[ music ] our next guest [ applause ] Lynn Redgrave, as you know, is aa very talented actress. Shes had Great Success in, um, films, television, theater. And she comes, of course, from a legendary theatrical family. Her father, sir michael redgrave, has written a book called, in a minds eye an autobiography. An actors autobiography. Shes here to discuss her father and his book. Would you welcome, Lynn Redgrave . [ applause ] [ music ] good to see you again. Thank you, yes. Nice to be here. Want to ask you about this, um, because sometimes when children grow up, they find out more about their parents later in life yes. Than they do when they were young. I found out that was true with my father. As i got older, there were things i didnt know about him. Did you find out things that you were not aware of . Yes, iii definitely hidden secrets, or something . Well, i dont know about hidden secrets. There was, uh theres a certain episode in su and thats, um, when my dad played in as you like it in london many years ago in the i guess late 30s, i suppose it was. Im trying to think yes, it was, because it was when, um and dame edith evans, who was then not dame edith evans, played rosalind. She was 50 at the time. Right. My father was considerably younger. And apparently she gave the most breathtaking performance, you know . You forgot in a second that she was 50, and believed she was a young girl in love. And it turns out that yes, she was in love. She was very much in love with my father. And they had long meetings, and a very close relationship indeed. And i dont think i really knew that. Why do you say many meetings . I mean, im not trying to well, im british, you know, johnny. I dont like to talk about these things too boldly. I mean, youd say an affair, i suppose. Youd just go right out and call the spade a spade. No, no, i maybe a liaison or something. Yes, you ah, youve put it so nicely. Yes, a liaison. Yes, a liaison, yes. But, uh, i had a suspicion about it, because of course id always heard about this wonderful production, right. But when i was, um, 20 years old, i was in a production at the National Theatre of great britain, where of hay fever, and it was directed by noel coward himself. He wrote it, of course, and dame edith was to play the leading character. Maggie smith was in it, myself and she was very strange to me, edith, at the time dame edith. She was, um, she called me the little redgrave girl. Had this extraordinary voice. [ laughter ] little redgrave girl going to wear that dress . I had a scene where i had i was given its all in the 20s, and i had this beautiful sort of petticoat, uh, yellow thing that frothed around. And i was given this one single white ostrich feather. And i loved it. I play i played this terrible flapper girl, jackie. Who had a lisp and called mrs. Bliss all the time. And noel coward was wonderful to me dear and encouraging and fabulous. And he liked me very much. And she got very upset. She saw this feather in the scene. Distracted you . Just a minute, noel. Little redgrave girl, [ laughter ] and was very upset. She i dont think she and i began to think, why does she not like me . Why, why . Im michaels daughter. And then i thought, ah. And thats when i think i knew. She thought that you mightve known about their i think she was just jealous. Really . That i was his child, and, uh, anybody close to him, i think. Was your father a difficult man to live with . Very difficult. Actors are not not easy to live with. Theyre not. Theyre easy in our days. You ever fall in love with one of your leading men . Tain well, i tell you, i fell in love with my husband while working with him, but he was playing a guy who was gay. Uhhuh. So isnt that interesting . He was calling me sweetie. He thought you see, we were in this Television Play together. And, um, i was playing a debutante. So very, you know, british and all like that. And he played my assistant who kept calling me sweetie. Mmmhmm. Hed say, hello, sweetie. Well, youyouve seen my husband. Heshes bearded and quite masculine looking. I hope you like this description, darling, if youre looking. But prior to that, did you um, i think i or have a crush, or, uh yes, i had crushes. Ill tell you who i had a crush on. I had a big crush on james mason in georgy girl. I had a mammoth crush on him. And of course, i was several years his junior. And he was sweet to me, and dear, and i really was i was mad about him. Many meetings . No, never any meetings. Only on the set. Never any meetings. No meetings. I like that term. Had rather quite a few meetings, you know . Well, you know