Page 7 - Drunk Uncle News Today

Now all we got is nicki minaj. that girl has like 13 -- >> i think youre too drunk. >> its my money and i need it now! i woke myself up on that one. hey, seth? >> yeah. >> all right. guess what i got. >> my nose. >> guess what i got? >> you got my nose. >> no, i got your job. that was my impression of an immigrant. >> drunk uncle, everyone. many are calling for the nfl to end the leagues three-month lockout of referees after this past weekends games in which replacement refs marred the games w...

>> sure. >> ahhh. ahhh. thats all. >> thats not flattering. >> shes a dummy. >> drunk uncle, it does sound like you got to spend some time with your family. >> yeah, my nephews dead. >> what? >> not actually. hes just a jerk. he wants a iphone 5. more like i phone time warner and get someone from india. i know your name is not kevin. ♪ like a good neighbor state farm is there ♪ state farm was like my neighbor, hed steal my mail and yell at me in jewish. >> all right, drunk uncle. >> tweet tw...

You know? when i was a kid, it was illegal to drive a car without a tie on. and now its just are these peanuts free range? is my tray table done downloading? because my e-nook needs more leg room. your seat can be used as a flotation device. it can also be used as a seat. you want to know what my carry-on baggage is? korea. >> oh, okay. drunk uncle. >> everyone is walking around with blue teeth. all these girls in their bikinis showing off their instagrams all over. if i want to see your breasts...

>> sure. >> ahhh. ahhh. thats all. >> thats not flattering. >> she is a dummy. >> it does sound like you got to spend some time with your family. >> yeah, my nephews dead. hes just a jerk. he wants a iphone 5. more like i phone time warner and get someone from india. i know your name is not kevin. ♪ like a good neighbor state farm is there ♪ state farm was like my neighbor, hed steal my mail and yell at me in jewish. >> all right, drunk uncle. >> tweet tweet, tweet tweet,

Now all we got is nicki minaj. that girl has like 13 -- >> i think youre too drunk. >> its my money and i need it now! i woke myself up on that one. hey, seth? >> yeah. >> all right. guess what i got. >> my nose. >> guess what i got? >> you got my nose. >> no, i got your job. that was my impression of an immigrant. >> drunk uncle, everyone. many are calling for the nfl to end the leagues three-month lockout of referees after this past weekends games in which replacement refs marred the games w...

Tweet tweet. whatever. i wasnt voted most likely to succeed. so i wasnt like the captain of the yearbook. spaceman, spaceship. so im not a kfc fighter, okay? thats not me. theres a dark knight rising all right, seth. mexico. >> drunk uncle. >> four more beers, four more beers! like the political thing. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. good tie-in. >> you know what? why dont people croon any more, seth? >> croon? >> you know, what happened to all the crooners? you know, you used to have frank sinatra.

Schools out ♪ for summer ♪ but reverse it >> drunk uncle, how was your summer? >> more like how is your boner? >> come on, drunk uncle. whats there not to like about summer? >> kids today, they dont even have summer jobs any more. when i was a kid, i was pizza poor on a newspaper. now its im trending, im trending, im trending. lets get limpged in at the genius bar. youre not a genius. youre in a t-shirt. >> did you get to travel anywhere? >> people need to dress up when they fly, seth. what ...

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Latest updates on this topic.