Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170809

Hi. Im jimmy. Im the host. Thank you for watching. Thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] i dont know whats going on. But right before i came out, you know, right before the show theres a guy who goes like like right as the theme goes and dicky announces me this guys like go out. As if i havent done this 14,000 times. But there was a big blob glob of something in my hair. I dont know what the hell it was. And i just pulled it and its gross. And i dont know what it was. Did you leave some of your hair gel back there . Guillermo i think it was the station manager. Jimmy was he wearing a lot of hair gel . Guillermo yeah. Jimmy how would he have gotten it onto my head . Guillermo because he say go and then he touch your head. [ laughter ] jimmy thats what it was. Thank you for clearing that up, guillermo. I tell you something. Its a beautiful summer day here in l. A. And suddenly i was on google searching ways to survive a nuclear attack. [ laughter ] fyi, there are no ways, it turns out. President trump today took a break from his vacation to issue this extraordinary threat to north korea. North korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen. He has been very threatening, beyond a normal statement. And as i said, they will be met with fire, fury, and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before. Thank you. Thank you. Jimmy so as you can see, the vacation is really relaxing him. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] fire and fury and listen. Were sorry we made fun of you. Go back to golfing before you kill all of us. [ laughter ] i watched that clip about a dozen times today. And after viewing number 8 i noticed this. Look at this. Watch as it goes over. The camera pans over to kellyanne that right there, that is the face of someone who just realized she has to get up at 4 00 a. M. Tomorrow to defend this all day. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] by the way, hes saying this. Hes making this crazy threat. From a golf course. Theres probably a little shop that sells range balls in the next room. [ laughter ] hes making threats from nuclear war. U. S. Intelligence, by the way, assessed that north korea has successfully produced a miniaturized Nuclear Warhead that could potentially reach california, oregon and washington, three states that didnt vote for guess who, by the way. [ laughter ] its times like this im glad all our top scientists and engineers are working on instagram filters. Because cnn keeps showing this map that is making me very nervous. Basically, were one trump toilet tweet away from being the United States of florida. [ laughter ] north korea responded today by saying theyre carefully examining a plan to strike the u. S. Territory of guam. So they responded to the president s threat about not making any more threats with another threat. And you wonder whats going on, but theres a lot of history between the United States and north korea. And theres history between trump and kim jong un. Kim jong uns issues with donald trump go back to something that happened in 2009, when the now president did something that the north Korean Leader can never forgive. Dennis, youre fired. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you see, he fired his best friend in the whole world with no severance pay. But heres the thing. Donald trump and kim jong un both seem like reasonable men. Im sure everything will work out fine. Trump is of course claiming that hes away from work because the white house is undergoing longscheduled repairs. The workers are replacing ac system which is 27 years old in the west wing which has been on the fritz causing the president to repeatedly overheat. And so far they say the repairs are on schedule for the president s return. Construction workers have started a 3. 5 million renovation at the west wing. The oval office among the rooms being refurbished. The walls now bare. The historic resolute desk removed so that the floor can be refinished. The buildings nearly 30yearold heating and airconditioning system is also being replaced. Very big job where you have to install wiring, ducting, micropho microphone, i mean not microphone. I dont know why i say this. [ laughter ] [ gunshots ] jimmy well, that ought to stop the leak. Well, with all the madness going on right now, with all the very serious things we have to worry about, this clip makes a lot of sense to me. This is from the bbc, where they have an anchor, a gentleman by the name of simon mccoy, who did not do a great job of hiding his distaste for a story he had to cover. Youre watching bbc news. Just bear in mind it is august. This does not look like a walk in the park. Dog owners and their pets in california have hit the waves in the Second Annual world dog surfing championships. Here are the pictures. The competitors main challenge is to stay afloat on the board. This is in the pacific near san francisco. But there are also prizes