light, like hem lock. more tastier like spring water near a train derailment. the company lost tons of money in the wake of the dylan mulvaney controversy where they gave us the first commemorative can featuring woman-face something that will no doubt be con telled in about 10 years. sails plummeting faster than hunter biden s pants in a porno theater. and we re seeing more boycotts than at kevin spacey s sleep away camp. it s okay. it s okay that i said that. just a joke. but to me this is wrong, because while i think it s good for a company to get a message from the public when they screw up, boycotts usually hurt the people making a living who weren t responsible for this mistake. of course, the left always loves a good boycott because they seek retribution for anyone having more fun than them, which is everyone. but we re different. we re fun. we re glad budweiser learned a lesson and we hope other companies will learn not to fall for a fad. but that s enough, right? well
everybody knows greg doesn t have fans. happy tuesday, everyone. happy tuesday slept for everyone except greg, sick as a dog, or so he claims. if that were true, i would be there taking pictures. you can never be too sure with greg. i sent an intern to check on him and we now go live outside his house. it looks like greg left everyone out of the basement tonight. anyway, to the monologue. he s probably heard, an international tanis to go to the star has been banned from the u.s. open. because he s famously not vaccinated against covid-19. the disease that the multi-vaccinated first couple keeps packing to go. regularly one of the best tennis players ever. he is won 21 grand slams or is brian stelter calls it, when he goes to denny s, and appetizer. he took to twitter making the announcement and thanked his fans for love and support. he says he will keep a positive spirit and wait for an opportunity to compete again. with draconian covid restrictions still in place, who knows
i don t know, is that a perk. greg: it s true though. jamie: they have to reign it in though. i have a neighbor when i lived in my apartment in alaska, when i walked in one day he said hey if you ever need weed my brother sells weed cookies. i was like cool does he sell anything else you sell at the store? does he have access to molson bottles? i like the regulation because it s regulated. greg: that s why legalization is better than decriminalization for that reason. joey, i would rather take i find the pot at times accurate and overpowering but at the same time i ll take it over poop or pee any day kat: bold stance. greg: it is a bold stance thank you. johnny: i used to stay on 46th and i had to walk past a homeless man s urinal, the steps of a church, every single day to get to work. you re exactly right. i come from the south, we re
it is intense. and i was thinking all of that but then i thought of the movies that had sex scenes and i realized i watched them all. like 50 shades of gray, show girl cringy, bad teacher justin timberlake cameron diaz. greg: you seem to watch a lot. elizabeth: i really cringed through a lot. greg: you cringed a lot. elizabeth: i was cringing a lot. greg: did you ever see ole yeller? that s crazy. i mean joey. johnny: he killed the dog. greg: he didn t want any witnesses. johnny: that s it. greg: it s like when you were at home and you were with your family and something comes on and you re watching, it s the worst. nobody needs it. it was like watching the brady bunch when they were in separate b beds. johnny: dick van dyke same thing. there s a whole genre i ve seen
period! greg: let s welcome tonight s guests! . this comic said take my wife please and someone did, actor, writing and comedian jamie lissow! [cheers and applause] greg: that was good. she puts the fine in finance. yeah, baby. look at you can t even hold it together in the intro. it s like you re holding a tiny little mouse in your mouth. i know. greg: host of the evening edit on fox business, liz mcdonald! [cheers and applause] he s literally got a magnetic personality. retired marine corps bomb technician johnny joey jones! [cheers and applause] greg: and finally, she s like an umbrella, often left behind at restaurants. only a few times.