Transcripts For KYW The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170415

Army has a great defense and also nuclear weapons. Thats true, but i wouldnt count villanova out just yet. They have the explosive scoring power of allamerican josh hart. Yes, but the russian army has proved tenacious on the eastern front. They ate their own dead. Im going to make a bold prediction and say the russian army makes it to the final four. I agree with that, but in the end i think either the russians lose to duke or duke is tossed in a siberian labor camp. Either way, its going to be a great tournament. For everybody here at cbs sports, good night its the late show with Stephen Colbert cheers and applause tonight stephen welcomes Ewan Mcgregor, Finn Wittrock, and musical guest the shins, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen whoo hey cheers and applause whats up . Good to see you. Thanks, everybody piano riff well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. I hope everyone is staying safe and warm tonight because were expecting a huge blizzard. Im hearing up to 18 inches of snow from what the Weather Channel has dubbed winter storm stella. For the latest on the storm, lets go to the Weather Channels jim cantore. Stella laughter stephen thanks, jim. You stay safe out there. laughter you think he would be wearing a winter coat or Something Like that. Its very surprising hes dressed that way. Quick reminder to everybody who may not know this, the Weather Channel has no authority to name anything. They are not part of the government. laughter in fact, i have as much authority to name things as they do, so, because were expecting 18 inches of snow, even though just last week it was 60 degrees, im calling this winter storm crazy balls. suspenseful music cheers and applause yeah, thats much more likely. Jon pretty crazy, pretty crazy. Stephen speaking of crazy balls the gops Health Care Plan came out last week. piano riff laughter and, so far, its popular with everyone. Except doctors, hospitals, the insurance industry, patients, the elderly, democrats, republicans, and, uh, whats the word. Mortals. laughter yeah. These mortals, they need so much care. cheers and applause and this just happened this afternoon, the Congressional Budget Office released its official analysis of the g. O. P. s healthcare bill and they found that 24 million americans will lose coverage under the plan. Now audience reacts jon oh, man stephen okay, okay. But keep in mind, thats 24 Million People by 2026. And, without health insurance, a lot of those people wont live that long anyway. laughter yesterday, speaker of the house and personal trainer who high fives way too hard paul ryan went on face the dickerson to get ahead of the cbo report. The one thing i am certain will happen is cbo will say, well, gosh, not as many people will get coverage. Stephen well gosh not as many people will get coverage. Gee willickers, i need chemo cheese and crackers, i cant afford to go to the doctor. Holy toledo, i shouldve identified my next of kin, because. Fiddlesticks, im dead laughter applause yeah, doesnt sound so bad when its folksy. Jon yeah, right. Stephen gosh, golly applause piano riff so, anyway, a lot of people could end up losing their healthcare. Speaking of losing it donald trump laughter as you all recall, a week ago donald trump pinched out a couple of Early Morning tweets accusing barack obama of wiretapping trump tower before the election. Now, trump offered no evidence and then demanded that congress go out and find some evidence. Well, today is the deadline set by congress for Justice Department to hand over anything that might exist. So far, brace yourself laughter who could have seen that coming . Well cheers and applause who saw that . Who could have predicted that . Uh, everyone, including paul ryan. Have you seen anything to suggest there are wiretaps . No. Stephen okay, you dont even want to think about it for a second . No. laughter stephen okay, but President Trump had four tweets specifically accusing no. laughter stephen okay. So, that means youre going to cancel the investigation . No. laughter stephen do you have any idea what you should say about this . No. Stephen okay, fair enough. cheers and applause piano riff ryans reaction here isnt that surprising. Now, to believe trumps claims, youd need a shaky grasp of reality, and zero regard for the truth. Sean spicer today laughter seems like a good guy. Seems like a good guy. cheers and applause if someone had to represent me, id go with sean spicer. Jon yeah. laughter stephen today, sean spicer attempted to downplay the president s wiretap claim. The president used the word wiretap in quotes to mean broadly surveillance and other activities. Stephen sean, i think youre grasping at straws. laughter i think youre funny bunny. I think youre laughter i dont literally mean grasping at straws, of course. I mean deeply troubled. laughter then seany got a little spicy. The bottom line is, the question that you still have not answered is i have answered it can you say affirmatively that, whenever the president says something, we can trust it to be real . If hes not joking, of course laughter stephen okay if hes not joking how hard is it to tell when the president is joking . the president means it unless hes joking. And its easy to tell the difference. I mean, just look at when he took the oath of office. Preserve, protect