the old hollywood term theyre always saying, im taking a meeting. Im taking a meeting with the head of fox. Well, we know what they mean, now, dont we . Id certainly like to meet you. [ laughter ] have a whole nother its a whole new meaning, now, doesnt it . Whole new meaning, yeah. Yes, ill never be able to say that again now. But howhow is your father difficult . Is when he was working, i assume, and ininvolved in a, uh he was very schizophrenic in his behavior. If he was playing strinberg, or shakes one of the shakespeare you know, something really heavy, or a murderer, or anything like that, he was impossible. Lived it. Brought it home we would get up in the morning, the three children, vanessa, corin and i, and it would be tiptoe, you know, shh, fathers playing last night. Shh, shh, shh. And if we made any noise, which, of course, we did, being children, this huge voice would thunder down it was very frightening. I mean, i used to be very scared of him when he played those. But if he was playing a comedy, then, of course, then he was the great father, you know, going for walks and the head was back, and he used to bring home any time hed play broadway or come to hollywood and make a movie, hed bring back the latest hit album, you know, from musical shows. And i remember when he brought back guys and dolls. And thank god when he brought it back he was playing a comedy, because he then played the album to us and played all the songs. And we used to sing if you can imagine the three little british redgraves singing, i got the horse right here, in three part harmony it was good, it was nice. Youd have liked it. Youd have put us on. Coming from a theatrical family, was it almost, uh, in the cards that you would become an actress . I mean well, i fought it, i think, because everybody said to me, i suppose youre going to be an actor. And my sister was always and my brother, i think, expected that. And i kept saying, no, no, no, because i was shy, and also i didnt want to do the same as all those generations. Were you shy . Yes, i was very shy. But you know, whenwhen at home, my brother and sister were always playacting. This was before we didnt have television til we were about i suppose when i was about 13 my father finally succumbed and put a television in the house. So we did a lot of entertaining ourselves and playacting. And interesting enough, my sister, whose politics im sure youve heard of, used to play the president of the United States in most of these things. The youd have liked these sketches. And my brother would be the speaker of the house, or Something Like that. Thats great training. And i would be the butler, or the dog, or Something Like that. So i dont think i dont think people expected very much of me, you know . Arent you gonna do cleopatra coming up soon . You know, i am. And on the you showed the cover of the book, but its a wonderful picture of my father as antony in antony and cleopatra. And im about to play cleopatra. On the stage . No, onon television. Television theres a Company Called bard productions who are putting all of shakespeares a great face your father had. Do you know, i dont have an antony yet . You dont have an antony . No. Are you available . Friends, romans, countrymen. No, no wrong play. Thats julius caesar. [ laughter ] but its its its not bad. Its pretty who knows i could give it a shot. You would you like to . I might be a little old for antony. We could have some meetings. Me ha [ laughter ] nobodys explained a part to me like that. So you have to find antony, and then ive got to find antony, and then im going to start right after thanksgiving, and give my queen of the nile. Oh, i like that. Well take a break. Well be right back. [ music ] [ applause ] thank you, doc. Were back. We have about a minute the book is just out. The book is just out. My father has parkinsons disease and cant travel to this country and publicize it. Yes, so i thats why im beating the drum for him. Well, please give him our best, will you . I hope its a big success for you. Your autobiography . Oh, about, uh, my meetings . Well, no now, i didnt say that. Maybe. But possibly. Oh, i dont i shouldnt think so. Im maybe when im 95. Anyway, much success with cleopatra, and i hope you find your antony. Yes, thank you. I shall look no further. All right. Jerry, youre head jerry, youre headed for, uh evansville, illinois indiana. Right. Evansville, indiana. It gets, uh, kinda the same out there. But i enjoy it. Thank you. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] . Come and knock on our door . . Come and knock on our door . . Weve been waiting for you . . Weve been waiting for you . . Where the kisses are hers and hers and his . . Threes company, too . . Come and dance on our floor . . Come and dance on our floor . . Take a step that is new . . Take a step that is new . . Weve a lovable space that needs your face . . Threes company, too . . Down at our rendezvous . . Down at our rendezvous . Sorry im late. Jack, you check out the little number parked at the bar . The one with the body that wont quit . Yeah, shes also got a meanlooking boyfriend. You shouldve seen what he did to the bartender just because. Dont do that. Do what . Look at my girl. No, but i. Youre doing it again. What if he was . Its a free country. Please, larry. Excuse me, but i dont have the slightest interest in your girlfriend. Oh . squeaks so, whats the matter with her . Nothing. Nothing. She, uh, from what i can remember shes very lovely with her blonde hair flowing down her neck and her. Her. Peekaboo sweater. Peekaboo swea. Larry. You know what . Im getting a little tired of both of you. We were just leaving. He way do you happen to know where the little boys room is . The little boys room . Huh . Its to the left next to the little girls room. Hey, thanks. No problem. No problem. By the way, you dont scare us. are you crazy . Jack, come on, its an act. That type of guy is all talk. Yeah, and with your help i can be talked right into the hospital. Excuse me. May i sit down . Here . Im sorry. Ive come over to apologize for maxs behavior. Im april. Im larry. Im leaving. Relax. April. Well, youre a lovely month. Yeah, especially the way you overflow into may. Why dont you give me your phone number . Perhaps we could get together. That max sometimes he makes me so mad. Dont have a phone . Ill give you my number instead. I wish max were more like you. R face. Uh, no, im not. Looks closer. Its hard, very hard. Someone makes a pass at him and im supposed to ignore it. Someone just looks at me. And max puts them in the hospital . See . You do understand. I sure do. Would you excuse us . Come on, larry. I would talk to max to tell him to try to control his temper. Come on, larry, lets go. Here you go, darling. Call collect. Would you quit that . What if max. . Max what is this . Uh. I dont know. Its not mine. Looks like a phone number to me. It does . Well, yeah, it does, but its not. Its a prescription. A what . Im supposed to take one of these every four hours and go directly to bed. Come on, larry. Its late. You know, youre lucky, pal. My buddy let you off easy this time. You. its all right. Oh cindy, you coming to bed . Yeah, as soon as i finish balancing my checkbook. Okay. Janet, will you help me . Oh, cindy, youre asking the wrong person. My bank offered me a clock radio if id take my account somewhere else. Nuts. Hey, hi, jack. Hi. You and larry have fun at the beagle . Well, if you call being intimidated, threatened and nearly beaten up fun, yeah. Janet, would you quit kidding around . Some nut thought i was trying to steal his girlfriend. Were you . No. Of course i wouldnt mind borrowing her for a couple of hours. This crazy guy started to get tough with me. I had to straighten him out. cracks knuckles so, what did you do . doorbell rings i did what any guy would do. I looked him right in the eyes and flexed my muscles, you know . Get in here. What are you doing here . Well, the bartender told me where you lived. Why, that. Thats so thoughtful. Jack, i told max what you said about controlling his temper. What did he say . He hit the bartender. He hit the barten. . Youre just going to have to flex those muscles again. April, these are my two roommates, cindy and janet. Well, wheres max now . I dont know but hell be at the beagle every night until he catches you. Oesnt scare me one bit. It doesnt . No, i got enough beer in the fridge to last a month. pounding open up in there its max. Quick hide hide. Not you, cindy. April. pounding continues open up this door you hear me . hello. Hey, max, whats going on . How you doing . Whats happening . Where is she . Max, listen with two beautiful girls like this that im living with what would i want with a third . Yeah, what would jack want with another girl . Yeah, since he cant get anywhere with either one of us. Whats in there . Thats a kitchen, your basic kitchen stove, refrigerator table, cups, saucers, you know. Quick. I got to get you out of here. I told you there wasnt anybody in here there wasnt anybody in here will you just get out of the way . Oh, sure. Thanks for stopping by. Byebye. I aint done looking around yet, jacky. Uh, uh. Come on, come