Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Stephen welcomes congressman adam schiff and musical guest Sharon Van Etten with norah jones. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen come on hey its the Holiday Season, thats what it is thats what it is cheers and applause oh, my goodness welcome one and all, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. The big story continues to be Donald Trumps allergic reaction to the constitution, and tonight, ill stab you with the epipen of fun in the latest installment of don and the giant impeach. cheering i have the right to do whatever i want as president. Stephen today, the House Judiciary Committee debated whether to send two articles of impeachment to the house floor. But first, they spent hours proposing highly specific and asinine amendments. Like one from florida congressman and humanhangover hyb
You confuse, and the more you forget is the whistleblowers mind controlled by Chrissy Teigen . Can you guess who . Do you have a clue . Guess who, g. O. P. Whistleblower edition the more you play, the more trump wins dirt on joe biden sold separately. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, john oliver and amy sedaris along with Paul Mccartney and musical guest big thief, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen yeah hi howdy whoo fantastic why cant we do two of those tonight . Hey, jon how are ya . Hello, friends. audience chanting stephen happy thursday thanks, everybody whoo nice beautiful thank you very much. Welcome one and all up here, down , there out there, welcome to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause piano riff but heres the thing also, im kind of not because im not actually here. We taped this in advance because im about to shoot some
laughter you know, and the way i think, song . Then what about a baby shark is just like when im at home, im just slobbing out, watching looking for a mommy shark, deet, television, like anyone. So its kind of him and me. Deet, deet, deet, deet what happens when you run out of family members . Me is me, that was always in you can go to cousins. First cousin shark, second this body and the bodys just cousin shark, third cousin once grown up. Stephen the guy behind the removed shark. Eyeballs. Yeah. And then him is that famous guy. The possibilities are infinite. Could be, lads, could be. Stephen wow. Hes very famous. We just did abby road. laughter applause why dont we keep the road thing stephen ive heard. Ive heard hes very famous. Going and do old town abby road. A man has to take his horse to abby road in the old part of so i guess the question is how town and he rides his horse till do you then deal with other he cant ride his horse no people, sort of like the emotion and the impor
And hes Battle Tested because hes already waged allout war with chrissy teigen. Whos the pussyassed bitch now . cheers and applause announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert stephen welcomes Tom Hiddleston and marie osmond, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen whoo come on welcome one and all, down here, up there, hey, everybody welcome so happy to see you. Welcome one and all, ladies and gentlemen, to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause piano riff theres big doins is what there is. I mean, the wheel keeps on turning. On saturday, a major Oil Processing facility in saudi arabia was knocked out by drone strikes. Responsibility was immediately taken by Houthi Rebels. Also known as houthi and the blowup bleep . laughter its the translation. now, these Houthi Rebels are in yemen, so, were going to bomb iran. laughter or
China. Stephen do you know anything about Winston Churchill . That is a great woman. Stephen lets move one. Now, this morning, you got in a tweet fight with bette midler. Tell me about that. That may have been the greatest battle ever in history. Stephen okay. Related question how does your staff put up with you . They take massive amounts of drugs. They have to. Stephen that makes sense. Now, i want to ask you about the u. S. S. John mccain. When were you in japan, your staff hid the mccain from your view. You say you did not ask them to do that. What did you ask them to do with the u. S. S. John mccain . Blow it out of the water. Stephen good to know. Lets lighten things up a little bit. What was your favorite 1980s pop hit . nasty by Janet Jackson nasty. Stephen sir, in your opinion, what are the chances you get impeached . I actually think its a lot better than people would think. Stephen hold that thought, sir. We are picking something up on the sonar. Down periscope. Gah final qu