Pretty hard. Stephen thanks for sharing that story with me, alexander. Just alex. Tonight stephen welcomes, alexander skarsgard, natasha leggero, and ziggy marley. Featuring jon and stay human. Now its time for the late sho e late show with Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs band playing late show theme cheering and applause Stephen Stephen thank you so much thats good thank you very much. Thats very generous of you. Please sit down. I think ive sucked enough of your life force out of you for now. Welcome to the late show, im Stephen Colbert. Hell of a game last night. Everyone see it . If you didnt, the Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Golden State Warriors in game seven to win the nba championship woooooo cheering and applause stephen and hold on. For all my golden state fans out there, wooooooooo. You didnt watch you watched . I watched. I love the game. Stephen basketball had to win. For reasons of ratings, i dont want you to tell us. I was happy with the outcome. Stephen i think you just played your hand, jon. This game had so many unforgettable moments steph curry tying up the game in the Fourth Quarter with a deep three, lebron james coming out of nowhere for this incredible block, and that amazing shot from downtown by ramsay bolton. Ok, i may have occasionally switched over to game of thrones. Lot of injuries in that game. Spoiler alert i have a feeling some of those characters might be on the dl next season. laughter stephen and it was an incredible night for lebron james. He put up incredible stats 27 points, 11 rebounds, 11 assists, and like 300 dribbles. Maybe more. I lost count after a while. It was clevelands first sports championship in over 50 years cheering and applause stephen it was great to see the whole city gather in celebration with zero rioting. They are saving that for the republican convention. cheering and applause stephen of course just flipped over burning elephants. Of course, ending that streak was especially meaningful for lebron james. Only two years after returning to cleveland, he brought his home town back from a 31 deficit against the team wi history. Its an inspiring cinderella story, if cinderella had first betrayed her family by taking her talents to south beach. laughter stephen cinderella, go to helley stephen so no surprise that once buzzer sounded, lebron was overtaken with emotion. Which means not only is he chasing jordans Championship Rings hes also coming for jordans memes. And in his postgame interview, lebron knew exactly who to thank for his citys return to greatness. I dont know why the man above gave me the hardest road, but its nothing the man above dont put you in new situations you cant handle. This is what he want me to do. Stephen thats right. According to lebron james, god wanted the cavs to win the care that clevelands long sports drought is over . Lets find out. Are you there, god . Its me, stephen. Hello everyone. Hello go cavs wooooo applause stephen so lebron was right. You were supporting cleveland the whole time. Well, not the whole time. I was a steph curry fan for most the season. That guy is unbelievable. He hit some shots even i couldnt make stephen so what happened . Have you seen his shoes . laughter stephen wait a second lord. You ended the warriors historic season because of stephn currys shoes . Thats not the only reason. Little Melissa Franklin of shaker heights, ohio said her nighttime prayers. Meanwhile, Jimmy Conklin in oakland was having impure thoughts about his camp counselor. laughter for shame you destroyed the greatest season of all time, jimmy. Hope it was worth it you little pervert laughter stephen that was really rough. I mean i need some sunscreen lord. God, i got to say. This really makes you seem kind of petty. Stephen, have you read the bible . I told abraham to kill his son just to see if he was into me. laughter good times. Stephen i ovens, but why did you make cleveland suffer for so long . What do you mean . I have blessed the people of cleveland with so much. For example, the rock and roll hall of fame and, um, that basketball game last night. laughter stephen well, lord, its just nice to know that you dont actually have anything against cleveland. Oh, heavens no. Its chicago im going to punish laughter you should see what i have planned for the second half of the cubs season you ever see someone pitch with leprosy . Gives new meaning to the term knuckle ball. Stephen god, everybody. Give it up king james rules stephen always good to have him step by. Its always good. Hes welcome here any time, any time. applause stephen speaking of biblical punishments, donald trump. laughter Steph Stephen lets call them trump bombs. Were going to have to say that mans name so many times, im thinking of different ways to do it. Thats the trumpbump. Get used to it. For all of the talk of trumps business acumen, he hasnt actually released a lot of information on how hed run the every time somebody maybe makes a threat, there go the ships, there go the planes, there goes everything. Every time you turn on one of those aircraft carriers, it costs you probably 1 million. I would say dont turn it on the captain