Transcripts For WJLA Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170311

Of his artwork, paintings of veterans to benefit veterans. I have to say, i still cant get over the fact that president bush is painting. I would have been less surprised if he started fighting for the ufc after his eight years in office, but hes painting now, and hell be out, well get to the important subjects, trump, the attorney general, how mr. T will do on dancing with the stars. But first it was another commotional day in washington. The u. S. Attorney general jeff sessions, found himself in a bit of a pickle after testifying under oath last month that he had no contact with russia or russian operatives about the president ial election campaign, and the Washington Post ran a story saying he met with the russian ambassador, known as a top russian spy and recruiter, not once but twice. Jeff sessions said, campaign . I thought he said champagne. Its an honest mistake. Sessions admitted he did meet with the ambassador, but they didnt discuss the campaign. They met because he wanted to know how russia wanted to make the dolls that fit inside each other. Hes absolutely fascinated by them. But after members of both parties called on sessions to recuse himself from all investigation of potential ties between the Trump Campaign and russia, today he did. He held a press conference where he recused himself and climbed back into his tree to go back to making cookies with the other elves. I will say he did do one very smart thing, jeff sessions, in light of this potential association with russia. Either he or someone in his camp decided not to send him out there with a red solo cup, they found a green one. I dont know if hes getting a jump on st. Patricks day, but thats good thinking. [ laughter and applause ] in more whimsical news also from our local news in l. A. , two little boys, best friends, had the idea of trying to pull a fast one on a teacher at school. And watch this. Weldon got a hair cut because he wanted to look like his best friend, jackson. Both were hoping to trick their preschool teacher, hoping she would not be able to tell them apart, because theyd have the same hair cut. The boys say they plan to trick their teacher this week. Jimmy yeah, but now the trick is ruined, because they put it on the news. [ laughter and applause ] some adults just dont get it. Here in southern california, Michael Jacksons neverland ranch is back on the market. For 67 million, you can live where Michael Jackson did some really weird stuff. When it first went on the market last year, it was listed at 100 million. No one wanted it. So they took it off the market and put it back on the market, cut price by 33 million. Michael must be rolling over in his Hyperbaric Chamber a mile below disneyland right now. The neverland ranch comes with a pool house, movie theater, railroad, a dance studio and a zoo. Who is going to buy . For 67 million, who would be dumb enough to buy a zoo . [ laughter and applause ] you know what im saying . Youd have to be an imbecile. Any of you planning to see the movie wolverine this weekend . Now that the oscars are over, we can focus on the good movies. Logan is expected to be the big weekend. Whenever there is a big blockbuster on the way we invite yahya to review them. He literally has nothing else to do, stand outside of restaurants to take photos with celebrities. We gave him a job. And once again, tonight, we give you yahya talking about the new hugh jackman movie logan. Go now. Go. What i about this movie . I talking about the new movie. The new movie behind me is called legona. Its hugh jackman, very nice guy guy. For the animal wolferi, bombs come out, and he like knife, come out. In that movie, he want to save the girl, and his knife cut everything. s in a lot, and also x man, x man 1, 2, 3, i dont know, 4. We got ourselves an xman fan. And the good guy, his name bat stewer. Hes on the star trek, and also jason dracula 2. And the rabbit cop. The movie with the have away, and french people talking like music, and she sound the movie all music, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. But the movie, in the end, i dont see it, i dont know. [ bleep ]. Go watch the movie. Its good movie. Its yahya. Good luck watching the movie. Cut [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, yahya. Im excited president bush is here tonight. Im so interested in what life is like after being president of the United States. Does that interest you guillermo . Yes. Jimmy what specifically interests you about it . What is it you would like to know from the president . Like what is his hobby. What he likes jimmy well, we know he likes to paint. And what else. We want to know what else. Jimmy anyway, the former president