[ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, Hillary Clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, way to make history, cubs. While donald trump tweeted, polls show i won world series. Crooked cubs belong in jail. [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. While other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. Oh, you dont know why . Well, take your time. I wont russia. Donald trump will reportedly hold a small gathering on Election Night instead of a large celebration, because he is superstitious. Oh, sorry, i read that wrong. Super racist. [ laughter ] former kkk leader, david duke, told reporters today that if he his elected to the senate he would be Donald Trumps most loyal advocate. When asked what hed do if trump loses, duke said, ill burn that cro [ laughter ] the economist magazine endorsed Hillary Clinton for president this week. While donald trump was endorsed by shootin at stop signs gazette [ laughter ] its all going to be over soon. [ light laughter ] according to a new poll, donald trump and Hillary Clinton are neck and neck in new hampshire, while Chris Christie isnt even neck. Today is National Sandwich day, so you know we hittin da club. [ laughter ] my great shame is that was my favorite of all the jokes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we hitting the club and finally, a cafe if switzerland that was supposed to offer men oral sex along with their coffee, is considering replacing sex workers with highend sex robots. Yeah, but hows the coffee, asked nobody. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is one of my favorite actors. Hes in an incredible new movie called hacksaw ridge. The fantastic vince vaughn is we also have the chief anchor of abc news. George stephanopoulos is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and well have standup comedy from liza treyger. Its a great show. But before we get to all that, with the election still five days away, republicans are already threatening years of political paralysis if Hillary Clinton wins. With some promising to block her Supreme Court nominees for years and others saying she should be for more on this, its time for a closer look. . . [ applause ] seth were in the home stretch and both sides are in overdrive doing everything they can to get people to vote. Tuesday in ohio, for example, president obama told supporters that if they went to the polls to vote early, they could also go to taco bell and get a free taco thanks to a world series promotion. Because ive been watching the because Francisco Lindor stole second base in game one, everyone in america gets a free taco at taco bell tomorrow. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] i mean, this guy was so fired up about the free taco, look at him i have never seen anybody so excited about a free taco. This guy r h seth although to be fair, they shouldnt [ laughter ] they shouldnt make joe biden stand in the crowd like that. [ laughter and applause ] but what by the way, what a sad state of affairs it is when you say get out and vote. We have to stop an insane man from having the nuclear codes. And people go, eh. But you say, free taco, and theyre all, yes, we can [ laughter ] now in the closing stretch, the suddenly the very chatty fbi has discovered more emails potentially related to Hillary Clintons private server. And republicans are pulling out all the stops. In fact today texas senator ted cruz, who once called trump a pathological liar after trump attacked his wife and accused his dad of being involved in the assassination of jfk, campaigned for trump in iowa. And as he was getting ready to board the jump jet, cruz pushed back on suggestions he wasnt fully behind trump. To write stories suggesting divisions among republicans. Ill make a point im getting ready to get on a gigantic airplane that has Donald Trumps name painted on the side of it. Seth in fact this is very similar to the airplane Lyndon Johnson was sworn in on after my dad killed jfk. [ laughter ] nonetheless, the investigation of hillarys emails is a political gift for trump, as long as he can stay on message and not say anything crazy. Himself a pep talk on stage at a rally in florida yesterday. In six days we are going to win the great state of florida. And we are going to win the white house. Gonna win it. Its feeling like it already, isnt it . Weve got to be nice and cool. Nice and cool. Right . Stay on point, donald. Stay on point. [ laughter ] nice and easy. Seth he had to talk to himself about acting sane like hes on a diet. [ laughter ] okay, donald, there is cake in the break room, but you dont need cake. [ laughter ] a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. [ applause ] its swimsuit season, donald. Its swimsuit season. But the problem isnt trumps straying off message, the problem is his