Greg Kat News Today

[applause] [applause] greg: put your pants back on. Happy monday, everyone. Over the weekend donald trump held a rally in butler, pennsylvania. The site of the first assassination attempt. He spoke from behind a shield made of patent plexiglass, the same material they used to build nancy pelosi. Not to be outdone, kamala harris will join the view where the secret service will have harpoon guns in case the cast gets hungry. You are booing? get him out of here. On tuesday kamala harris will be i...

[applause] greg: yes! yes! i know. Awesome, thank you. In all honesty this success is getting kind of boring. [laughter] happy monday, everyone. This friday joker number 2 arrives in theatres and it is about a mentally ill man who terrorizes society with his mentally unstable female sidekick. But most if you have already seen it. You saw that one coming. Had the crowds like here we go. Earlier today president biden delivered remarks on the devastation caused by hurricane helene. He comforted vic...

[applause] greg: all right! now it is just me and you. Happy thursday, everyone. By now you probably saw our great interview with donald trump. Amazing, right? [applause] after the show i felt like a hezbollah fighter, my phone was blowing up. [laughter] it is true, in lebanon thousands of pagers and phones exploded killing dozens of terrorists. We reached out to hezbollah leaders, but they have not returned our calls. President trump was a huge hit on the show last night, my favourite part wa...

[ ] greg: you will be a mind tonight. Happy monday, everyone. Democrat support are identified as ryan routh was arrested for trying to assassinate donald trump on a golf course. Whatever happened to asking if you can play through? it seems the wouldbe assassin was able to get just a few hundred yards away from trump. Apparently the shooter found the only golf course with a slanted sand trap. Too soon. As you know this is the second time trump has survived multiple shots, according to an expert ...

[applause] [applause] greg: yes! yes. It appears there is no debate around my sex appeal. Happy wednesday, everyone. People are accusing last nights debate moderator of teaming up against trump while letting kamala slide. He was under so much attack you would thank the moderators were working from a slanted roof. It felt like an ambush with kamala and the moderators jumping on trump. I have not seen a three on one so disturbing since i was at the golden girls after party. I just watched. Out is ...

[ Cheering And Applause ] Greg Yes all right. Okay. [ Cheering And Applause ]. Greg i guess that will do laughter . Greg it is friday, so you know what that means, lets welcome tonights guest, he is so bland, he is getting sued by rice cakes. Cohost of fox and friends, tyro he is a lawyer named trustie, like a cop named friskie. Former trump attorney, and doj prosecutor. If you bont buy her new book, she will have to learn how to cook, a Fox News contributor, kat. He is stronger than gravity, an...

[ cheering and applause ] greg: yes! all right. Okay. [ cheering and applause ]. Greg: i guess that will do! (laughter). Greg: it is friday, so you know what that means, lets welcome tonights guest, he is so bland, he is getting sued by rice cakes. Cohost of fox and friends, tyro! he is a lawyer named trustie, like a cop named friskie. Former trump attorney, and doj prosecutor. If you bont buy her new book, she will have to learn how to cook, a fox news contributor, kat. He is stronger than grav...

Greg i know. Its going to beat your humpday tonight. Happy wednesday everyone. A Kamala Harris will give first major interview on thursday, not without bringing her running mate tim walz. Re get it as a former Football Coach Walz will not want to take her out at the first sign of traumatic brain injury. Plus walz will be there in case she needs to use a Ladies Room and she will be there in case he also need to use the Ladies Room. Meanwhile according to report Kamalas Team allow that sheet be al...

what im talking about. i cced all of you including you people watching me on a tv at best buy. were all meeting after the elections down by the city dump, you know, where kilmeade gets his furniture. by the way brian said we could use his old heir pieceses for the molotov cocktails. those things are more flammable than baby pajamas. but why not embrace what the democrats predict? the end of democracy, which begins with voting. the fundamental element to democracy. its like saying pizza...

You? >> kat: sure. so the democrats by saying vote for me or it will be the end of democracy, they are setting the stakes really high but theyre also setting the bar for themselves really low. that way, in 2024, lets say they do okay in the midterms. they get to say to voters that they did such a good job and everything they said they were going to do, just because theres still such a thing as a voter. right? even if they dont do well theyre like oh, its because theres a democratic president tha...