What kind of animal came up with a certain length of nails which means they had over shot it at one point. [laughing] the tv show sledge hammer example not since i watched the show sledge hammer have i seen a negotiation go so badly. Can you imagine being a sledge hammer fan and that came on. Mom, come in the sledge hammer joke it was on for one and a half season in like 88. A womans vagina a vent. We always got to keep s p on their toes. We have to come up with things to call the vagina. So that we dont get bleeped. Joey adams has done more for flat chested woman in america. I dont know what the rest of the joke would be but the first part is so solid. Like for awhile i was like no i would totally date a flat chested girl. Then the movies ran their course and everybody knock it off. Give me some titties. The kind of people who get mexican fast food for here are the kind of people who dont mind getting caught up in a hate fight. I have a feeling the video thats meant for is extremely r
[cheers and applause] stephen thats it for the next two weeks. Good night. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon bam welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. Weve got a good one for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. I am particularly excited about this, the head coach of the new york football giants, tom coughlin is joining us later. Were very excited about that. [cheers and applause] he is a good and decent man who should in no way lower himself to appear on a program like this but were excited he has. First of all, you know yesterday senator rand paul embarked on a filibuster to draw attention to the issue of executive branchs seemingly unchecked power to use drones on american soil. The libertarian senator spoke for 12 hours for theified only by the occasional nougat filled government handout. [
Doesnt bother me. I dont think it necessarily makes me gay, that i would have sex with Justin Timberlake one time. [audience laughing] that doesnt make me gay. When he sings cry me a river i feel like hes singing it to me. I would have sex with Justin Timberlake and tom brady. It doesnt make me gay george clooney. Justin timberlake, tom brady, george clooney. Doesnt make me gay that i may have made a list of men i wanna have sex with i dont care. [audience laughing] david beckham, uh, joe biden. I wanna [deleted] the Vice President of the United States of america. [audience laughing] the shamwow guy. I wanna have hardcore sex with the shamwow guy. Clean ups easy think about that its right there. Uh, my third grade teacher mr. Yeager, uh, that guy. [audience laughing] uh. Detroit redwings, uh, alf. [audience laughing] rosie odonnell, ive always wanted to bang him. [audience laughing] Roger Federer and lastly comedian, michael kosta. Thank you, very, very much you guys have been awesome
Would drawing penises going into someones hand be a segue to, you know, murder . Of course not. I dont think so. Never . Im not gonna say never. So mayyes. So then yes. If he choked on it, maybe. Kyle. Show respect and apologize. Its a good way to go. All right, well, i did enjoy drawing penises next to your face, but i really do apologize. No, i dont accept that. I dont accept an apology that starts like that. [clears throat] i apologize for drawing a penis next to your face. Okay. All right. Youre a good kid. You have a lot of potential. And to be honest, i see some of myself in you. But you just have to try to become more like me and less like you. No, i disagree. I think he should more like himself well, he shouldnt be like himself obviously. Someone who draws penises. [overlapping comments] [engine sound passing by] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playin