message. He is trying to cast illegitimate president who would be mired in legal crisis for years. And his rhetoric, and that of the people around him, has become increasingly rabid and unhinged. At a recent rally in nevada, for example, one of trumps warm up speakers was right wing media personality Wayne Allyn Root. And by the way, when there your name is Wayne Allyn Root there are two careers available to you. Right wing radio host or river city strangler. [ laughter ] root described this fantasy he had about hillary and a key aide. I heard a rumor, i dont know if you heard this rumor, but while were all gathered here, all the networks have walltowall coverage of a live police chase and its hillary in a white ford bronco. [ light laughter ] shes got shes got huma driving and theyre headed for the mexican border. Future tv movie. Its called driving miss hillary. And the ending, if we all get our wish, the ending is like thelma and louise. seth okay, first of all, the way this election is going, we all want to be thelma and louise. [ light laughter ] also i dont know why youd bring up driving miss daisy. Wasnt that a movie about a black man who helps a white lady get where she wants to go . [ laughter and applause ] thats the last movie you should be bringing up. And then there have been calls to violence from Trump Supporters if he loses. For example, former gop congressman joe walsh recently tweeted that if trump loses, quote, im grabbing my musket. Walsh was asked about that comment on msnbc this week and wasnt especially convincing in trying to defend it. Why tweet that . Why put that out there . Well, first off, its a musket. Its a craig its a metaphor. Lot of folks have a problem with that. Especially considering the current Political Climate that were in. Craig, i said musket. If i had said gun, thats one thing. A musket it is a gun. No, no. Okay, fine, then take me literally. Why the hell would i advocate anybody to grab a musket . Nobody can find a musket anywhere, craig. I challenge to you find a working musket. Seth why does he have to find you a musket . [ laughter ] this isnt a scavenger hunt. You have to find an autographed photo of luke perry. [ laughter ] the republicans are using increasingly unhinged rhetoric to warn about the consequences of electing hillary. Many are even threatening to impeach her without any evidence of a crime before she ever takes office. And if they cant do that, theyll settle for the next best thing preventing her from filling any vacancy on the Supreme Court for her entire fouryear term. In recent days a number of sitting gop senators, including for blocking any clinton nominee tore supme court forever. If Hillary Clinton becomes president , i will do everything i can do to make sure that four years from now we still have an opening on the Supreme Court. Seth four years. Poor merrick garland. Do you remember him . The guy obama nominated to fill the seat eight months ago . He is probably just wandering around the halls of Congress Like tom hanks in the terminal. [ laughter ] the hypocrisy heres brazen when you consider the republicans excuse for not confirming garland in the first place was that we should wait for the election and let the Voters Decide who they want to fill the seat. The American People should be afforded the opportunity to weigh in. We think that the American People need a chance to weigh in on this issue. Lets let the American People decide. It aught to be put off out of this toxic arena right now and put off until after the election. This should be a decision for seth thats right. Let the election decide, just like my dad decided to kill jfk. [ laughter ] trump and the gop have destroyed some of our most important political norms. They want to jail or impeach anyone they disagree with. And if they dont get to wield power, they want to paralyze the government so no one can. You would think that would be enough to get people to the polls. You know, that or everyone in america gets a free taco at taco bell tomorrow. Seth yeah this has been a closer look. . . Well be right back with more late night, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] . . vo maybe it was here, when you hit 300,000 miles. Or here, when you walked away without a scratch. Every subaru is built to earn your trust. 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I thought i was managing my moderate to severe crohns disease. I didnt think there was anything else to talk about. But then i realized there was. So, i finally broke the silence with my doctor is for people like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohns disease. In clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. And many achieved remission. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. If youre still just managing your symptoms, talk with your gastroenterologist about humira. . . [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. And please, give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, weve been incredibly lucky all week long to have an incredible musician sitting in with the 8g band. She is the former drummer for music legend prince. And the first single from her new husband and wife duo, counter culture, womens institution, is out now. Hannah welton, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for a fantastic week, and please come back soon. Now, if you have been following the news lately, then you know that last week was one of all right pal, take a hike. Oh, sorry seth. Someones trying to get into the vip area. Seth jim, theres no vip area at our show. What are you talking about . I got your handwritten note, saying that you wanted me to rope off the vip area just for your nephew, derrick. Its got your signature and everything. [ laughter ] seth derrick, get over here [ audience oohs ] i am so sorry about this, everyone. My 14yearold nephew, derrick, is in town, and i promised his mom id look after him. But it looks like i cant leave him alone for two seconds. So now he has to sit here with me at the desk where he cant get into any trouble. [ laughter ] hey, uncle seth. Seth hi. [ laughter ] i like your makeup. Seth uhhuh. Eric i mean, derrick, what are you doing . Why are you [ laughter and applause ] derrick, why do you think you deserve a vip section . Illustrated, ive sort of been getting bullied a lot. And ive been getting bullied a lot at school specifically. And i just thought if i had my own safe space, maybe like people would leave me alone. Im sorry. Seth oh gosh, derrick, i didnt [ audience aws ] i didnt know you were getting bullied at school. Why didnt you tell me, bud . Because i dont know, its embarrassing. Seth no, buddy, look, i can help you handle bullies. I know how to handle bullies. Yeah, thats nice uncle seth, but i dont need to know how to curl up into a ball and scream like a girl. [ laughter derrick, i can teach you how to talk yourself out of bad situations with bullies. Really . Seth yeah. I do this for a living. I talk to people for my job. And im pretty good at it. Here, lets role play. You pretend to be a bully and ill pretend to be you, okay . Okay. Um, hey, dork face, why are you such a dork . Seth and then well, you know what i would say to that, id say, id rather be a dork than rude and mean. So why dont you get out of my face . Yeah. Okay. I guess i could see thats pretty good. Seth yeah. Could we try switching roles . Seth okay, sure. Uh, yes so ill be the bully. Hey, derrick, your hair looks whack yeah . Well at least im not some bignose celebrity asskisser giving tugjobs to dlisters while my balls sit in a jar on Lorne Michaelss book shelf. [ laughter ] get out of my face, secondrate jimmy fallon. [ applause ] seth jesus, derrick. [ light laughter ] yeah, yeah, that felt really empowering, uncle seth. Seth no, derrick, what you what said was really hurtful. Well, you said my hair was whack. Seth yeah, but then you said a bunch of super specific stuff. Are you even getting bullied at school . Yes actually, hes not getting bullied. In fact, hes the biggest bully in school. Seth im sorry, who are you . And he was supposed to be in detention today, but someone took him out of school. Seth oh, my god. Let me guess, you got a handwritten note with my signature on it . No, just this voice mail. [ beep ] oh, hi principal sheila. Yeah, this is derricks uncle. Televisions seth meyers. Yeah, im gonna need to take derrick out of school for a couple of days on account of i just got stung by a bunch of jelly fish. And uh, it stings pretty bad. [ laughter ] i just got to have that peepee. So, thanks for understanding. Uh, i love you, byebye. Seth well obviously i did not get stung by a bunch of jelly fish. Oh, so you just want to get peed on for no reason . Seth no. [ light laughter ] no i i i can explain. Seth thank you, derrick. So some people find that the only way they can reach sexual climax is by getting urinated on. Seth no, no, derrick. Derrick, whats the matter with you . This isnt the kid [ laughter ] this isnt the kid i know, buddy. It isnt. The kid i know had a good heart. Remember when we went to the susset county pumpkin chunkin . You gave your binoculars to that little kid so they could watch em shoot the pumpkin out of the cannon. You remember that . What happened to that kid i knew well, the truth is, i know i shouldnt have done that stuff. I guess i was just acting out, because last week you missed my piano recital. Seth oh, god, the recital. I looked out into the audience and i saw one empty seat, and i knew. Seth oh, gosh, derrick. Now i completely understand why youre upset. I cant believe i forgot about your recital. I even dedicated a song to you. But you werent there. I