Human Penis News Today

OLATHE, KS—Assuaging a client’s concerns about a potential problem with their heating and cooling system, local HVAC technician Frank Legrand confirmed Thursday that the random clanking noise the homeowner was hearing at night was merely the normal sound of a pervert’s erection hitting an air duct. “In an old house…

TALLAHASSEE, FL—With its legislature passing a resolution that cited the rich and significant history of the reproductive organ, Florida named the penis its official state genital on Wednesday. “It fills me with great pleasure to sign this legislation recognizing the profound influence of the human penis on the…

The unnamed priest, who was reportedly rushed to hospital, is suspected to have chopped off his own penis after suffering a tick bite. He was driven psychotic by the bite, doctors assume.

A Philly-based family physician is here to set the record straight.

PUEBLO, CO—With the body it was attached to measuring well below average, a local penis was reportedly feeling self-conscious Wednesday about how small his man was. “I know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but I have a lot of insecurity about the size of my man,” said the set of genitals, adding that it couldn’t count on…

Urologists took ultrasounds of hundreds of penises to come up with a scientific definition of the phenomenon.