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COM The Colbert Report September 20, 2014

It will show you how many times you check the phone stephen yes, checky. It beats the previous way to tell if you were checking your phone too much walking into a mall fountain. laughter applause stephen caught me offguard there. Checky is a worthy successor to my previous favorite app for limiting phone usage, battery. laughter i installed checky today on the new phone, and i gotta admit, i have been checking my phone a lot today, to make sure everyone sees me checking my new phone a lot today....
United States Steve Correll Michael J Fox Sean Hannity Barack Obama Adrian Peterson

COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart September 24, 2014

Biggest Climate Change march in history featuring the biggest hat and the biggest sign and the biggest puppet librarian and the biggest pain in the ass to get across the street to chipotle. Former Vice President al gore, bill bill bill deblasio,. Secretary ban kimoon. Jon whoa stop the parade ban kimoon . The biggest Climate Change in history. Come straight from the audition from youre a good man, Charlie Brown . Wearing your camp clothes . Ban kimoon by the way, what a get for u. N. Radio. U. N...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart September 11, 2014

Do you call Baltimore Ravens ray rice found himself in a hot water when a cass insecurity caught him dragging his foe and says unconscious body out of an el after he had assaulted her because a gentleman without never leave his fee san fiancees unconscioused aboutee unattended in an elevator, i mean it was the sort of dispectable act our society would not tolerate. And the Justice System had no choice but to throw the book at rice. Specifically a book titled so youre sentenced to counselling, a ...
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COM The Colbert Report September 11, 2014

Stephen ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. Welcome to the report. Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you very much. Good to have you with us. cheers and applause thank you so nachings, thank you so much, everybody. Folks, please sit down. Nation, yeah, as you know, by now if you were watching this if you were watching this, folks, if you were watching this on a television, and i hope you are, by now president obama has gone on the air tonight to outline his p...
Republic Of New York United States Justin Bieber Stephen Colbert Henry Kissinger

KTVU RightThisMinute September 20, 2014

4 for 4 with two home runs including the tworun shot in the eighth that gives the cubs their first lead of the day. Javi baez takes strike one. John it just doesnt have the depth. See how that cutter doesnt have anything . It turns into almost a twoseamer and the fact that it doesnt have depth and life at the end, the hitter can square it up. Wilson just doesnt have the stuff that weve been accustomed to seeing especially today and its cost the dodgers a couple of runs here. The runs have put th...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart September 27, 2014

How to properly squire a lady at a cotillion laughter always bring an extra pair of gloves her punch can spill laughter so if youre facing an existential threat for the president to act, but i was under the impression congress could do something about it, like declare war. Why not on your own. My time here in congress, thats not how this happened. The president of the United States would request that support and would supply the wording of a resolution to authorize this force. And at this point ...
United States New Jersey District Of Columbia Stephen Johnson John Weil Daniel Schneider

COM The Colbert Report September 26, 2014

And zyrtec® is different than claritin. Because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. Zyrtec®. Muddle no more™. Have ohare party repair remove them. And install tostitos cantina chips and salsa. Guaranteed to bring that south of the border je ne sais quoi to any occasion tostitos. Bring the party. Jon thats our show here it is, your moment of zen. The doctor put president obamas coffee cup salute on the couch. As a psychiatrist we may see these things unfolding, these episod...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart September 26, 2014

Those democrats. Its a highstakes election year. There is so much at stake. The stakes this year couldnt be higher. The stakes are stunning. Jon they are the most beautiful stakes ive ever seen. laughter jon i offer you 1 million for just one night with those stakes. laughter so just a few races will decide who run congresss upper housement and they are the subject of tonightsed race to get filibusters. Now perhaps the one person who stands to benefit most from shifting Senate Control is Current...
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COM The Colbert Report October 14, 2014

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org eagle caw stephen tonight, the midterm elections are on november 4th. Or if youre a democrat, november 7th laughter then, america reaches a milestone. Though it had to use one of those reachergrabbers. laughter and my guest, Walter Isaacson, has a new book about the history of your computer it had to be your history because i always clear mine. laughter netscape navigator launched 20 years ago today,...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart October 10, 2014

If you remember tyou werent there, man. laughter that was woodstock. Anyway, it tanked the economy. Well, when was the last time you got good and angry about it . Want to . laughter all right. You asked for it. Remember how we gift wrapped 184 billion to insurance giant a. I. G. To purchase that companys terrible mortgage bets so that their incompetence wouldnt become a global extinction event . laughter . We just got the thank you not. Former American International group Hank Greenberg is suing...
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