and defend the constitution of the United States so help me god. Bazinga laughter applause stephen he always throws that on the end, right . Bazinga and spicer wasnt the only member of team trump cleaning up the tweet storm. Trump adviser and stepmom who is trying to replace your mother, kellyanne conway, explained yesterday that just because theres no evidence that his phone was wiretapped doesnt mean trump is wrong. There was an article this week that talked about how you can surveil someone through their phones, through their certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways, and microwaves that turn into cameras. Stephen its true. Its true. laughter microwaves that turn into cameras. How do you think we film this show . laughter jim, show them camera three over there. Show them what weve got over there. cheers and applause there it is. piano riff but, conways microwave comment heated up online, so today she explained to chris cuomo why her claims may have been a little off. Chris, im not inspector gadget. laughter stephen yes, okay, chris . Okay . piano riff inspector gadget had all sorts of tools at his disposal gadget skates, gadget copter. Kellyanne conway only has one move gogo alternative facts laughter cheers and applause piano riff oh, then she kept talking. I dont believe people are using the microwave to spy on the trump campaign. However, i have im not in the job of having evidence. Stephen okay. Who has that evidence job . Because its certainly not paul ryan or tom price, and it would be nice to know if obama was spying on everyone through the popcorn setting on our microwaves. laughter ding oh, excuse me. My hot pockets done. cheers and applause oh, mmm, mmm mmm oh, mmm. Ahhh cheers and applause by the way, president obama. I miss you cheers and applause actually, can i come in there with you . Can i just can i just can you please can i just i just want to laughter applause laughter jon nice. Stephen we need a bigger microwave. laughter now i want to talk about donald trump here, but not the president. The one that looks like hes wet all the time, donald jr. laughter okay . He was at a gop fundraiser this weekend in texas, and he really knew how to win over the crowd, saying stephen dude, you live on the upper east side. laughter the only thing you see are goldendoodles wearing rain shoes. laughter applause piano riff jon come on stephen making hissing sound laughter a lot of people have been worried about conflicts of interest because donald trump senior owns the trump organization. Now, hes turned it over to his son, and don junior assured the crowd that, since his dad took office, quote stephen aww. crowd says, aww. thank you. A little late but thank you. laughter poor don junior. You know, it reminds me of that old song. The cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. The silver fork and the silver plate the golden table and the golden bed and the golden toilet seat yeah, daddys got a golden toilet seat cheers and applause when you comin home dad i cant tell you, son it violates the emoluments clause, son it violates the emoluments clause cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Ewan mcgregor is here. But, first, ill talk about another trump crony whos cozying up to the russians. Stick around. At red lobsters lobsterfestime. Any of these 9 lobster dishes could be yours. So dont resist delicious new lobster mix and match or lobsterfest surf and turf because you wont have this chance for long. This clean was like pow everything well . My teeth are glowing. They are so white. Step 1 cleans. Step 2 whitens. Crest [hd]. 6x cleaning , 6x whitening a i would switch to crest [hd] over what i was using before. Sir . You give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Yes. 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The refreshing citrus kick of mtn dew. Just head shoulders . gasp i thought it was just for, like, dandruff new head shoulders. Cleans, protects and moisturizes to. Get up to 100 flakefree and unbelievably beautiful hair its not head shoulders, its the new head shoulders they carry your fans shpassions, hopes, and dreams. S. And maybe, a chance at greatness because shoulders were made for greatness. Not dandruff. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Jon batiste and stay human, my friends, right over there cheers and applause jon oh where you at . Where you at . Stephen jon, you know, tonight, the band weve got on tonight, the shins are on the show tonight. Jon oh, yeah, the shins, nice yeah, yeah. Stephen not only are they coming out here to play the music for the people, but theyre announcing theyve got is it a contest . A challenge . Something like that. They are giving away their tour van, this thing right here. Jon whoa stephen they have cheers and applause do we have a shot of this thing outside, is it parked outside . Its literally parked outside of the theater right now. cheers and applause this is the van they have toured with for years. Its been super charged and souped up and theyre giving her away. Jon wow. Stephen stick around at the end of show. You can find out how you can win the shins van. I might apply. Jon yeah, ive seen worse vans than that. Stephen i have seen worse vans than that. Jon way worse vans. Stephen thats a great ad for a car, youve seen worse. laughter jon ive seen worse stephen right. Speaking of things youve seen worse some of trumps