Bulletproof Coconuts News Today

Going to lather up with lamp oil and burn myself in front of a live audience. but -- [ applause ] people are disgusting anyway, we couldnt get the required permits in time. so, instead, were going to try something else thats also never been attempted before on tv. yeah, a fewer mail segment. huh? it puts the "mail" in "mailing it in." just came up with that. god, i love language, jim. you know, like weaving a sweater. you take one word there, put it over there. all of a sudden, i should shut up....