on. Jack. April well, im glad to see you finally came to your senses and dumped that ridiculous goon. You, uh. Gee, i wish i could stay but the monks like us back at the monastery by 8 00. You know what . I just hope Plastic Surgery can restore you to your former self. Dont you touch him thanks. Uh, i dont want your protection, cindy. Thanks anyway. Cindy, get over here. Let me explain. Explain what . How you lured my girlfriend back to your apartment to add to your collection of cupcakes . Cupcakes . I should warn you i know karate. highpitched yell yells im not up to that yet. Hang on a second, you big bully. Max, stop. He was only trying to help. Cant you see theres nothing going on between us . And even if there were, so what . You dont own me. Thats my business. If i want to put my arms around him thats my business. And if i want to kiss him. Thats my business, too. I guess, uh im out of business, huh . Thats right now i lay me down to sleep. Youre jealousys driving me crazy april, please i can only handle one fight at a time. All right, you where did he go . Who . You know who . Hey, listen, if you lay one finger on him i will personally tear you apart. You trying to turn me on . Get the phone, cindy. Get the phone. Hello. Jack . Where are you . Upstairs at larrys . Hes gone. Cindy hes back. Larry, larry, this guy is a psycho. No telling what hes going to do next. Come on, jack. Hes never going to find you up here so stop worrying. pounding at door max open up start worrying. Hide me. All right, all right, calm down. Open up or im going to break down this door laughing id like to see you try. karate yell you satisfied . Well, i guess i was wrong. He aint here. Sorry about the door. Anytime. Oh, by the way could you do me a favor . Just name it. Tell your friend im going to find him and then im going to kill him. Jack jack he left a message. I heard. Good morning. Aah oh. Cindy, dont ever do that again. Boy, are you jittery. Well, i cant help it, cindy. Im scared to death for jack. Can you just imagine how he must feel . . Im singin in the rain . . Just singin in the rain . . . What a glorious. . What are you girls doing up so early . No. Because of the tooth fairy. Of course because of max. Janet, all he wanted to do was put a scare into me, all right . It worked, but its over so you. Relax janet, look at how tense you are. Sit down. What you need is to take a couple of deep breaths. Both of you, come on, lets try it. Inhale. Exhale. Thats it, thats it. Inhale. Exhale. Its not helping, jack. Its helping me a lot. Inhale. Listen, i got to get to work. Oh, jack, wait, wait, wait, um. Uh, um. Well, you take good care of yourself today, okay, jack . Janet, believe me weve seen the last of that guy. Would you stop treating me like a little boy . mommy jack, whats the matter . Its him max hes waiting for me across the street. Look, you have nothing to worry about. I dont . Hes out there, but youre safe in here. Right thats right right. And the only thing i cant do is go to work and go to the beach, go on dates lead a normal life. Oh, my god, im trapped yeah. Im afraid i cant come into work again today. Well, yeyes, sir, its that 24hour flu. I know its been three days but, you know, some germs just cant tell time. forced laugh pounding on door whos there . I mean, uh. Whos there . Larry. How do i know its larry . Come on, i need 10. Its larry. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Jack, geez, you look terrible. Well, wouldnt you . I havent been able to eat. I havent been able to sleep. That guy just will not go away. Get out of town. I cant go on running forever. Id be better off dead. Dont say that. Hey, maybe thats not such a bad idea. What . Now, i know this sounds crazy but it just might work. Ill do anything. I know where well hold your funeral. My what . hey, i got this friend who owes me a favor. Listen to this. We get janet and. Hey. How long do you think lover boys going to be able to hide from me . Hes not hiding from anybody anymore, thanks to you. I hope youre happy. Happy . You killed him. Murderer. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, shh, shh, shh. Jack just couldnt take it anymore. His heart stopped in the middle of the night. God forgot to wind it. Wait a minute. I dont believe it. We dont care what you believe. Were on our way to the Memorial Service right now. At the shady hills funeral home. On washington boulevard. At 2 30 sharp. Free parking in the back. Did they say. That jack is dead . yeah, thats what they said. Oh, i feel terrible. Me, too. I wanted to kill him myself. Larry calm down. Shh. Jack i cant help it. These places give me the creeps. shrieks whats that . Thats yours. No sign of max yet. Oh, larry. What if this funeral idea doesnt work . Thats the beauty of it. Youre covered either way. Come on, hop in. Larry, i cant. Why not . Im not ready yet. Oh, come on, jack. Theres nothing to it, huh . Here you go. Oh, larry, come on. Ah. This little baby is the answer to all your problems, huh . You got your plush, satin interior. Talk about your reclining seats. Eh . Larry enty of leg room. Not like those japanese imports. Larry, will you get out of there . its even got a sunroof. Larry, you know, youre not selling me a used car. I am not trying to sell you anything but if you just give this little baby a test drive. Larry, larry, listen to me. Guys, guys, theres somebody coming. Whoa somebody coming. Larry no, im supposed to be in there. Hurry, hurry shh, shh, shh i got it. What am i . Jackinthebox . Just lie still. Now, dont move crying mr. Furley oh, my god, its true. Jack, why you . Mr. Furley. Janet, please, not now. Oh, he was so young. Couldnt you give him any more time . sneezes its a miracle no, it isnt, mr. Furley. Well, it is a damn good trick someones coming. Well explain the whole thing to you but, please, dont give jack away. Right, you dont have to worry about me get rid of these flowers. sneezes oh, god. Shh okay, now. Just remember, jack lie perfectly still and dont breathe. all humming rock of ages is that him . Was. Yep. Hes deader than a doornail, all right. Yeah. Well, max, thank you for coming. Oh, yes, hes dead, all right dead and gone. Oh, jack, jack. Jack. He was such a wonderful person so sensitive, so thoughtful. Amen. Therell never be anyone else like him. Never. Never. Never. Amen. Amen. Amen. He was like the son i never had. The brother i always wanted. The friend i always. Mr. Furley, dont you think its time to, uh, uh, uh. Time to lower our heads in a moment of silence. Lower. Or a moment of silence for breath, uh, jack. fly buzzing wailing hey, hey, hey, its all right. Its all right. Hey, you know what . Youre kind of cute under this light. Would you like to go dancing after the funeral . April april what are you doing here . gasps oh max i was afraid you were going to do this. Now, april. I didnt lay a hand on him. Hes telling the truth. Mother nature beat him to it. It was his heart. God forgot to wind it. Oh, poor, poor jack. Oh, i feel so guilty. We dont want to keep you. sneezes what was that . What was what . That sneeze. It was him. It was him. Theres something wrong here and i aint going nowhere until i make sure that hes really dead. What are you going to do . Has anybody got a hatpin . That you hounded him to his grave . Do you have to make a mockery of his memory, too . When you put it that way it makes me sound like a real heel. Forget it. Lets go. No, no, when youre right, youre right. I mean, at least i owe the guy an apology. Jack, wherever you are. I just want to say that, uh. You know, maybe i went a little too far and im sorry. Youre so crazy about april how come you tried to date me . What . i heard him. I heard him. I heard him, too. Max, you twotiming. i was just trying to make conversation. Were through. You know youre the only one that ive ever cared for. Jack. Come on, talk to her. Shell listen to you. Jack nobodys home april, you know this has been a big mistake. laughs youre a mistake apapril, plea. You know what . I love you. Now, did you ever hear me say that . I dont think were going to see any more of him. Boy, am i glad thats over. Listen, lets all go to the regal beagle, huh . Yeah. I can use a cold drink. Oh, me, too. Jack hey, guys . Its stuck here. Oh, i get the. Hey uh. Huh. . Come and knock on our door . . Come and knock on our door . . Weve been waitin for you . . Weve been waitin for you . . Where the kisses are hers and hers and his . . Threes company, too . . Come and dance on our floor . . Come and dance on our floor . . Take a step that is new . . Take a step that is new . . Weve a lovable space that needs your face . . Down at our rendezvous . . Down at our rendezvous . Did the mail come . Yes, but your check didnt come. All we got was the phone bill there by the phone. Jack, put that ice cream cin. Hey, jack, come here quick. Shh. Youll wake up cindy. No, i wont. Shes not here. You mean were all alone, just the two of us . Hurt me. Oh i mean shes not in her bed, jack. It hasnt been slept in. Its still made. Not to worry. She probably just went out. Cindy wouldve left us a note, jack. Cindys like that. Look, theres no note. Cindys a big girl. She can take care of herself. Which is more than i can say for you. When will you girls learn to stop leaving your things lying around . I almost broke my neck on your heel. Thats not my heel. Its not mine. Then it must be cindys. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Do you know what this means, jack . Yeah, wherever cindy is, shes probably Walking Around how can you possibly joke at a time like this when cindys been kidnapped . Pardon me . Dont you see . Oh, men are so dumb. This heel was broken off of cindys shoe when she was struggling with an intruder who broke in here and kidnapped her. Your brain has been kidnapped. What probably happened was cindy wanted some warm milk to help her sleep. We dont have any milk so she went to the store to buy some. doorbell rings thats probably her now. Do you kids know what time it is . 12 45. Thank you. pounding 12 46. This is no laughing matter. This is the second time tonight you woke me up with your noise and im not going to tell you again good. Get in here when was the first time . A couple hours ago. We were at the movies a couple hours ago. Somebody was up here making a heck of a racket like they were jumping up and down. Woke me up out of a sound sleep. That mustve been cindy. Well, she could have at least shown me the courtesy of opening the door when i came up to complain. Well, maybe she had already gone out. Or maybe someone had their hand clamped over her mouth so she couldnt call out for help before he gagged her and dragged her off. Whats she talking about . Shes still thinking about that murder we saw tonight. Murder . What murder . a movie murder. Relax. Film, movies. Mr. Furley, cindy is gone. Whered she go . I dont know. Shes not in her bed. Well, maybe she went down to the regal beagle. Of course. Thats it. The regal beagle. And tonight is their annual adam and eve night. Adam and eve . L and they go off and raise a little cain. You mean if theyre abel. You get it . Cain and abel . Yeah, i got it. Cain and abel. Cain and abel. Oh, darn it the lines busy. Well, i suppose i could mosey on down to the beagle and check it out for you. Who knows . Maybe ill get lucky. And find cindy. Hmm . Oh, yeah, and that, too. And you call us the minute you get down there. Okay, okay oh. Jack. Oh, what are we going to do . Janet, the first thing that you ought to do stop pacing. Its making me nervous. Im sorry, jack. Thats all right. Whats taking him so long . Who . Mr. Furley. Janet, the man has only been gone ten seconds. Would you cool it . knocking thank god. Cindy. Oh, its just you. With the welcome wagon. Dont pay any attention to her. Its nervous time over here. Cindy is missing. Yeah, furley just told me. Whats the story . An empty bed, a broken heel, no note people jumping up and down and nobody answering that door. You get the picture . Yeah, but its a little out of focus. Do you want to help us or not, larry . Calm down, janet. Maybe she just took a walk along the beach. You know how much cindy likes to walk along the beach. Of course it is a little silly walking along the beach this time of night. It is, you know, high tide. The waves are over ten feet high. You could be swept out to sea. Thanks for stopping by. And theres no moon. Its dark out there paradise for muggers. They creep up on you. I dont want to hear anymore. Larry, i dont know how we get by without you. In that case, id better stay. So, hows business . Oh, its slow. Nobodys tried to pick me up or take me home with them. I dont know. Maybe its this dress. No. You look great. Hey, hey you are the bestlooking undercover cop on the vice squad. Do you think its too late to still get something to eat . Ill go to the kitchen and check. Ill be right back. Hi. Hi. You looking for someone . Yeah, im looking for a girl. Oh. Thats interesting. Any special kind of girl . As a matter of fact, yes, i am. A blonde. About your size. Well, what i mean is. Oh, a tall blonde with blue eyes, huh . Yeah. You think you can help me . Hmm. Maybe. Oh, gee, that would be great. Id be ever so grateful. How grateful . Huh . Well, im a working girl and, uh, time is money. Money. Is no object. Here. How does three dollars sound to you . Must be the dress. Either that or youre the cheapest john ive ever busted. Busted . Youre under arrest for solicitation. You mean you. . Come on. Come on. Damn it well, any luck . Nah. The line at the beagles still busy. Why doesnt mr. Furley call us . Dont worry, janet. Ill go down to the beagle and see whats taking them so long. Lar. Lar. Listen, pal, i dont know how long i can keep janet from going completely bananas so call us in ten