Mark Illsley News Today

There is a moment early in "Happy, Texas" when an escaped convict looks at a roomful of 5-year-old beauty pageant contestants and asks them if they know the words to "Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall." They stare at him with curiosity. After all, he is the out-of-town pageant consultant, hired to prepare them for the Little Miss Fresh-Squeezed Pre-Teen Beauty Pageant.