Page 5 - Peking News Today

The stock market today suffered its worst day since 2008, while great person trump suffered his worst day he was at m. I. T. He taught at m. I. T. For, i think, a Record Number of years. He was a great super genius, since, i dont know, yesterday [ laughter ] dr. John trump i like this stuff. President Trumps White House i really get it. Social media director, this people are surprised that i weekend, shared a video of understand it. Former Vice President joe biden every one of these doctors said...

The neighborhood which was a nice idea, clever idea, but as those of you who lined up on hollywood boulevard know, there has never been a beautiful anything in this neighborhood. [ laughter ] this neighborhood, this is where homeless spidermen gather to steal wallets from canadians. Thats what we do here. [ laughter ] a lot of the focus going into the show last night was on the lack of diversity. All the acting nominees but one were caucasian. And what do you do when you have a diversity problem...

[ laughter ] seth hes hes a doctor why do you think he knows more than he does do you do this during your actual doctors appointments mr. President , it looks like you have an undigested hamburger lodged in your stomach. No, youre wrong, thats just my second heart. [ laughter ] trump probably thinks he knows more about actual doctors because this guy was his actual doctor do you remember him . The guy who looks less like a doctor, and more like hes hiding in the witness protection program. [ lau...

Major events are being canceled, postponed. The tax deadline may even be postponed. Theyre thinking about pushing tax day past april 15th. Jeff bezos heard that and said, wow, whats tax day . The ncaa announced that march madness will go on but with no fans. There will be no spectators, outside of the players families. They should also consider playing without a ball. Thats just a petri the warriors will be playing without a crowd. But basketball games in the pros have been played without fans b...

Outbreak. Lets start with the less scary of the topics, six more states hold the democratic primaries today. What are the story lines use still trying to digest super tuesday from last week . Im glad you said super tuesday to make because someone said many super tuesday and thats just tuesday. River number of states up tonight. The most critical one for both of the campaigns as they spent the last couple days is in michigan. Its a state Bernie Sanders one bat back in 2016. Discover largest deleg...

Faithful. Youll have a butt clean enough to eat off of. So dont worry about the t. P. Shortage, come to ted bidets budget bidets and get the water up your squatter. Squatter. Stephen welcomes john oliver, and musical guest, alex ebert. With jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live onape from a safe distance, its stephen clbert stephen fire hello. Welcome to day two of my special quarantine edition of the late show with stephen colbert. Or as were calling it tonight, the flame show with stephen ...

Cause theyre gone i am announcing i am suspending my campaign for president. When your polls were high we will win or asking whos this guy im tom steyer. [ laughter ] no one know they come and go goodbye super tuesday the race goes on but without you maybe youll be picked for v til then we will miss you dont ask yourself why no one vote for me i know we can do it, because ive done it could have told you thats the way it would be in the polls, mayor de blasio is hovering around zero. [ laughter ]...

Warren was an incredibly competent, pragmatic, intelligent, and wellspoken in other words, she never had a chance [ laughter ] thats right, Elizabeth Warren is dropping out of the president ial race. And it kind of feels like when your favorite teacher retires. Youre sad to see her go, but also happy for her because she doesnt have to deal with your annoying classmates anymore. [ laughter ] republican congressman matt gaetz wore a gas mask on the floor of the house of representatives yesterday w...

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests seth meyers, Whitney Cummings musical guest puss n boots and featuring the legendar roots crew questlove 1219 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness thank you very much, everybody welcome. [ cheers and applause thank you so much. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here youre watching. I appreciate it. Well, you guys, earlier today, Elizabeth Warren announced that she is droppin...

Coronavirus. That story again, several states are fighting coronavirus by asking people to put their saliva in the mail [ laughter and applause just send it out, just get it out of there [ cheers and applause former new york mayor Mike Bloomberg said yesterday that he would vote for senator Bernie Sanders if he was the would not be happy doing it. Yeah we know. Youre [ laughter ] daniel tonight, on a youre never happy little late with Lilly Singh Lilly you know what men do [ light laughter ] whe...