friends may be in trouble. laughter this time its former Campaign Advisor and maitre d at a gangsterthemed restaurant, roger stone. Hes a big ol buddy of donald trump, seen here being his buddy. During the election, roger stone was accused of having ties to the Russian Hackers who broke into the Democratic National committee servers. But just last week, when asked what contact he had with russians, stone said laughter stephen i threw out all my russian nesting dolls, i quit my russian roulette league, and i even walk really slowly everywhere so that nobody can say im rushin laughter of course, so no russian nothing russian at all cheers and applause nyet of course, we all know what happens when a trump adviser denies contact with suspected Russian Hackers they soon admit they had contact with suspected Russian Hackers. Now, this isnt just any hacker. Its the one and only who is believed by u. S. Officials to be and goes by the name yesterday, stone confirmed that he and guccifer had a private twitter conversation and released a screenshot in which guccifer told stone yeah, is there anything i can do to help . Maybe pick up your dry cleaning, or, any elections you need rigged . laughter but stone had a perfectly good explanation for why he didnt mention his direct contact with one of the most notorious hackers in the world, telling the Washington Times laughter which is exactly the same thing my College Girlfriend said. laughter applause now to clear this up, weve managed to secure an exclusive interview. Please welcome live via satellite, the hacker himself, guccifer 2. 0. Thank you so much for joining us, mr. 2. 0. cheers and applause it is great pleasure to me, stephen. You look so much different in person than in private photos i find on your computer. laughter stephen well, lets talk about your relationship with trump adviser roger stone. Yes, i love roger i call him stoney the tiger because hes grrrrrrreat man laughter stephen really . Because he said his contact with you was banal and perfunctory. Well, im sure perfunctory is good is funky, like american hip hop. Stephen no, not that kind of funky, he denies having any real relationship with you. Well, okay then. Is not important to me either. I dm with many decaying and beautiful old men. Oh, who am i kidding . I miss him so much laughter i may be most dangerous hacker in the world, but the stoneman breached the firewall. Of my heart. laughter who knew that colluding to throw election for paranoid reality tv star could have such bad result laughter stephen guccifer, im so sorry. He promised me hed help raise little guccifer 3. 0 laughter dont worry, goosey3, papa is coming home soon stephen guccifer 2. 0, everybody. Well be right back with Ewan Mcgregor. cheers and applause so sad. Various shouting heigh ho its off to work we go woman on the gulf coast, new exxonmobil projects are expected to create over 45,000 jobs. And each job created by the Energy Industry supports two others in the community. Altogether, the industry supports over 9 million jobs nationwide. 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Its your glass of willpower that helps keep cravings. Far, far away. Feel less hungry with the natural fiber in clinically. Proven meta appetite control. From metamucil. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight currently stars as an endearing candlestick in beauty and the beast and an endearing drug addict in t2 trainspotting. Go, go, go stephen please welcome Ewan Mcgregor cheers and applause stephen that was nice. That was very nice. Stephen give a little back to the audience. Where are we . Stephen were in the ed sullivan theater right now. Ive ever been in here. Stephen have you never . No. Stephen you didnt come here when dave was here . I never looked up if i did. laughter i dont think so. Stephen we changed the ceiling. Well, in that case, maybe i have. laughter stephen yeah. I love what youve done with the place. Stephen thanks very much. We kept it as cold as we used to. Thats right, that does remind me of daves studio. Stephen as i said in the intro, you are playing a talking candle stick. Yep. Stephen and youre also playing a 40yearold heroin addict in these two different films. Which one of these things is more believable . laughter because the idea that any of the guys from trainspotting are still alive is pretty crazy. Yeah. I dont know. I think its quite a stretch to believe me as a candlestick. Lets ask them what they think. I dont know. Stephen oh, i totally buy you as a candlestick. You know, the truth is, renton sort of cleaned up his act over the years. And you might be more surprised about where hes at at the beginning of t2 than the other boys. Stephen yeah . There are a lot of people that do kick heroin and get over it. Stephen well, trainspotting is pretty rough. I watched it again this weekend in preparation for t2. And those guys are living a pretty rough life there. I mean the fact you people in t2 have all your teeth is surprising. laughter i dont think bobby has all of his there. Hes missing one, i think. Stephen all right, well, beauty and the beast, lets talk about that for a second. You play a candlestick as i said. You play lumiere. How does one prepare, as an actor, how does one do a ride along as a candlestick . Months and months of research. laughter i dont know really know. The funny thing about it is i sort of just swanned into it, you