Page 2 - Pete Davidson News Today

This is you know, this is now, just to be safe, im going you know, this is, like oh to take the temperature againt . This is what i do. I read all day long. beeping stephen what have you got . Well, have you ever read this announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert one, the death of truth byiko . Tonight, confederasee you later stephen nope, i have not. Plus, stephen welcomes thats a good one. Wesley lowery and judd apatow. Stephen yep. About how the government has changed the meaning of tru...

It is extending its emergency Lending Program. Twoday meeting coming to a close today and fiery hearing on capitol hill between william barr and democrats. The hearing appeared to have more questions than answers at least that were allowed. Ag had a question of its own, how long will we let cities burn. Federal agents pulling out of seattle now. Other cities following on spike of violence. Gulleny giuliani this morning. Its all here right coming up. Markses this morning meanwhile look at this, f...

Im going to win this. Steve tonight join jimmy and im going to win this. Jimmy here we go dont laugh. His guests, pierce bronsan, Nicole Richie, pink and the legendary roots crew and now heres jimmy jimmy hi, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning into the tonight show. I really approaeciate it. What a show we have tonight. Pierce bronsan, Nicole Richie. Video. Jimmy i think we have a winner. She won black pink, we love you guys so kristin wiig, black pink amazing, funny much congrats on the re...

Not the weight of the world, more like the weight of my uncut hair piling up on top my head. And, again, im on the fence cut it or grow it out to the length of James Spaders character steff mckee in the film, pretty in pink. Oh, man. I mean, to have that confidence, hand in pocket, leaning up against a red sports car one day. Who knows, one day lets get to the news. President trumps birthday was yesterday. So let me be the first to say happy 104th . After he was recorded uneasily walking down a ...

Ordered sushi from sugarfish. But in between ordering and delivery, we got nervous. And decided to microwave it. Microwave sushi is kind of disgusting. Yeah, kind of. Who could have ever guessed raw fish in the microwave wouldnt be good . In las vegas, some hotels and casinos are open for business. With precautions in place. For instance this gentleman came ready for video poker with a mask glove cigarettes hes smoking under the mask. No one has ever cared more and less about his health at the s...

I didnt know. But he was joking because i only watched part of the video. Turns out there were 29 minutes of this on cspan that indicate he was joking about carrying the empty boxes for the camera. Which i didnt know. I dont have the endurance to watch mike pence carry boxes for 29 minutes on cspan. But i should have watched the whole thing, i guess. Bottom line is, i was wrong, he was joking. When i found out i was wrong, i acknowledged it by taking the video down and tweeting an apology of sor...

Machines. This was the scene here in ng t. This is where we shoot our show, usually. Weve been on that street almost 18 years. Ive never seen a crowd anywhere near that big. The people of l. A. Have showed up which is encouraging. Do you know how hard it is to get people to walk in l. A. . In l. A. , activism usually means wearing a lapel pin to the Nickelodeon Kids choice awards. These protests are like the president s suits, they just keep getting bigger and bigger. They had a moment of silenc...

Agree that donald trump is a man of faith. Which is not a lot of people, but still too many. Trumps faith is like bigfoot, only a handful of nuts believe it exists. And the only evidence is this photo of a lumbering ape like creature holding a bible upside down. So, last night i mentioned that trump tweeted another wackadoodle Conspiracy Theory, claiming that 75yearold protester who was shoved to the ground by cops in buffalo could be some kind of evil antifa operative, jamming Police Scanners w...

Write a speech for him about Race Relations, but this time in favor of them. Thats right trump asked Stephen Miller to write a speech for him about Race Relations stephen mil that Stephen Miller the guy behind the muslim ban and putting kids in cages . You might as well ask melania to write you a love letter. Well, this has a lot of curse words for a love letter. Im not sure thats i dont think any of this is appropriate. The longrunning show cops was canceled yesterday, honoring the long traditi...

Patent for photoshop. But its interesting. This is the schematic from the patent. Is that not the bleakest thing youve ever seen . I have another idea, how about we just try to go three months without taking selfies altogether . According to a new poll, 27 of americans somewhat or strongly agree that donald trump is a man of faith. Which is not a lot of people, but still too many. Trumps faith is like bigfoot, only a handful of nuts believe it exists. And the only evidence is this photo of a lum...