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The likes of which he will be telling tonight. what is that process like if >> its a pretty fun process. we relied on a lot of outside help, so we would get submissions from professional comedians, folks at "the daily show," folks at "the colbert report." folks from "saturday light live." we also had -- david axelrod is very funny, so we would try to get as many jokes as possible and start narrowing them down over the course of a month and then present them to the president and see which ones ar...

So lets pick on politico for a while. you know, people attack politico for putting the new focus on trivial issues, political fodder, gossip sheet. thats not fair. politicos been doing this for centuries now. just check out these headlines our researchers found. japan surrenders, wheres the bounce? [ laughter ] then theres this one. lincoln saves union, but can he save house majority. [ laughter ] i dont know if you can see that theres a little portion there, hes lost the southern whole vote. [ ...

>> shes like ill be married at age 94. >> oh. no, she wont. >> aw. >> weve got another story. you remember the police officer in dover, delaware who did that bake "shake it off" lip-sync? he was just incredible. remember this one? >> yeah. >> well, he tag-teamed with his partner demetrius stevenson. theyve got a new number for you. ♪ >> look at that. okay. ♪ turn down for what ♪ >> turn down for what. how about we turn down for the polka? ♪ one, two, three, four ♪ >> from subculture ar...

Hes a two-time world pro brazilian ju sit champion. this has been viewed 370,000 times on facebook. darling, you will never get a date. >> poor girl. look at her face. >> shes like ill be married at age 94. >> oh. no, she wont. >> aw. >> weve got another story. you remember the police officer in dover, delaware who did that bake "shake it off" lip-sync? he was just incredible. remember this one? >> yeah. >> well, he tag-teamed with his partner demetrius stevenson. theyve got a new number for you...

He was touched out and reached out for lexia to come see him at his first home game in seattle. all is not lost young lady. >> really good to do that. all is not lost. good she is learning disappointment early in life. there is more coming. one other thing. >> half yard line. look at this video. >> behind the back alley-oop. this video making the round. the kid is a top, 30 recruit out of high school. impressive pass. we have the polka. >> lets do this thing! ♪ politics and foreign wars all th...

12,000 joints apparently for the super bowl theres a company out there solstice that has a -- the 12 pack. you know about the 12th man. it is based on the 12th man being their 11 football players on the field. the 12th man from the seahawks is the fans. >> look at you. >> so they are rolling all of these joints so everyone can smoke them but you have to have a medicinal thing. i wonder if tom brady would qualify. wasnt he sick? >> you say he needs weed to play? >> no, polka. ♪ politics and for...

12,000 joints apparently for the super bowl theres a company out there solstice that has a -- the 12 pack. you know about the 12th man. it is based on the 12th man being their 11 football players on the field. the 12th man from the seahawks -- >> look at you. >> so they are rolling all of these joints so everyone can smoke them but you have to have a medicinal thing. i wonder if tom brady would qualify. wasnt he sick? >> you say he needs weed to play. >> no, polka. ♪ politics and foreign wars,...

Part of the movie. ♪ let it go let it go ♪ >> i dont know what i enjoy more, the fact they actually know the lyrics, the fact they are singing off key. or their spirit fingers. its all wonderful. >> thats awesome. >> polka time. >> lets do this thing. ♪ politics and foreign wars all the weather all the scores ♪ ♪ thats the world news polka >> by george, i think hes got it. ♪ around the world and up your street the skinny is our gossip sheet ♪ thats the world news polka ♪ its late...

He thanks calisthenics and didnt start to exercise until the age of 56 but look at grandpa now. gives us all hope. never too late to get in shane. >> thats amazing. the next video not quite as amazing. maybe. >> at all. >> this astronaut testing the theory that you can push yourself in a weightless environment off by a single strand of hair. >> thats awesome. >> riveting. we are riveted. polka time. ♪ ♪ politics and foreign wars the weather all the scores ♪ ♪ thats the world news polka...

He is ripped. he thanks calisthenics and didnt start to exercise until the age of 56 but look at grandpa now. gives us all hope. never too late to get in shane. >> thats amazing. the next video not quite as amazing. maybe. >> at all. >> this astronaut testing the theory that you can push yourself in a weightless environment off by a single strand of hair. >> thats awesome. >> riveting. we are riveted. polka time. ♪ ♪ politics and foreign wars the weather all the scores ♪ ♪ thats the wo...