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Xenophobia [ laughter ] well, at the rally, that was the calendar of eventsla hter and applause the dnc the dnc has announced that the lineup for the upcoming Second Democratic debate will mirror the first debate with montana governor Steve Bullock replacing congressman Eric Swalwell who has dropped out of the race. So, basically they replaced Eric Swalwell with the faceapp version of Eric Swalwell [ laughter and applause the house of representatives voted today on a bill that woule raise the ra...

Political storm, why youre going to get zero likes on instagram, and trump releases his latest hits. So lets catch up on teeds headlines. Lets begin with the weather. If youre one of those people who spent the first half of the year saying, oh, i wish it was summer, already well, your wish has been granted, you son of a bitch. Most of the country is feeling the heat tonight. Heat warnings are in effect from central oklahoma to pennsylvania this evening. The start of a heat wave thats spreading f...

It will be so hot they wont be able to chart it, which, cant they just make new charts . Can you imagine that . Somebody says, how hot is it going to be today . Theyre just like, well, real, i dont know. Over the next three decades, well have days on which the heat index is so extreme it becomes incalculable, which seems bad, according to the same report, we can avoid the worst Case Scenario if we reduce emissions from fossil fuels. Unfortunately, the fossil currently fueling the white house doe...

Xenophobia [ laughter ] well, at the rally, that was the calendar of events [ laughter and applause the dnc the dnc has announced that the lineup for the upcoming Second Democratic debate will mirror the first debate with montana governor Steve Bullock replacing congressman Eric Swalwell who has dropped out of the race. So, basically they replaced Eric Swalwell with the faceapp version of Eric Swalwell [ laughter and applause the house of representatives voted today on a bill that would raise th...

Dist a, quote, disgusting rat and rodentinfested mess. Adding, quote, no human being would want to live there. Now, that sounds racist [ laughter ] President Trump today continued his attacks [ laughter ] Elijah Cummings and thty of baltimore. Tweeting, quote, baltimore can be brought back, maybe even to new heights of success andy, glorut not with king elijah and that crew. Well, okay bane. [ lauger and applause next trumps going to tweet, we have 12 hours to find what hes buried in the ravens ...

Thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out. You, yeah welcome to it yeah, lets do it im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is an snl legend and host of a brandnew show coming to Comedy Central, called lights out, david spade is joining us, everybody cheers and applause also on tonights show, Great Britain gets its very own trump. The biggest scandal from the world of chess, and why recycling is a lie. Lets catch up on todays headlines. First up a, if youve ever thought, i like donald t...

Last appear before the special committee to talk about his report on collusion basically, hes allowed to answer questions about anything as long as we already know it or dont care about it, so the Justice Department has instructed Robert Mueller to quote, remain within boundaries. Is that necessary . He seems to me like, Robert Mueller is the guy who use the dividers in the Grocery Store checkout line even when theres nobody behind him. The president weighed in on this and wrote highly conflicte...

Answers, he must add one marshmallow to his mouth. And speak through a box fan laughter also, anything regarding russian interference must be sung to the tune of love shack. For instance, they met don, jr. At the top of trump tower. laughter finally, muellers entire hearing will be accompanied by the secretary of slide whistles. Example trump said, oh, my god this is terrible this is the end of my presidency im bleep . slide whistle announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, hone...

But they started and still going on on discovery channel. And i tell you, theres nothing i like better than plopping down on the couch watching a show about great whites and digging into a big bowl of chum. [ laughter ] chum is a weird word. Chum either means good friend or bucket of fish parts. [ laughter ] of course the most terrifying shark of all is the dreaded baby shark. Not only are your kids singing about them all day, soon they will be eating them too. Kelloggs this weekend gave us a sn...

Only on the discovery channel. Then stay tuned for stupid and afraid. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes idris elba, maude apatow and musical guest Perry Farrell, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen whoo howdy doody perfect perfect have a seat, everybody thank you very much what a lovely crowd, what a lovely, lovely crow...