minutes whether you find them or not. Okay, no problem, man. Thanks, man. Boy, jack, this is really turning into a nightmare. I mean, first we come home and we find cindy missing. Then mr. Furley goes out to find her and he never comes back. But i think its pretty strange the way people are disappearing around here. Dont you think so, jack . screams oh, jack oh, dont you ever do that again. I wont. I wont. What did i do . Look, theres only one thing left for us to do, jack. We have got to call the police. No, janet, were not calling the police. You sit down here and calm yourself. I cant. Okay. Um. Um. Lets straighten up the room. Straighten up the room . No. Its cindys turn. Thats a good idea. Lets straighten up the room. Ill do the couch. All right, okay. Janet. Hmm . Please tell me youve started smoking cigars. I dont smoke cigars, jack. Thats what i was afraid of, janet. Hmm . Broke into the apartment. And wrestled poor cindy to the floor. Breaking the heel off her shoe. Before he carried her screaming off into the night. Call the police call the police hello hello give me that. Shes only been gone a few hours, but. Uh, well, uh, i dont know exactly. What . Oh. Oh, i didnt know that. Um, okay. Yeah, bye. What did they say . Well, they said they dont consider a person missing until theyve been gone 24 hours unless theyre 11 years old or younger. You dummy why didnt you lie about her age . hey, mike. Oh, sorry, larry, were closed. Im looking for mr. Furley. He hasnt been in tonight. Are you sure . Positive. The way he dresses i couldnt miss him. Thats odd. How about cindy . I know she hasnt been in. I saw her on my dinner break. Where . When . A couple hours ago, getting into some guys car. Whose . I dont know. Some older guy. Whwhat did he look like . Well, he was, he was a big guy. He had grayish hair and i think he was wearing a hearing aid, yeah. Because she was crying when she got in the car. Oh, no, i got to call jack. Let me use your phone. Its out of order. You have to use the phone booth outside. Right. Uh, youre not going to believe this. Heres a dime. Put this on my bill, okay . Right. hello, jack . Its me, larry. Listen, something fishy is going on here. Furley never showed up at the beagle and mike said he saw cindy being thrown into the car by some big, meanlooking grayhaired guy with a hearing aid and thats not the worst of it. She was crying. Huh . Jack, i cant hear you. Can you hear me . Nnection or something. Ill call you right back. Come on, larry, call back. Whats the matter, jack . Larry said furley never made it to the regal beagle. No now hes missing, too. And mike saw cindy being thrown into a car by a toughlooking grayhaired creep with a hearing aid. I told you she was kidnapped. Did he say anything else . No. The line went dead. Oh, my god theyve got larry, too. Im calling the police. No, you cant call the police. They said you had to wait 24 hours. Thats only if the person is missing. Now, wait. Hello, police . Id like to report a burglary. Yeah, somebody stole my roommate, my landlord and my neighbor. Hello . Hello . They hung up on me. No, youre not. Whenever anyone leaves this apartment they dont come back. On Second Thought maybe id better stay with you all right . Well just sit here and wait for someone to call. Okay. Poor little cindy kidnapped by a sex maniac with a hearing aid. Yeah. Even if she says yes, he wont hear it. Hello . Somebody . Help aah hello, officer. All right now, come on. Get out of there. shrieking get up mommy . Get up jack, jack, jack, its 5 00 in the morning. We must have fallen asleep. Its 5 00 in the morning. We must have fallen asleep. Did the phone ring . Are we awake . Just calm down. Okay, well just. I had this dream about cindy, jack. I dreamt how much fun it was having her around here. Janet, dont wor. Calm down. Shell be back. I was just starting to get used to her. You know that cute little way shes got of bumping into things and knocking them over especially you. You know, in a, in a way i sort of feel sorry for the guy who kidnapped her. Theres a. Whats this . Its a matchbook. I know what it is, but where did that come from . The blue lanai motel. So what . Matches. The cigar. Janet, whoever was here is staying at the blue lanai motel. And cindys probably with him. We got to go down there right now. Janet, bring a picture of cindy. Okay lets go. Janet. Ill handle this. Leave it to me, okay . Ah, good morning. Yes, hello. I suppose you want a room . Pardon me . No luggage . Luluggage . I cant rent you a room without luggage. This is a respectable motel. Uh, just a minute. Okay, ill