Yes, I get It. Yes, I It. I get It. I get It. You love me. What can You do . HappY tuesdaY, everYone. So Kamala HarrIs Is In the mIddle of a MedIa BlItz. Shes The VIew, 60 mInutes,a me stephen colbert, howard stern. Shes been In front of more old than BrIan Stelters. Boxers. Last nIght she made o a dIsastrous, paInful appearance on 60 mInutes. It was so bad Joe BIden turned over In hIs grave. And after that traInwreck, HarrIs Appeare D The VIew where she saId she wouldnt have done anYthIng dIfferentlY the Joe BIden durIng the last four Years. Well, except PIck A Better VIce PresIdent. A fun sIde note, when the secret servIce patted Down Better Vr found a foot long bratwurst and £14 of kIelbasa. S ecre but be remIss If we dIdnt wIsh joY a happY bIrthdaY. She turned 82 YesterdaY to celebrate, she hIt a pInatatd full of sardInes. Her cake dIdnt have anY candles In case WhoopI Goldberg breaks wInddated. MeanwhIle, TIm Walz vIsIted JImmY KImmel show Last NIght, revealed he saved Carmelas N
First Put Chip Pads Back on. Happy Monday, Everyone. Monday all right. Over the Weekend, Donald HeuMp held a rally in butleryone pennsylvania, the site of the first assassination atteMpt. Ldallyn he spoke froM behind a p Made of plexiglass, the saMe Materialt. Ke fro they used to b nancy pelosi. Not to be outdone, KaMala Harris Will join The VieW Where the Secret Service Will have Harpoon Guns in case the cast gets hungry. Youre booing. Get hiM out of here. On tuesday, hoWard Stern Onll IntervieW KaMala Harris. Shes Well prepared, having Worked for years under a different Ma tn. Ill. Ill take it. After a seven Monthke it. Investigation, a large shipMent of Elephant Tranquilizer has been seized on long island. No W, hoW Will i sleep . Asks one WoMan. I thought that Was going My Way. A Frontier Jet caught fire during a hard landing at the las vegas airport. The coMpany quickly responded by Announcina Tg theyre back. The sMoking section. In a rare Solo IntervieW earlier tonight, KaMala Ha
Yes, I knoW. I knoW. So luck I knoW. You are so lucky. Eans Its frIday, so you knoW What that means. Lets Welcome tonIghts guest. They call HIes M the perfecte anchor because he can drag doWn any shoW blockn any shs. FrIends fIrst host todd pIra, do hes talked to more men on The Street than a Uno ComedIan LIneup on laWyer. She educates. That match Is In HIgh Heels and host the kennedy saves the World podcast. Kennede Worlpodcast,y and hes s fox famIly, but only When they need help movIng. NeW york tImes best sellIng author, comedIang,rk tImesellIn. All rIght. Re W all rIght. Before We get to some neW orIes, Letse Ne do thIs. Gregs leftovers. Mom. Its leftovers Where I read g the jokeres We dIdnt use thIsI Week. It as alWays, Its my fIrst tIme readIng them. Week they. TIe Well tIe Joe Mackey to a chaIr and have TIm Walt gIve hIm a lap dance. I dont knoW Who WIll love It. More hacksaW, a spokesperson for Doug Emhoff Is DenyIngdenyI A report that he slapped an exgIrlfrIend back In 2012,t
You, you fIlthy people. I know what youre thInkIng. Happy wednesday, everyone. ThInkIngso Joe BIden Appearede w on the VIew Today where Cohoste Sara haInes saId Its lIke havIng one of The Beatles at the tablee of. True I true. If youre talkIng about georgere or john, Its not more lIke yoko. Kamala harrIs wIll vIsIt the southern border on frIday. St she saId shes lookIng forward to fInally meetIng justIn shu. Ahe say speakIng of harrIs at the s last debate, she saId she was a mIddle class kId. Howevehed er It Appearss En HarrIs enjoyed thIngs most mIddle class kIds dIdnt lIke LIvIngjoIngskIds PrIvate Schoolr growIng up In some of the wealthIest places on earth. Jo the only thIng she dIdnt enjoy was a nanny. UnlIkeanI. Her husband, wrong way. Or that was a long way for a cheap joke. Youre welcome, amerIca. New Cdc Data shows. That us ObesIty Rates have fallen for the fIrst tIme even for. But just lIke the crIme statIstIcs, the cdc left out the cItIes new orleans, Los Angeles and the vIew
Have you . You you wIll all be mIne tonIght. Happy monday, everyone. Okay. Democrats supporter IdentIfIed as ryan ruth was arrested for tryIng to assassInat aree Donals Trump on a Golf Course. ,whatever happenedsa. AskIng If you can playough through It seems IT Would be assassIn was able to gett jut just a few hundred yards away from trump. Apparently the shooter found the only Golf Course wIth a Slanted Sand Tra tp. Too soon. As You Know, thIs Is the second tIme trump has survIved multIple You K shots and accordr to an expert, hell just need for more lIke that. ImmedIately, pundIts trIed to blame It On trumps rhetorIec regardIng sprIngfIeld, ohIo, but the accused shooter wasntsh. We know thIs because he wasnt eatIng a Cate Accur W now youre loosenIng up. He needed a catch to get started. Of course, the medIa claIms the motIve cats of the Trump Hag Suspect are unknown. But thIs Is stranghee. Hares campaIgn has already asked hIm to moderate the next debate Is stra. Thankfully, the would