know. Stephen you what . I swanned into it without much thought. And it was a mistake, as it turned out. laughter because i have been living with a beautiful french woman for 23, 5, 4 years, my wife, and i just assumed ive got the french accent, i can do that. So i just swanned in, and i couldnt do it. Stephen you did the french accent as lumiere and it didnt work . It didnt really sound very french. It was a bit south of the border. American border. laughter stephen you were mexican . A bit mexican. Stephen we dont need no stinking beast laughter be our guests be our guests laughter we recorded it so that it could be played back on set, because im a candlestick. Im not really going to be there. We got there before they started shooting, recorded all of the dialogue, and buggered off. And that, what we recorded, was going to be played back on set for these amazing actors to listen to. And i left going, oh, no. laughter theyre just going to be listening to my little. Stephen so is this all just in a recording booth situation, or was it the circus blue outfit with the blue balls on and stuff like that . Balls. We did the blue balls thing laughter which is a bit of what it feels like in here actually. We did the balls thing for a day just to get my movement so lumiere could feel a bit like me, i guess. And then i recorded my dialogue with sir ian mckellen. We did it together in a recording studio. Stephen and who is he . He plays the clock, cogsworth. Thank god youre here, i never could have remembered his name. Stephen i have children you have four daughters, right . Four girls. Stephen surely you knew this musical before you took the job, right . laughter how could how old are your children . Whats the range . My eldest is 21, my youngest is 6. Stephen how did you possibly avoid disney . How did you escape from the black hole that is be our guest . I have never seen it, the original. Stephen its very good. Is it good . audience reacts its not because i didnt want to. I dont know, it wasnt one that they watched i guess. Stephen has it not been translated into scottish . No. No. laughter but it should be. Stephen yeah. So, i dont know, it was quite handy in a way because when youre going to play a part thats so well known, its quite good if you dont know it so it can be yours. Stephen oh yeah, sure. I didnt try to sound like the guy who did it in the cartoon in the 90s. Stephen well, there is a little controversy in this film. I think there is a lot of gay sex in it. laughter cheering stephen well thats just it, lefou there is a lot of gay sex in this cartoon. laughter and i think if you live anywhere near alabama, you should not go and see this film what would jesus think . Stephen ill ask him. cheers and applause shouldnt have said it . Stephen no, not st all. No, you should have. There are rumors lefou had gay yearnings for gaston or something. It turns out he dances with a man in a dress in one of the scenes, right . Thats the whole thing. No, i think hes a gay character. Stephen he is . Yeah. Stephen i thought it turns out they didnt actually say. Its just like. Hes a gay character. Its 2017. For bleep sake cheers and applause stephen yeah, yeah. Is that any of your dialogue from the film . Or is that laughter no, no. Stephen but it is some of your dialogue from t2 trainspotting. Some of my lighter dialogue, yeah. Stephen okay, so, now speaking of an actor, someone whos committed to their role, in trainspotting, your character loves the delicious, delicious heroin and has to kick it but keeps getting sucked back in. Um, did you do a ridealong there . Did you ever say to yourself, well, if im going to play a heroin addict i at least should know what its like to be on the nod. I did. I did think about it and, you know, leading up, it was an extraordinary moment in time. The trainspotting novel was sort of a novel of our generation in scotland and further afield i guess. But in scotland it was like the book of our generation. And when we are preparing to make the movie, it felt like it was it felt like it was going to become what it has become. It felt that special. I was always absolutely convinced it would be an amazing piece of work. And i did think, well, ive never done heroin and if im going to convincingly play a heroin addict, maybe i should try. I had this sort of notion our script writer, john hodge, hes a doctor and i thought, well, he could give us some. laughter stephen really . Yeah, he could give us some. Stephen doctors in scotland have heroin . Im sure their access to some somewhere. Stephen surely. I thought, that would make it safe. And so i thought about it, and then i started working with danny boyle and we went up to glasgow and we worked with this Extraordinary Group of recovering addicts called the calton athletic club, and one guy named eamonn became our heroin advisor on set. I went to one of their recovery meetings and i sat there, and i watched these young guys and girls come in and i saw the extraordinary suffering they were going through and the pain in their eyes and i thought it would be enormously disrespectful to them for me to go and try heroin. Stephen to dabble. I didnt need to. It wasnt necessary. So what i did is i asked all of these people that were generous enough to give us their time, and i asked them to describe what it was like to withdraw and what it felt like when you injected heroin. Im an actor and i have to use my