would say we want to show you how great these engines are working. No, i dont want to hear it just dont laughter stephen thats a great point. You can save a lot of money by not turning on aircraft carriers. You can save even more by putting the engine in neutral when the waters going downhill. Just coast to the middle east. Did you notice that little keyturning motion he made . Thats how he thinks that aircraft carriers start like pontiacs. Ji ji ji. Dont, i dont got to be careful, dont pump the gas too much. You dont want to flood the carburetor of your Nuclear Powered aircraft carrier. And you know, its detailed policy statements like this that could be the reason why Trump Campaign manager Corey Lewandowski was fired today. Which is shocking. Somebody was managing that campaign . laughter cheering and applause stephen ji ji ji after defending lewandowski when he was charged with battery of a female reporter, why fire him now . The whole thing is a mystery wrapped in a riddle slaps in an enigma and sprayed with spraytan. The whole thing, it was all summed up by a source inside the Trump Campaign who told nbc news, no one knows what is cheering and applause thats true, thats true and just this afternoon his communication he director gave this statement. Whats happening . . . Stephen was it good . Its an oldie but goodie. Cant watch that too many times. And yet donald trump, after firing longtime advisors, supporters dropping left and rights, and no funding coming in still seems so confident. And i was wondering why, until i saw he has a secret weapon scott baio for my younger viewers who arent familiar with scott baio, he starred in joanie loves chachi and charles in charge. Which are two sitcoms youre also not familiar with. And recently, baio showed his support for trump in a fox Business Interview with ashley webster, who i would like to point out for no particular reason, is not named lester. It appears the president is very reluctant to say islamic terror . Would you agree . Very reluctant . Hes absolutely reluctant. I cant tell lester, whether hes dumb, a muslim or a muslim sympathizer, and i dont think he is dumb. So, at a certain point if you are having a party at your house lester, and you know that 2 of the people coming to your house want to kill you, wont you want to either figure out whos coming into our party, or not have a party . Whats the solution . Stephen i dont know whats more surprising scott baios opinion or the fact that someone asked scott baios opinion. cheering and applause stephen all right, next theyre going to ask thoughts on trumps border wall from wilson from home improvement. That, i would listen to. That guy i would listen to. Now as surprising as this seems, as surprising as this seems, baios been doing this his entire career. Just listen to this controversial political statement he made on charles in charge. So, i wonder how long it will take before your new corn pops . F. D. R. Knew pearl harbor was coming and did nothing to stop it. Stephen you know say hello to john batiste and stay human, everybody. Yesterday, yesterday, of course, was fathers day, did everybody have a nice fathers day . All the dads out there, you deserve it. Mine was fantastic. Did i not do a lot. I said all i really wanted was to sit on my back porch and have my kids come and drink with me. That story is strange but im telling you the truth. But apparently, some dads spent their time differently, because theres a new viral challenge sweeping the internet where dads around the internet are trying to with cheerios as they can on their sleeping babies. It beats the other challenge dads do on the internet trying to erase their browser history. As quickly as possible but this is stacking the heads and the arms of sleeping babies. Look at some of these photos. Look at that. Isnt that amazing . Thats pretty incredible. Really put some effort into you. Really reminds you why women have been caregivers since the dawn of humanity. Ooh come look, me stack maam moth bones on baby. Quick. Take cave painting i got to say, this dad cheerio challenge is much easier than the ones moms do when the babys sleeping, like do i have time to wash myself . And do i have any vomitfree shirts left . Now, i say that its sweeping the internet but the truth is who knows if anyone has actually seen those photos, because i also just saw this headline six in ten of you will share this link without reading it, a depressing new study says. Yes, the majority of the people forwardingng know what they just forwarded you. I mean it makes you question everything. Does my aunt even believe the ten reasons a cat is better than a husband . Im not sure why its depressing though. I guess its because the writer just realized that no one was actually reading any of the content he was writing. Its like hes spent his career shouting into sock and tossing it off an overpass. Let me talk to that online writer as a representative of the dwindling broadcast tv industry. Did someone not read your Internet Post or retweet you . Im so sorry for you. Nobody kicked on it, nobody made you clickety clique. People leave me on in the background while they have sex cheering and