Page 5 - Google Greg News Today

Thing. i mean no one else is going to do it with you because youre weird as hell. >> its hard to pick a fight with a death metal fan. try to insult me. greg: you look like youre dead. >> i cant hear you. my ears are broken. greg: you know whats interesting? so it makes me think about all of the metal heads that we were warned about in the 1980s, its been 30, 40 years and theyve all become well-adjusted people. if you dont believe me, i have before and afters. these were people in metal bands in ...

Croutons cheese and ranch dressing to be a salad. greg: i worked in fitness for tense years. im that person. >> really? greg: its hard to believe. i had low body fat. it ruled my life. i was miserable. i was ripped but miserable. when i decided to get out of te gym i was much happier and fatter. >> i think we need to see pictures to prove this. >> its legit. greg: google greg and abs. anyway, get your tickets now for the gutfeld monologues live. next show april 6th d.c., may oklahoma and texas. ...

Focus group. trump can infuriate you or entertain you but hes more real than all of them combined. remember when he said this? >> you do love your dogs, dont you? i wouldnt mind having one honestly but i dont have any time. how would i look walking a dog on the white house lawn. feels a little phony to me. greg: he says this knowing that america loves their dogs more than their own kids. and yet, he didnt get an f. more important, remember when he said this too? >> in 2016 everything red is isis...

Focus group. trump can infuriate you or entertain you but hes more real than all of them combined. remember when he said this? >> you do love your dogs, dont you? i wouldnt mind having one honestly but i dont have any time. how would i look walking a dog on the white house lawn. feels a little phony to me. greg: he says this knowing that america loves their dogs more than their own kids. and yet, he didnt get an f. more important, remember when he said this too? >> in 2016 everything red is isis...

Serial killer crack smoking lady with three kids from three different fathers with a passion for childrens choreography and my paren apartment would be litd with dead bodies and children and it just isnt, greg. not to brag. people overblow it. and if you do something messed up and blame it on media, you probably were messed up to pe again with. greg: morgan? agree? dits agree? >disagree?>> i agree but why dik like a white walker. >> thats the issue you had with that? greg: he had quite the voice...

I remember in college when we had guests coming, even if we wanted a picture we couldnt get close to them. if i didnt like it, i didnt go. if you want to protest somethin- [cheers and applause] >> the video of the guy getting beat up at berkeley, the guy getting punched in the face and stuff like that, the fact that that even -- it never should have got that far. greg: its crazy. the left used to lead the speech movement now theyre leading against it. this is a brilliant move by trump. if you co...

Conspiracy instead of improving the country. instead of an idea, their message is hey, everyone, were almost human. a candidate suddenly announces hes in love with a movie star, another tries to drink a beer. and heres one working out. yeah, thats not how you work out, lady. do i have to show you my workout? ♪ ♪ >> come on, this is not enough weight. greg: no it isnt, my friend. the more sincere the candidates act the more phony they act. theyve replaced a pulse with a

Im sorry. now youre not that bad. youre just skinny and you have no muscles. >> youre not that fat. thats a compliment coming from greg. >> you look kind of like beto. greg: no! >> empathying beto i everyone es good-looking. greg: thats established by the media who are very homely. i work in media. i can say that. morgan, was this a cop out? >> if you want like your wife of your girlfriend or someone to go to the gym, buy them new cute workout clothes. this is how my husband gets me into sports....

Internet, i would be like what in the hell are you doing. but also, if i had a husband, it sounds so weird to even say. if i had a husband and his boss was saying mean things about me, like that i was the wife from hell and he was just like -- i would not care for that either. whether i would or would not be the wife from hell would be irrelevant in that case, because he is kind of the husband from hell. you just make fun of the boss behind his back like a normal person. greg: exactly. tyrus? [a...

Croutons cheese and ranch dressing to be a salad. greg: i worked in fitness for tense years. im that person. >> really? greg: its hard to believe. i had low body fat. it ruled my life. i was miserable. i was ripped but miserable. when i decided to get out of te gym i was much happier and fatter. >> i think we need to see pictures to prove this. >> its legit. greg: google greg and abs. anyway, get your tickets now for the gutfeld monologues live. next show april 6th d.c., may oklahoma and texas. ...