is making the rounds this week to promote his book, which means hes been on the news more, in peoples heads. We dec that. We went out on the street this afternoon, and we asked people about a number of fake news items, things we made up, involving the former president and his artwork. This is how that came out in tonights special w. Edition of lie witness news. So, as you know, president george w. Bush has been dabbling in art in his retirement. Yes. If you could just give your honest appraisal of some of his early works. Inting, the abstract . T this the chagal . Oh, yeah, its a cutie, and i like how this looks like a shoe. Yes. You know, its just so creative. I think its just this childlike charm that he has help. As you know, today, president george w. Bush called an Emergency Press conference to unveil his new collection of paintings. What do you think about this beautiful work of art that represents a more photo realistic side . Hes obviously a very important character to the American People and i think that its a good representation of a good role model and someone that we all look up to. Do you think president bush looks up to the young wizard depicted in this painting . I think absolutely. I think everyone should. He has been with us since we were young and we grew up with him. And i think hed be silly not to. As you know, president bush has become a painter in his retirement. He loves painting a variety of subjects. What do you think of this moving portrait of hiphop legend tupac, do you think it captures his essence . I do, i do. Im a tupac fan, actually. Did you hear on the news when president bush said, this is my opus, this is what i want to be remembered for . Yeah, i do now. Where did you see that . I think i saw it on cbs. I mean, its nice. What about it is nice . Its different. A cat. Does it show a softer side . Yeah, i was going to say that. It shows a little softer, sweeter side. What about this peacock says president bush to you . Id say like the funny little hair there, like when his hairs all out of place. Sometimes bush needs to run a comb through it . And maybe the weird little sweater, maybe bush wears that on christmas. I dont know. Do you think the background, the red marks on the yellow background, represents the chaotic nature of governments . I wouldnt say that. Id say it looks like he really loves strawberries. Were your friends sharing pictures of president bushs cat on social media this morning . Yes, they were. I saw it all over my news feed. What do you think of this painting by president george w. Bush . Listen, i am president george w. Bush, and i did not paint that damn thing. Thank you for your time, sir. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy none of those were his. One more thing before we forge ahead, to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week, whether they need it or not. Its this week in unnecessary censorship. Everyone put their heart and souls into this film. Im gonna find you all individually, and im going to [ bleep ] you, along with my friends who i love so much. Im going to [ bleep ] the hell out of you when the feeling reenters my body. If youre like me, and your [ bleep ] is sagging a little bit. You have too many beads in it. What the American People saw is the president i serve with every day, broad shoulders, a big [ bleep ], and he laid out a specific agenda. And in another surprising change of character, mr. Trump sent only one tweet, two words, [ bleep ] you. Well, yesterday, i [ bleep ] for the first time on air, after losing a weatherrelated bet. Now its time for us to take the next step in our journey. Were going to [ bleep ]. Last night you looked at him an yeah, i hope you all have a great evening. I love big [ bleep ] like that. And we also told president bush he had to [ bleep ] his secretary of defense. On that note, we have to take a quick break. I wanted to see what it felt like as a swornin president , and i said welcome, mr. President , and he said, [ bleep ] mr. President. We have some great movies. I knew i would [ bleep ] this show up, i really did. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a great now for you tonight. From the new show making history, adam pally is here. And well be right back with president george w. Bush. [ cheers and applause ] remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. [hello moto] snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world [hello moto] moto is here. The moto z with moto mods. Get a moto z play droid for only 10 month. No tradein required. Delicious, freshly brewed coffee cits one dollar. Go to mcdonalds and get 1 any size coffee or 2 small specialty beverage. And, every 6th mccafe beverage is free with our app. Wake up and win the day. [music plahi. Throughout] woo hi. All pants, jeans, and tops up to 40 off. Hi, fashion. Old navy. When i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. Liberty did what . 