Markd Crantz News Today

Pools are the topic of the day. The Indy poll shows 75% want a community pool. While 25% can’t swim a stroke.

I watched from my monastery window as Laguna Beach was hit with the Pineapple Express. It was raining cats and dogs as an Animal Control Officer tried to stop residents from throwing their dogs high in the air in an attempt to avoid those off-leash citations. (No animals were hurt during the writing of this column.)

Hello readers. It’s me, the Pet Peeves guy. Don’t get upset. I’m not back for good, just back for a visit. I’m still at the monastery, where I retired from complaining and took the vow of silence. It’s been two years now, and I’ve earned the right to say four words aloud. Here goes, “What the h_ _ _ Laguna?” Now we wait two more years for my four-word answer. Really? Forget waiting. Thanks to the Main Street carrier pigeons, I’m sending my answer column in with mucho words.