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He left, i walked him out to the car and helped him carry stuff, gave him a hug, rick hugged him before he left. >> no sense of conflict. >> when i got his phone back -- he was tired -- but when we got his phone back from the police. i checked. at 9:45 p.m. he was texting for the girl he was going to have a date with so he was excited. nine minutes later he texted me and said, i feel like its all spiraling out of control and im going to -- im going to take my life, in nine minutes, he went -- >>...

In the end you believe he was correctly diagnosed eventually with something called -- >> borderline personality disorder? >> what is that? >> borderline personality disorder is a pervasive attachment, if you will, to mood swings, suicide ideation. its a dysregulation of emotions. theres usually a lot of difficulty in interpersonal relationships. many times people who cut or burn themselves also have borderline personality. its pervasive, meaning its just really hard to deal with, but there is ho...

Nothing can take that from my life. i know god is a loving god. the question is, its like my children. my children have never doubted that i love them but they sometimes doubt my wisdom and they dont think ive made the right decision. not everything that happens in the world is gods will. everything that happens in the world, god allows, he permits. but because it couldnt happen without his permission. but we live in a world where there are free choices. if i choose to do wrong, i cant blame god...

Very strict and they worked. he couldnt get a gun legally. >> had he tried to do it legally? >> yeah. >> for a long time. >> he had tried- >> were grateful the law has kept matthew from getting a gun as long as it did. >> but he kept trying. >> he wanted one as far as youre aware, for one purpose. >> only one purpose. >> to take his life. >> it would end it for him and he was so determined -- >> when did he finally get this gun? >> a month before he took his life. >> do you know how he got it? w...

Excruciating emotional and physical pain. he just wanted the pain to stop. >> matthew was not afraid to die. he was afraid of pain. i remember 10 years ago, when he was 17, he came to me, sobbing and he said, daddy, he said, its really clear, im not growing to get any better. wed gone to the best doctors, hospitals, best treatments, therapists, prayer, everything you could imagine, good support and he says, its real clear im not going to get any better so why cant i just die? i know im going to ...

The next hour trying to talk him off that ledge, talk him into it. i knew it was very desperate. i knew he had a gun. i knew that there was -- that he had the lethal means. >> had the means now. >> not only was he impulsively he was in despair i knew he could do something about it. >> how did you know he had the gun? >> he told me. >> he told us. >> he told us everything? >> i will come to that. he bought the gun online illegally. >> he did. >> but you knew you had a suicide allison with a gun. ...

You mentioned earlier that matthew had a gun. >> he didnt get it legally. thats for sure. the gun laws in california are strict. they worked. he couldnt get a gun legally. >> had he tried to do it legally? >> oh, yeah, for a long time. we are grateful the laws kept matthew from getting a gun for as long as it did. >> he kept trying. >> he wanted to for one purpose? >> only one purpose. because he knew it would end it for him and he was just so determined. >> when did he finally get this gun? >> ...

>> pathor warren is back with me now along with his wife kay. you mentioned earlier that matthew had a gun. >> he didnt get it legally. thats for sure. the gun laws in california are strict. they worked. he couldnt get a gun legally. >> had he tried to do it legally? >> oh, yeah, for a long time. we are grateful the laws kept matthew from getting a gun for as long as it did. >> he kept trying. >> he wanted to for one purpose? >> only one purpose. because he knew it would end it for him and he wa...

Disclosed to the state. then it never can be used. so the filter is, they have to give me everything. theres a bunch of information theyve given me about george zimmerman that i presume they know is never getting into a courtroom and theres a bunch of stuff about trayvon martin that i presume is never getting into a courtroom. but if we dont put out that first round of information, we can never use the more filtered round of what is out there. if i wasnt to tell the state, this is stuff that we ...

I was there or not, my wife actually told me everything. >> what did she say was the reason she -- why did she say she got put in a box? >> well, its hard to say because this is a lot of years ago. we are talking about early 80s. this is the beginning of everything. and i think this is the games he used to play around with the kids and his wife. to him he thought it was a joke, but to other people it seemed like he was abusing them because the things he did seemed like people were getting hurt f...