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With the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. Ever wonder why they leave . The abuse. The mistreatment. The humiliation. Its time to treat them better. Introducing tide pods plus downy. Treat all your clothes better with tide pods plus downy. If its gotta be clean, its gotta be tide. Jimmy hi, there, welcome back to the show. He has a very funny new show called making history, adam pally is here. I think hes planning to do something weird. Next week we will be joined by emma watson, brie larson, tom hiddleston, ian somerhalder, doug benson, kal penn, Gillian Jacobs and we will have music from justin moore, spoon, future, and the return of mashup monday. This is where we combine two bands to form one super group. On monday we mash Lady Antebellum up with Bell Biv Devoe to form lady anteBell Biv Devoe. [ cheers and applause ] so that should be fun. Jimmy our first guest was president of the United States of america for eight years, which is probably enough resumewise, but he is also a painter with a new book of portraits of courage a commander in chiefs tribute to americas warriors. Please welcome the 43rd president of the United States, george w. Bush [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Thank you for coming. I was just told, i was told moments ago that you requested a little meeting with guillermo before the show. Donde esta guillermo. Jimmy hes over there. And you spoke in spanish before the show. How was his spanish, guillermo . Perfecto. [ laughter ] that means perfect. Yeah, good. I have so many questions for you, where i want to start, when your Vice President dick cheney, when he shot that guy in the face, how did he tell you . Did he come in and close the door . How did that go down . What really irritated me about that, he shot the only trial lawyer for me in texas. Jimmy thats right. The guy was a lawyer. It was an unusual period. Jimmy i would imagine so. Did it ever seem funny at all to you . Well, every time cheney would come in, a lot of people yelled duck jimmy so you guys had fun with it . I did. Jimmy or in this case, quail. Not bad. Jimmy and you lived in l. A. When you were a little kid for a time. Yeah, i did. Jimmy and theres a photograph of you. You lived in compton, in the heart of l. A. For real, thats not a joke. When was this . I was 3. Jimmy 3 years old. Yeah, my dad was selling oil field supplies. We also lived in bakersfield. Jimmy you have the gun pointed. I cant help but feel that you may have been the inspiration for other compton residents. [ laughter and applause ] i feel like maybe you might be the w. From nwa. How are your parents doing, by the way . Thank you for asking. Theyre doing great. Jimmy i bet people are asking that all the time. Yeah. You know, when he came out to flip the coin at the super bowl, it was a very joyful moment. Jimmy i would imagine so. I think it was for the whole country really to see him doing that. Yeah, hes a great guy. Jimmy i cant help but feel maybe he was faking it a little bit just so he didnt have to go to the inauguration. Yes . [ laughter and applause ] hes no dummy. Hes a funny man. Jimmy that wasnt a joke. [ laughter ] do you remember the first time you were at the white house . I do. Youre not gonna believe this. 1969, i had a date with tricia nixon. Jimmy with president nixons daughter . Yeah. Jimmy how did that happen . It was an arranged date. Jimmy by whom . My dad. Jimmy oh, really . Wow. Yeah, it was interesting. Jimmy so do you pull up to the white house and say in a purple gremlin. [ laughter ] jimmy where did you take her . I took her to a dinner with my dad had a dinner for frank borman, who was an astronaut friend of his from houston. So i took her to the dinner. Jimmy so it was a group dinner . Yeah. Jimmy you go on a date with the president s daughter. And you would know this from your own daughters. Does the secret service come . Yes, they do. Jimmy thats the greatest thing about being president. Unless youre dating the president s daughter. Jimmy then its not so good. And i assume it didnt work out with tricia, or we would know. Thats an unbelievable story. Glad to share it with you. Jimmy alec baldwin was here last night. He plays donald trump on saturday night live. Have you seen him do that . No. Jimmy i happened to chat with will ferrell on the phone today. He did you, very famously on saturday night live. Want to hear something terrible . I had dinner with Lorne Michaels and he said he came up with strategerie. And i said, wait a minute, i said strategerie. And he said, no, you didnt say strategerie. I said, i damn sure did. He said, we invented it. I said, let me ask you this, did he come up with misunderestimate . [ laughter ] royalty came in by saturday night live. Did that ever bother you . No. Any of the guys who imitated you . Jimmy who does the best imitation of you . A guy whos now dead. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah, sadly. Steve bridges. Jimmy did you have anything to do with his death . I hope not. A guy named bridges. He was very, very funny. Google it. Jimmy i will. So i did a white house correspondents dinner, and bridges and i came out together, and i would Say Something and then bridges would say, you know, kinda, this is what he really meant. It was pretty funny. Jimmy did you enjoy doing the white house correspondents dinners . Parman, he was a very funny guy. I love humor, and the best humor is when you make fun of yourself. Jimmy tell that to the president. [ laughter and applause ] he doesnt think so. When you were president of the United States, did you watch television . Was that part of your day . I only watched this guy, kimmel. Uh, no. Jimmy you never did, really . Never really did. Jimmy is that something that you enjoy, television in general . Not really. Jimmy or you were just too busy to do it . Both. Jimmy you probably shouldnt be watching television when youre the president. You got a lot to do. Youre busy. Jimmy do you have much free time at all when youre president . If you make it. It depends. I exercised every day. So i tell the schedulers, i want an hour every day. But you have to set priorities and live by them. But not much free time 37. Jimmy funny, because that would be the first thing i cut out. Not exercising for at least eight years. Thats not going to happen. Jimmy do you Pay Attention to pop culture . No. Jimmy so you dont know that beyonce is pregnant . No. Jimmy do you know who beyonces husband is . No. Jimmy do you know who beyonce is . Yes. Jimmy shes from shes from texas. Jimmy do you know who won the Academy Award for best picture . Pass the envelope, please. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy did you see that moment with Warren Beatty . I watched the replay. Im going to pander. I thought your opening was damn good. Jimmy thank you very much, i appreciate it. Oh, you watched that. No, no, i watched the opening. Jimmy okay, i gotcha. And i saw a replay of and i saw a replay of the faux pas. Jimmy when you see that, you w w w w w w w w w w w w w w notable faux pases, we had a lot of was mission accomplished, that was a big one. Do you take pleasure, or do you feel sorry for i felt sorry for him. I kinda felt sorry for you. You looked a little lost up there. Jimmy i get that a lot. Pricewaterhouse did it. [ laughter ] jimmy this is the book well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] how do you become americas bestselling brand . Youre not going to make it. Do you think you can make it . Uhh. Make it. Every time. Nice going further to keep drivers moving freely. Thats ford. And thats how you become americas bestselling brand. [hello moto] its time to reimagine the smartphone. 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Jimmy if i was president , that would be the first thing i did. My daughters asked the same question. Jimmy they did . Yeah. Jimmy would you be allowed to tell your daughters what was in those files . No. Jimmy now that youre out of office, you can do anything you want, right . True. But im not telling you. Jimmy are you not telling me that you looked at them . Im not telling you nothing. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy are there really great secrets that you know that you cant share with people . Yeah. Jimmy there are . And you never write about them . No. Jimmy maybe at a time in your life, youre 90, im going to do it . No. Jimmy nothing . What if you were to get a little loopy and start drinking again . Jimmy yeah. Guillermo, get some tequila [ laughter ] jimmy were you jealous of the size of the crowds at trumps inauguration . [ laughter ] i was i was there. Jimmy i know you were. I was the guy trying to jimmy the poncho on. We noticed that, actually. When youre president and you have a poncho handler. When youre out of office, youre on your own. I was looking at dick cheney while that was happening, he seemed to be enjoying that poncho moment. Helping me with the poncho . Jimmy well, he wasnt so much helping you, so much as glaring at you. Jeb bush is a guy that im friendly with. I have a relationship with jeb. So do i. Jimmy we email from time to time. He was very kind to be a part of something i did for the emmys last year. I wonder, because i was thinking about it, with my little brother, like if i guy was saying things