imagination, and so thats what we did. It would have been very disrespectful i felt to them to have done that. Stephen when i watched trainspotting again, i really needed the subtitles for some of the scenes. Oh yeah. Stephen and is that scotlands revenge on the english that laughter no, i think our midgies are the revenge on the english. Or anyone else, actually. Weve got these tiny mosquito things called midgies in the highlands. Stephen sure, sure. Theyre just a nightmare. Nobody goes up there because they get eaten alive by them. Stephen is there a scottish phrase you particularly love that perhaps i wouldnt understand what it meant if you said it . Because there is so much of the film that im only getting the emotional content from. Yes, well, ill come on to that. Partly, it doesnt really matter, i think, when we made the first trainspotting film, they asked us to redo some of the first third of the movie to make it sort of slightly less scottish. Stephen you dubbed it . A little bit, just the first third, we dubbed some of it. Stephen okay. And if you see the british version, begbys Bobby Carlisle got this amazing scene where he throws the pint over his shoulder, and it starts wednesday doing the volley which is wednesday night, down at the volley, which is the name of the pub and they tied it up so you could slightly understand him and it really ruined it because it doesnt really matter if you understand what hes saying. You sort of get the point not to go near him or annoy him in any way. So we didnt do that this time, but what dannys done is he has done some sort of slightly amusing subtitling around the beginning of the movie to help the american ear into the accent. laughter stephen yeah. Because its an act of trust for the first few minutes. laughter yeah. Do you want to know my favorite scottish phrase . Stephen i would love to. Its a bit rude, though. Is that all right . Stephen sure. It goes like this if youre youre going to get hung for stealing a sheep you might as well bleep it as well. cheers and applause stephen t2 trainspotting opens in select cities this friday. Ewan mcgregor, everybody. Well be right back with Finn Wittrock. Stick around cheers and applause ive gotta hit the loo. We cant stay here why . Terrible toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you, big daddy. Aww charmin ultra strong. Its washclothlike texture helps clean better. Its four times stronger. And you can use less. Beautiful view. wiggles butt thanks to charmin. And you, honeybear awwwww we all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin . Fortified. Tored. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good everyday . Emerge and see. Before you set out, you plan to capture every moment. But what you really cant plan for is when the moment captures you. Marriott now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh im so proud of you. Well thank you. Free at at discover. Com creditscorecard, even if youre not a customer. cheers and applause stephen hey welcome back, everybody ladies and gentlemen, you know my next guest from his multiple roles on American Horror story. Hes making his late night debut right now. Please welcome, Finn Wittrock cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome. Thank you wow stephen first time on a late night show . Yeah. Stephen youre gonna love it. I hope so. Im really excited. Stephen you are . Yeah. Stephen good they told me it was going to be cold. cheers and applause stephen very cold. Keeps the guests fresh. Guests tend to spoil if the studio get too warm. I dont want to get too relaxed here. Stephen well, as i said before, you did three seasons of American Horror story, and nominated for an emmy for that. Yes. Stephen congratulations. Youre also in lala land, but you didnt get to sing or dance or anything like that. They cut out my big singing number. No, im just kidding. Stephen you didnt have anything . Thats why they didnt win. That was it, that was the clutching point. Stephen that close. It was tough. Stephen pushed them over the top. It was like competing against ryan gosling. It was tough, you know . They had to cut me out because it was going to tip the scales, you know. laughter stephen well, now youre in Tennessee Williams the glass menagerie at the glasgow theatre. cheers and applause yeah. Mmhmm. Stephen now, you went to juilliard mmhmm. Stephen im not surprised youre doing the classic theater on broadway. You went to juilliard, were you there when jon batiste was there . We were in the same class, jon batiste and i. Jon yeah cheers and applause stephen do you have any stories . Do you, by chance, have any stories you can tell out of school about mr. Batiste . Some stories i have been sworn to secrecy about. Jon yeah, yeah laughter gotta keep that low. Jon was, like, if you had headphones in and he saw you in the elevator, he would take it out of your ear and listen for a while and go, yeah laughter stephen now, juilliard is famous for training its actors. You turned it down, right . You heard that . Stephen i did hear this, that you were accepted to juilliard and you said, nah. laughs what made you say nah . I was 18 and probably full of myself and i wanted to just do some tv and i was on the pilot of cold case, you remember that show . Stephen nope. Nope. Okay. Its gone. So i got into juilliard. I kind of auditioned on a whim. I was, like, im not going to ever get in. I thought, ill