This way is illegal. I want to express my thanks to the dozens of oh, and i got your curly fries. Want me to feed them to you pelican style . Yes, sir. crunch announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, shot heard around the world. Plus, stephen welcomes elmo. Kumail nanjiani. And musical guest andra day. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen we set over here . All right. Do it. Welcome to a late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Just when you think things cant get any weirder, trump cranks it up to 11 and then swallows the knob. Today, the president held a white house meeting with leaders in the restaurant industry. as trump before we begin, fellas, how about some apps for the whole table, okay . Honey, lets get some jalapeno poppers. Nachos . Nachos, clam strips, and calamari, thanks. Oooh, garlic knots dammit. The topic was supposed to be reopening the economy, but then trump started answering questions and it was t
Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight all the president s meds. Plus, stephen welcomes gayle king and amy sedaris. Featuring jon batiste and stay homins. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen ready to do it . One more time. No . That hurt last time. Youre not going to do it again . Stephen ill do it again. Im not afraid of you. Ready . Sure. Stephen lets do it. Come on snap snap welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were all still trying to process the shocking revelation that donald trump dropped last night he cares about his health. Case in point today he had an event in a room where he was surrounded by fruits and vegetables. He was shocked to learn that fruit was available in nonrollup form. as trump usually i only see fruits by the foot. Of course, trump had to brag about how good he was to farmers. We are providing 19 billion to support our nations agricultural producers, maintain the health of our critical food supply ch
Tonight, earth dazed. Plus, stephen welcomes nathan lane and chef jose andres. Homin. and now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert. Stephen welcome to a late show. Im steve coalbert. Happy earth day, everyone. Today is a big one, because its he 50th earth day. The big 50. And, i gotta say, earth is still looking good. Shes just getting hotter every year, even with the receding glaciers and putting on a little water weight around the coastline. And earth is having kind of a moment right now, because with people staying home, the earth is turning wilder and cleaner, with reduced co2, better air quality, and animals roaming the city streets. Turns out the best present for earth day is the same as the best present for mothers day time away from her children. Just get all the unruly humans out of her hair so mother earth can sit in a bubble bath and watch outlander. Now, while humans stay inside, the worlds cities are getting reclaimed by the animals. A puma roamed the st
Ih stepcolber tonight all the president s meds. Plus, stephen welcomes gayle king and amy sedaris featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen ready to do it . One more time. No . That hurt last time. Youre not going to do it again . Stephen ill do it again. Im not afraid of you. Ready . Lets do it. Come on welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were all still trying to process the shocking revelation that donald trump dropped last night he cares about his health. Case in point today he had an event in a room where he was surrounded by fruits and vegetables. He was shocked to learn that fruit was available in nonrollup form. Usually i only see fruits by the foot. Of course, trump had to brag about how good he was to farmers. We are providing 19 billion to support our nations agricultural producers, maintain the health of our critical food supply chains, and provide Food Assistance to american families. 19
Thats where were at. The Senate Overwhelmingly passed a 2 trillion stimulus package hoping to ease the burden on families during this pandemic. Im proud to announce not a single senator voted against this 2 trillion rescue bill. A worst jobless numbers of all time. The u. S. Unemployment claims soared to 3. 3 million. A Health Pandemic has become a financial pandemic. There are now more than 60,000 cases in the united states. New york accounts for more than half of those cases. You wouldnt even think about putting the damper on whats going on in new york. That would be outlandish as its going up. No doubt. The family of former fbi agent Robert Levenson believes he died while in iranian custody. Even the easter bunny needs protection. Bakers are adding protective face masks to the easter treats. All that oh, my god. Oh, my god. A reporter bails after a Close Encounter with some bison. I aint messing with you. Oh, no. Oh, no. And all that matters. The nba with mike breen doing a psa abou