Page 84 - Comedy News Today

whered you get those? >> a machine, you want one? >> no. >> you come home, turn on that television. >> take one. >> i dont want one. >> no, theyre good. >> i dont want it. >> what do you want? you want comedy. >> take one. >> no, kramer, stop it! >> and boom, there you go. a situation comedy. >> theres 23 minutes of magic. >> its so tasty, too! >> you fell in love with these characters. >> what you talking about, willis? >> we need to laugh at ourselves. >> you hide my clothes, im wear...

up for this mexican. ♪. ♪. >> pivot. pivot. shut up. shut up. >> i feel like we get to know these sitcom crashes, theyre your friends. >> i dont think its going to pivot anymore. >> you think. >> they were purely selfish, and purely immature. >> are you still master of your domain. >> im queen of the castle. you hope youll have those kinds of relationships in your life. >> tonight is about celebrating enduring bond as families, nay, family. >> good to see you too, girl, where are g...

have rotated and should have had separation. this is not a nominal situation. >> i do want to remind everyone, everything after clearing the tower was icing on the cake. >> neil: all right. icing on the cake. mission control putting a positive spin on spacexs giant new star ship rocket blowing up shortly after lift off. luckily nobody was on board when the booster rocket failed to peel away, tumbled and exploded four minutes in. such are the risks if you think about it when planning ma...

dad ran the place and end up like the soccer team that dared miss penalty kicks. all citizens are not equal in countries like that. power derives from proximity to power and that means the second most powerful people in the country like that are the children of the president. very often they dont have jobs and are addicted to something. joe bidens daughter abandoned her dire in a house she was staying in after getting out of rehab. in that dire ashley biden recounted house her father h...

How we got, here and how were heading. It was manufactured t divide our communities how many of you i want to make everybody proud but we dont take a lot of tim to make ourselves proud. And to see you, how are you are you comfortable carryin the burden absolutely i am quintessential places in the american experiments as the saying goes, everything is better in texas, includin the Aapi Community one of the biggest in th country, and its diversity i something to behold. I grew up in another gulf s...

welcome to our program. im bill hemmer. >> dana: im dana perino and this is "americas newsroom." the video is set to be released later today. just in time for nightfall and the weekend. now an official describes it as nothing short of appalling. it comes after the five officers involved in the arrest of nick jolles were charged with second degree murder. >> bill: as tensions boil the community holding a candlelit vigil for the 29-year-old honoring his memory and legacy and his mother c...

is the time to switch over to colbert. heres a look at their current studio audience. >> i wish you could see the smiles on the faces of our audience and i wish i could too because theyre still wearing masks. >> if you saw our audience, theyre not wearing knows masks. but i dont blame them for wearing masks. their breath must stink from eating so much crow. so this past saturday louie performed to sold out crowd at madison square garden. elaine boozeler cant do that. yeah. that was mea...

heartbreak goes so much deeper. at least 25 people are now confirmed dead in mississippi. another person was killed in alabama for perspective in all of this, consider this fact more people have been killed by tornadoes and the past 24 hours than in all of last year in the united states last hour, i spoke with mississippi democratic congressman bennie thompson, whose district includes some of the worst damage from the storm. heres what he had to say. it was devastation beyond imaginati...

it because you days dad ran the place and you did not want to make him mad .e and en you might wind up likelike t the members of his personal soccer team who dared to miss spenalty kicks. >> thats what third world countries are like. all citizens are not equal inver countries like that. power derives from proximityom to power. op that meansle in the second mosh powerful people in a countryftee like that are the children ofan the president. and very oftenar they dont have jobs and are a...

was that too abrupt a turn? >> you cant hold back the joy that you are talking out -- and i respect it. >> i like the week -- >> as i do respect the conversation you have with jessica valenti, also an important conversation -- >> join your weekend when your show is -- >> exactly. thank you, my friend. you enjoy yours. and thank you for all you at home for joining us this evening. it was a 2005 primetime emmy awards. everybody loves raymond won that year for best comedy. j.j. abrams los...