about my little brother, id want to kill him. Want to beat him up. Did you ever get angry and have that kind of reaction . No. Jimmy you dont care about jeb . [ laughter ] i had been in a number of campaigns and, pretty well used to that stuff. Jimmy it goes with the territory . Yeah, it does. Jimmy thats a mature way of looking at it. Where do you get your news on a daily basis . Wall street journal. Jimmy you read that every day . Yeah. Dallas morning news as well. Where do you think romo will go, by the way . Hes a dear friend of mine, by the way. Jimmy hes a dear friend of mine too. [ laughter ] oh, come on. I dont know where hes going. Real cold in denver, but youll get used to it. Hes a wonderful guy and hes handled this extremely well with dak prescott. Jimmy i think hes handled it very well. Yes. Jimmy hes a good guy. But they dont care about any of that stuff. Lets talk about the paintings. Tell us when you started painting. When did all this happen . Getting a little bored. Jimmy all the brush had been cleared on the property . Brush cleared. Next day you wake up and, nothing. Go get the coffee yourself, buddy. [ laughter ] and so i wrote these books, which surprised a lot of people. Jimmy yeah, right. Especially on the coasts. Jimmy you wrote like five books. They didnt think i could read much less write. Anyway, i wrote an essay about Winston Churchill painting as a pastime. And i said, if this guy can paint, i can paint. Jimmy did you as a kid . No. Never interested in it. Jimmy whats the next step . Did you go buy paints . I brought bushes and paint and hired an instructor. Jimmy did you have someone get the supplies for you . Yes. I did. Jimmy have you been to the supplies store . I have. Jimmy isnt it fun . Yeah, i enjoy going. Buy all this kind of stuff. Jimmy and how do you find an art instructor . Is it a craigs list kind of deal . [ laughter ] you got to get somebody special, right . Fortunately got some artist friends in dallas, and a woman named pam suggested gayle, and she came over and we got started and a painted a cube. Jimmy is she honest with you, if theres something she thinks is not good . Well, she started off with making it honest with her body language, making it pretty obvious she didnt vote for me. [ laughter ] pretty honest. Jimmy i would imagine you turned her around. Im sure you can understand, the Art Community was not exactly my base of support. Jimmy yeah, no rallies in galleries. You started out painting primarily dogs. Yeah, because i called mother and said, im a painter. She said, you cant paint. And i said, i damn sure can. She said, paint my dog. So i was a pet portrait painter. Jimmy then you have dogs exactly. Jimmy humans are harder than dogs . I feel dogs might be harder than humans. Dogs dont really talk back to you. Jimmy do you have people sit for you . No, i go with photos. Jimmy do you ever paint nudes . None of your business. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy this is technically a nude. This is a selfportrait, you in the shower. Now, how do you capture that . Did laura take a picture . Well. Well, i kinda used my imagination. You can see, i made my muscles a little bigger. Jimmy why not. You have one of those crappy shaving mirrors. I do. Jimmy seemed like youd at least have the electric one. I dont know, youre the president. And this is a classic, something i would love to have for my home. You painted yourself in the bath. Were you in the bath while painting this . No, i was in the bath while photographing this. Jimmy i see. And as you notice, i leaned way back. Jimmy and did you take that picture with your phone . Yes, i did. Jimmy oh, thats very dangerous. Thats one of the most Dangerous Things any president s you want to know why i did that . I wanted to figure out perspective going away sfrum you, and painting water hitting water. Plus i was testing the humor of my instructor. Jimmy gayle was impressed by that . So these paintings are of veterans, a couple of whom are here in our audience tonight. Yeah. Jimmy a couple of gentlemen. You painted. Introduce these fellas that are here. Hey, guys. I dont know what page. I do. Heres brian. Jimmy let me show that to everybody. So brians right there in the audience. Brian, what do you think of your likeness . Thats an incredible honor. Looks great. Jimmy it does look good. So the question, does brilliants mother like it . Jimmy and does brians mother like it . Ask her. Brians mom is here shes here. Jimmy oh, do you like it . Thats your baby. So the answer is, yes, i do, i love it. I think it is amazing. Do you have the original painting . No. But i do have a book. Get that out of your mind. Jimmy well, i thought it might be fun if we drew each other while youre here. Thats alexander. Jimmy hes right there next to brian. Alexanders it was an unshaven period for alexander. Alexander, what do you think . Turn your head a little, alexander. You know what hes doing . Hes going to become a firefighter here in l. A. Jimmy is that right . Trying to. Jimmy oh, good, ill burn someth [ laughter ] i thought it would be fun if we do an art demonstration on the show, because theres nothing more interesting on television than watching people draw. 