Page 3 - Eric Don News Today

Jane, who is five, if she did it and she said she didnt do it. Then there was only one suspect left, our son billy, who just turned three. This is his toy. He admitted he did it. He found a little piece of wallpaper in janes dollhouse and he pasted it on spideys face. So if you think your kids arent absorbing all of this thats going on, youre wrong. I do need to explain to billy that spidey is already wearing a mask. You dont put a mask on a mask. Its like wearing two condoms. Ill wait until hes...

And she did not. Then there was only one suspect left, our son billy, who just turned three. He did it he found little piece of wallpaper in janes dollhouse and pasted it on spideys face. So, if you think your kids arent absorbing all this, thats going on, youre wrong. I do need to explain to billy that spidey is already wearing a mask. You dont put a mask on a mask. Its like putting two condoms on. Ill wait on explaining that. In mexico city, someone came up with a fun way to keep riders on the...

In mexico city, someone came up with a fun way to keep riders on the train safe. Mexico city doesnt want its Public Health campaign to turn into a circus, so it hired professional clowns to spray the hands of metro riders with disinfectant and to tell them, wear a face mask, dont be a clown. Its great to see clowns on the subway, because if youre angry, they make you laugh. Jimmy and you wouldnt like him when hes angry. Between spiderman and the hulk, the avengers are really doing their part to ...

You ask me, israeli unnecessary. Matt goldich wrote a joke whose punch line is israeli unnecessary. Mothers day is this sunday. So now all i have to do is figure out when sunday is. Is today sunday . Hmm. Ceo of grocery chain kroger said yesterday that americans will have meat during the coronavirus pandemic so long as they are quote, flexible. Although isnt being flexible on meat what got us into this in the first place . So tomorrow is no socks day good, because im starting to feel creepy Walk...

And well be right back with more late night. Its digiorno. Definition of, you know, we now with more cheese. And live stream five or six more dipped our toes into social times that night commentary here and there but on seth i want to thank my the surface its so absurd and guest after President Trump retweeted if you are currently facing werfinancial burdens,w normal so silly and its a real escape Billy Eichner. A post yesterday calling for i want to thank amber ruffin call your state farm agent...

Questions like, why has no one responded to my birthday evite . [ light laughter ] real easy, you just click yes or no [ light laughter ] a 30foothigh portion of president trumps border wall blew over yesterday and fell into mexico. [ laughter ] man, thats how rough things are right now. Even trumps wall is leaving the country. [ laughter and applause the New York Times [ cheers and applause the New York Times launched a quiz today to match readers with the democratic president ial candidates ap...

The nominees for the 92nd annual Academy Awards were revealed. It was a big day for 1917. The year, not the movie. Though the movie too. [ laughter ] 19 of the 20 acting nominees are white people. No women were nominated for best director. Thats fewer minorities than in Donald Trumps cabinet. [ laughter ] the movie cats got shut out. So no cats were even nominated. Actually, universal, the studio that made cats, pulled the movie from oscar contention. Which is always funny. They probably didnt n...

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests dolly parton Kacey Musgraves, and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1160 steve and now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy hey, thats what im talking about. [ cheers and applause welcome, everybody, welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause thank you for being here thank you for watching what a special night it is our entire audience is made up of people Gordon Sondland ...

Look at you guys look at you guys very small sad. [ laughter ] here, hold my mangoagogo. Take my santa, hello is that you, mr. President . Of course, it is. Look, i dont have much time i ditched eric and don jr. At the disney store wont be long until they realize the thor beanbag chair i left them on isnt their real dad. [ laughter ] you came to the mall just to see santa . Thats right. Tomorrow is the big Impeachment Vote people are saying that all i can do is pray but why pray when i can come ...

Tom hiddleston Michael Eric Dyson musical guest noah cyrus featuring leon bridges and the legendary roots crew questlove 1163 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy please, have a seat. [ cheers and applause enjoy yourselves relax. Thank you very much. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Thank you for being here [ cheers and applause thank you for watching what a crowd you guys, thanksgiving is just a few days away. And i saw th...