Chuck E News Today

golf. i dont know why but we are. perhaps because i know so much about it. by so much, i mean very little. when i hear a four i think of how many times i get up at night to pee. when i hear about a nice sandwich, i picture myself in a thong in cabo. [laughter] >> when i hear about a handicap, i think of my favorite spot to park. [laughter] >> and when i hear of an foursome, i think of the wild weekend i once had with the jonas brothers. the pga tour in saudi-bag is emerging. it is ratt...

golf. i dont know why but we are. perhaps because i know so much about it. by so much, i mean very little. when i hear a four i think of how many times i get up at night to pee. when i hear about a nice sandwich, i picture myself in a thong in cabo. [laughter] >> when i hear about a handicap, i think of my favorite spot to park. [laughter] >> and when i hear of an foursome, i think of the wild weekend i once had with the jonas brothers. the pga tour in saudi-bag is emerging. it is ratt...

priorities straight. >> those in favor will say aye. >> aye. >> mr. chairman, on this vote, nine ayes and zero nos. >> the resolution is agreed to. >> greg: nine ayes like a fly. is that right? i dont think so. but theres a shocker. 25 days before the mid-terms, the january 6 panel votes unanimously to subpoena trump. thats about as surprising as the final score at a harlem globetrotters game and about as spontaneous as adam schiffs face. does that make sense? no. and what a co inciden...

Roadies for chuck e chuck blasted the crowd with marijuana using cannabis cannons. what a waste of bomb ass weed said dana perino. true. d.c. has cancelled the comic book featuring a bisexual superman after 18 issues were released. when reached for comment, superman said much like sex with the flash, it was over too soon. apparently d.c. execs said the last straw is when superman used his x-ray vision in a pride parade. [laughter] who needs x-ray vision during a pride parade? >> thats what i was...

Driven wildfire sparked by downed power lines for thousands to evacuate homes and businesses as the colorado governor declares a state of emergency. harrowing scenes in louisville and superior county, the entire town forced to flee. video on social media showing frantic parents running out of chuck e cheese with kids in so as the fire burns dangerously close. wind gusts of 110 miles an hour in some spots dragging flames and break getting thick smoke prompting the evacuation of the costco and loc...

So most kids ask for games, maybe a party at chuck e cheese and toys for their birthdays but for one 12-year-old he had a different wish. gavin roberts for his 12th birthday all he wanted was protection from the same virus that took the life of his dad, and earlier this week the wait was finally over. >> wearing the same cross his father wore when he went to the hospital with covid last year, gavin you see here on your screen ended up going to a pharmacy pretty far from his home to get the vacci...

Bar where someone has brought their child? it is an uncomfortable, awkward situation. especially when the people at the bar are drinking. you dont want to have -- i dont want to sit at a bar with my friends sitting and talking on a friday night or a saturday afternoon and have a bunch of toddlers in that bar. this may be brilliant business. they are merging chuck e cheese and your neighborhood bar, but i dont think it is a good idea. >> it sounds like this is something more for the parents than ...

police firing tear gas to try to discourage occupy oakland. the police say they cracked down after the protesters threw paint and rocks at them. at the same time this was going on, atlanta police moved in on the wall street protesters camped in a downtown park. there were more than 100 arrests last night combined in both oakland and atlanta. and rescuers pulled two more people out of collapsed buildings in eastern turkey today. the number of people killed in sundays powerful earthqua...

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Mail clerks, telephone operators, travel agents, video store clerks. i am bummed out about this. >> so is lily tomlin. of course, because the telephone operators. you know what, i think we need more telephone operators. do you know how hard and frustrating it is to call 411 and get the automated system and they never understand who, what you want, what number you want? youre like chuck e cheese and they go, febreez? >> no, chunk e cheese. >> oh, charles belize. >> no, you can use the internet. t...