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Cricket wireless. Something to smile about. Like paperless, multicar, and safe driver, that help them save on their car insurance. Any questions . Yeah. How do you go to the bathroom . Great. Any insurancerelated questions . Mmhmm. Do you have a girlfriend . Uh, im actually focusing on my career right now, itch, so. Wheres your belly button . [ sighs ] ive got to start booking better gigs. Jimmy all right, were back with the president. So, um, you want to show yours first . Or should i . [ laughter ] that sounded dirty, but it really wasnt. Okay, lets just hold it up right there. Jimmy yep, thats me, all right. [ applause ] if youve seen this man, contact your local police. Okay, so i drew you and then in the background there, i had guillermo, so i couldnt help it. Thats good. [ laughter and applause ] the soldiers. You guys want these . [ cheers and applause ] do you mind if i give mine im going to put my signature on yours right there. Thanks so much for being here, mr. President. Can i say one thing . Jimmy say whatever you like. Anybody who buys this book, the proceeds go to this program to help our vets. All of it. Jimmy excellent. Thats the book right there, portraits of courage, artwork and stories by president bush. Thank you, mr. President. Well be right back with adam pally. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Uh out of you. As soon as [ringtone] [ringtone] i have to, i have to take this. Just a little pinch. Sweetheart, i left my phone insi [inaudible muffled voice] im having phone. Issues. Bye uh, were gonna fix this, needless to say. [voiceactivated doubletone] okay. Resuming play. Oh mickey what a pity you dont understand snickers® satisfies. 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And dont call me shirley . Stream all your entertainment. Introducing at ts new unlimited data plans. Plus, get the amazing new iphone 7 on us. Hows this for a tv show . Sous chef. Lawyer by day, prep cook by night. No. Here you go. I got this. I get cash back so its like everythings on sale. With the blue cash everyday card, you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi there, were back. Our next guest on the program just got the frisking of a lifetime, and i heard he enjoyed it. So its okay. Hes a very funny person you know from happy endings and the mindy project. Now, he has his own show called making history. It premieres sunday night on fox. Please welcome adam pally [ cheers and applause ] better entrance than a president better entrance than a president ah hoo pick me up, soldiers pick me up, soldiers im gonna roll over you, are you ready . One more time. Okay, well do it one more time. No . Okay. Hey, jimmy. Jimmy, stop it [ laughter ] jimmy hold on, let me get you out of this thing. That is ridiculous. Youre gonna suffocate in there . Did i make a better entrance than the president . [ laughter and applause ] jimmy look at that, adam pally, everyone welcome, have a seat. That was an amazing entrance. Wow, that made absolutely no sense, whatsoever. Well, its all about making moments, jimmy. Going viral and making moments. Azy. Immy that is going to go how you doing . Ive been better. [ laughter ] jimmy well, they say here in hollywood, people are living in a bubble, but you dont live here anymore. No, im back in new york. Jimmy yeah, what happened. Why did you move . I have too many kids, and my family lives in new york, its an easier kind of jimmy oh, i see, i thought you moved away from the children. But you took them with you. Thats a nightly dream that i jimmy how many kids do you have . I have two and one on the day. Jimmy congratulations. [ applause ] who from your family is active with the children . I dont know. I just leave them on the Upper West Side and i assume some jewish relative will pick them up. My dad lives like ten blocks from us now. Jimmy last time you were here, we were talking about your dad, who was a lounge singer turned doctor. Yes. He still kind of comes to my sets and stuff. Jimmy he does . Oh, yeah. Jimmy and thats good . No. Well, its nice to have your father there, but hes an unbridled maniac. Jimmy in what way . He was on the set of making history and the writers were talking about, we have to cast the dad, you know. And he pipes up, i dont know who