audition and get it over with. And they called me and said, youre in, do you want to come . I said, well can i defer for a year . Theyre like, were juilliard, you dont defer for a year. So i turned them down and audition the next year. Stephen and they said okay . They said okay. I dont know why, but yeah. Stephen youre obviously very good. It paid off in the long run. Stephen when you trained at juilliard, what are the sort of things, like whats the secret sauce . What are the sort of things they have you do . I dont know if i can tell you. Stephen im going to start my own Theatre School across the street, try to put them out of business. laughter no, i dont know, its four years, its an intense program. Stephen first animal spine. The first three months were just basically lying on our backs humming, literally nonstop. Stephen what about vocal training . Did you do classical vocal training and stuff like that . Yeah, lots of vocal training, lots of articulation, voice work, all that stuff. Ive forgotten it all. But, yeah. Stephen did you guys do amidst the mists and coldest frosts he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts cheers and applause theres also, she slits the sheets, the sheets she slits and on the slitted sheets she sits. Stephen she slits the sheets, the sheets she slits and on the slitted sheets she sits. Wow, you didnt say the word stephen the cbs censor had her finger on the button the entire time. laughter now, you grew up in your family was in theatre, right . My dad worked in shakespeare and company in lenox, massachusetts. Thats where i caught the bug pretty young. Stephen so as a kid did you Wander Around the house doing monologues from Titus Andronicus and stuff like that . Sort of, yeah. Romeo and juliet and whatever. Mostly i tried to skip the words and get to the sword fights. Like my friends and i. Stephen sure, of course. We would go out in the woods and try to find sticks and fight with them. But it was a special way to grow up. It definitely exposed me to theater at a very young age and i think it was a healthy way to start. Stephen whats it like working with sally field . Shes just the best. Stephen shes a delightful person. Shes the best. Stephen has she made out with you yet . She said no. laughter not yet stephen we kissed a couple of times and its totally worth it. I know, she told me to give you a kiss from her but i think i should refrain. Oh lord cheers and applause this is what its like at a late show . Stephen the glass menagerie is on broadway now at the belasco theatre. Finn wittrock, everybody well be right back with a performance by the shins. cheers and applause band playing my daughter is. Studying to be a dentist and she gave me advice. She said dad. 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They got a name for everything all of the clothes that you wear and all of your bits and pieces yeah youre flipping through the checkstand rags it appears there aint no time to waste youre getting on in years you can keep your can up if you just never eat again its a means to a terrible end even if your plan is successful have you really got room in your life . Yeah and its a bland kind of torture youve played the mother and wife but what do you really dream of at night . Theyve got a name for you girls whats in a name . Theyve got a name for you girls whats in a name . They got a name for everything all of the clothes that you wear and all of your bits and pieces yeah theyve got a name for you girls some stupid name theyve got a name for you girls whats in a name . Whats in a name . Whats in a name . Whats in a name . Whats in a name . cheers and applause stephen hey. Thanks, man. The shins everybody hey, thanks so much that was great now, james, before i get going here, i understand you do have this special contest for the van. Big red. Stephen okay, this is a van you have been using since the beginning of your career together as band, right . Thats right and now of course were renting a big bus and stuff, so we just dont need this old van and its kind of going to waste. Stephen okay, so how does somebody win it . Well, you cover a song on our new record heart worms and submit it to us somehow, anyhow, make us fall in love with you and you get the van. Thats it. cheers and applause stephen all right, you can find out more about how to do it on our web site. And you guys will give me a ride after the show . Yeah, i guess. Stephen awesome. The shins, everybody, well be right back cheers and applause looking for balance in your digestive system . Try align probiotic. For a nonstop, sweet treat goodness, hold on to your tiara kind of day. Get 24 7 digestive support, with align. The 1 doctor recommended probiotic brand. Also in kids chewables. Arbreak through your allergies. Try new Flonase Sensimist instead of allergy pills. Its more complete allergy relief in a gentle mist you may not even notice. Using unique mistpro technology, new Flonase Sensimist delivers a gentle mist to help block six key inflammatory substances that cause your symptoms. Most allergy pills only block one. And six is greater than one. Break through your allergies. New Flonase Sensimist goodnight captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry what it is you gonna say its gonna turn out fine its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from ipswich, maryland, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden