Like your eyes were sewn on. [ light laughter ]sese street up [ laughter ] during todays hearing, congressman jim jordan accused National Security expert Alexander Vindman of leaking information and displaying poor judgment on the job. He displayed poor judgment this is an impeachment hearing, and youre dressed like youre here to fix the copier [ light laughter ] video has surfaced from this weekend showing President Trump, heading to his unscheduled hospital visit, appearing to hold a Yellow Folder with an unknown device attached to his sleeve and im not going to speculate about the hospital visit, but its just a bad sign that we have to talk about this president like hes big foot i seen him once, broad daylight he had a he had a folder or something. S atight you can hear him howling. The white house issued a new statement late last night about President Trumps unscheduled hospital visit apparently, turns out, he wa officials in south dakota are facing criticism after rolling out a ne
Alan cumming comedian, Jessica Kirson and feuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1161 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much, everybody. [ cheers and applause hi hello. He. [ cheers and applause thank you so much for watching thank you for being here well last night was the fifth democratic president ial debate because after a full week of impeachment hearings, what better way to relax than watching 10 democrats yell at each other [ laughter ] its been nonstop politics all week seriously, i think im watching way too much news. Last night, i listened to Rachel Maddow talk for an hour, then i realized my tv wasnt even on. [ laughter ] on last nights debate, Pete Buttigieg did very well yeah yeah, he tried to separate himself from the field by claiming that he was the least wealthy person on stage. [ light laughter ] then he added, but that could change after my parents give me my allowance. [ laughter ] thatd be n
Lot of his supporters well, guesswhat . Yesterday tweety gonlez out hisrange thumbs andheidt ag. This time he attacked a woman who works for mike pence currently. Her name is jennifer williams. Shes a special adviser to the Vice President. She was also listening in on trumps now infamous call with the president of ukraine. There were more people on this call than there were at his inauguration. [ laughter ] so in her closed door testimony williams says trump specifically mentioned the name of the Ukrainian Company hunter biden worked for. Its called burisma. But that was omitted from the transcript the white house released. You know the one the president keeps telling us to read. Well, turns out maybe that transcript has been sanitized for his protection. Trump of course as soon as he heard this went right on the attack. He called this woman who works, again, for his Vice President , a never trumper. [ laughter ] its like calling the hamburglar a vegetarian. Its ridiculous. She is sche
Leonard klinerock at ucla and his graduate student wanted to send a transmission from a computer at ucla to a computer at stanford to something called arpa net. It took a computer the size of a room to tell you which golden girl you are. So the actual message they sent was interesting. They wrote, lo. And then the system crashed. The full message he was trying to send was supposed to be look at this picture of my penis. We made that up . They actually were trying to send the word login. But now our president is using that very technology on a daily basis, with [cheers and applause] to tweet gems like this. Today he tweeted nervous nancy pelosi is doing Everything Possible to destroy the republican party. Our polls show that its going to be just the oppodite. Is that the new eddie murphy movie oppodite . Even with all the madness, the president and first lady were handing out candy. What kind of music do you play when you have a bunch of little kids coming over . Jimmy thats right, mich
Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Reese Witherspoon, rhett and link chef daniel humm and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1146 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh my goodness, thats what im talking about. Hello. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause youre here, you made it the show to be at. Thank you for being here you guys, the one and only Reese Witherspoon is my guest tonight. [ cheers ] her new apple tv show comes out on friday. Between that and halloween, its a huge week for reeses steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy thats right, halloween is just two days away, and nasa says the Hubble Telescope spotted a pair of galaxies that look like a spooky face. Take a look at this. You see that [ laughter ] theyve already come up with a a name for the formation, rudy giuliani. [ laughter and applause well, halloween is almost here and people everywhere are getting ready hey jimm