are you well . Hi, honey. Yeah, im fine. I hope youre well, too. But listen, we havent got much time. Could you put the baby right on . Of course, darling. That was your daddy, dear. Say daddy. Talk to daddy, honey. Sweetheart, talk to daddy. Yeah, honey. Daddys waiting. Say it. Dad. Dy. Daddy. Darling, talk to daddy. Come on, honey. Say daddy. Dada. [static] come on, honey. [speaking japanese] please, darling. Your daddy is waiting. Say daddy. Daddy. [speaking japanese] dad. Dy. Please, honey. Please. Come on. Say daddy. Talk to daddy. Daddy. Come on, honey. Come on. Daddy. [loud squealing] cant you get through . Its the nips for sure, jamming the whole dial. I cant get nothing. But ive got to hear my kid shh well, keep working on it, will you . And hurry. Carpenter will be coming back. [squealing continues] help oh, help save me wont someone save me . Here. What is going on . [gunshots] i order you to stop stop, you fiend stop ooh ooh sir, im sorry. Are you all right, sir . Never mind me i dont know what that sailor sees in that woman, but go after them yes, sir wait a minute. Why arent you at your post . Oh, sir, that poor little nurse. You should have seen that sailor. She was screaming. Watch your language. That poor little nurse . I thought that poor little nurse looked like she eded a shave. Let me take this. Here you are, sir. Look out, sir [machine gun firing] hello, honey. This is your daddy. Say daddy. Come on right now, id settle for a googoo. How dare you hand me a loaded gun follow me weve got to shove off. Come on. Lets go. But ive got to hear my kid come on. Lets go. Come on. Lets go. Take the other windows. Take the other windows. Lets go. Shh shh shh shh shh shh look, look. Wed better split up and meet over at the at the brig. Is that the word youre looking for . Fall in i said in, not out all right, nurse bell, you and your boyfriend, go go trespassing on government property. Operating a military radio illegally. Disobeying the Commanding Officers orders. Luring an officer of the guard from his post. And finally, impersonating a nurse in a combat zone. This is going to be a fun courtmartial. Sir, you cant take it out on the whole crew. They did it just to help me, sir. Is that what they did . Get back in line. Now, captain, as commander of the 73, sir, i insist on taking full blame and responsibility. Blame and responsibility, mchale . How about guilt . We dont like to break up a set, you know. [telephone rings] now, then oh, sir. The phone is ringing. Im not taking any calls. Sir, its the scramble phone from comfleet. Killjoy. Binghamton here. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes, admiral. Yes. The jamming has been getting worse, admiral. Yes. Oh. Well, we here at taratupa think its a distinct pleasure and a privilege, admiral, that you would select us to knock out the nip jamming station. We. Yes. And may i say, admiral oh, i may not . Yes, sir. Thank you. All crews . Well, i know its important, admiral, to send out all available boats, but you see, sir, ive just got the 73 crew up on. 7. Thank you, sir. Ayeaye. Carpenter. You will order all pt boats out to locate and destroy the enemy jamming station immediately. Ayeaye, sir. I presume that means the 73 boat, too . Yes, the 73. The 73. [men cheering] knock it off youre still facing courtmartial and the brig when you get back, and dont you forget it. We wont forget it, sir. Im going to tie a string around my finger. Christy, watch out you almost hit that floating log, boy. Im sorry, skip. I guess my minds about 6,000 miles away. I know, boy. Look, why dont you take a break . Chuck, take over for him, will you . Ah, dont let it get you down. Skip, im getting something. Those nips are back on the air again. Bearing 273 degrees. Bearing 273 . Then thats where theyre at theyre on that island. Boys, prepare to make a landing. Theres still no sign of them. Doggone it. All right, boys. Take 5. Boy, wait till i get my hands on that nip transmitter. Can you imagine that . Keeping christys daughter from saying dada to her daddy. Im telling you, im so mad i could. Put that grenade away, would you, chuck . Yeah . Well, its. Uh, skip, i lost something. What . The pin. You know, it goes in here. I know where it goes. Throw it its a live one is that an order . Thats an order throw it all right. Youre wasting government property, though. Throw it [speaking japanese] hey, chuck, you found the nips come on, boys lets go hey, the nips took off hey, lets go get them, skip hold it. Hold it, boys. Hold it. Ah, its too late. Let them