Page 4 - Sam Smith News Today

Chestnuts pretty fogood [cheers and applause] democrats in the house made donald trump only the third person, president ever to be impeached. This morning he woke up on the floor next to his tanning bed and tweeted the words i got impeached last might. Yes, and our Long National mightmare continues. Not a single republican voted for impeachment, which means they either really like donald trump or really hate mike pence. But the debate went on well into the night. Trump was in battle creek, michi...

President trump was impeached today. Though i think its a little like having a raccoon in your garage and poking it with a broom. Its still there, its just mad now. President trump was on twitter during todays Impeachment Vote and accused democrats of carrying out quote an assault on america and an assault on the Republican Party filled with atrocious lies by the radical left. [ laughter ] i feel like we elected a 2 00 a. M. Mattress commercial as president. Why do you always have to use all cap...

Kimmel live. I am your guest host for the night. Brie larson. [cheers and applause] thank you. Jimmy couldnt be here tonight. Hes recovering at home. And jimmy, if youre watching, were thinking of you, and wish you the best of luck with your new butt implants. Actually, jimmy had a big primetime special with norman lear tonight. So he asked me to fill in. He told me to make myself at home. So i went into his office, took off my bra, and drunkordered a bunch of quilts on etsy. This is an interest...

Should not pick the next president of the united states. Mr. Mayor, your response. You know, according to forbes magazine, im literally the only person on this stage who is not a millionaire or a billionaire. And joe biden fighting back after being mocked for stuttering. Breaking news in the case of that missing texas mom and her baby. Authorities surround a home in houston right now. Abc news exclusive. Pat sajak speaking out in his first interview since his medical emergency. You go in and the...

We are in the wrong bodies myjoints feel like butter. I feel loose myself. Dwayne johnson and jack black are back in body swap sequel jumanji the next level. See what mark kermode thinks of that in the film review. After weeks of campaigning, voting is under way in the general election. This morning, the Party Leaders were out casting their ballots. Its the third election in less than five years, and the first to be held in december for nearly a century. The first results are expected before mid...

Faces. When the first kid called, monster. A kid called you a monster . Yeah. Dont you bring me down today here comes superhero nathaniel sometimes when im having a good time, i forget what i look like. Newman family, i have somebody that i want you to meet. Announcer tonight, a Remarkable Television event. The bestselling book, the blockbuster movie, and now on 20 20, the reallife story of amazement and wonder. Good evening. For this holiday season, we wanted to return to an incredible journey....

In other words boo. [ laughter ] today is halloween, which means tomorrow Rudy Giuliani will be half off [ laughter ] thats right its halloween, when kids all around the country knock on doors and ask, will you sign my petition to stop Climate Change . Candy no the world is burning. [ light laughter ] according to nbc news, after being named President Trumps cybersecurity adviser in 2017, Rudy Giuliani got locked out of his phone after entering an incorrect password ten times [ light laughter ] ...

Make a wish, hanukkah. Thats right, President Trump hosted a hanukkah reception at the white house. Its his favorite holiday because no matter how hard he tries, he cant misspell it. [ laughter ] in a new interview, House Speaker nancy pelosi said that she never watched President Trump on the apprentice, and then trump said he never watched her on golden girls. [ light laughter ] you were blanche, right . According to reports, Rudy Giuliani has reached a divorce settlement with his third wife th...

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests dolly parton Kacey Musgraves, and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1160 steve and now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy hey, thats what im talking about. [ cheers and applause welcome, everybody, welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause thank you for being here thank you for watching what a special night it is our entire audience is made up of people Gordon Sondland ...

They are done with it. This elf on the shelf is like the fbi watching them at all times. My daughter jane is 5 now. Shes very focussed on the elf. We have to move him around at night, she says where does the elf go every night. And my wife says he goes home to the north pole to tell santa what he saw. Am s and she says how does he go all the way back there and then back here for morning. And then she said, am i supposed to believe everything . Things are hard to believe. In washington tonight, t...