4: But that part was fun. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 26, 2020
My dearest children: You are the reason I wake up every morning. The reason I breathe. And most importantly, the reason we can t have nice things. Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) May 25, 2020
I set my kids up with mugs of hot chocolate over a white carpet so I, too, like to live dangerously. Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) February 23, 2020
A heads up that if you re toddler comes into the room and says mommy nothing happened , something definitely fucking happened. Hopefully you re kids a self-snitch like mine and also immediately shows you what he broke amil (@amil) July 13, 2020
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week huffpost.com - get the latest breaking news, showbiz & celebrity photos, sport news & rumours, viral videos and top stories from huffpost.com Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday newspapers.
Having children changes everything ― mealtimes, holidays, romance and more. One particularly comical effect of parenthood is its impact on your exercise routine.
The funny parents of Twitter seem to think so anyway. They’ve shared some hilarious musings about working out after kids, from child-induced cardio to cleaning up toys as strength training.
We’ve rounded up 40 tweets that sum up fitness for parents. Enjoy!
My daily workout is walking through the house 14 times a day turning off all the lights my kids have left on in every room. Goddess Of Mischief™ BLM (@AsgardianRose) June 11, 2015
My favorite form of cardio is wrestling pajamas onto damp children That Mom Tho (@mom tho) April 23, 2020
7-year-old: I don t want mashed potatoes.
Me: They re just like French fries.
7: Then give me French fries.
There s a flaw in her logic, but I can t find it. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2020
My 8yo woke up this morning and said “Artichokes are rude!”, and honestly he is probably right. Katie Didn t (@Pork Chop Hair) January 16, 2020
Me: “If you’re done with the game, you need to put the pieces away.”
4yo: I WAS done, but if I have to clean it then I’m undone.”
Me too. Stephanie Ortiz (@Six Pack Mom) October 5, 2017
Me: Have a good day at school.
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Parents tell their fair share of white lies, but kids have a special flair for stretching the truth.
From implausible excuses for messes to fully fabricated stories, the creativity of children’s lies is often impressive. That’s the impression we get from the hilarious parents of Twitter anyway.
We’ve rounded up 25 funny tweets about the lies kids tell. Enjoy!
My 8yo just tried to convince me that there s sugar all over his mouth because he tripped and landed on a donut. JennyPentland GED (@JennyPentland) April 16, 2014
Me: What happened to Ken?
I just caught my son lying to me. I made him promise to never lie to me ever again. He swore that he wouldn t. I m pretty sure that s a lie. Adam Mordecai (@advodude) January 21, 2014