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This way is illegal. I want to express my thanks to the dozens of oh, and i got your curly fries. Want me to feed them to you pelican style . Yes, sir. crunch announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, shot heard around the world. Plus, stephen welcomes elmo. Kumail nanjiani. And musical guest andra day. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen we set over here . All right. Do it. Welcome to a late show. Im Stephen Colbert...

Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight all the president s meds. Plus, stephen welcomes gayle king and amy sedaris. Featuring jon batiste and stay homins. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen ready to do it . One more time. No . That hurt last time. Youre not going to do it again . Stephen ill do it again. Im not afraid of you. Ready . Sure. Stephen lets do it. Come on snap snap welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were all still trying...

Tonight, earth dazed. Plus, stephen welcomes nathan lane and chef jose andres. Homin. and now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert. Stephen welcome to a late show. Im steve coalbert. Happy earth day, everyone. Today is a big one, because its he 50th earth day. The big 50. And, i gotta say, earth is still looking good. Shes just getting hotter every year, even with the receding glaciers and putting on a little water weight around the coastline. And earth is having kind of a mom...

Ih stepcolber tonight all the president s meds. Plus, stephen welcomes gayle king and amy sedaris featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen ready to do it . One more time. No . That hurt last time. Youre not going to do it again . Stephen ill do it again. Im not afraid of you. Ready . Lets do it. Come on welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were all still trying to process the shocking revelation that donald tr...

Thats where were at. The Senate Overwhelmingly passed a 2 trillion stimulus package hoping to ease the burden on families during this pandemic. Im proud to announce not a single senator voted against this 2 trillion rescue bill. A worst jobless numbers of all time. The u. S. Unemployment claims soared to 3. 3 million. A Health Pandemic has become a financial pandemic. There are now more than 60,000 cases in the united states. New york accounts for more than half of those cases. You wouldnt even ...

Jon so celebrate two wonderful things at once, with jon batiste sings classic valentines dayblack History Month love songs. And have a happy black valentines day History Month. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, biden headed south. Plus stephen welcomes James Marsden, sam heughan, with a special appearance by john oliver, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen...

Than the total dppped of belgium. Can you imagine how many waffles you could buy with that . I want to tell you that we what do you think about this impeachment . Have you heard about this in the newspapers . I just dont get it, impeachment when the president gets in deep trouble, isnt it more of an impicklement . Im sorry thats Jared Kushner looks like an orthodox swinderman. Whats the deal with this burisma stuff . Like what a jewish kid does when he turns 13. Burisma. So, youre from the ukrai...

Laughter you know, and the way i think, song . Then what about a baby shark is just like when im at home, im just slobbing out, watching looking for a mommy shark, deet, television, like anyone. So its kind of him and me. Deet, deet, deet, deet what happens when you run out of family members . Me is me, that was always in you can go to cousins. First cousin shark, second this body and the bodys just cousin shark, third cousin once grown up. Stephen the guy behind the removed shark. Eyeballs. Yea...

Whose father loved him. I have much am common with frontrunner joe biden. I too have a famous black friend. Also i am in the best position to defeat donald trump because i have already won over his voting bloc. Now please join my campaign, go to jong 30330. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Stephen welcomes meek mill and Nicholas Braun, with a special appearance by democratic debate allstars featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york...

Special guest, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen whoo oh, jon, there you are what are we doing . Where am i . Happy thursday cheers and applause thank you very much piano riff audience chanting stephen hey how are ya . Good to see ya cheers and applause welcome welcome one and all to the late show im your host Stephen Colbert. Weve spent a lot of time over th...