for the best dressed and tandem surfing dogs. The winner of course being crowned top dog. Thats a shame. Weve run out of pictures. Weather. Lets get the latest. [ laughter ] jimmy i guess hes a cat person. [ cheers and applause ] id watch that. Id love to see that guy read his kids a bedtime story. [ laughter ] meanwhile, youd think that with all thats happening with our neighbors to the north people in south korea would be on edge right now, but if this clip starring steph curry and his brother seth is any indication, they are not. [ speaking Foreign Language ] [ applause ] jimmy theyre having fun. Back to north korea. Which is the bigley story of the if not the year. People are understandably worked up about this. According to a new poll, and this poll was taken before the president s threat today, a majority of americans, 75 , believe that north Koreas Nuclear program is a critical threat to the United States. What i wonder is how Many Americans even know where north korea is. So we went out onto hollywood boulevard, while its still h e here, ch this is what we learned. Do you think the United States should consider military action against north korea . I would say yes. And where exactly is north korea . Its in what, as far as on the map . I dont know. Im horrible at geography. You can take a guess. Up here somewhere . And where exactly is north korea . Oh, god. Here we go. Let me guess, somewhere near here. That is the middle east. Yeah. So no. [ laughter ] i think its up top. I dont know. I really dont remember. Can you take a guess . I know this is africa. Is it somewhere up here . Ooh, thats europe. That is europe. You know, im really good at geography but this is very embarrassing because i dont even remember where the [ bleep ] north korea is. Excuse my language. Take a guess. Take a guess . Somewhere out here . Should we consider military action against north korea . I believe so. And where is north korea . Uh. North korea. Uh. Hold on. Its somewhere over in this area, i believe. Its in asia. Absolutely. Unless they moved it. Yeah. General vicinity. Is it over here somewhere . Oh, no. Thats the arctic. Where is north korea . Oh, shoot. I want to say somewhere in that area. Thats the middle east. Were already there. Here . Thats canada. The scariest part about north korea is it could be anywhere. Anywhere in here . Brazil. Mm. This is its not over here . Australia. Theyve done nothing to us. Right there. No. Wrong again. Thats india. Dang it. That one right there . No. I think thats mongolia. I dont know. Like maybe on here . Restart the vietnam war . I have no idea. Hey, in order to make an omelet youve got to break a few eggs, right . Im not a jeeg rafr. There. No. You want a hint . Its right above south korea. Australia. You just started world war 3. Can you at least point to where you are right now . Yeah. Over here. Nailed it. Im going to say right there. Thats it. Is it really . No, its not. Its right there. Jimmy all right. Well, you know, its [ cheers and applause ] by the way, we spotted a celebrity in our audience. Where are you from . Or do you even know . Im from virginia. Youre from virginia. And youve never seen north korea on the map. Aparentally not. Will you be able to get home do you think or no. Actually no. Did you finally figure out the i did. And do you think now you could remember where it is . Yeah. You do. Okay. Well, well find you again in a year. And well test you then. Okay . Well, there you go. We have a good show tonight. We have music from Lindsey Stirling. Jenny slate is here. And well be right back with milo ventimiglia. [ cheers and applause ] dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by progressive. When you switch to progressive. Winds stirring. Too treacherous for a selfie. [ camera shutter clicks ] sure, ive taken discounts to new heights with safe driver and paperless billing. But the prize at the top is worth every last breath. Here we go. [ grunts ] got em. Ahh. Wait a minute. Whole wheat waffles . [ crying ] why wait a minute. Whole wheat waffles . Having mplaque psoriasise is not always easy. Its a longdistance run. And you have the determination to keep going. Humira has a proven track record of being prescribed for nearly 10 years. Humira works inside the body to target and help block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to symptoms. In clinical trials, most adults taking humira were clear or almost clear and many saw 75 and even 90 clearance in just four months. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal, infections and cancers, including lymphoma have happened as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms, or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Join over 250,000 people who have chosen humira. Ask about the 1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists. Humira go. With at t you can get your entertainment right here. Right now, when you get the incredible iphone 7 from at t you can get unlimited data and live tv. The channels you love. Your favorite shows and movies. Making your iphone into more of a. Oh my tv is ringing. Hey. Im in the middle of a. A second iphone from at t . Okay right now when you buy a new iphone 7 from at t youll get a second iphone 7 on us. And power both with unlimited data and live tv. What do we want . Catpacks when do we want em . Meow everything you need to ready, set, go back to school. The lincoln summer invitation is on. Its time for a getaway. Now get our best offers of the season. On the agile mkc. On the versatile midsize lincoln mkx. Or go where summer takes you in the exhilarating mkz. The lincoln summer invitation sales event. Ask about complimentary pick up delivery servicing. Right now get zero percent apr plus 1,000 dollars Summer Savings on the lincoln mkx, mkc and mkz she pretty much lives in her favorite princess dress. But once a week i let her play sheriff so i can wash it. I use tide to get out those week old stains and downy to get it fresh and soft. You are free to go. Tide and downy together. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hello. Welcome back to the show. Tonight a very funny woman. She has a new movie called landline. Jenny slate is here with us tonight. Then, her song is called loves just a feeling and thats true if you think about it. Lindsey stirling from the mercedesbenz stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, jim parsons, damson idris and well have music from the war on drugs. And thursday, john lithgow, jay baruchel and music from diana krall. So please join us for those shows. Our first guest tonight is a very talented actor whose last name automatically wins any game of scrabble. Hes an emmy nominee for his role on the hugely popular show this is us. Please say hello to milo ventimiglia. [ cheers and applause ] before we begin i want to say congratulations. Well, your show got 11 emmy nominations and you were nominated for best actor in a drama. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy congratulations to you. To you for your nomination and the shows nomination. Jimmy thank you very much. But best actor in a drama is really one of the hardest categories. Who else is in this category . Oh, gosh. Well, youve got Sir Anthony Hopkins. Jimmy yeah. Hes no good. Youve got bob oden kirk, matthew reese, liev schreiber. Sterling k. Brown. Kevin spacey. And then theres me. Jimmy you. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i finally made it thank you. I finally made it to the bottom of the top list. Jimmy well, dont say that. Thats a good group to be in. Thank you. Jimmy did you stay up early to watch the nominations . Were you nervous about it, thinking about it . . I wasnt nervous so much as i had a busy day, a busy morning. They start the announcements like 8 30 in the morning. I got out of my house at 8 25. I threw some headphones on to cancel out some noise, and as i was on the freeway my phone starts ringing. And im like its probably my friend russ saying it didnt happen, i got kicked in the teeth. Is russ the one that would break it to you . He is. Hes one of my closest friends and my producing partner. Hes always the one thats like buddy, it didnt happen. Im sorry, it didnt happen. Jimmy you look at the phone and its like oh, its russ. [ laughter ] no, he gives good news too. Jimmy okay. Anyhow, it was 8 35, and im like thats it. I let the phone call go. Then the phone rang again and again. And im like i should probably pick this up. So i pulled my motorcycle over and i hit hello and it was russ. And he was crying and he was excited. Buddy, you got nominated. Buddy, you got fing nominated. And i was like, what . What . And then it was like okay, ive got to get back on the freeway and get to work. So i got back on the freeway. Then by the time like i got from the news to the studio, it had maybe been about 35 minutes, and i had 200 and like 72 text messages. Jimmy for real . For real. I didnt know i knew tham people. Jimmy really. You give your phone number out too much. [ laughter ] i guess so. And then there were also like 50 voicemails and about 97 emails. So anybody that i knew jimmy your family was excited, i assume. Yeah. My parents, they were very proud, very excited. Although my father jimmy you brought something. Your dads instagram account. I had to share this. God bless my mom and dad for always keeping me in the world of creativity and being supportive. You know, thank you, mom and dad. But my dad, that wasnt the news of the day. Jimmy this was posted on the day of your nomination. On the day of the nomination. It also happened to be National French fry day. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy this is your dads. This is my dads. And he says, i have missed a few National Celebrations in my day, but i wont miss this one. Today is National French fry day. [ cheers and applause ] but the best was even the day after. The day after was National Chili mac day. So my dad took this beautiful photograph of chili mac. And then the following day was National Ice Cream day. And my dad was like god, these National Days are killing me. Jimmy is your dad a pot smoker . Whats going on here . [ laughter ] no, hes not. Jimmy hes just an intense snacker. Hes an aficionado of snacks. Hes the guy who when he gets on set okay, wherescraft services . Craft services is the place where theres snacks and food. Jimmy lu bring your parents to the emmys . You know, my mom and dad declined. They said theyre holding out for an academy award. Jimmy oh, no. I was like, i made it in tv and im going to the big show for tv. Theyre like no, were going to wait for the academy awards. Jimmy wow. Yeah. They declined. Jimmy i dont know what to make of that. Ill be honest with you. Me neither. Jimmy hey, you know what . I want to mention because i read in the news that Sylvester Stallone is going to be on your show next season. He is. Jimmy how did that happen . So i was in the writers room and im hearing all the stories about whats going to happen for this coming season. And the producers say to me, they have this idea for this big movie idol icon for justin hartleys character, for kevin. And theyre like we want someone like Sylvester Stallone. And i said, thats rad. And then they say to me, do you think hed do it . And i go, well, i dont know. And then they just stare at me. And i go jimmy because you worked with him. Because i played his kid in balboa. And it dawned on me. Oh, you want me to call him. Okay. Yeah. Ill put on my producer hat and ill call him. Jimmy so you made that call. Yeah. Jimmy how did you pitch it to stallone . I mean, i called him. Then when i got on the phone, hey, sly, its milo. How are you doing . [ laughter ] things are well . Hows your father . Yeah, things are well. How but . You know, just writing. [ laughter ] so then i pitch him this idea, this storyline of kind of what his involvement would be and you know, if you watch the show if you dont watch the sloe show plug your ears. If you watch the show you know basically justin hartleys character kind of made this transition he gets a big movie and his costar is stallone. And that was his movie idol. So when i kind of pitched it to sly, i said, you know, listen, my son, you are his movie idol but youve got to wonder where he gets it from. He gets it from dad. So his involvement was a very big part of my characters storyline, of jacks storyline. Which meant a lot to me because sly is one of my idols and i got to work with him. Jimmy this is a good pitch so far. Yeah. It was way more eloquent and took a lot longer. Jimmy its a solid pitch. Did he immediately say yes . He said it sounds pretty good. Send me some pages. So i sent him some pages. And then he wrote me the coolest email back where hed said something along the lines of this sounds this sounds what did he say . This sounds very cool. Ill be back in the states soon. And dare i say it, intriguing. [ laughter ] oh, man. I wish i could remember the exact email. Oh, this sounds this this sounds very worthwhile. Dare i say, it intriguing. [ laughter ] and i thought to myself, i said, i think hes going to do it. I think hes going to do it. Intriguing. So he agreed to do it. He never does television stuff. I think stallone loves you more than your real father does, ill be honest with you. [ laughter ] yeah. It was also one of those things where every time i saw sly throughout the years, the last 13 years bumping into him, he was always so warm with me. One time i walked up to him, it had been six years since balboa and i walked up and he was having dinner with bruce willis. And i had to excuse myself to bruce willis. Then i turned to sly and i said hey, sly. He goes, my son. And he stands up, this big hug. And you know, he always whenever wed finish a conversation hed always say to me, if you need anything, call. He was always very genuine. Jimmy but everyone says that and theyre full of it usually when they say it. Yeah. Not sly. Jimmy what they mean is im changing my number immediately. Yeah. I dont care that youre under Sir Anthony Hopkins anymore. Jimmy that is an intriguing story indeed. So okay, when we come back, youre going to tell us how your character jack died on this is us. Okay . Milo ventimiglia is here. Well ruin the whole thing. Well be right back. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by old navys onward program. Taking the next generation to the next level. [intern] hey bradley, do you remember when i took your photo this morning . [boy] yea [intern] im afraid i have some terrible news. You have. Bug eyes here come the bugs ahh bugs everywhere uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. Whoo testis this thing on . huh . Cmon your turn mmmm. Where do pencils go on vacation . loud speaker pencilvania pencilvania laughing frosted just right. Crunch in every bite. Kelloggs frosted miniwheats. The ultrafine mist startstoms working instantly to deliver up to 12 hours of ahhhhh get fast relief with vicks sinex. And still have dry eye symptoms . Ready for some relief . Xiidra is the first and only eye drop approved for both the signs and symptoms of dry eye. One drop in each eye, twice a day. Common side effects include eye irritation, discomfort or blurred vision when applied to the eye, and unusual taste sensation. Dont touch container tip to your eye or any surface. Remove contacts before using xiidra and wait at least 15 minutes before reinserting. Chat with your eye doctor about xiidra. Jimmy hi there. Welcome back. With milo ventimiglia. Jenny slate and Lindsey Stirling are on the way. Milo, the show is obviously phenomenally successful. Next season is at the end of september, right . Yes. September 26th. Jimmy and now we thought maybe at the end of last season we were going to find out how jack died, which people seem to really want to know. Can you tell us how jack died . I mean, you know that i cant tell you. Jimmy i do know you that legally cant tell me. But just as friends if we promise not to you know, if we keep it between us. [ cheers and applause ] im going to do you one better. I can tell you how he didnt die. Jimmy oh, all right. Cool . Jimmy will you narrow it down for us . Ill do that. Jimmy how didnt jack die . He did not die by sticking his head in a microwave while making popcorn, on the popcorn setting. He eats a lot of popcorn. Jimmy should i be writing these down . Yeah. Because youre going to definitely 140 character them later. Jimmy okay. Um. He didnt he didnt he didnt die while eating a Peanut Butter and banana sandwich on the toilet. Jimmy like elvis. Like elvis. Jimmy he did not die like elvis. He did not die gluten didnt kill him. Jimmy okay. [ laughter ] no gluten allergies. Not celiac. No. He was not overcome with emotion while he was at a bieber concert. Jimmy okay. Justin bieber didnt kill him. No. No. Wrong decade. Jimmy definitely wrong decade. Yeah. And he didnt die giving birth. Jimmy and thats it. Thats it for now. Jimmy i mean, thats a little something. By the way, were talking about decades and stuff. So jack is like 70s, 80s and 90s. And you can kind of tell which decade hes in based on the absence or existence of facial hair. Correct. Yeah. Jimmy so anyway, i figured the shows so popular you need some merchandising. So i had this made. And i think youre going like this a lot. Made a little wand out of this thing. This is you know the woolly willie . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy so this is the woolly milo. So what you do with this thing is thats you. Youve got to get it at the right angle. And then go ahead, you can play with it. Its your toy. So you can do whatever well, thats jack the wolfman. Jimmy thats wolfman jack is what that is. I feel like jimmy dont know wolfman jack anymore, huh . No. Jimmy it might be time for me to retire. Its hard to keep this clean. Jimmy were still working on it. Its a prototype right now. But i think by the way thats a great thats chocolate cake. Jimmy yeah, that looks really that looks absolutely perfect. [ applause ] its funny, though, how everybody gets into it. Ive taken the beard and the mustache and all that off. People are like what are we going to see of jack now . Im like maybe i just wanted to shave. I can wear all the fake stuff. Jimmy thats right. Maybe jack just wanted to shave. Its very good to have you here. Well see you at the emmys. Yeah, i will do that. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is us returns on nbc. Milo ventimiglia. Well be right back with jenny slate. Newscaster with so many projects in the works, it seems like Dwayne Johnson cant possibly take on any more. The rock oh, that sounds like a challenge. [crash] hey siri, get me a lyft ride to lax. [siri tone] [crash] [tires squeal] [jet engine] [siri tone[ painting, painting, painting. Siri mr. Nakamura can discuss your fashion line. Im out. Rock. Hey siri, take a selfie. [siri tone] [siri tone] p3 planters nuts, jerky and whaseeds. At . I like a variety in my protein. Totally, thats why i have this uh trail mix. Wow minty. P3 snacks. The more interesting way to get your protein. Get whatat olive garden. Ss new early dinner duos for just 8. 99. Choose from over 50 delicious combinations. And all the salad and breadsticks you want. From 35 monday through thursday. Hurry in, its early dinner duos. Only at olive garden. Are you ok . What happened . Dad kinda walked into my swing. Huh . Dont you mean dad kind of ruined our hawaii fund . I thud go to the thothpital. There goes the airfair. I dont think Health Insurance will cover all. Of that. Buth my fathe without that cash from aflac we might have to choose between hawaii or your face. Hawaii what . Haha. Hawaii you might have less coverage than you think. Visit aflac. Com and keep your lifestyle healthy. Aflac the ford summer sales event is in full swing. Ill jump out and guide you back. Easy, son. This is gonna blow your mind. Whoa. Awesome. That is really cool. Take on summer right with ford, americas bestselling brand. Now with summers hottest offer on ford