Todd Would News Today

They say stick to clear broth. >> karaoke is bad enough, drunk people singing songs you donts like. >> greg:-to-yrus? >> how many shows are we going to get with the chelsea-clinton team? they drove in a car and talked. we didnt like it. now they are singing in a car, we didnt like it. so maybe they need to go drive under sea in a car and see if they like it. >> greg: thats called the kennedy. [boos] >> greg: wait a second. did fonzi just walk in? >> i just, who is their publicist? because they g...

Everything but they keep getting shows. >> greg: you know who loves this? >> could they do "survivor"? >> greg: that would be great. is "survivor" still on? >> it wouldnt be if they did it. [laughter] >> greg: you know who loves this, though, is bill clinton because while they are taping this -- hes banging the house cleaner. hes banging the maid. hes banging the leaf blower. hes banging the lawn mower. the machine. not just the guy mowing the lawn. but the actual machine, one he can sit in. you...

Princess, complained about being a princess and now sold the documentary to complain about being a princess. shes profiting off of nonsense complaints about being one of the luckiest people on earth. its time for prince harry to send her back where she belongs. hollywood. i havent heard a princess wound this much since they canceled chris cuomos show. todd -- [applause] >> greg: got to do a quick round. what are your thoughts, todd? >> my favorite movie is wetting crash. he said i dont give bake...

They paid millions for an energy expert who knows nothing about energy or ukraine. at least you get to walk away with one of those beautiful pieces of art. >> greg: he uses a straw that he blows -- >> hes used to that. >> yes. you get free hepatitis with every painting, too. >> yes. >> greg: i dont know. why am i jealous? >> do you want to have an art gallery? kat: youre jealous because this guy can do whatever he wants. >> greg: yes, that pisses me off. >> you already are dressed like an artist...

Regarding britton were overwhelming and obvious. is sam a fab uist or legitimate survivor after 12 years? i cant definitively say. but we could definitively not say definitively. but we can say for sure that sam is into kinky puppy play. thats when you get aroused by making someone wear a leather dog mask and walking them around on a leash which reminds me, todd, what are you doing this weekend? [laughter] >> greg: todd, you know what drives me crazy about this story is were supposed to pretend ...

Person. >> it took me an hour to go through that darn article. who, they? kat: im here to help you. they is a [ bleep ] moron. [applause] kat: again, last time we talked about this, i said this. you dont do crimes. you certainly do crimes at an airport where everyone is watching you on video but apparently youre so stupid youre doing this more than once, and the defense is like i didnt know it wasnt my bag. you did because you took the label off and people saw do you that, too. i dont know what ...

Interviews. you [ bleep ] moron. >> greg: there you go. joe, is this how you handle your enemies? your critics? just saddle up to them and put your arm around them? >> yes, whenever i hear someone saying something mean about me behind my back. i always say something nice about them. its the best way to make a person like that look [ bleep ] [laughter] >> greg: is that basically the take on kill them with kindness? >> yes. but joe edited some of that. [fake laugh] >> greg: this is right around th...