I was an outsider at Christmas 'til 'The Nutcracker' – The Forward
Until I discovered “The Nutcracker,” December was the season of fruitlessly trying to explain Hanukkah to my mostly non-Jewish friends. I never wished to be anything but Jewish, but I secretly longed to experience the kind of Christmas cheer I read about in books. I wanted a big family gathering, with a tree and mistletoe and everyone in their best outfits, and the sense of being part of some great joyful event happening to the whole country at once. I didn’t want to feel like an outsider...
Source: forward.com