John Stocil News Today

>> it is suddenly offensive. i want a man to look like a giant terrier. i want fur brimming from every luscious curve. they are the people who worry they only like anorexics. i present kate upton and john stocil. >> i wonder why he would say john stocil. >> they are very lucky. >> jaime, you would think brazil would embrace body shaving, and i dont know why i even ask that. >> it is obviously another interest group. people like to complain so they found another thing to complain about. it will k...

>> you have to wear surgical gloves. what was the movie the science of sleep? huge hands like this or john stocil-like pawns. when you have to go through that kind of training so you think someone is not going to kill you, the russians even, the dumb russians were smart enough to get the message after 10 years. it is not working out for you. the best way to protect yourself is not to learn some kind of vodoo customs or what you would imagine the customs would be. it is to get yourself out of the...

Jesse joyce. it is called pro joyce. and, that is enough about him, he loves to vent about the 1%. tabooed to see you, pinch. good to see you, pinch. >> tyler kepner stars don madingly who is happy being a dodger. as for his exmustache, dejected. he is alone and hoping john stocil splits and his former mustache will start dating again. greg? >> thank you. >> they are flipping through mags as the terror trial lags. on saturday the hearing for the self-proclaimed master find evolved into a holy me...

He gives paper john stocil cuts instead of the other way around. he is the host of "john stocil." his latest book is called "no they cant" and it is his thoughts on women voting. no, i kid. it is about how government screws up everything. you have to read the book. it is good. we will talk about it later. and the front page never fails to enrage. good to see you, pinch. >> a "times" reporter says a century after the sinking of the titanic they find ocean tides and ocean mirages may explain the d...

And then i feel like i have done something. all i am trying to say is my great grandmother was tied to the railroad tracks and kidnapped by a man with the exact same muss -- mustache as mr. stocil, and do you see me writing letters to fox news to try to get an apology, no. i deal with it. >> great coming from a man dressed like a vet. >> i appreciate that coming from a guy who looks like a pedophile violin teacher. >> diane, good to see you. there are a couple of cuban american groups calling fo...

Even an evil, evil man can wear adult sweatshirts. john, you said ozzy guillen, he said a lot of crazy things, but if he helps the marlins win, okay. just should point out, he just helped them win all of two games. >> they are 22-1 to win the world series. >> thats not bad, actually. diane, you said people should be able to give a controversial opinion about having to ruer reabout sh -- worry about losing their job. they should give a controversial opinion without going to jail. >> thats by law,...

We will see you back here at 5:00 eastern on" the five." coming up, john stocil, diane macedo and jesse joyce. >> time to go back to andy levy with the post game wrap up. >> do you have some bubba fever? >> yes, i watch hours and hours at the masters. it was loads of fun. bubba is good for the game, have i to tell you. having an american win and do really well. she a new face and a fresh face and it makes you forget tiger. >> racist. >> wow. >> somebody is -- wow. >> i like golf too, but not for...

Welcome back. lets see if we got anything wrong so far. we go to andy levy. hi, andy. >> before we get going on tonights stuff i want to talk about something you said i think it was thursday night on john stocils show. he couldnt figure out why you didnt want him to call uh comedian. >> i have too much respect for comedians. comedians stand up in front of people and they endure slings and arrows from drunks. i have the comfort of being in studio. basically i am safe. i would never tell a joke if...

Real quick. we had a fun little insurance department here. >> what was that? >> during the commercial break john stocil came in to agree with tucker about his comments. i thought it was interesting. >> i was sitting here minding my own. >> the study says -- also your stories were really boring. the study says low thoughts and conservative. being loaded prevents you from giving pieties. i exchanged e mails with the lead author of the study who was quite helpful, by the way. i asked if he thought ...

>> what was that? >> during the commercial break john stocil came in to agree with tucker about his comments. i thought it was interesting. >> i was sitting here minding my own. >> the study says -- also your stories were really boring. the study says low thoughts and conservative. being loaded prevents you from giving pieties. i exchanged e mails with the lead author of the study who was quite helpful, by the way. i asked if he thought it was possible what low efforts thought was honesty. he sa...