told him that he could, like, speak to the writers, but he pipes up and he goes, what about if adams dad was played by richard gere . And everybodys like, whos this old man . And i was like, dad, you really, you honestly believe you look like richard gere . Jimmy does he . He thinks he does, but he looks like if kevin klein only ate bialys for like two years. Jimmy thats not so bad either. Theyre like all in his teeth. Jimmy are you liking living in new york city . I do. I love living back in new york, its awesome. And i have picked up a skill that i will offer to anybody who is in new york. The worst thing that can happen to you in new york is having like a solicitor, you know, which happens all the time, whether it be homeless or greenpeace or gay rights, whatever. Its all horrible. You hate having someone come up to you and say, do you have a moment . Youre like, absolutely not. Jimmy right. Right, because if you have a moment, youd be someplace else. So i have come up with a way to with a look, tell solicitors i jimmy how do you do it . Ill show it to you guys very quick. Jimmy okay. And Pay Attention. Pretend youre a solicitor and im walking on the street and i dont want to deal with you. Jimmy hey lady, you want to not hey lady . Oh, that was the look. Let me try it again. Excuse me, do you have i think you did it better the first time. Ill try again. And its that extra smile at the end that lets them know, hes not being a [ bleep ], he lives here. Hes just a new yorker. Jimmy not exclusive, you know. By the way, im bleeding a lot from what just happened. I dont know if youve noticed. Its the perfect result. Oh, thanks. Jimmy if i may set up the concept of the show. Sure. Jimmy you play a foolish guy who finds a way to go back in time. Yeah, and pick up chicks. Jimmy and pick up chicks, which is the reason guys do most things. But the way you do it, youre in like a magic duffel bag. Yes, i found a way to travel through time through a duffel bag. And we chose a duffel bag because it was the easiest way to shoot traveling through time. Just throw him in a bag and you let them go on way. Jimmy its a great concept, and its really funny. Obviously its a comedy, but it seems like you put a lot of effort into the detail when it ama administration is a s the y. Nightmare. Jimmy so youd go nowhere . Nowhere. [ laughter and applause ] maybe id go to 2012 when the iphone 4 came out. Like maybe then. But even then, im like, wheres that longer, flatter iphone . Yes. For you . His really is a jimmy because you wouldnt do any of this stuff. And im not kidding around. Its very funny. Thats the highest compliment. Jimmy can you go to the future . Were planning to. And a lot of it takes place in the 1980s of boston. Jimmy excellent. 1940s germany. Jimmy not really. Really . We go to 1940s germany. Jimmy wow, not since hogans heroes. Out. I steal his spoon. Jimmy not having your spoon is super inconvenient. Think about it, hes going through breakfast being like, where is my spoon and im sitting in the future being like, ah, gotcha jimmy if you want to see hitler really get his, making history premieres sunday night at 8 30 p. M. On fox. I highly recommend it. Adam pally, everybody well be right back. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Six of you for when thyou stretch out. T i want you to stay this bright blue forever, thats why youll stay in this drawer forever. I cant live without you, and thats why ill never ever wash you. Protect your clothes from stretching, fading and fuzz with downy fabric conditioner. Fading and fuzz with downy fabric conditioner. It smooths and strengthens fibers to protect clothes from the damage of the wash. So your favorite clothes stay your favorite clothes. Downy fabric conditioner. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy adam pally, everybody. Watch his show. Its called making history on fox on sunday night, 8 30. Its very funny. I also want to thank president george w. Bush. He doesnt currently have a show. But he does have a book. Buy it. Apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. Nightline is next, thanks for watching, goodnight, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight pray away the gay . What can happen when parents and their gay teens away. Gay is a sin. Gay is evil. Gay is the worst, abomination to god, gay is horrible. Controversial conversion therapy. Ya know this boy here claims to be a homosexual. Reporter a year long undercover investigation, ending in a confrontation with one pastor who used the bible and the belt. Im not talking to you what did you do to those boys . Plus. Tale as old as time reporter beauty and the beast, animated storybook classic comes to life. We are up close with the allstar cast. How many actors get