f150. Get zero percent for sixty months plus an additional thousand on top of your tradein. Thats the built ford tough f150 with zero percent for sixty months plus an additional thousand on top of your tradein offer ends soon during the ford summer sales event. Youre more than just a bathroom disease. Youre a life of unpredictable symptoms. Crohns, youve tried to own us. But now its our turn to take control with stelara® stelara® works differently for adults with moderately to severely active crohns disease. Studies showed relief and remission, with dosing every 8 weeks. Stelara® may lower the ability of your immune system to fight infections and may increase your risk of infections and cancer. Some serious infections require hospitalization. Before treatment, get tested for tuberculosis. Before or during treatment, always tell your doctor if you think you have an infection or have flulike symptoms or sores, have had cancer, or develop any new skin growths, or if anyone in your house needs or recently had a vaccine. Alert your doctor of new or worsening problems, including headaches, seizures, confusion, and vision problems. These may be signs of a rare, potentially fatal brain condition. Some serious allergic reactions can occur. Do not take stelara® if you are allergic to any of its ingredients. Were fed up with your unpredictability. Remission can start with stelara®. Talk to your doctor today. Janssen wants to help you explore cost support options for stelara®. Whoo testis this thing on . huh . Cmon your turn mmmm. Where do pencils go on vacation . loud speaker pencilvania pencilvania laughing frosted just right. Crunch in every bite. Kelloggs frosted miniwheats. Jimmy hi there and welcome back. Still to come, music from Lindsey Stirling. Our next guest is an exceptionally funny comedian and actress and one of the few guests weve had whos written a book about a seashell. You can see her alongside edie falco and John Turturro in landline. It is in theaters now. Please welcome jenny slate. [ cheers and applause ] well, its very good to see you. How is your summer going so far . Good . My summer is going, but i have been sort of promoting this movie all over town. Jimmy oh, so youve been working all summer. I have been working but thats also a lie ive been telling right away because ive been eating a lot of chicken fingers and drinking beer. [ applause ] thank you. Jimmy when youre eating chicken fingers and drinking beer, that doesnt count as work . I mean, it counts as a treat that i get for doing my work with my friends who i made this movie with. So its sort of like a beautiful package. And also my friends love chicken fingers jimmy well, who doesnt love chicken fingers . Thats one of those things, when really the only reason to have kids is so you can get the rest of their chicken fingers. [ laughter ] you dont have to feel like embarrassed about ordering chicken fingers the a restaurant. And then you eye them and youre like eat your chicken fingers. But you dont mean it. You really want to eat their chicken fingers. I mean, not if youre my parents. Jimmy what, they didnt allow chicken fingers in your life . I mean, we i grew up you know, when i was little, there wasnt whole foods. There wasnt anything like that. And my parents were like artists, hippies. And we went to a food coop in the basement of like a local church. Jimmy oh, no. Yeah. Which is also you know, were also like jewish people. So i was like what in general is this . [ laughter ] what is everything . What is this thing, this place that were going, what is all this grain that were buying . Like grain. You have to soak. And it was like oh, food was a big now this is the food that i eat. Like as an actress i eat kale and quinoa. Jimmy oh, yeah. Because youve got to youve got to yeah. And chicken fingers. I eat garbage. I dont knowy act like jimmy oh, your parents kept you on a very Strict Health food diet as a kid. Yes. Jimmy no monlds, none of that stuff. No. Mcdonalds, like my mom would be mcdonalds . As if she was saying a swear. Like if you say mcdonalds youre saying the f word almost. About food. Yeah. But it was the kind of thing it would be more important for me to walk through the kitchen with a glass of red wine as an 8yearold than to somehow have found a can of coke and cracked it open and just like like that would be jimmy oh, no soda even. Nothing like that. Tonic. Jimmy she called soda tonic . Yeah. Jimmy why . [ laughter ] isnt tonic supposed to help you . Like in the olden days . Like have a tonic jimmy what century did you grow up in . [ laughter ] im 200. Jimmy were you guys traveling to the coop in a buggy . You know what we were in, if you dont mind me saying so, was like a very old volvo that the muffler had fallen off of. Jimmy oh, wow. So it was like you drive it. And my mom had terrible carpal tunnel and one of the windows was stuck down. And it was a shift. So shed be like oh it killed to shift. And then the car itself was it was like it would and i was just like i