guess i could play it for you now. Seth oh, that would be great. You could use elis keyboard. Thats okay. I brought my own. Roll it on out, alex. Seth you, wait [ cheers and applause ] seth you brought your own baby grand piano . Yeah, i bring it everywhere i go. I practice a lot. So can i play you a song . [ cheers and applause ] this is dedicated to my uncle seth. Seth oh, thanks, buddy. . Sometimes in our lives we all have pain . But if we are wise we know that theres always tomorrow . . Pee on seth pee on his face and in his hair all over his body . . For it wont be long til im gonna need somebody to pee on . . You just call on me brother if you need a friend . . We all need somebody to pee on . . We might have a problem that youd understand we all need somebody pee on his face and in his hair all over his body . . For it wont be long and im gonna need somebody to pee on . . Just call on me brother when you need a friend to pee on . . I just might have a problem that youd understand we all need somebody to pee on . Everybody sing . Pee on his face and in his hair all over his body . Im gonna need somebody to pee on . . Pee on seth pee on his face . Sing . And in his hair all over his body . . For it wont be long that im gonna need somebody to pee on . Come on now pee on pee on pee on . . . [ cheers and applause ] seth youre a terrible youre a terrible kid. I know, i know. Seth well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] . . Simulation initiated. [beeping] take on any galaxy with a car that could stop for you. Simulation complete. The new nissan rogue. Rogue one a star wars story. In theaters december 16th. Devour, say my name the little sounds your crispy bacon makes drive me crazy. You naughty little. Did you just spank your lunch . Yes. Nice. Food you want to fork. Alright, hows this for a tv show. Sous chef. Lawyer by day, prepcook by night. Also, his name is sous. No. Sloppy joseph. A middleaged man whos trying to get his life together, but he cant hes to sloppy. Huhhh no here you go. I got this. I get cash back so its like everythings on sale. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Everythings on sale a Home Shopping show takes place on a sailboat. Thats the one banana boat dessert on me. Look at you being all lactose tolerant. The easiest decision youll make all week is to shop kohls this weekend because kohls will give you tax break savings with an extra 10 percent off and an extra 10 dollars off your purchase of 25 dollars or more everyone gets kohls cash too kohls. After dark, we come. The brave shirts and the still in work shirts, united against all dress codes. The glow gals, illuminated by a thousand likes. The lords of the playlist. The coat check skippers. The midnight feasters. And the last train sprinters. We are the night. And at progressive, we let you compare our progressive direct rate. Great deals for reals . And our competitors rates sidebyside, so you know youre getting a great deal. Saving the moolah. [ chuckles ] as you can see, sometimes progressive isnt the lowest. Not always the lowest not right now. You said i was gonna be the hype man. No, we said we wouldnt do it. Im sorry, we were talking about savings. I liked his way. Chaching talking about getting that moneeeey talking about getting that moneeeey savings worth the hype. . . [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our first guest tonight is a very talented actor who you know from the films wedding crashers and old school. He stars in mel gibsons world war ii drama, hacksaw ridge, which is in theaters tomorrow. Lets take a look. Gentlemen, i want you to meet private desmond doss. Ap not believe in violence. He does not practice violence. He will not even deign to touch a weapon. You see, private doss is a Conscientious Objector. So i plead with you, do not look to him to save you on the battlefield. Because he will undoubtedly be too busy wrestling with his conscience to assist sarge, thats not true, sarge. Private as you were [ cheers and applause ] . . . . Seth i love it. I am exhausted. This is the very last show im doing on a very long press tour. Seth yep. But i made a commitment. Im not going to come not come see seth meyers. I adore seth meyers. Seth thank you. As we all know, this is a gentleman that likes to charm in front of camera. But some of you might not know, pretty good gunslinger with the writing behind the camera. Seth well, thank you. And i said, i cant not come to the show, but i am gonna to be honest with you, i have no idea what the name of the show is, seth meyers. Seth oh, my goodness. [ laughter ] well i this, i cannot tell tonight, because this is not a lot of people promote the merch. I will give you the jacket off of my back if you could tell me the name seth oh, my goodness. This is fantastic. Of the show. I have no idea [ cheers and