Sparse Applause News Today

Ugh how much longer do i have to sit here . Im just gonna do it. Im shut up. Stop talking pee my pants in your brain they wont even know. Bears, beets, battlestar galactica. Oh, my god, can we please literally go anywhere else . Silence the chatter. Bjork, bjork, bjork. Shut up, brain shut up gah [nicky blitz blast off] getting too close, better pull on back what if i travel the world, exploring what makes some places happier than others . Need a onetwo im looking at the ways that where we are. ...

fox news shows begin, with a fox news alert. we are reporting tonight on a missing person paid 79-year-old caucasian male identifies as who and huh, occasionally calls others jack. last seen in delaware. maybe the basement. wearing khakis, button-down, dark aviators, a mask dangling off his ear. carrying the nuclear football. he answers to the name of the comeback kid and the big guy, a.k.a. your president joe biden. also goes by scranton joe or brandon. if you really wanted his attent...

- oh, im sweating so much. ♪ ♪♪ im questioning where all these years of introspection have gotten me-- a library of self-help books and an annoying tendency to make things about myself. in a place as magical as this, surrounded by folks who seem to have it all figured out... [sparse applause] im kinda lonely. everyone keeps telling me not to worry, to live in the moment. but, you know, thats easier said than done. do i--do i stop and buy the kfc socks? oh, my god. thats when i stumbled upo...