Page 15 - Funny Stuff News Today

Throughout the years, the Lone Star State has rolled out some really, really dumb laws.

And im thinking, theres a 50% approval rate there. >> theres a lot of funny stuff but, yeah, they admit 50% of their kids. so why would you stroke a check for several hundred thousand dollars to get into a school that half the kids, literally, can get into. neil: right. >> i dont understand. its all about status. so apparently, that school carries enough of a status for people to want to help their kids get n. neil: but what did this singer do and say? how would he get parents -- and when he tal...

Best candidate in helping to turn the country around and helping to defeat trump thats where we are right now. >> so you are running? >> ha ha ha ha ha. steve: funny stuff. here with reaction is the founder of the loftus party michael loftus joins us from the west coast. you are a professional comedian. why do professional politicians go on the funny show to declare they are runny for president. >> they know that stephen colbert and the rest of late night is putting the pro-back in propaganda. i...

Collusion between president trumps election campaign and russia. >> president trump: i called it a witch hunt, and it is a witch hunt. but we have a lot of funny stuff like the russian witch hunt garbage. how long has this going on? >> democrat-controlled committees in the house will almost certainly begin their own investigations while special counsel robert mueller seemed close to wrapping up his, having already indicted several of the presidents associates with campaign chairman paul manafort...

20 and 40 range, top 20 fruit or vegetable. >> i think i am big on tomato. others try to define it, youre a fruit but in the vegetable aisle. tomato is dont label me. i am delicious in every kind of sandwich. >> he is on the spectrum, he doesnt care. >> on this show we havent covered it enough, fruit normative culture. >> it is all over campuses. >> yeah, out of control. >> anyone watching the tv on mo mute will not know. those are the fall backs. i want to dig in to your show. you do a lot of f...

Whats better if you or your republican party paul ryan stays or if he goes a little bit earlier? >> there are two options. are you a shakespeare fan? >> martha: yes, i am. >> mcbeth, act i, scene seven. out now. there are two advantages to that. you have clarity and you get it quicker. and faster. and theres less funny stuff. the longer this goes on, the more this group will pop up and say if we support you, we have to have this in another group that says if you give them that, we get this. ther...

People can hardly watch sketches after weekend update. pete: funny stuff, but even then it might touch. kellyanne conway -- >> theres a difference difference in how they make fun of democrats. >> super creepy he was married and that the sketch indicates this very beautiful woman and talked about it on the house floor later on on the senate floor. this is super creepy. they could have been harder on them. pete: the senate non-ethics committee will take care of it. >> interesting "saturday night l...

Dies and avocado sandwiches. getting high. thats easy to mock. i always did. i always will. thats not the profile of the person throwing rocks through windows at berkeley or shutting down conserving speakers. these people arent liberals. they are north going to be moved by yoga or sponge sword fights, they are absolutely authoritarian. they are committed to violence. they want to crush you by force and drive you out of the public square. these are not kind of smelly furry peaceful liberals that ...

>> hillary clinton today said she is very aware of the short falls of her campaign that caused her to lose the election. specifically short falls michigan and short falls wisconsin. [laughter] steve: funny stuff. meanwhile, lawmakers on both sides of the aisle are claiming victory on the upcoming government spending bill vote. but did democrats have another plan? >> they wanted a shutdown. we know that. they were desperate to make this administration look like we couldnt function like we couldnt...

Arent they supposed to be preparing for the real world. 64-year-old air force veteran beat out over 1200 nominees nationwide for that title. look at him. the new town pennsylvania man receiving the news to the cheers of hundreds of students. >> what a surprise. im so overwhelmed. and i just cant believe that had t. happened. >> he does all this stuff. and he does it with a smile on his face. abby: believe it or not, he knows the names of all 850 students. obviously so well deserved. how great is...