applause stephen by themselves why dont you write an article about that that no one will read . Hashtag tragic. This makes sense to me. Were all so busy these days and actually reading the links that people send you takes time. You know, how its easier to call someone than to go see them . And its easier to text someone than to call them . Well, its easier just to retweet a headline than to remember why you get up in the morning. The point is, nobody reads anymore. Soon, we wont even read to our children. Well just show them a headline that says the top ten places sam wont eat green eggs and ham. Number eight will shock you. Its in a box. I see an opportunity here. If 60 of people on the internet are going to just share a link just because of what the headline says, why shouldnt i take advantage . In fact, when we put up this video of me on the internet tomorrow, the headline wont be Stephen Colbert discusses clickbait. Itll be, stephens live colonoscopy ends in disaster. Alexander skarsgard still missing. Well be right back with alexander skarsgard. The late show with Stephen Colbert. Sponsored by cocacola, youve got the feeling. But im not gonna let em catch me, no no, not gonna let em catch the midnight rider, yeaaahh. Not gonna let em catch the midnight riiiiiiiideer jump 50 feet over the rapids and i crash land. Check out my scar. Theres nothing there you didnt jump the creek theres a new neosporin antibiotic that minimizes scars. New neosporin plus pain itch scar 5 truth or dare is back. Ba da ba ba ba this piece is so you. I saw it and i was just like oh, i have to have it. State farm knows that every one those moments, theres one of these. This piece is so you. I saw it and i was just like i have to have it. From renters insurance. To rewards credit cards, state farm is here to help life go right. Stephen with welcome back everybody my first guest tonight thanks, thanks everybody my first guest tonight played a vampire in true blood. Now he plays an apeman in the legend of tarzan. Whatever happens, nothing to fear. Alexander skarsgard [ singing ] Stephen Stephen so nice to have you, so nice to have you here. Im pretty excited to be here stephenen. Stephen first time on the show but not your first time here seeing the show. I was right up there about five months ago. Stephen your honor hundred. But i did not know this was happening. Ive never been invited on the show before you about you know that im a human stephen i tried to get sweden to give me their twitter feed. I talked to sweeden. Sweden. How is sweden by the way . Pretty amazing. I vouched for this guy, did you get it stephen you dont have as much pull with we had a falling a couple of years ago. But i loved the colbert report, loved it, i watched it. I watched it religiously for nine years. Stephen yeah yeah. Then when you started this show i couldnt get on the show. But my friends did. My friend band was on the show, and i snuck in as their roadie. This is true. Dressed as their roadie right there, as a roadie character. So this is because i knew that you wouldnt let me into the building because of the restraining order and all that kind of stuff. Stephen exactly, yeah yeah. So i knew if i show up as myself, theres no way you are going to let me in. But what i did was, what does roadies look like. Denim jacket. Oh alex who is this guy . Stephen well look at this, i would say this face right here, definitely a face that does not get past security. There it was a very deep character you were in there, excellent character work you were doing. I was there enjoying the show. Isnt it Pretty Amazing to be here live . cheering and applause stephen thank you very mu thats lovely. Thats it for me. Thank you so much. Stephen hold on, i want to talk about legend of star sedan. When you took off your shirt, the cameras broke. We have the rest of the clip. Jim look at this. Whatever happens, nothing to fear. Understand . Uhhuh. Promise me bleeding. Stephen okay, what is i got to ask you something. What is this thing down here . What is, your pants, your pants are like, right down here and you got this thing going o like where g. I. Joe snaps on the legs. Do you still have that going on . No. Stephen you sure . The day we wrapped the movie, i just fell off the wagon hard. Stephen how did you get on the wagon that hard, what did you have to do to look like that . Magnus. Stephen magnus the trainer, the only name more scandinavian than yours . Magnus, the swedish dude, regular dude. Stephen what did you have to do . How did you get that shredded . You just do a lot of situps and then you just stephen and youre an eighth grade gym coach . Did you like bulk up or anything . We did it in phases. The first phases was three months of 7,000 calories a day and lots of weight lifting to get bigger. Stephen im on the 7,000 calorie thing. Im waiting to get to the weight lifting part of it. But the other part is less exciting, six meals a day and more cardio, to get rid of the fat. Stephen and no fun i bet . No fun for eight months. Stephen did you ever have a cheatday . Yes. It took me five months until i allowed myself or magnus gave me a cheatday. We shot the movie in london, we were at the gym and lifting weights and he saw that my will to live was fading. And then its been five months of that kind of stuff. And he was like alex let me take you to lunch, put down the weights and he took me to an Italian Restaurant and said, what do you want . I said what do you mean, chicken breast or salmon . He said no, anything on the menu, i got eat pizza, pasta, tiramisu. I get emotional just talking about it. Stephen were going to take obreak and well be back with alexander skarsgard. 