Don Negus News Today

Settling down to write a column after a week of deep-sea fishing is no easy feat. My mind keeps tripping back to reeling in giant mahi, snapper, barracuda, and shark in the company of like-minded individuals and various cigars and bourbon.

Fourteen months ago, almost to the day, my physical condition could be charitably described as . . . a hot mess, E. Coli blood sepsis, strep pneumonia, acute kidney failure, cardiac arrest, pre-existing type-two diabetes, severe neuropathy, muscle atrophy and the dreaded disorder commonly known as "sausage fingers."

Last week we were two chapters into a blow-by-blow chronicle of the vicious distemper that slammed yours truly out of the blue a year ago and effectively knocked my (expletive deleted) in the dirt.

Last week, at the request of my tens of readers, I began a blow-by-blow account of the heinous distemper that ambushed me last December and landed me in a hospital bed in one medical facility or another for ONE SOLID YEAR. And I'm still stuck in one today. For now. 

"It's a good thing you can write," my wife told me one afternoon while she repaired some plumbing under the kitchen sink.

The long and winding road That leads to your door Will never disappear I’ve seen that road before It always leads me here Lead me your door — Paul McCartney from ‘The Long and Winding Road” That was Wisconsin, that was yesterday Now I have nothing that I can keep ‘Cause every place I go […]

Did you steal it? Did you s**** me? Did you peel it? Did you do me? – The Who from “Did You Steal My Money?” Girls, girls, girls Long legs and burgundy lips Girls, girls, girls – Motley Crue from “Girls, Girls, Girls” Bob’s iconic Detroit-made Brooks leather jacket was gone, that much was certain, […]

Sure as the drive around Lake of the Isles is cool, I know (oh) Rock and roll will never die like the Minnehahaha flow (oh) Sure as the land of a thousand lakes is sometimes made of snow There will always be another king to lie buck-naked on the floor (oh) Rock and roll’s alive […]

Oops, I did it again I played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh Baby, baby Oops you think I’m in love That I got sent from above I’m not that innocent – Britney Spears from “Oops I Did it Again” Yeah I’ve got to be pretty desperate to quote from a Britney […]

Ground around like hamburger lying in a splat ‘Tis Irene’s machine I see, in pieces crumpled flat Her feet were in the bushes, her toes were in her hat Stark ravin’ all unshaven Motorcycle Irene – Moby Grape from ” Motorcycle Irene” On the back of a cartoon coaster In the blue TV screen light […]