applause ] seth thank you so much for this. This is going to be big for us. It is great to be here. Seth its great to have you here. And thank you so much for this wonderful knickknack in my room. I thought, why let this go to waste . Seth yeah. What good is a flower if its not smelled . [ light laughter ] seth there you go. And i thought, you know what, stylists be damned, im going to seth meyers im going seth meyers tonight. [ cheers and applause ] sometimes, sometimes youll see someone in the hat, someone in a tshirt. Very rarely the full set. Well, guess what . Checkmate. Seth and congratulations to you on the cubs thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] seth lifelong cub fan. Yes seth where did you watch . I was maybe going to go to the game seth yeah. But as i said, i have a commitment to the seth meyers show. [ laughter ] in new york city. Seth i would have understood. I would have no, no. Theres no understanding. A promise is a promise. Seth if they ever go another 108 years, you can skip me. Good morning america commitment that was tied to this as well. Seth okay, gotcha. But either way, the point is, im here. But i watched it so, i watched it here in new york city with mel gibson, the director. Luke bracy, who was on your show seth yep, fantastic young actor. A charming, dazzling, young australian. Thats right. And some of the other team that was there. So we watched the game and it was exciting. Did you find this game exciting . Seth i found it very exciting you were on you mentioned did you have did you have a dog in the fight . Seth i didnt. But i was as a red sox fan, i was im very happy that one of those cities would have relief that i felt. The relief i felt in 2004. Relief feels like. Seth is it wonderful . Its unbelievable. I mean, its just crazy to feel that, you know, ive always believed, and this year it actually came true. So it was even that last atbat, you know, there was a guy that if he hit a home run that would have been in the other direction. Seth yeah. So when the final out happened, it was almost that moment of did this really finish off . Seth its a great youre about to enter a great period of freedom in your life, where youll just care a little bit less about it all. Yes. [ laughter ] seth its really nice. Yes, yes, yes. Seth youll start seeing the people in your lives. Your family, they come into focus now. Yes. Seth and you have children i look forward to that healthy experience. Seth yes. You have kids. Did they follow the cubs . Do they care at all about this . As much as a fiveyearold can, whos forcefed it. Seth yeah. My daughter is almost six. My son is three. People say to me, well gosh, do they even know what this means . And i said, no. But why would i belabor them with this painful history . Seth yeah. Right . Like for all they know, the cubs are a great team. Lets keep it that way. [ laughter ] seth yeah, exactly. Why not, right . Seth now they can move on to this brave new world, that were all we just love the cubs. They seem to win. Seth you got to sing take me out to the ball game. Yes, the offers came in. Seth youve done it before. Well, the offers came in. I didnt know that they wanted to travel with the play pippin. But im open to it. [ light laughter ] seth there you you answered the call. I answered the singing call, thats right. Seth it must have been fun. Youve done it before, but to do it at the world series atmosphere, must have been fantastic. It was. It was great just to be there and to be a part of it. And to sing the stretch was a lot of fun. I mean, we were down a lot in that game, so it was hard to try to figure out how youre going to muster it. Seth right and so then this must be nice. Heres what happened, they were down 7 [ laughter ] its a valid point. I like a direct conversation. [ laughter ] stick with us, this is going to go somewhere. [ light laughter ] so we were down 71 in that moment, seth yeah. But a lot of people tweeted afterwards that from the time i sang, right, even though that game was late and we lost, that the score became undeniable for the cubs. And a lot of people see that seth oh, i see. As the catalyst moment. Seth turning point [ light laughter ] that was a turning point. Seth turning point. Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] seth they lost that game. Again, and they couldnt catch up. But we did score one run. Then we won three straight. Seth yeah, so i mean look, im just a fan at the game. But theres a lot of people out there putting the high beams on this guy. And guess who this guy is . The seth meyers show, baby. Seth there you go, perfect. [ laughter ] come on. Seth congratulations on this film. Thank you. Seth you mentioned luke was on last night, so i was talking to him about it. This is based on a true story of this Conscientious Objector who then saved 75 was it, lives . Amazing. When i read the story, i never heard of it. Had you . Seth i had not. And its a true story and it powerful to me was, the war is terrible im stating, you know, understating it. But in most cases or a lot of cases, people really digress, you know, to survive. But this guy consistently, not just in the moment, would go out unarmed to help people and to bring them back to safety. And would do it even for people that was not on the same team, for the enemy. He just, you know, saw people in that. So its really an incredible story. I was just so moved when i read the script that there was someone out there that l and you know, they actually had to kind of tone down some of the achievements he did, because its just too remarkable, the harms way and the things that he did. Seth and then you play a drill sergeant, which is not a role youve ever played before. But then i was thinking, you kind of, over the course of your career have played drill sergeants that werent drill sergeants. Right. Seth like i feel in swingers youre kind of a fun drill sergeant. Yes, yes, thats right. [ laughter ] seth youre just getting everybody in line, but for a different thing. Thats right. Seth not war, but like going out. Lets meet some ladies. Were not going to blow anything so in way i thought, oh this is a departure for you. But the more i wchated, im like no this is kind of it was a return home. Seth it was a return home. [ light laughter ] yes. Seth it is always such a pleasure to see you. Such a pleasure. Seth congratulations on the film. In fact, please come back soon. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for representing. Vince vaughn, everybody hacksaw ridge is in theaters tomorrow. Well be right back with george stephanopoulos. [ cheers and applause ] . . 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[ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our next guest is the chief anchor of abc news. He hosts Good Morning America weekday mornings on abc, as well as the Network Sunday show, george stephanopoulos. [ cheers and applause ] . . Seth how are you . Im great. How are you . Seth good, so were coming a little late for me but seth yeah, this is very late for you, and i appreciate you making the time. You got to be up first thing in the morning. But, i want to talk to you about this election, because its gone on for a long time. And sometimes there are things that happen earlier in the election, that you look back on, and theyre sort of an artifact all going to go. And i want to show a clip. Think i know where youre going. Seth so this is representative Keith Ellison was on your show, and this was you and rest of the panel, reacting to what he said was the potential of a trump nomination. Lets take a look. Anybody, well, from the democratic side of the fence, who, who thinks that, who is terrified of the possibility of president trump, better vote. Better get active. Better get involved. Because this man has got some momentum. [ laughter ] i know you dont believe that. But i want to go on. [ laughter ] sorry to laugh. Seth i mean [ applause ] i im not judging you because and he didnt believe it. Seth i look, i have said on this show many times, when it first started, ive misjudged him. Ive been wrong at every turn. Have you ever seen anything like this . We all got it wrong. Were all humbled, by this. But think about that, that i guess, that was last july. By then, hed already called john mccain a loser. Seth yeah. Seth yep. Of course hed already we already knew he gave more money to democrats than republicans. Been married three times. Did not have republican positions. Yet he got the nomination. Seth and yet, here we are. Its an incredible place to be. Five days away. Seth and now with you, the fact that you cover, you know, this six days a week, tensions are very high in this election on both sides. Everywhere. Seth and it seems like, is it safe to say, that you receive criticisms from both sides in your day to day . Its hard to walk down the street right now. Seth yeah. Because everybody is so keyed sides are angry. Both sides are anxious. Theyre yelling. But i do have its i have this one woman in my neighborhood. Seth okay. Who, i guess shes around, 70 lets say. But shes, you know, shes trying. Shes wearing a leather jacket, leather coat. Every time i walk down the street she keys in on me, walks right up to my face and whispers, disgusting. [ laughter ] that was one day. Then a few days la d and i see her coming, she keys in on me. Same thing. Walks right up into my face. Bastard. [ laughter ] finally the third time, it was a couple days later, she did it again. And i finally just turned around and i had picked up a cup of coffee. And she was Still Standing on the corner when i got back. I just went up to her and said, can you please not do that again . No problem. [ laughter ] seth she agreed to it . She did. For now. Seth that story might say more about new york than this election. [ laughter ] because you think its new york . Yeah. Seth people feel but also, a lot of people are seth yeah, and another thing you know, i think the press has played an interesting role, you know, there was a lot of talk about how the press covered trump. But now theres a lot of talk about how trump is sort of framing the press as a villain. The enemy, absolutely. Seth the enemy. And so for those of you in journalism right now, like, have you ever seen an attack like this . No, i mean, hes singling people out from the crowd. And his, you know, i dont really go out into the rallies so much. But our reporters actually have to have security at his rallies, because everybody gets so riled seth do you think there is any chance, based on the outcome, that this riled feeling will subside . Or do you think were gonna have, sort of, a long riled tale . We could be no matter who wins, we could be in for a long, long endless campaign, in some ways. You know, trump is promising to investigate hillary if he wins. Congress has promised to investigate her if she wins as well. I mean, this could go on, forever. Seth yes. It doesnt seem that a peaceful and youve got two candidates, yeah, who the public just doesnt like. Seth yeah. Weve never seen anything like this before, where you have two candidates, a week away from the election, that the majority of americans dont like at all. Seth yeah. Something went really wrong. [ laughter ] i also want to ask mostly i feel like anyone who hasnt seen the war room, which is a fantastic documentary. You worked on the 1992 president ial campaign with james carville. And i want to show a still from it, because the problem about working on a campaign in 1992, is fashion was not great. Not a good thing, no. Seth and there you are rocking rolled up sleeve, jean jacket. [ laughter ] oversized jean jacket, yeah. Seth a really big jean jacket. But im especially i want to point it out, because i do a show called documentary now with bill hader and fred armsten. And we did an episode based on this. And i think they did a really good job. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] nailed it seth and have your kids seen the war room . Have they seen the original documentary . No, the sad thing is theyve seen your documentary, not the real one. [ laughter ] no interest at all in the real seth all right, well there you go. And thank you so much for being here. Best of luck getting through the next five days. [ cheers and applause ] you too, thanks for having me. Seth thanks for making the time. George stephanopoulos, everybody. Good morning america airs weekday mornings on abc and this week airs sundays. Well be right back with standup from liza treyger. [ cheers and applause ] . . Jack be nimble, jack be quick, jack knocked over a candlestick onto the shag carpeting. And his pants ignited into flames, causing him to stop, drop and roll. With renters insurance. Because all his belongings went up in flames. Jack got full replacement and now has new pants he ordered from banana republic. Visit geico. Com were going to prove just how wet and sticky your current gel antiperspirant is. Now were going to show you how degree dry spray is different. Degree dry spray. Degree. It wont let you down. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The new ford escape. Life is a sport. We are the utility. Be unstoppable. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. A projector. A camera that actually zooms. Its a phone you can change again and again and again. Hello moto. Get excited world. Moto is here. The new moto z with motomods. Buy one moto z droid, get one free. . . [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our next guest is a very funny comedian who can be seen here in new york. Her album, glitter cheese, is available on amazon and itunes. Please welcome, liza treyger. [ cheers and applause ] . . Yay oh, my god, im so happy to be here. Are you guys feeling great . [ cheers and applause ] awesome. I love fall in new york. Its just like beautiful and perfect and its like, its reminder that when its warm out and my thighs touch, they bleed. So [ laughter ] ow, it hurts. I should get skinny, but im tired. [ laughter ] but i hate it i hate when people try to give you advice, though, on how to get in shape. Like you havent thought about it. Its so irritating. My friend, kenny, was like, why dont you try eating yogurt with fruit in the morning . And its like, i will murder your family. [ laughter ] how dare you, how dare you talk to me about yogurt, like i never saw it at the store. [ laughter ] just between cottage cheese and milk, i saw nothing . No, kenny, i get yogurt. Thank you so much. I mean, like i know these things. Like i know i shouldnt order things for the table. But pancakes for the table, thats a power move. [ laughter ] and i just dont want to stop. But sometimes i do wish that i could just eat, like, a few bad oysters. And not for a fullfledged poisoning, im not a psycho. [ laughter ] but like three days in the hospital. Just to jumpstart, you know . Like, extra rare. I hope this is it. You know . [ laughter ] i just want to get poisoned. I dont know. Eventually ill have to do something and get skinny, just because like my personality is not getting better. [ laughter ] and thats the way life works. The better you look, the more of a monster can you be. Its really magic. Like hot girl life is the best life. You can do anything you want. If youre a super hot girl, you can just be sitting on a date slitting your wrists and a guy would be like, oh, shes just passionate. [ laughter ] but i dont hate it. Like im not i understand it. We all do weird things to get laid. You know what i mean everybody. Everybody does weird things to get laid. Like, no one likes to hear an acoustic guitar. But you listen, you know. [ light laughter ] like, wonderwall sounds really good. So im not mad about it. Im also guilty of it, too. Like i excuse my hot friends behavior all the time. I have one friend, stacey, im like, yeah, shes racist, but her thighs dont touch. Shes good for the group. Bring her. [ laughter ] we need her there. Thats where men have it better. Thats where i think all gender inequality comes from is that mens looks dont matter as much. Like, as a dude you can overcome your physical flaws and have sex with people you dont deserve. And that is where all our problems arise. Thats it. Because you can overcome it all. Just be good at something. Like even if its bowling, i promise there will be a woman thats impressed by you. [ laughter ] like it is magic out there. Like this is how awesome it is to be a dude. There are men, right now, that leaving hair right here with a bun and living. Okay . [ laughter ] and im up here just like oh, if i just eat a couple bad oysters, everything will be good. Like that that is how crazy it is. And men wouldnt do anything that got them laid less. Never. Which means these guys are getting it in. These spoiled fruit samurai are running around town [ laughter ] and women are having sex with them. Like, that is amazing. Any man that can overcome it all, just be good at something. The devil. [ laughter ] his face is a characature of his own face. [ laughter ] but he makes the best movies ever, so now he gets to have sex with every i mean, its just incredible. Like if you are man and no one wants to sleep with you, youre worthless. There is really no two ways about it. And dont be mad at women, you get better. Because if youre man and no one want to sleep with you, that means youre not funny, smart, you dont have a good personality. Youre not confident, successful, rich, athletic, artistic, creative, handy. I mean, can you learn a trick on a skateboard . Can you figure that out . [ laughter ] can you figure it out . Can you mow a lawn . Like what are you doing . [ laughter ] what are you doing . Women are waiting for you to be good at something. Like i saw man walk a dog with no leash. I was like, oh, that dog respects him. Im sure hes got a lot going on. [ laughter and applause ] like that is how easy it is. Even murderers get letters in prison. And women are like, oh, a day job and hobby, im listening. [ laughter ] like the world is there for you. And i know thats harsh. But like, i just cannot stop thinking about gender and relationships and maybe its because i majored in sociology. I dont know if there are other receptionists tonight, but like [ laughter ] i just i cant stop thinking about it and i annoy myself. Because i know is so annoying to complain about dating at all. Especially because my grandparents, they met in a concentration camp. Im just like, mah, tinders the worst. [ laughter ] you know, but damn, grandpa, how much game did [ laughter ] you know, pretty good. All right, thanks so much, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] seth that was fantastic. Liza treyger, everybody. Vernon im Monica Vernon, and i approve this message. Congressman blums Smear Campaign misleading and false. The truth Monica Vernon donated every pay raise to charity and cut taxes for us. But multimillionaire blum broke his word, blum wasted even more of your tax dollars on himself. Worse, he tried to cut medicare and raise the retirement age. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to vince vaughn, george stephanopoulos, liza treyger hanna welson, the 8g band stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . . Carson good evening. This is last call, with me, carson daly. 97. 1 amp radio is our backdrop tonight for the show, and we do have a great one coming your way