Dear Prudence,
Back when my husband and I were dating, I cheated on him (there were extenuating circumstances, but I still greatly regret it). We’ve now been married a number of years. I thought we had worked through things more or less, though I’ve never been certain he completely trusts me. Recently, he brought up the fact that he’d like to open our marriage. I’m clear I don’t want this if nothing else, the toxic stew of jealousy and hurt around the cheating episode convinced me. When I said I wasn’t comfortable with an open relationship, he told me I was a hypocrite and have no legitimate objection because of the cheating episode. I feel rotten about the pain I caused my husband but don’t want to be bullied into polyamory or constantly punished for something that happened in the past. Is it time to walk away?
Dear Prudence,
When my friend “Sally” got engaged, she had suspicions her now-husband was cheating, but married him anyway. On the night of her wedding, one of the groom’s friends got drunk and told me all about the infidelity. He carried out an affair with a close friend of theirs for their entire dating relationship (they’re still close friends and she’s over at their place all the time). Now Sally has a baby with him too. I have been keeping this secret. I didn’t see the point in telling her at the time, since she married him even with serious reasons to suspect him of cheating. But it’s been hard for me to stay close to her knowing what I know. I have had nightmares about it. I know I couldn’t forgive this if I were her, but she mostly knew he was cheating beforehand. She just didn’t want to believe it. She recently messaged me and asked if I didn’t like her anymore since I’ve been so distant. What can I do?! I feel like I can’t continue to be friends wit
Dear Prudence,
We (me, my husband, and our son and daughter) moved into our house about a year ago. We met the neighbors next door about two weeks in. They’re an older couple with grown kids. Our only interactions since then have been a friendly wave here and there. I mostly only see the husband outside, since he smokes. A few days ago, he was outside smoking when I’d just gotten home with my sister and daughter (she’s 2). I asked how his wife was, and he asked after my husband. We were about 60 feet apart so we were kind of speaking loudly. Anyways, he said something about how cloudy it was, and I responded with “Yeah, that’s why we left the park early.” Suddenly I see his free hand wander down to his crotch. I thought maybe he was just adjusting himself so I looked straight ahead to give him a minute, but then to my horror realized he was lingering there. Before I could process what was happening, he took his penis out and started playing with it.
Dear Prudence,
I am happily married, financially stable, and a mom of a beautiful, feral toddler. On a drunken night I convinced myself that I did, in fact, want a sibling for my toddler quite the 180 from my staunch stance of being “one and done!” I’m now 10 weeks pregnant with my second child and plagued with nausea, vomiting, and most of all regret. Should I terminate this pregnancy and tell all (including my husband) that I miscarried? He, his parents, and my parents are all excited about baby No. 2. I, however, am completely disappointed in myself for having a lapse in judgment and thinking I would be OK with getting pregnant again.