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And were also talking about sweden and Bernie Sanders over here looks at the scandinavian countries and go, thats how we should be doing it. Do you think we could do that here and talk me up the scandinavian political or social system, is it really a good thing . Well, i think so. I kind of im a fan of free healthcare, im a fan of free education. Its an egalitarian society, its not a two party system, we have a central government, we dont have state governments. Stephen you still have royalty, right . Yes. Stephen they dont have you beheaded or anything . Do they have any power at a you ask me about that, because i know theyre watching. Stephen because you you what cant you say . What cant you say about the i love our king so much hes the greatest human being on the planet. Stephen if i just met you on the street i wouldnt necessarily know you were swedish. Are there thing yo things you wy or do, that we would know you were swedish . What would you do that would tip you off as being swedish that no one would do . What sets me apart is my breath in the morning. Stephen what have you been putting in your mouth . What a swede would do in the morning is boil an egg, and put a little caviar on the egg, which is a swedish smoked fish roe. S this and it is called calles creamed smoke roe fish egg and im debting a little gag reflex just thinking bit. The New York Times spoke about it and said it challenges the universal gag reflex. This is popular in sweden. This is incredibly popular in sweden. You can buy it in new york. Stephen we got it here. And its it looks um you got to give yourself, i mean stephen is this enough, am i doing it right here . Okay. You can be slightly more generous, if you have never tried it before stephen wait a second. Wait a second, ill put some more of this on. Want me to put some more of this on . Im good, i like just a little bit. But i think if youve never tried it before you really want to make sure that deal. For every one of these i eat, you open a button. cheering stephen here i go, um um. Fest cheering and applause stephen come on baby, what do you think . I think its time to go to commercial, the legend of tarzan opens july 1st. Alexander skarsgard, everybody wearing depend underwear has helped me feel more connected to the people around me. I know that im protected, and im meeting people. I feel really grateful just to be absolutely free. Unlike the bargain brand, new depend fitflex underwear is now more flexible to move with you. Reconnect with the life youve been missing. Get a free sample at depend. Com. Reconnect with the life youve been missing. If youve ever been lured in straight talk. By a low price wireless plan then theres not enough highspeed data or your bill is packed with overages and mystery fees. 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Please welcome natasha leggero. Stephen thats sich a beautiful dress. Oh thank you. Stephen a different color from every angle. Youre such a good dancer. Stephen what makes you say that . I saw you in a sketch and then you thats a summer dance,. Stephen did you study dance . No i just think youre a good dancer for a white man. Stephen im honored for a white man. The reason i ask if you dance is then you went and you studied like to be a serious actress. I went to acting conservatory. Stephen thats serious. It taught me to be a working actor in the 1700s. The payment is due on tuesday, the liquid u. I moved to los angeles, and i was like, bud light, it has drinkability. Stephen did you get cast . I used my sensing skills. Stage combat skills. Ste years while i was trying to make it in chicago. Did you have a variety i did everything. I got a paper route, i mowed lawns. As a child pen then i was a cht girl, i answered phones in a brothel. Stephen im sorry, one more time . laughter it was in australia, it was legal there. Stephen prostitution was legal in australia . It was when i lived there. Stephen they made an exception for you. It was 20 an hour but it was like 15 years ago. Stephen how do you get a job as a receptionist at a brothel . Its not hard. But then they wanted me to clean the towels and i quit. Stephen why were you in i was 21 and i had fallen in love with this 43yearold conartist. I had given up my rent controlled apartment in new york, this is an hilarious story, and i moved to be with him. We dont have to talk about that. Stephen how did that work out . No, it did not end well. But its good to get it out of your system in your 20s, you know . Stephen you would recommend it to other 20 year olds . It works for me. He was a low level con artist. Stephen thats not a con