Nauseating Award News Today

Hollywood, nauseating award shows on their pompous actors who are famous only because they pretend to be heroes on the big screen. tonight, we honor the real heroes. [cheers and applause] in the other hollywood, diva actors, they like to walk the red carpet beard well come at the patriot awards, we walk the red, white, and blue carpet. [cheers and applause] in the other hollywood, fawning reporters asked kale-eating celebrities -- [laughter] who are you wearing this evening? right? well, at the ...