hate this, why do we not have a Dodge Caravan . [ laughter ] why is like my mom it killed her to drive the car. Its such a big bummer. I want to ask you about something you tweeted recently. Ive written it down here so i dont get it wrong. You tweeted no joke. A psychic told me to listen to Gloria Estefans coming out of the dark. So im doing that. Doing that because i see the light. Yeah. Shes like i feel it jimmy is that true . Oh, 100 true. Like i went to a psychic because im trying to figure out whats up. And life is a journey. Sometimes theres darkness and shadow. So i went and i thought this guy was going to be like you have you know, youve been through this or that. And like i dont know. You have like the spirit of Emily Dickinson following you around. And its wonderful you like her work but shes very dark and you should like release or something. But instead he was like, you know what . And i was like, what . And he was like, do you know Gloria Estefan . And i was like, not personally, i dont know her. And he was like, girl, you need to listen to coming out of the dark by Gloria Estefan. I was like, sold. I cant believe i paid 200 for this, but [ laughter ] every day, like every morning im literally like coming out of the dark jimmy is it working for you . What do you think [ cheers and applause ] jimmy is it like conga would that help me do you think . I think conga would help everybody. Jimmy oh, sure. Wow. Thats a weird thing to suggest. And can i just tell you the tiein real quick . Because if it had been anyone else, if he was like carly simon, i would have been like sure, i will because i love her as well. But this seemed magical because i had seen a psychic in 2008 by the way. Who had been like you need to do a onewoman show and then youll be given the big stage. Thats what she said. And by the way, the psychic was like a lady that i met while working in a bakery who wore two pairs of glasses at once. And i was like, i dont know, ill give you my money. She was like, you should do a onewoman show and youll be given the big stage. And i was like ooh. Im imagining like a castle with a huge stage where like the town comes and sees me eat my lunch or something. But then i ended up doing a onewoman show that took place at my funeral if i died as an eccentric millionaire. And i 12k50ided oh, i was smoking a ton of weed at the time. Jimmy okay. Yeah. It makes sense. You didnt have to say it. We all kind of just got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And im currently on mdma. So i did this show and one of the people that i was fixated on at the moment was Gloria Estefan. Jimmy oh, my goodness. Right . Because i was on drugs and i thought she had had a terrible bus accident and i thought that she had been ejected from her bus and then run over by her bus. Thats not what happened at all. Again, on drugs. And so i did an impression of her thanking me in the eulogy being like i love jenny slate, she bought me a new bus because my last bus drove me over, it landed on top of me, its a bad bus. Whatever. And im like this is weird, this is art for nobody, but im doing it. And the second show someone from snl came and saw it and they were like come in and audition next week. And i had nothing to do in the audition. So i auditioned with this horrible insult, like very kind of offensive almost impression of Gloria Estefan. And that was it. And you got on saturday night live. You came out of the dark. [ cheers and applause ] jenny slate. Well be right back. Unbelievable. 60 of women are wearing the wrong size pad and. Experience leaks. Introducing always my fit. Find the number thats right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. The better the fit, the better it protects. Always. Be impressive be impressive be impressive be impressive be impressive everything you need to ready, set, go back to school. You can do endless move 201online research. T, or, you can take advantage of our best offer ever on an xt5. Dont wait. Our 2017 models will be moving fast. You can drive a car. Or you can drive a cadillac. Come in now before the end of our made to move 2017 clearance event and leave with the perfect cadillac xt5 for your next adventure. Choose a low mileage lease on this xt5 for around 339 per month. Depression is a tangle of multiple symptoms. Thats why theres trintellix, a Prescription Medication for depression. Trintellix may help you take a step forward in improving your depression. Tell your healthcare professional right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. Do not take with maois. Tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications, to avoid a potentially lifethreatening condition. Increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur, especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin or blood thinners. Manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. May cause low sodium levels. The most common side effects were nausea, constipation and vomiting. Trintellix had no Significant