Roger Addison News Today

Count me out, girls. Oh, but, wilbur, rabinski is the worlds finest pianist. Therell be fighting to get in tonight. Good. When you get home, let me know who won. You both have a perfect driving record. Perfect. No tickets. No accidents. That is until one of you clips a food truck, ruining your perfect record. Yup. Now, you would think your Insurance Company would cut you some slack, right . No. Your insurance rates go through the roof. Your perfect record doesnt get you anything. Anything. Perfe...

Well, come on, then, parker. [binghamton chuckles] what do you mean, captain . Mchale, what would be the answer to all of our prayers . Rice pudding for lunch, sir. Youve been transferred [chuckles] thats it im free, im leaving taratupa haha boy, thats even better than rice pudding ohoh. Parker, one of these days, im going to kick the raisins right out of your rice pudding for you, youoh, dooh, youre not going to upset me today, parker. You are not going to upset me todaynothing is going to upse...

[telephone ringing] your phone, sir. I know what it is. Answer it. Yes, sir. [telephone ringing] captain binghamtons office. Who . The Fleet Medical officer . Yes, sir. Sir, its admiral harris. And he sounds very angry. Well, give me that. Here, sir. Stay away from that board while im on the phone. Sit down. Cheaters never prosper. Hello, doctor, i mean admiral. Its captain binghamton. What kind of a pest hole are you running . According to reports here, your sick bay call has increased 400 in t...

I wish they hadnt built the golf course so close to the bridle path. [neighing] yes. Uh, look, why dont we go over and have a hot dog, huh . Good idea. Just tie your horse up over there. Good luck, ed. I said, lets go, fred, huh . Right over here. [neighing] [kissing] [neighs] ed, i really didnt want a hot dog, but i thought id give you a chance to make a little time with princess. Believe me, buddy boy, attention people with hearing loss. What im about to tell you could change your life. Does y...

Roger i say shes not coming here, and im the boss. Ed. Now you touch that door once more, and i wont take you camping. Okay, have it your way, dad. Im not your dad. Carol, will you help me win an argument with my husband . It all depends, kay. Well, its a little devious, and kind of tricky and shady. Oh, id love to. Well, ill suggest to addison that instead of arguing anymore about whether my mother should come, we leave it to the posts. Then ill give you my honest opinion, and your mother will ...

I wanted to run away and join the circus. With your big talent, theyd grab you in a minute for the sideshow. I can just see your billing now. Ed the talking horse. Yeah, thatd put me with the freaks. Well, what do you wanna be with the circus . A trapeze artist. A trap. You . Whod catch you, an elephant . Wilbur. hiccups would you do me a favor . Please take me to see the circus. Oh, i cant do that. Itd be half price. Im under 12. Look, im going golfing with addison this afternoon. See, its his ...

No place for equine in todays world. Hear what he called me . [chuckles] equine, uh, is just another name for horse. Well, i have another name for that editor. Jerk. Dont get upset. The man is just trying to make a sociological point. Yeah. Some nerve. Saying horses are useless. Ed. Its vicious propaganda. A smear campaign. Ed. I demand equal time. Ed, the man is just stating a few facts. Lets face it. Ththe cars replaced the horse in the city. Tractors replaced em in the country. No matter wher...

Youre late for work. You grab your 10gallon jug of coffee, and back out of the garage. Right into your wifes car. With your wife watching. She forgives you. Eventually. Your insurance company, not so much. They say you only have their basic policy. Dont basic policies cover basic accidents . Of course, they say. As long as you pay extra for it. New car replacement comes standard. And for drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Learn mor...

We sure are. Youre our best friends, you know. In our hearts, you will always be our neighbors. When do you think youll be moving . Well, first of all, we have to sell our place here. Thats going to take a little time. Doll, you better put an ad in the paper. Yeah. Ill call right now. Okay. And, carol, sweetie, will you help me figure out the things ive got to do . My little head is just spinning. Of course. Ill be in as soon as i finish this sketch. And what can i say . Im so happy for you both...

Well, hes been stealing my fillies, and i went over to kick him around a little. And what happened . Nothing. Hes bigger than i am. That big, huh . Next to him i look like a poodle. Well, this, uh, this horse, midnight, is he new in the neighborhood . Yeah, he belongs to Clint Eastwood, that t. V. Star who rides bareback. Mr. Eastwood does not ride bareback. Then why do they call his show rawhide . Very good, very good. So, uh, midnight has been stealing your fillies, huh . Yeah, they go for the...