Hanging Chris News Today

[cheers and applause] thank you, thank you for receiving us with open arms. even if they are covered with black sabbath tattoos and number 77 sunscreen. lets cover some news before we go to the monologue. an american who was trapped in ukraine for eight months says he evaded russian troops by prevpretending to be irish. in other words, he was drunk. comedian gallagher sadly has passed away at age 76. his family scheduled a private ceremony. followed by smashing him with a giant hammer....

Everything you need? >> you didnt need any of that! >> i didnt need a grinch sweater that wasnt going to fit. >> where my going to hang these lights? >> i blame "friends," the chauffeur hanging chris was light indoors. was at the first show to do that? >> i deafly know my history in n the area. >> we will say yes. >> we have to move on. >> you just dropped out of the top five. >> nicely done. coming up, airplanes, dont worry. aliens arent in a hurry. and it only takes eight minutes to qualify. i...