go. We got what we came for anyway. Hey, there she is. Hey, how about that . Now im going to get me a nip jamming station. Ok, everybody back. All right, hold it. Hold it, chuck. Hold it. Hold it, will you, chuck . Stop it with those grenades, huh . Well, we got orders to blow it up. And after all, what they did to christy. I know. I know. But. Say, now. I just got a hot flash here. Willy, we could reach stateside with a shortwave set this powerful, couldnt we . Easy, with a couple of changes. Well, what if, say, at 5 00 tonight, our senor christy hears his little girl say daddy, courtesy of the nips . Hey, could i, skip . Nah. Binghamton will never give us permission. Who says were going to ask for it . Come on. Lets go. Hey, chuck, what are you looking for now . Oh, i lost a pin. Again . Here, let me have that wait a minute, skip. Get over here im trying to tell you, not that pin. To help preserve our environment. I got involved. I boosted tourism in my Farm Community by by painting 55 barn quilts. I got involved. I enjoy gardening and love delivering a fresh supply of produce and flowers to a local shelter. I got involved. Young volunteers have a winning spirit that we think is worth celebrating. Middle and High School Students a prudential spirit of community award. Volunteer roroaching] hey, somebodys coming. Well, how did it go, skip . Fine. Fine. Did you get the boat stashed . Yeah, yeah. As far as anybody else knows, were not back yet. Hurry it up, will you . Its 28 minutes of 5 00. Im trying, but i still have to figure how to make it quit sending that jamming signal. Whats so tough about that . Every cottinpickin part is labeled in japanese dont let that get you down, boy. Fuji and i will translate as we go along. All rightie. What have we got here now . Lets see here. Um. [speaking japanese] rf output. Rf output. Hmm. That could be it. Now give her a. [loud squealing] oh, turn it off. Theres that blasted jamming signal again. Here, lets try this one. [speaking japanese] nah. Um. Hashinka. Oh, the oscillator. Oscillator. [loud squealing] ooh [loud squealing] i wont rest till i find out why mchale and his men were so anxious to break into that radio shack. Neither will i, sir. It was absolutely disgraceful, resorting to such trickery against a fellow officer in the United States navy. [telephone ringing] oh, shut up. Sir, the scramble phone is ringing. The scramble phone is ringing. The scramble phone is ringing. Thats all youre good for, is reporting bells. Binghamton here. Hhhello, admiral. Yes, sir. Oh, youve located the enemy jamming station. Well, thats wonderful, admiral. Well, there must be some mistake, admiral. Yes, sir. 323 degrees by 57 degrees. Yes, sir. Thank you, admiral. Yes, sir. Here, sir. [loud squealing] 323 degrees. By 57. This is the most ridiculous thing ive ever. Mchales island. [loud squealing] [voices speaking japanese on radio] theyve stopped jamming, sir. Shut up. They said something about mchale. Sofkukido the power redistributors that was it, fuji banzai banzai you hear that . Banzai. Its mchale. Hes talking to somebody named fuji. Well, man, it looks like were in business. Business. Thats what theyre doing. Theyve sold out to the nips. Carpenter, write everything down. Yes, sir. Oh, this is beautiful. Oh. This. Is. Beautiful. Not what i say what they say, you nitwit im sorry, sir. Hey, skip, i think your voice has been going out on the air. [click] this switch was on. Never mind. Ive got them. Ive got them. Mchale and his men are traitors. Call out the marines. Get a firing squad. They may even let me pass out the cigarettes and the blindfolds. Quiet, will you . I got them. Theyre coming in now. [men cheering] shh knock it off. Knock it off. [static] this is w9643 san diego calling ve397 taratupa. This is victor easy 397 taratupa to w9643. Were reading you loud and clear. Heres christy. Hi, honey. Gee, im awfully sorry we got cut off last night. But, boy, im sure glad you tried again tonight. Before anything else happens, darling, youve just got to hear the baby. Say daddy. Its daddy, honey. Look. Daddy. Say daddy. Oh, come on, darling. Say, hi, dada. Dada. [making funny sounds] talk to daddy. Yeah. Only little daddy for uncle quinton. Coochie coochie. That always used to get me. [all making baby sounds] dada all right. Come on. Come on. Say daddy. Please say daddy. Shh. I didnt say anything, sir. Shh oh, it is bad condition red its binghamton i go oh, what a time for him to show up if he finds out we didnt turn that radio in, were dead. Now christy will never talk to