Page 13 - John Olver News Today

ive got a few things id like to yell about now, so we can all start. >> my eyes! my eyes! >> you opened the casket! >> july 16th, 2012, from comedy centrals world news head quarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) hey, everybody, welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. were back, baby, two weeks. our guest tonight, the great louis c.k. will be join...

he just said... "wheres stan?" and so, we will all miss kenny -- his playful laughter, his innocent smile. but we will never forget that it was because of brave kenny that stem cell research was allowed to continue. i let kenny down. im his worst f-f-friend. you guys! come quick! what, cartman? its -- why, its a miracle, you guys! what, cartman? whats happened? look. i put the stem cells from all the fetuses i had next to shakeys, and they are replicating a new shakeys! it worked! this...

- hes losin it! stevens, your gun! - no! wait! wait. - ugh. i--im okay. - hes all right! - the banana worked! - come on, dude. - im thinking about it! - well, its probably b-b-better if you dont think about it, kyle. - theres no more time-a! you have to drink the pee now! - agh, ahghgh! - come on, you have to drink all-a the pee! - you can do it, kyle! - ahghg! ahghghggh! - all right-a! now you can open the release-a valve. okay, so lets-a-- [helicopter blades thrumming] - hey, look! -...

from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: say, hell woman to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. great show, peter bergen, author of the new book manhunt. i know bhau are thinking, are you just saying that so you can say abbottabad, i know. im sure it will be an interesting conversation. lev laugh. >> jon: as yo...

>> jon: as you know osama bin laden has been all over the news this being the onier an verse ar of his passing. >> good morning, we are getting a brand-new look into the mind of osama bin laden. parts of bin ladens personal letters nabbed from his compound in pakistan by navy seals have just been released. >> jon: whooo! personal letters. of bin laden. dear wife number 7. (laughter) >> jon: how is son number 19? i miss you. tell me what you are wearing? over your face. laugh laugh come...

laden was killed by navy seals. >> jon: 15,000, the guy wasnt a terrorist, he was a hoarder, oh my god. we didnt even have to kim this guy. it was just a matter of time until we learned he died alone surround by 29 cats. two decades worth of jc penney catalogs. all right, so what did we get, what nefarious schemes did the terrorist master mind have up his sleeve. >> what it shows again is that when bill laden was still intent on attacking american targets, he even asked to come for his...

( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: say, hell woman to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. great show, peter bergen, author of the new book manhunt. i know bhau are thinking, are you just saying that so you can say abbottabad, i know. im sure it will be an interesting conversation. lev laugh. >> jon: as you know osama bin laden has been all over the news this being the onier an verse ar of his passing. >> good morning, we are getting a brand-new look into the min...

the news this being the onier an verse ar of his passing. >> good morning, we are getting a brand-new look into the mind of osama bin laden. parts of bin ladens personal letters nabbed from his compound in pakistan by navy seals have just been released. >> jon: whooo! personal letters. of bin laden. dear wife number 7. (laughter) >> jon: how is son number 19? i miss you. tell me what you are wearing? over your face. laugh laugh come on, the guy was run one of the worlds most feerdz ter...

>> jon: say, hell woman to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. great show, peter bergen, author of the new book manhunt. i know bhau are thinking, are you just saying that so you can say abbottabad, i know. im sure it will be an interesting conversation. lev laugh. >> jon: as you know osama bin laden has been all over the news this being the onier an verse ar of his passing. >> good morning, we are getting a brand-new look into the mind of osama bin laden. parts of bin ladens perso...

actually we dont have a guest tonight because we do have a blockbuster two-part investigation by our own john olver that you do not want to miss. if for no other reason at the end of his expose he we are giving away a van. chaers plaus that does not long to us. (laughter) so the winner will receive a stolen van. (laughter) i have 20 minutes to steal a van. (laughter) all right, no van. but first, i am sick of the elections. i want to start with a story of international intrigue. >> syr...