Impact on weight in clinical trials. Ask your healthcare professional about trintellix. You have. Bug eyes [intern] i have some terrible news. Theyre destroying the whole town my god, you barfed. This is how hendricks i cant kick me. Im trying to help you. I have to go to school, dana. I dont yeah, you have to go to work. Lets go to the bathroom. No. Dont do it. Shut up. Oh, my god. Im going to kill you. If you want to use the bathroom then use the bathroom by yourself im not your butt cracks in my face. Good. Then enjoy it. What . Jimmy thats jenny slate in landline. [ cheers and applause ] tell us a little bit about this film and the idea of what exactly was going on there. Yes. This film is about a woman in a brown velvet thong body suit. Jimmy okay. Who throws up. No. This movie is my second movie with the director gillian robespierre. We made obvious child woechlt its about two sisters who discover their father played by John Turturro is possibly having an affair on their mother played by the magnificent edie falco. Jimmy ah. And my characters engaged, in a longterm relationship and seeing her fathers infidelity kind of creates a little earthquake in her life and in her personal behavior as well. And its funny and a little sad, and i really love it. Thats great. You were an executive producer on the film, correct . Yes, i was. Jimmy did you have Jobs Associated with that or was that just something, a title that you get . Its sort of a title. But it also means that like if somebody makes you wear something you can be like no. Although thats not a good example. [ laughter ] i didnt exercise any of those privileges. Yeah, just start wrangling chicken fingers. Yeah, you have some creative input, which is nice. Jimmy and youre doing standup in toronto. I am. Jimmy the comedy festival. Is that something you still enjoy doing, standup comedy . I love it. Yes. I love it. Because i really love human beings. Jimmy and they come to the show, right . They tend to flock. Yeah. They do. Jimmy in fact, from what i understand, ive not seen you do standup but your audience is exclusively human. Yes. And then some ghosts. Jimmy there are ghosts there. Yeah. There will be spirits. Jfrpt do y jimmy do you believe in ghosts . Oh, yeah. Bigtime. Jimmy oh, you do. Yeah. But i feel they know im gentle, so they dont approach. Jimmy is that important to have it in their head that youre gentle and then they will leave you alone . Yeah. Thats like how i go through the entire world with also live people. [ laughter ] jimmy i like that. I think thats a good philosophy. Generality sxl no one will approach. . Im like im not a predator. Come as close as you want. Im just going to give you a little ill just like paw you down or whatever. Im just here for fun. Come on. Jimmy its jenny slate. Shes just here for fun. And shell paw you down. Landline is the movie. It is in theaters now. Well be right back with Lindsey Stirling. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Youbusted tail. Rd. And impressed the boss. Maybe, its time to be your own. Transform your career with strayer universitys mba program today. Lets get it, america. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy i want to thank milo ventimiglia, jenny slate, apologies to matt damon. We did run out of time for him. Nightline is next. But first, here with a new song, loves just a feeling, with help from rooty, Lindsey Stirling i wonder what im running from stay inside and barricade the doors miss the sun to avoid the storm would do anything to feel the warmth i wonder where im going wrong cause loves just a feeling some kind of emotion when you need the healing when youre all broken dont overthink it but for the moment live slowly cause loves just a feeling and right now im open im open i wanna fall like i wont hit the ground i wanna dance like nobodys around walk on the edge and not look down follow my heart and lose my head into the clouds it took a while but im here now cause loves just a feeling some kind of emotion when you need the healing when youre all broken dont overthink it but for the moment live slowly cause loves just a feeling and right now im open im open i hold my hands up afraid of so much its time i let it all go maybe ive lost touch in all the blind love im gonna let it all go cause loves just a feeling dont overthink it cause loves just a feeling some kind of emotion dont overthink it but for the moment live slowly [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, fire and fury. North korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury. President trump threatening north korean dictator kim jong un. The alarming warnings from u. S. Intelligence tonight. Plus, evancho encore. Shes the child prodigy who broke through on americas got talent. The teenager sparking controversy for her performance at the president ial inauguration. You lost fan base . Yes. Standing up for her sisters lifealtering decision. I was born Jacob Michael evancho. Reporter and now after the president s tr