artist, thats like a medieval serf. No he like lied to me, and made me think he was rich, and i had to get brothel. I get to australia wed have to take the bus, even on the bus he would be like, driver, he would call the bus. And everyone hated him. Im like everyone in this country hates this man. Hes like, driver is this bus going to bonzai beach . The bus driver would say, i dont know, read the sign. And he is like, are you assuming sir that i can read . Stephen and you married him . He pretend theyd we were married. He stole all Mi University money. Stephen lets move on. Lets move on to your show. Happy story. Happy story. You have okay. Happy story. Now your show, a another period. Its not a period. Period. The latest issue of entertainment weekly, must list, whos number 1 . You are thank you. cheering and applause stephen people love the thing. Ricky lindholm and i created the show its like in new england, its pretty fascinating this period of history, 1900 to 1910, nobody was paying income tax, they were living like rappers. Its americas version of downton abbey. In america, its like i dont want to do this, you know, bleep you. I forgot, i sit in the floor. Stephen its the difference between Comedy Central and cbs. Youre still number 1 must list. Congratulations, thank you for being here. I hope we get to dance together. Natasha leggero, thank you so much do you really know what it means . No. The answer is no. Because its complicated and sciencey. But with my nutrition mixes, you dont have to worry about the science. You can just put it in your pie hole. Planters. Nutrition starts with nut. Jump 50 feet over the rapids and i crash land. Check out my scar. Theres nothing there you didnt jump the creek theres a new neosporin antibiotic that minimizes scars. New neosporin plus pain itch scar nice to meet you today were going to talk about the allnew 2016 chevy cruze, but heres the catch. Youre only going to answer me in emojis. So, this cruze has builtin 4g lte wifi® with 24 gigs of data. 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Ba da ba ba ba stephen he stephen here performing weekends long, ladies and gentlemen, ziggy marley i found a place where the weekends long dont check no luggage just carry on why should you laugh instead of cry why should you live instead of die ill be your reason its ok go on and give me a try walk with your head way up above the sky ill be your reason yeah dont be afraid for what is to come its been too long since that bell was rung ooh yeah ill be the reason why you should even have a little faith cultivate ill be your reason yeah i found a place where the weekends long found a place dont check no luggage just carry on all night long leave the sorrows indoctrinated cause now youve been emancipated say come on it couldnt be a sin maybe your god could see the heart of things and ill be your reason sometimes you need some time to play you think you lost but you just found your way ooh yeah ill be your reason come on now i found a place where the weekends long found a place dont check no luggage just carry on algh leave the sorrows indoctrinated cause now youve been emancipated what you believe in isnt what you thought oh my love i wouldnt break your heart ill be your reason pick you up at four four five keeping hope and dream alive ooh yes ill be your reason yeah are you ready for the time of your life hey we gonna live it up and everythings gonna be more than alright you know we never giving up are you ready for the time of your life hey we gonna live it up and everythings gonna be more than alright you know we never giving up i found a place where the weekends long, dont check no luggage just carry on leave the sorrows indoctrinated, cause now we are emancipated i found a place where the weekends long found a place dont check no luggage just carry on all night long leave the sorrows indoctrinated cause now youve been emancipated i found a place where the weekends long dont check no luggage just carry on leave the sorrows indoctrinated cause now youve been i found a place where the weekends long dont check no luggage just carry on leave the sorrows indoctrinated cause now youve been emancipated Stephen Ziggy MarleyStephen Ziggy Marley is currently on tour and his new album, ziggy marley is out now well be right back. Fios is not cable. Were wired differently. So we wired the wagners house with 100 meg internet. Which means that in the time it takes mrs. Wagners car to arrive for the airport, she can use fios to download the movie up in the air to watch while shes. Up in the air. Thats the power of fiber optics. And download speeds, tv and phone for just 69. 99 per month online. Cable cant offer internet speeds this fast at a price this good. Only fios can. Stephen thats it for t stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be aubrey plaza, hugh dancy, and andrew zimmern. Now stick around for james corden and his guests, Queen Latifah and laverne cox. Goodnight reggie are you ready to have some fun feel the love tonight dont worry where you come from. Its going to be all right. Its the late, late show. Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from clarkston county, give