Earth Lings News Today

today setting the mens and womens all time indoor speed record for duration as a prime minister only 44 days in office. thats not even five squa scaramuccis. her abrupt resignation throws her closest ally even further into chaos. not that our friends across the pond werent able to find humor in this, "the economy" magazine argued which would ask longer, liz truss prime minister or a head of lettuce. you know when folks start invoking salad items when discussing how long youre going to ...

information. >> not where you want that information. good morning, and welcome to "way too early." on this tuesday, august 23rd. lets start with the news. we begin with that reporting on what sparked the fbi search for classified materials at mar-a-lago two weeks ago. sources tell "the new york times" the government has recovered more than 300 documents marked as classified from donald trump so far. those documents returned in january included more than 150 classified documents. accord...

>> i really appreciate it. if aliens are looking back at us through that kozcosmic du theyre probably wondering what on earth is wrong with those carbon based life forms, why are they so hell bent on lying, cheating, at all costs. aliens, that is a good point, and that is something we earth lings, especially we here in the united states need to address. and we will do so next. . homegrown tomatoes...nice. i want to feel in control of my health, so i do what i can. what about screening for colo...

>> mark: look fabulous. got to get a trump resort. >> greg: a golf course. >> greg: emily, first thing you would do. >> emily: figure out if they are hostile or friendly. hostile get non-perishable food and hide in the basement and if they were friendly i would be all about it, guys, space, astronauts, i would love it. >> greg: jed? >> jedediah: depends on what they looked like. cute like a puppy or kitten. exactly ryan gosling. but if they were scary, i would run. >> greg: i think you know the ...

They need a host. and thats where we come in. occasionally, man buns land on earth to feed on nutrients, like vanity on earth lings to set a trend no matter how stupid they look. once a man bun finds a proper host it makes itself at home in cool places like brooklyn. if you find yourself victim of a thirsty man bun, the only cure is to look in the mirror and remember, 63% of women absolutely hate it. once this happens, the man bun will return to its home planet. this has been where does it come ...

Podcast at wegoted.com and ring of fire radio join the team. we are reporting here todays top trenders voted on by you. >> weve got to go. >> the number three trender, out of this world. >> this is extraordinary project by people with vision, imagination. >> after 2,000 years of work, the 36 explosive space modula r modulator. >> scientists want to put earth lings on mars by 2026. >> humans will land on mars. >> the number two trender, kissing -- >> beyonce. ♪ >> kid president gushes over his ...

Anything new. which would he is given this status who fancy themselves to be with chris hayes. before this episode i didnt know about this guy. i knew more 3w justin bieber. >> there is this idea we were sending signals into space that is old science and it is used in a million science fiction movies and aliens are aware of us and they fear us bough they think we are all like that. >> 30 seconds left. >> it was incorrect. "i love lucy" taught me a lot. it taught me how to make wine and work in a...

Four earth lings. the return flight doesnt exist. much like a weekend at lou daabs house, there is not much point of going there. >> you would still make jokes so i will yield to jesse. >> okay, yield to jesse. >> this is like a game show. >> i try to steal your joke. this is called pass. >> i need a lifeline. >> people just go around and never answer. >> can i call a friend because you stole my joke? >> want a [bleep] joke? >> that would be jesse joyces response. it is a reality show. do people...

The blind sheikh. before benghazi libya, were stand there, zawahiri were calling for the release of the blind sheik and attacks to our consulate and our administration pretends like they are our friends. we should mind our own business for once and stop metalling in a part of the world that will not. >> of course theyre going to be in that position. >> they dont like us. >> wipe them out -- >> they dont like us. >> im not saying they do. >> i suggest you dont tell -- you dont take the military -...

Heard them there, proves to be one of the only people on earth, earth lings, who says aircraft when hes talking about a plane hes been on. with todays republican candidate in mind lets bounce back to the 1951 sci-fi "the day the earth stood still" when an alien touches down on earth. heres a refresher. >> i came here to give you these facts, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this earth of yours will be reduced to a burned out cinder. >> i dont know about you, but i cant help but see m...