rent you luggage. Five dollars a bag. Uh, will that be cash or credit card . You dont understand. We dont want a room. Iits this girl right here. Have you seen her . Maybe. What do you mean . Either you have or you havent. Mister, im like a pay phone if you want to get the dial tone you got to put in a dime. Well, i dont, i dont have any money. Gadzooks. Theres five dollars. Yeah, ive seen this girl. Yeah . Oh, ooh, who was she with . Hey, thats a longdistance phone call. Janet . sighing she was with a guy about 50, gray hair, uh wearing a hearing aid. I knew it what room are they in . Good morning, daddy. Good morning, daddy. Good morning, darling. Did you sleep well . Well, but not long. It was my fault for keeping you up talking. But i loved every minute of it. I wish you were staying longer than one day. One day, another town the next. I know, daddy. Ive got to set up my samples. Ive got some customers coming over. Oh, well, ill go shower. Okay, honey. knocking at door who is it . Jack uh, room service. Breakfast is ready. I didnt call room service. Well, its compliments of the management. Hes got a knife kiais screams take it easy, will you . Whats going on here . All right, all right, where is she . What . Wheres cindy . What . Dont play dumb with me. I cant hear without my hearing aid. shouting where is cindy . we want her now janet jack come on, lets make a run for it. Jack, what are you doing to my father . Im terribly sorry. It was a huge misunderstanding. I broke your hearing aid. Testing, one, two. screaming it works now. Daddy, these are my roommates. Mr. Snow oh. Jack, you better start explaining. It was a misunderstanding. We thought you had been kidnapped. Kidnapped . Why . There were all these clues. What clues . Your broken heel, for one. My father dropped by unexpectedly and i was so excited that i jumped up and down. And she broke her heel. Yeah. Of course janet, how else would she break her heel . I dont get it. Elementary, my dear janet. That must have been the noise that woke up furley. How come you didnt answer the door when mr. Furley came up . Janet, use your head. They had left the apartment by the time heot upstairs. Janet, janet, janet, wake up and smell the coffee. The girl hadnt seen her father in months. Those were tears of joy. No, they werent. My father told me wilbur was really sick. Or tears of sadness. That was my second choice. Whos wilbur . My basset hound. Ive had him since i was ten. Cindy, were sorry. And by then, it was very late and since there were two beds here i asked cindy to stay over. And so i did. I tried to get janet to believe Something Like that but would she listen . No. Could i ask you guys one question . Why didnt you guys read the note that i left . There wasnt any note, cindy. Yes, there was. I left it by the phone. The only thing on that table was the phone bill. I got it right here in my hip pocket. See . Isnt that silly . giggling ive got to be moseying along. Just a minute, jack. You have had that note in your pocket this whole night . And you never even bothered to read it . It was a mistake mr. Snow, can you help me out here . Sorry, cant hear you. Then i wont say goodbye. Janet you were the one who started it. Jack janet did you find cindy . Oh, yeah, mr. Furley and it was a misunderstanding. She is with her father. Oh, good. I was really worried about her. We were worried about you. What happened . To me . Actually, i met this lady, and, uh. Well, she kind of smiled at me, and, uh. Well, one thing led to another, and. Matter of fact, i spent the night at her place. Mr. Furley, you dog. Did you find cindy . Yes, larry. Shes with her father. Ive got to go. Wait, wait. Hold it. Did you tell them about last night . Howd you know about last night . The same girl . No. In the same police station. He was picked up for solicitation. Soliciting . Mr. Furley, you told. Who are you going to believe me or a used car salesman . Threes company was videotaped in front of a studioududience. I love going to the movies in the other realm. You see next years blockbusters before theyre even made. Those poor mortal actors they actually think they have free will. Ow what is going on . So, this is what it feels like to be a mime. Thats odd. To anyone before. Well, well have to figure it out after the movie. Youre just going to leave me here . Sorry. Were late. At least we wont have to sit through the whole movie listening to you say, now, which one is he . Oh, but. oh. This is so unfair. So, looks like its just you and me. Want to do each others hair
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