his kid. Come on. Please, honey. Just one little daddy. Come on, christy. Hurry up. Sign off. Weve got to dump this radio. [crying] come on, boys. Well see if we can head off binghamton. Somebody get that curtain. Hurry up. Come on. Lets go. Dada. Dada. It was not. It came from over there. Well, i can throw my voice. Oh, but you probably dont believe me, just because i lost my dummy. If i had mywatch. Say hello, captain. How are you . Hey, xxx. What do you say . [indistinct] get your hands off of me, you maniac. Dada. Dada. See . Fooled you again. Wasnt he terrific, sir . My lips didnt even move. Oh, shut up, or ill give you a fat lip thats what ill give you. Whats behind that curtain . Well, now get out of my way you men cover me. Im going in. But, captain aha dada oogie boogie, huh . I caught you redhanded talking to the enemy. Carpenter, put that down. It must be a code. Yes, sir. Dada googoo. Was that oogie boogie, sir . Oogie boogie. Now, captain, if youll just let me explain you can explain to the courtmartial, mchale. Ive got you this time. Sir, this is the nip radio. I knew it. Mark it exhibit b. Exhibit b. We captured the jamming station, and we borrowed the radio, but just so christy could hear his kid. He hasnt been talking to any enemy. Oh, is that so . Let me have that thing . Now you hear this, you dada googoo tojo or whoever you are, this is captain wallace b. Binghamton speaking, and im going to wipe out your entire dada googoo spy ring what do you say to that, dada . Dada. Dada. Oh, she said it she said it she said it [cheering] oh, honey, you said it. Oh, darling, she means you. You made her say it thats me shes talking about im daddy im daddy put me down stop that you men are all under arrest for treason. Guards guards oh, now, captain, it certainly isnt treason for a father to want to hear his baby talk, is it . Oh, you were wonderful, captain binghamton. How will i ever be able to thank you . Well, sure. And none of us could get the baby to talk. You were the only one. I was the one that got the baby to talk . How about that . Here. You want to try it again, sir . Yes. I made the baby talk. Ready . Hello, baby. Dada, googoo. Dada. Dada. [cheering] sir. Sir, even if theyre not guilty of treason, you can still throw them in the brig for stealing and using captured enemy equipment and also unauthorized use of army wavelength. You shut up whats the matter with you . Arent you ashamed of yourself, sneaking up on these men, trying to arrest them and everything . But, sir, these notes you told me to take them. Dont you trust anybody . You throw those notes away. Hes a terrible person. Yes, he is. Tell me, what is the little dolls name . Well, were all her godfathers, so lets see, it would be. Christina. Charlene. Leslie. Willomena. Tinka. Virginia. Hettie. And quintilla. Aha. Yeah. And wallacina . Wallacina . Thats the most ridiculous name for ridiculous that we didnt think of it ourselves. Oh. Ha ha. Well, how about it, christy . Ok with you . Ok, skip. Wallacina. Ha ha ha. Wallacina. Wallacina. Yeah. Hello there, little wallacina. Huh . Dada googoo dada. Dada. Dada. [cheering] ouou say. Ok. Its been real nice talking to you, and ill write to you tomorrow. Youve talked to your wife long enough. Let me talk to the baby. Im awfully sorry, but its getting late. We have to sign off. Its the babys bedtime. Well, ill get her to say byebye. [all shouting] all right all right come on now hello, baby. Its daddy binghamton, baby. Say byebye. Say byebye, honey. Thats an order. Maybe it needs more juice. Byebye. Dada. Byebye. Chuck, no whos responsible for this outrage . Carpenter, you arrest them they tried to kill me no, no, no. Wait a minute, captain. It was just an accident. An accident, my foot it was a trap wait a minute, captain. Youre forgetting the byebye, deedee. Ill byebye your deedee for you no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, captain. Listen listen dada. Dada. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. Im mister ed. A horse is a horse, of course, of course that is, of course, unless the horse is the famous mister ed la cucaracha, la cucaracha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha la cucaracha, ala di, di, di. Whee ed. Nobody home. You and that silly boomerang. I told you not to disturb me. Youre working too hard, wilbur. Lets have some fun. I cant. This is the most important assignment i ever had. If mr. Foster likes these sketches, i could become an executive in his company. Even an executive takes a coffee break. But not a boomerang break